Round and Round (2023)

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Round and Round (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

My parents' love story

began on

the seventh night of Hanukkah,

in 1986,

at a Jewish singles' mixer.

Moving forwards...

My mom was the DJ

and an absolute smoke-show.

That's my dad

in the Clark Kent glasses.

Luckily, she had a thing

for guys with glasses

and strong math skills.

...I saw the world

Crashing

all around your face...

I brought you some latkes!

What?

You look hungry!

Here!

No applesauce?

...I'll stop the world

and melt with you

You've seen

the difference...

Dad spent

the rest of the night

in the DJ booth,

holding his own.

Legend has it

they stayed up all night,

talking,

and walked across

the Brooklyn Bridge,

and just as the sun

was coming up,

they found themselves

at Goldberg's Bakery,

sharing a jelly donut.

The economist and the DJ?

Iconic!

And a lot to live up to,

if you're their kid.

So much has changed

since the night my parents met.

Thank God for Goldberg's--

unchanged,

and more popular than ever.

Every year, on the seventh night

of Hanukkah,

my parents throw a party

to commemorate their meet-cute,

complete with Goldberg's

famoussufganiyot.

That's where I come in.

See, I live in Brooklyn,

which makes it my job to bring

jelly donuts to New Jersey,

and it's a responsibility

that I take very seriously...

-...when I'm not oversleeping.

-Hello?

Rachel? Honey?

Are you still asleep?

It's nearly 10 a.m.!

Oh, no. No!

I fell asleep

while I was editing.

I must've

slept through my alarm.

Well, then,

it's a good thing

I called

to wish my special girl

a happy seventh night

of Hanukkah.

Yes. Thank you, Mom.

Oh! And to remind you,

for the party tonight,

that Goldberg's

is cash-only

and they close at--

...Closes at 2:00.

Yes, it is on my list.

Well, the order

is under "Landau".

Two dozen strawberry,

-one lemon. Oh, and, honey--

-Yes.

...Don't forget

to bring yourself.

Please don't start the latkes

without us.

Would not dare!

Mwah-mwah!

Happy Hanukkah.

Chag Sameach.

Looks like somebody

is going to a Hanukkah party.

Wrapping paper's

a dead giveaway.

Okay, yeah.

Heading home to New Jersey.

-Oh, how nice!

-Yeah, yeah.

Somebody's running late.

Boyfriend? Girlfriend?

I'm hip to that!

Oh, yeah. Boyfriend.

He should be here any second.

It's a big step,

taking someone home

for Hanukkah.

I can see

why you'd be nervous.

I'm not nervous.

No, my family's

gonna love Adam.

He's a professor

at Columbia, so.

-Impressive!

-Big school.

-Oh.

-Yeah, well.

Does he own a watch?

Okay. And...

Ha, ha, ha. So.

Uh... hi!

I'm at Goldberg's.

Where are you?

Bad news.

I'm not gonna make it.

What? Why?

I caught an airport cold

in San Diego.

I, uh... I don't think

you want anything

to do with this.

It's the seventh night.

I need you there.

"Need me there"?

Four calling birds

Three French hens...

You know,

so you can be the frontman--

tackle the tough questions

while I sit in the corner

and eat kugel.

- ...In a pear tree

-Okay.

He's gotta be there.

No, honestly. Um...

It's just the last one

at the house.

I was hoping

to share it with you.

I get it,

but I don't want

to pass along this virus like

some Hanukkah superspreader.

- ...Eighth day of Christmas

-Right. Right, yeah.

I mean, if you're sick.

Um...

Okay, yeah, just--

Five shiny rings...

-Okay, well, I've got to go.

- That rhymes with bling

-I'll talk to you later.

-Okay. Okay.

It's off.

Order for Landau, please?

Something came up?

My neighbor's nephew

might be free.

Great.

Thank you.

Hanukkah

is my favorite time of year

Just because I'm Jewish

Don't mean I can't

spread some holiday cheer

Light up that menorah

And serve me up

Some more-a

That latke

And watch it disappear

-Happy Hanukkah!

- Hanukkah

Is my favorite holiday

Oh! That was close.

I'll break out

the dreidel game

And we can spin

the day away--

No, no, no, no, no!

Oh!

Oh, man! I am really sorry.

No! No, no!

-Ah!

-It's okay!

I got it. Look, here.

No! No, no, no!

This one's still good.

It is covered in dirt.

No, it's just--

It's just a little--

It's caked in dirt!

It's a little trail spice,

that's all.

-What is "trail spice"?

-Yeah, trail spice--

you know, it's like when

you're hiking and you--

you drop your apple,

and then--

No. No, I don't know.

...You just pick it up

and you dust 'em off--

-Don't do that. No.

-Mm, mm. Mm.

Okay. Okay, well, I'm not

feeding my mother dust, so.

-You know what?

-No! Ah!

I'm so sorry.

There's a Donut Universe

on the upper level.

A "Donut Universe"?

I've got a train to catch.

I'm so sorry.

Sir. No.

No. Uh...

Sir!

You dropped your...

What is this here?

Guy!

