07x31 - Drinking Butt-ies

[bunniefuu]

[Beavis and Butt-Head snickering]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- [chuckles]

Todd's cool.

- Yeah, yeah. [snickers] Todd's cool.

[snickers] Yeah.

- Hey. What are you two girls lookin' at?

- Hey, Butt-Head, he noticed us.

[snickers] - Yeah. [chuckles]

Just at least try to act cool, Beavis.

- I hope they have a hospital in your kindergarten, man,

'cause if you don't stop lookin' at me,

that's where you're gonna end up.

- Whoa, see? He did it again, Butt-Head.

[snickers] He's talking to us.

- [chuckles] This is cool.

- All right, that's it. I warned you.

- Ahh!

[punches smacking] Ahh!

[Todd grunts] Ahh! Ow!

- Hey, how's it going? - Ahh! Oh!

[Butt-Head grunts] [punches smacking]

- [snickers] - [chuckles]

- Well, I'd love to stay and kick your asses some more,

but my shiftin' hand is starting to hurt.

[car door closes]

[engine starts]

[tires squeal]

- He sure is cool.

- Yeah. Yeah. [snickers]

- Hey, Beavis, let's follow him

and find out how come he's cool.

- Yeah. [snickers] Yeah, yeah.

And then we can become cool too.

[both snicker] Yeah.

[tires screech]

[muffled rock music playing]

♪ ♪

[both snickering]

- Whoa, hey. Hey, that's it.

That's his car! [snickers]

- Oh, yeah. Cool.

[muffled rock music playing]

- I guess I'll just park right here now.

[both snickering]

- This is cool.

- Yeah, yeah.

[both snicker]

[muffled rock music playing]

Yeah, yeah. [snickers]

This is gonna be cool.

[both snicker]

- Whoa. [chuckles]

Todd.

- [groaning]

[both snicker] - Whoa.

- Hey.

- Hey, how's it going? [snickers]

- Who the hell are you, man?

- We're, like, your friends.

- We're, like, in your g*ng and stuff, you know?

It's like, you know, we hang out

and stuff like that, you know?

It's pretty cool. [snickers]

- Whatever. [groans]

[retches]

- [snickers]

This rules. - Beavis.

This is the coolest thing that has ever happened.

[chuckles]

- So, uh, Todd. [chuckles]

Since we're, like, friends--

this is cool. [chuckles]

Can you tell us how to, like, you know,

get chicks to do it?

- Yeah, that's a good question. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on, tell us. [snickers]

- [slurring] Listen, man, you gotta...

get this--[mumbles]

Take her back and do it

and have it and grab it and...

grab it and then whoo-hoo! All right.

And then you got her, man.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. [snickers] See?

See, that's what I've been telling you, Butt-Head.

It's, like, you gotta take her bike

and then drive her real slow, you know what I'm saying?

[snickers] - Beavis, you dumbass.

That's not what he said.

- [snickers] So, um--so Todd,

where are you supposed to take her bike?

- What? - Damn it, Beavis, shut up.

[chuckles] So, uh, Todd,

like, what's your secret for buying beer?

- Yeah, yeah.

Beer is cool too. Yeah. [snickers]

You can tell us. You're among friends now.

[snickers] Yeah.

- [slurring] Oh, man. It's easy, man.

You go to this place... - Oh, yeah?

- And you gotta...

give him, like, [indistinct].

And then whoo!

Oh, you're out of luck, man.

And then oh. Oh.

And then all that.

- Really? [snickers]

So all you gotta do is, like, go give 'em some tiger nachos?

I would have been buying beer every day if I knew that.

- Damn it, Beavis. Shut the hell up!

What the hell kind of stupid wuss

dumbass wuss crap are you talking about?

- [slurring] Who the hell is saying...

- Butt-Head. - Everything.

- I think you should listen more closely to what Todd said.

It's, like, um-- [snickers]

'Cause that's, um-- that's what he said.

Yeah, so, um--so Todd,

how can we get cool like you? [snickers]

- [slurring] Guys, it's like, [indistinct].

- Oh, yeah? [snickers]

- [indistinct] - Burgers and zingers.

- Beavis. - I'm like, "Yeah?"

- Damn it, Beavis, don't make me kick your ass.

[Todd laughs] All right, that's it.

- Hey, cut it out! Ahh!

Damn it! Ahh! [Todd groans]

- [groans]

What did--

[coughs]

- Ahh! - Ahh.

- What the hell are you little turds doing here?

- [chuckles] Uh...

We're, like, your best friends.

- Yeah, yeah. That's what you said.

[snickers] - What the--

I'd kick your asses if I didn't have such a headache, man.

- Ow. - [chuckles]

- [sighs, grumbles]

Look, if I ever catch you two near me again, you're dead.

And if I find out you told anyone I talked to you,

you're twice as dead.

[engine rumbles]

[tires squeal]

- [chuckles] Damn.

How does somebody get to be so cool?

- Yeah. [snickers] Todd's cool.

[upbeat rock music]

- Okay, kids. Arnold's is proud to present--

- Um, this is like, um, some show, right?

- Weezer!

- Uh, of course it is, buttmunch.

It's on TV. [chuckles] - Um, oh, yeah.

- ♪ What's with these homies ♪

- No, but, um, I don't think this is a video.

- Uh. [chuckles]

They don't play many videos anymore.

It's all, like, shows

and, like, people snowboarding and stuff.

- I think this is-- I think this is "Happy Days."

- Yeah. [chuckles]

"Crappy Days." [both snicker]

- Pretty funny, Butt-Head.

Instead of "Happy Days," you called it "Crappy Days."

[both snicker]

One, two, three, four.

A schmeagle, a schlong,

a [indistinct] incorporated!

- Yeah. [both snicker]

♪ We're gonna do it ♪

- ♪ Give us any chance, we'll take it ♪

♪ Give us any [mumbles] and we'll break it ♪

Uh, were gonna make it. We're not gonna fake it.

♪ All we need is just a little patience ♪

[both snicker] - Yeah.

I liked this show better

when that other dude owned the restaurant--

that dude from "Karate Kid."

- [snickers] Oh, yeah.

Daniel-san, if answer come from inside you,

always right.

[snickers] - Yeah. [chuckles]

That dude could kick Fonzie's ass.

- Yeah, yeah. Fonzie doesn't even know Karate.

[snickers]

- ♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

- ♪ And you know I'm yours ♪

- These dudes were always, like,

calling each other nerds and stuff.

- Yeah. I wonder why. [snickers]

- Uh, I think it was, like, back in the old days

before they invented words like nad

and buttmunch and dumbass.

- Yeah, yeah. [snickers]

Things are a lot better now.

- Yeah. [chuckles]

Buttmunch.

[both snicker]

You know what else they're always saying?

They're always saying, like, "sit on it."

- Sit on what?

[both snicker]

What? What? What?

Oh, yeah. [both snicker]

Oh, yeah.

This is a pretty cool show.

[both snicker]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