Hello!

Where is she...

Where is she?

Oh!

There she is!

My fancy

publishing/editor baby!

Yeah. "Assistant publisher,"

Dad, but thank you.

Okay. Let me see.

Ahem.

"I love you... a latke."

Hilarious, right?

-I have some notes.

-Notes?

Auntie Rachel!

-We're making latkes.

-Okay, that's amazing,

but you know what I like

more than latkes?

My cute little...

nephew!

-Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom!

-Aw!

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Hey, you guys

started without me?

-Mm-hmm.

-But...

I always drop the first latke

in the pan,

and then you grate,

a-and Dad burns himself,

-and that's how we always do it.

-I'm sorry, kiddo.

The honor goes to the youngest,

and Noah is now old enough

to help me with the fryer.

-Oh...

-So...

you're gonna have to find

another way to leave here

smelling like

some oil and onions.

Yeah, what was the deal anyway?

Train delayed?

Oh, worse.

Some... jerk

bumped into me

at the train station.

The sufganiyotwent everywhere.

-Completely destroyed.

-No!

Yeah. I feel awful.

It's terrible.

You know what?

We're here together,

and that's what's important.

Except, um,

where is this, uh... Adam?

Oh, uh, he is not coming.

He has an airport cold.

What's an airport cold?

It's when you're afraid to meet

your girlfriend's

extended family.

Oh.

Again with the light?

I'll get my toolbox.

It's probably just a loose wire.

I mean, do you know how many

so-called professionals

that we have paid

to fix that light,

only to have it break

the next day?

I think it adds to its charm.

This house is perfect.

Oh, well, wait until

you see the new condo.

It's got a pickleball court,

-and an indoor pool--

-But most importantly,

it's got a steamroom,

so your mom and I

can have a shvitz.

-Dad.

-Stan, I do not shvitz.

I glow.

Hmm?

-You do glow.

-I do.

She's right.

Shh!

Shut the door!

What are you doing in here?

I have ten minutes left

in my podcast,

and so help me,

I'm gonna find out

who k*lled the prom queen.

Mm. Okay.

What's all that?

Uh, it's an unwelcome

Hanukkah gift

from the boss lady.

Yeah. She put

five manuscripts on my desk

before she went to Vail.

I know. I don't know.

Somehow, I thought I'd be

writing the novels,

not marking them in red ink.

Oh, speaking of

marking in red ink--

where's the Professor?

Uh, he has a name.

Oh, oh. I know. Pfft.

I got the email.

Ahem.

"Adam Singerman, 34--"

No! No!

"...Assistant biology professor

at Columbia University--"

No!

"...Research topics

include pheromones--"

-Stop.

-"...The chemicals

that regulate attraction

in species."

She sent this to everybody?

What is Mom thinking?

Why are there

so many Minion GIFs?

Leave her alone.

And of course!

You invited him home

for the seventh night

of Hanukkah--

...The night our parents met,

the night

I proposed to Bex?

Okay, well, we're nowhere

near that yet.

Uh-huh.

And he's not coming.

He's sick.

Oh, well, I'm sorry

to hear that.

Are you?

Are you sorry to hear that?

Mm. He just...

takes up a lot of space.

Yeah. That's part of

why I wanted him here.

You know,

he's so captivating.

Um, I wish I was

more like that.

Are you kidding?

This is the room

where you had us all

on the edge of our seats,

story after story.

I don't really recognize

that person anymore.

No wonder you're having

such a hard time

with them

selling the house.

What do you mean?

- Uh...

- Shoshana!

I'd better go see

what Noah's gotten himself into.

Okay.

You got this.

You're nailing it.

Look at you.

- Mm-hmm.

- You are woman!

-Yeah, this feels really good.

-Hear you roar!

Maybe shorter shoes

next time.

Beanbags should be illegal!

- Yeah.

- Shoshana!

- Love you.

- Yeah. Love you.

Down. We want a central swoop.

Down. Perfect.

Perfect.

-Hi.

-Hi.

Rach, um, the boxes

from your room,

they're going home

with you tomorrow,

because you need to start

storing your own garbagio.

Great.

Oh, yikes!

Those dreidel lights

have seen better days.

No!

No, they gotta be, what...

30 years old by now?

Well, that makes both of us,

but we're spry.

Spry-ish. Ow.

Yeah.

These beauties

won't be making the transition

to our place next year, huh?

You're hosting Hanukkah

next year?

Um...

uh, so, Mom and I talked,

and, pfft, I mean,

it just--

you know, it makes sense!

'Cause, you know,

we have a lot more space,

and, um, their condo

is kind of teeny-tiny, so...

Girls!

Why didn't anybody tell me?

-I-- We were going to.

-Why didn't they tell me?

Girls!

I found it!

Ha, ha!

The Hanukkah mix tape.

Noah, baby. Come here.

-Do you see this?

-Ahem.

It's a... cassette,

and all the songs

are recorded right here,

on this tape.

Hey, hey, hey...

Come on now!

Let's get this party started!

Okay.

And... Noah...

come here. Ready?

Want to press that one?

Great! You did it!

Good job, buddy.

Excuse me.

Yes?

May I have this dance?

Of course.

Okay, my angel delight

Close your eyes

Put on the light

I want to look at you

Yeah, yeah...

Baby, baby

It's all too much...

Uncle Harvey!

-If it isn't Rachel Landau!

-Hi!

So where is

this new boyfriend of yours?

Oh--

I hear

he's the "Boss of Biology",

the "Pharaoh of Pheromones".

-Well, he, uh--

-Dad.

Dad, he's not coming, remember?

He didn't even read

the group chat.

-He was driving.

-The "group chat"?

-Wh-- about Adam?

-Stan!

Let's get this party started!

Tally-ho, everyone!

So sorry I'm late--

I saw the group chat,

so I stopped for doughnuts.

Spelled with a d-o-u-g-h,

I should add--

King's English,

from across the pond.

-Anyway--

-Right.

There's this adorable bakery

just around the corner

from my friend's loft in Dumbo,

and I snapped up

the last of their jellies,

so, crisis averted.

You're a... life-saver.

Oh, it's the least I could do

especially since

Adam's a no-show.

I was so looking forward

to having a chin-wag with him.

A what?

But you and I should

absolutely talk shop.

Weren't you working

for your friend, uh,

who runs a-a blog, or--

Well, it's a, like,

a massive publishing house,

actually,

and I'm the assistant editor.

At our lit agency,

we avoid familiarizing ourselves

with pub houses

in the New World--

don't want the crudeness

to rub off.

Right. 'Cause you moved

to London three years ago?

Oh. Would you hang it up,

won't you?

It's alpaca.

Is it?

-Rachel, sweetheart.

-Hi.

I have someone

I want you to meet.

Grandma Rosie, I--

Hear me out!

His name is Zach.

-"Zach".

-And he's a painter,

and he is very creative.

He has the most beautiful hands.

He's like a young Caravaggio.

Yeah?

Okay, well, hey, I believe

that all of that is true,

but I'm dating somebody.

Since when

is comparison-shopping

against the law?

Grandma Rosie!

The young man

who is about to walk

through that door...

could very well be

your soul mate.

Soul mate? Okay.

If not...

six months of an adventure.

You.

You?

I take it

you've met before?

Yeah. He's the reason

we don't have

Goldberg's sufganiyot.

You really should

watch where you're going.

It was a zoo down there!

I was busting my a--

my tuchus--

to get the train

to Montclair.

Well...

you dropped your little...

thing.

Wow! These are

my Dungeons and Dragons dice.

Oh. Cool.

They're limited-edition

dodecahedron dice,

gifted to me by

an OG level-20 arch-Druid.

He also gave me

this vintage case.

Anyway, um...

I'm going to go for a lap.

Thanks for the ride, Zach.

What?

He drove you?

Why did he drive you?

Grandma?

Wow.

Donut Universe, huh?

They really upped their game.

-Mm-hmm.

-Is that raspberry?

Yeah. They're for later, so.

Ahem.

A-Are you from--

-She didn't--

-No. You.

-I'm sorry.

Okay, no. I was just--

how do you know my grandma?

Oh, I teach art

at Cedar Hill Terrace.

Oh.

...When I'm not bumping

into total strangers.

You're gonna hold that

over me forever, aren't you?

I don't think there's gonna

be a "forever" for us, so.

And, well...

-my boyfriend's--

-Oh.

...So, I gotta take this.

Hey, hey.

Are you feeling better?

Adam?

Hello?

Adam, can you--

Okay.

Hey, check it out.

Cynthia's humble-bragging again.

You can tell by the way

she flicks her nails.

Hey, hey. I gotta

give her credit for that.

She is not afraid

to show the world who she is.

All right.

Can I have everybody's

attention, please?

Whoo!

Yeah, well, yeah,

thank you for that.

Um, I just want to thank

everybody for being here

to help Joanna and me

celebrate our 36th anniversary

of the first night we met.

The night

the DJ saved your life!

That's nice. Thank you

very much for that, Harvey.

18 is a lucky number in Judaism.

It means "chai", or "life".

I'm mansplaining. I--

On this,

our double chaianniversary...

I cannot express

how lucky I am

to be married

to my soul mate.

True love

is so difficult to come by.

Yeah.

Shoshana...

we're so happy you found it

with Bex.

And who knows?

Maybe this is the year

that Rachel finds her soul mate.

Dad, can we light

the candles?

Yep, and that's my cue

to wrap things up.

Okay, so, everybody,

thank you for coming!

Let's now

all gather around the candles

and do the thing

that's most important.

Yes! Thank you!

V-tzivanu l'hadlik

ner shel Hanukkah.

What's that?

Look! Slime!

I love slime!

How do you compete with slime?

Happy Hanukkah.

Go on. Open it.

Really?

I've been waiting

for the right moment

to give it to you.

Okay.

It's been in our family

for generations.

Yeah.

Grandma, it's beautiful.

It's an antique...

like yours truly!

My Tanta Sophie used to say,

"It brings light into the lives

of those who spin it."

She'd also say--

"Don't eat

the day-old gefilte."

Oh, there's wisdom in both.

Well, I love it.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Easy on the merchandise.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Looks great, sweetie.

Mm-hmm.

Hey. Can I sub in?

Oh, no. I'm on a roll.

Oh, by the way--

I like that Zach.

He's good with kids, too.

-Dad, please.

-You be quiet.

So, Cuz.

Where's Adam, really?

I'm not buying

the "home sick" excuse.

Yeah, well, if I was you,

I'd worry a little bit less

about my life

and a little bit more

about your dreidel game.

Oh, I see. Trying to get

inside my head, huh?

Not gonna work.

-Okay.

-Oh, Zach.

Yes?

Big dreidel game.

You want in?

Yeah, that sounds fun. Sure.

-Let's do it.

-Hey. Psst. Hey.

-Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

-What is happening?

Uh, you don't want to play

the cousin game.

You're gonna lose your shirt.

-Oh.

-Yep.

I'm a level-14

Wood Elf Ranger, so.

Of course you are.

I think I can handle

a little game of dreidel.

Yeah?

With your little... s-sword?

Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin!

Shin! Shin! Shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-

shin-shin-shin-shin!

Ah!

Pay up, Jasper Johns!

And I'm out.

Hey! Rachel!

We need another player.

Uh, yeah.

I'm more of a bench-warmer.

-Afraid you're gonna lose?

-Oh, Josh, leave her alone.

Yeah, Josh. She's had

a hard enough night as it is,

with her boyfriend

bailing on her

-at the last minute.

-He didn't bail on me!

He's sick, so. He's sick.

You realize

there's no such thing

as an "airport cold," right?

You got this, kid.

It's your moment to shine.

Destroy him!

All right.

We're waiting.

Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin!

Shin! Shin! Shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-

shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin!

-Shin-shin-shin--

-Fire.

Shin-shin-shin-shin!

Yeah, you're on fire.

We get it.

No, no, no!

The curtains are on fire!

Oh!

Oh!

Okay!

Oh, thank you, boys.

Do you know what started it?

From what we can tell,

there was a frayed cord

-on your twinkle lights.

-Oh, the dreidel lights?

Yeah. It's a good thing

nobody got hurt.

Thank you.

The closing on Tuesday...

We'll have to postpone.

Or you could reconsider.

I'll text the realtor.

I'm kidding!

Let's get some sleep. Mm?

One more night--

Don't say that.

...In your old room.

Hello?

Rachel, honey. You're asleep?

Yeah.

I'll be right downstairs.

What? Oh! No.

No, no, no, no.

I was just calling

to wish my special girl

a happy seventh night

of Hanukkah.

And to remind you,

for the party tonight,

that Goldberg's

closes at 2:00 p.m. sharp.

I'm sorry.

What day is it?

December 13th.

What are you doing

still in bed?

It's nearly 10:00.

I'm sorry. I overslept.

I am having the craziest dream.

I'm sorry.

Tonight is the seventh night

of Hanukkah?

Yes.

The order is under "Landau".

Two dozen strawberry,

one lemon.

Chag Sameach!

Looks like somebody

is going to a Hanukkah party.

Have we met before?

I feel like we've met.

Probably just my face.

I've been told I look like

a young Barbra Streisand.

Yeah, maybe.

Sorry, just have to pick up.

My boyfriend.

Anyways.

Hi. I am having

the strangest day.

You and me both! Ugh!

I ordered an oat milk cortado

this morning,

and the barista made it with--

get this--

soy milk!

What is this, 1995?

'95, yeah.

Uh, are you almost here?

Uh, you know, uh,

I'm afraid I've come down

with an airport cold.

It might even be the flu.

I think

I'm gonna just head home.

Four calling birds

Three French hens

-Okay, um...

- Two turtle doves...

You're not just saying that

to, I don't know,

get out of

coming home with me?

If anything,

I just don't want to give

your family a virus,

like some Hanukkah

superspreader.

Okay. I swear we've had

this conversation before.

Sorry, man, no change.

Um, I'll call you later.

-Okay, b--

-Hi.

Order for Landau, please?

Oh...

can you throw some extra tape

on those boxes, please?

Thank you.

Hanukkah is my favorite

time of year

Just because I'm Jewish

Don't mean I can't spread

some holiday cheer

Light up that menorah

Serve me up some more-a

That latke

and watch it disappear

Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry.

Uh, big fan.

Uh, just a quick question.

Do you know any other songs,

or is it just this one?

Sorry, ma'am.

No requests.

- Spend the day away

-"Ma'am"?

You called me "ma'am"?

We don't need

no Christmas lights

We all got

All them crazy nights

Yeah, Hanukkah is what--

We cel-e-brate

Oh!

-I'm so sorry.

-Oh, my gosh.

It's... It's you.

This one's still edible!

No, it's not.

Okay.

There's a...

Donut Universe--

-Yeah, I know.

-...On the upper level.

I got a train to catch.

Okay. Hey.

Are you seriously going

to leave me here alone again

with your...

...nerd box?

What is happening?

Oh!

Oh...

There she is!

My fancy

publishing/editor baby.

Mm.

We were starting to think

you missed your train!

But you know what?

It's okay, because...

"I love you a latke."

Dad, it's bad.

-No--

-It's so bad--

Listen, I love you, Rach,

like Snoop Dogg loves

"Dr. Dreidel".

He is still

workshopping that one.

No, I know. I--

What's wrong with me?

-I'm so sorry.

-Yeah, that's all right.

Where's Adam?

Uh, he is not coming.

He's sick.

Something viral.

Probably contagious.

You can go ahead

and put that in group chat.

Okay. Uh, hey, Ma...?

Where do we keep

the fire extinguisher?

Under the sink.

Oh, the sink!

Okay.

I read something somewhere

that you should probably

keep the fire extinguisher

in the living room,

so this is gonna be

under the bluecouch.

Okay? Just so we're all clear.

Wait, wait, wait!

Are-- Aren't you

forgetting something?

The sufganiyot?

Right. Um, bad news.

Some jerk ran into me

at the train station.

Jelly donuts

completely destroyed.

No.

Probably should've

led with that.

Shoshana,

I know you're in here.

Can we talk?

I got 10 minutes left

in my podcast.

Can it wait?

I could really use your help.

Okay, yeah, sure.

Of course.

Okay. So this is gonna sound...

a little out there,

but, um...

I am living the exact same day

as yesterday--

like, same order of events.

Oh! You and me both.

I mean, ever since

Noah was born,

my life has been

a never-ending cycle

of snot noses

and neediness.

Nope. It's not quite like that.

I am never gonna find out

who k*lled the prom queen.

That.

You said that yesterday

about the podcast.

-Hmm?

-Exact same thing.

Oh, uh...

- That!

- Shoshana!

I'd better go find out

what Noah--

It happened yesterday

and you said that!

-Okay.

-You said that exact same thing.

And then you walk away,

and you waddle with your heels,

and you say something snarky--

- Shoshana!

- Stop. No. Okay.

Argh!

Let's get this party started!

Okay, okay, okay.

You hanging in there?

I hear you're having a day.

Yeah.

Uh, I'm either psychic,

or I'm having

the longest dj vu ever.

Cynthia's about to walk

through that door--

Madonna accent and all--

with a box from a bakery

called "Tarte and Soul".

Tally-ho, everybody!

You're like

Nicolas Cage from Next.

You could have

your own 1-900 number.

Bex, I am serious.

I'm living the same day

over again.

Hi, lady!

Get over here!

The two of us must

just have a chin-wag!

This can't be happening.

Do you know

what time it is?

Dance to the music

Round and round

and round we go

Dance to the music

Rachel, honey...

...put down the donut.

Let me guess. There's someone

you want me to meet?

What's with the attitude?

Sorry. Um, you were saying?

Well, uh, his name is Zach,

and he's a painter,

and he is very creative.

He has

the most beautiful hands.

He's like a young Caravaggio.

You?

-Hi.

-Oh!

So you two have met before?

Mm-hmm. Funny story.

We bumped into each other

at the train station.

Yeah, actually,

she's being polite.

It's my fault.

I was rushing

to catch the train,

and then we slammed

into each other,

and powdered donuts

flew everywhere.

Yep, and he ran off

and forgot this.

-My dice protector.

-Yeah.

Nice.

So you left her there,

all alone?

Yeah. He had to come

pick you up.

How did you know that?

Um...

the, uh... train.

Train to Montclair,

you two arrive together?

Math.

Uh, so that's how we met.

It sounds like

a nice meet-cute.

Grandma.

I'm seeing someone.

Oh, it's funny...

I, uh, just don't seem

to see anyone.

I'll, uh, just leave you two

to get better acquainted.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Oh.

Looks like Donut Universe

really upped their game, huh?

Yeah. So, you play

Dungeons and Dragons, right?

Uh, yeah...

So you like science-fiction?

I'd say fantasy's

more my genre,

but I've been known

to dabble.

-Okay.

-Why?

So what

I'm about to say

is gonna sound insane--

Okay.

But, um, I'm fairly certain

I'm stuck in a time loop,

and we've met before.

You know, you could just ask me

if I'm single.

No, I'm not--

I'm not hitting on you.

It's like, um--

it's like

I'm in Palm Springs.

On vacation?

No. The Tom Cruise movie?

Where I'm living and dying

and repeating.

Maverick?

My day is repeating.

Groundhog Day!

It's like Groundhog Day.

I'm in Groundhog Day.

-Okay.

-Yeah!

I think I can work with this.

Okay.

One question--

am I supposed

to play Andie MacDowell

or Bill Murray?

No, no.

We are not role-playing.

This is real.

I keep organizing the donuts

the same way every day,

and my grandma keeps

trying to set us up.

Yeah, and in this time loop,

do we ever, like...

Like...?

Oh! No.

It's a Hanukkah party.

-No, of course.

-At a Hanukkah party,

we light candles

and eat lots of latkes.

I was going to say

"light candles".

My cousin's trying to loop you

into a game of dreidel.

Don't. You lose your dignity

and your shirt.

I don't think

I'm gonna lose my shirt.

No, you will.

And...

that's before

the living room sets on fire.

What?

But it's not gonna

to happen this time!

Mm-mm! I fixed the problem.

Look. The big, faulty wiring.

Okay? I fixed it.

Mark my words.

Tonight is gonna be smoke-free!

Well, the good news is,

we were able to contain

the fire to the kitchen.

Do you know what caused it?

One of the overhead fixtures

had some faulty wiring.

Oh.

Thank you!

Stan? Uh...

Rachel?

Can I talk to you?

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

Okay.

Okay, I can see now

that you weren't

just hitting on me.

No. I'm not--

I'm not ever hitting on you.

There's no hitting on you.

This-- This is

an actual time loop, right?

-Yes! Yes.

-Yes. Right.

And how many times

have we met?

I don't know.

Like-- like, three?

-I keep losing track.

-Okay.

I need you to help me.

I have an idea.

Give me your phone.

All right.

This is great.

I'm gonna give you my number.

-Okay.

-Okay?

If you wake up tomorrow morning

in a time loop,

you just call me.

-Right. Um...

-Yeah?

And you do realize,

when I wake up,

your number

won't be in my phone?

I'm realizing that now, yeah.

Exchanging phone numbers,

I see?

Oh, no. It's--

It's not like that.

Whatever you like, dear.

Huh.

I don't like it,

'cause that's not

what's happening.

So what is happening?

What is happening next, exactly?

-Get in the house!

-What, what, what? Then what?

Hanukkah

is my favorite holiday

I'll break out

the dreidel game

And we can spin the day away

We don't need

no Christmas lights

If we got

all them crazy nights

Yeah, Hanukkah

is what we celeb--

Okay. Look, lady.

I'm trying to work here.

Shh.

Look, that's your dance space!

This is my dance space.

Shh! Okay?

Oh! Oh, Zach!

Hey. Hey.

We got all them

crazy nights, yeah

No!

Hanukkah

is what we celebrate

Oh, this nerd

is trying to k*ll me.

-Hi? Hi, hi, hi.

-Hi.

Hi. Rachel.

-Okay. Hi. Do we--

-Hi.

I'm sorry.

Do we know each other?

Yeah. Um, this is gonna

sound strange, but...

I'm stuck in a time loop,

and you said

you could help me get out.

Role-playing?

-No.

-That's cool!

No, no, I "LARP"--

-No.

-...So I get it--

No. What is it

with you and role-playing?

I have proof.

Missing something?

-Yeah.

-My Zayde gave me these.

Your Zayde

is an "OG level-20 arch-druid"?

Learn something new every day.

How did you know that?

Oh, another thing.

You are wearing

black boxer briefs,

purple waistband,

and a label that itches

a little bit too much.

But you told me to tell you

that as proof, right?

Uh-huh.

-We going?

-Where--

-Come on!

-I'm going.

Hanukkah

But the thing is,

for the fire, this time,

it was caused by faulty wiring.

That's intriguing.

But, you know,

here's the thing

about those time-loop movies.

The main character

always has a big change

they need to make

in their lives.

Okay, but the thing is,

my life

is actually going perfect,

and there's no notes,

and I can't think of anything.

-Oh--

-Rachel!

-Oh, Grandma!

-What a lovely surprise.

Hi, Grandma.

-Oh!

-Mwah.

Oh.

Uh, I was gonna come

and pick you up,

and then I ran into Zach

at the train station.

Oh. What a happy coincidence.

Something like that.

Now, if I could only

find my keys.

Oh, where could they be?

Oh.

You know, you two

have so much in common.

Both creative types.

Oh, no. I'm in publishing.

I'm an editor.

No.

She happens

to be a fabulous writer.

I still have her writings

from college.

Maybe, uh...

you'll see them tomorrow,

after the unveiling of

the holiday art installation.

Hard candy?

No. Sorry--

"holiday art installation"?

Yeah.

It's at the luncheon tomorrow.

We do it every year.

It's part of my art class

for the residents.

He used to organize

the event with his Zayde.

Maybe you'll show up this time.

So... do you still write?

Oh, uh, no. No.

I'm more in the business

of making other people's dreams

come true.

Wow. You're a little young

to give up on your dreams.

I mean, Zach here?

He's sh**t' for the stars.

Ah, thank you, Rosie.

Well, he may be penniless,

but, uh--

I'm not penniless.

Right. Right.

He's willing to take his shot.

Look, no one says

that you have to make the world

revolve around you.

Just don't let anyone

get in the way of your shining.

Okay.

Okay. Thank you.

-There they are.

-Found 'em!

Great.

The Cutlass Supreme.

Great.

Stay off the toll ways.

I have unresolved tickets.

There's this super-cute

artisanal bakery

right down the street

from my friend's loft in Dumbo.

It's called

"Tarte and Soul".

I picked up

the last of their jellies,

-and let me tell you--

-Hi.

...Their truffle oil drizzle

is sublime.

Welcome. Welcome.

Oh, Mom, uh,

this is Grandma's friend, Zach.

Pleasure to meet you,

Mrs. Landau.

Thank you for having me.

Oh, well!

The more, the merrier.

-Oh, good. Thank you.

-Mwah!

-Right. Okay.

-Mama.

Come this way.

Hey, lady.

I'm sorry to hear about Adam.

Oh, I was so looking forward

to a--

...Chin-wag?

Yeah.

- Huh.

- Rachel?

Honey, these boxes

in your bedroom

are going home

with you tomorrow.

For sure, Dad.

It is time for you to start

storing your own garbagio.

Every single time!

He's obsessed with those boxes.

Well...

maybe there's a reason

he keeps bringing it up.

Could be a clue inside.

It's like old yearbooks

and stuff.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Can I be the judge of that?

Oh, look.

Another NSYNC ticket.

Shocker!

You need to practice

some detachment.

Well, you're telling me

you don't have a single box

of mementos

at your folks' place?

They're divorced,

and no, I don't.

Oh.

What do you got here? Poems?

-Short stories?

-No. They're like a decade old.

Just-- They're stupid.

Well, this one's marked

two years ago.

-No. That's mine.

-Whoa. Hold on!

-Whoa, hey, hey--

-That's not for you.

Hold on. What is-- Wait.

What is this?

Okay, well, it's--

That is

my young-adult novel.

It's about a...

band of misfits on a quest

to find the elixir of youth,

-if you must know.

-Well, you had me at "elixir."

-Stop.

-Can I read this?

No. Absolutely not!

It's a work in progress.

Well, if it's a work

in progress,

what's it doing

in a box in New Jersey?

Not haunting me.

Apparently, it's a lot easier

to give notes

than it is to get 'em.

Okay. Now that we're done

our awkward jaunt

down memory lane,

can we get back

to the cosmic time-loop?

-Oh, right. That thing.

-"That thing."

We need an expert-- someone

even more nerdy than you,

if that's possible-- probably

not, but we should try.

Careful what you wish for.

1-800-"NERD".

So the fire breaks out

in a different way each time?

Mm-hmm.

Fascinating.

Look, if I'm not back in time

for the candle lighting,

I'm never gonna hear

the end of this.

Trust me, this guy

is a walking encyclopedia.

Plus,

he's one of my best friends,

so let's just keep it

a little more dork-positive,

okay?

"Dork-positive"?

Really?

This one... is set

on an enchanted island,

where everyone

is stuck in a time loop.

It's kind of like

an exploration

of immortality, you know.

"Time as a construct,"

you know?

Illusion versus reality.

How does it end?

Oh, everyone dies.

Ahem!

Uh, you know what? Let's, uh,

maybe not start with that one.

Okay.

Oh, this one

is more of a time-travel story,

but it has a twist at the end

that might come in handy,

and, oh, yeah,

this one is set in the 1960s,

but I promise you,

it's a real page-turner.

I'm not gonna have time

to read all of these.

Andy?

How many times did Bill Murray

repeat the same day

in Groundhog Day?

Oh, uh...

most scholars agree,

it's 12,395 times, give or take.

And what's that in years?

Human years?

He follows

the Vulcan calendar.

34 years...

nine months,

and five days.

-No.

-See? Plenty of time.

No, no, no, no, no!

I-I have a job to get back to,

bills to pay.

-I have a boyfriend!

-Oh, yeah.

The professor

with commitment issues?

He does not have

commitment issues!

Why do you think

he keeps bailing on you?

I forgot,

you're Esther Perel!

That's you.

Hey, can you guys

just keep it down a notch?

You're scaring

the customers.

Okay. Do you want

to figure this out or not?

Yes.

Then you have

to trust the process.

Okay.

So I think we can all agree

that the best course of action

is to figure out

the inciting incident--

that's the event

that sets the story in motion.

-Okay, yeah.

-She's a writer.

-Editor.

-She knows

what an "inciting incident" is.

Really?

You know, I've actually been

working on this fantasy series

about these shapeshifting elves.

It's really heady stuff.

-We should trade pages--

-Can we stay on topic?

-Don't pitch her.

-What?

The better we know each other,

the better we'll work together.

Okay. So, guys.

Seventh night. All right?

Maybe it's something

Hanukkah-related.

I mean--

We're closed!

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, could be.

Hanukkah. Um...

-Miracles?

-Right.

Lightness over dark.

Uh, getting the foil

off the chocolate gelt.

Can we please stay on topic?

I'm begging.

What? It's really hard to do,

and it's really important

to Hanukkah.

-Ridiculously hard.

-Is it? Ridiculously hard?

This is brainstorming!

There's no bad ideas

in brainstorming.

Yeah, he's right.

Okay. Speed round.

Favorite Hanukkah traditions.

Go!

-Me?

-Yes.

-Lighting the candles.

-I said lighting.

Spinning the dreidel--

not to be confused

with spinning the bottle,

which is also a good time.

-Dreidel.

-Nobody's gonna confuse that.

The dr-- okay.

The first night,

when it was my turn to spin,

I used an antique dreidel

my grandmother gave me,

and then the curtains

caught on fire.

Like, immediately?

-Yeah.

-Inciting incident.

Do you think it's related?

I think we need to get

our hands on that dreidel.

Okay.

...B-mitzvotav,

v-tzivanu

l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah.

Slime!

I love slime!

Dreidel incoming.

Happy Hanukkah!

Oh. What could this be?

It's just completely opposite

to what I'm telling you.

But that's it, WandaVision

is a meditation on grief!

She's an Avenger, arguably

the most powerful Avenger.

Just because she's a woman--

I was just waiting

for the right moment

to give it to you.

Thank you.

It brings light into the lives

of people who spin it.

How does it do that, exactly?

You know, Hanukkah--

uh, festival of lights...

oil for days--

all that jazz.

Just because she's a woman,

it has to be a meditation?

Hey, Dungeon Master.

Excuse me. Uh, can I talk

to you for a second?

This is a pretty important

conversation we're having.

Oh! Right! Uh...

to be continued.

Dude. She has seen every

single Marvel movie ever made,

including the TV spinoffs.

I think I might

be in love with her.

I think we're annoyed

by her, right?

-Stop. Okay.

-Yeah. Get on board.

Okay...

Impressive craftsmanship.

-Yeah.

-Good heft to it, too.

Not like the plastic ones

you get at Hebrew school.

Yeah, okay.

It's cold out here. Spin it.

Let's see what happens.

Wait.

What if it's like

Richard Donner's Superman?

What?

You know,

when the earthquake hits

and Lois gets stuck

in the San Andreas Fault?

You think

that's gonna work?

-It's worth a try!

-Is it?

You know, right?

Superman: The Movie?

With Christopher Reeve?

-No.

-You like the Henry Cavill one?

You do.

Seriously? I have no idea

what you see in this woman.

-I just met her!

-It's not like that.

Okay. So there's a sequence

in the film

where Lois--

...Superman's lady friend,

gets k*lled.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Spoiler alerts!

It's a 45-year-old movie.

Relax, okay?

Superman can fly

really, really fast, right?

So he starts flying

around the planet

until it starts

spinning backwards.

He turns back time?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

In the movie,

'cause it's not real.

Did it work?

Yes.

-In the movie, it did.

-Yeah. Let's go.

Yeah. Let's do it.

What's the worst

that could happen?

I don't know.

The house burns down?

Who cares?

It just resets anyway.

Hey.

So, I guess we just wait here,

see what happens?

Where there's a will,

there's a way.

Oh. Speaking of which.

Five bucks

he tries to get her number.

Ten bucks says

she gives it to him.

-Okay.

-All right.

I take cash,

no crypto.

I'm giving it

to you in quarters.

-Mm.

-Yeah.

Wow.

Ah! What an epic night,

huh, guys?

Yeah.

You do realize her number's

not gonna be in your phone

in the morning, right?

-Oh, yeah. That's a good point.

-What is it with you guys?

In an infinite multiverse,

every outcome

happens eventually,

including me

and the hot cousin

making beautiful music

together.

-Wow.

-That's disgusting.

You gonna pick that up?

No. It's just Adam

pocket-dialing me,

like he does every night.

What?

Hold on!

Wait. What?

Can you make out

what he's saying?

Is there noise

in the background?

Sometimes, you can tell a lot.

Guys, guys. I'm sure there is

a perfectly reasonable

explanation

for why he's not home.

Uh, yeah.

He's, uh, not sick.

You sent it to voicemail.

Let's listen to it.

What, we're gonna listen

to a pocket-dial for clues?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

That's exactly

what we're gonna do. Come on.

It's like the worst version

of Sherlock Holmes.

Okay.

He's at a...

fundraiser?

Like an art gallery o--

Wait!

Is that saxophone?

Hold on.

I know what this is.

It's the Rad Reagans.

It's an all-female

1980s cover group.

They only play

one-hit wonders.

You got that

from listening to pocket dial?

My man here

is an '80s-music fanatic.

He puts the R-E-O

in Speedwagon,

if you know what I mean.

-I don't.

-Don't say words like that.

They're playing at a bar

in Tribeca tonight.

We're going there.

You're gonna confront him.

I am not goin' to that bar.

Nope.

Ahoo!

Have a moment!

Excuse me.

Excuse me...

Yeah, just, okay.

Shall we dance?

We're not here to have fun.

We're here on a mission.

Okay. Mission: No Fun.

Yes, Ma'am.

All right.

-You see him?

-Yep.

The one over there,

doing "The Sprinkler".

Oh, nice!

That's my move.

Yeah. Okay. Let's go.

Oh! Wait.

Whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no.

We're not leaving

until you talk to him.

Don't you want to find out

what's going on?

I do.

Yeah. Okay.

-You got this!

-Yeah.

I got this.

Okay.

...You got me to your--

You me to your...

You got me to yourself

Whoo!

Yeah, it's you!

Ah.

Wha-a-a-at?

-Adam.

-Hey. Oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

-Rachel!

-Yeah.

What are you doing here?

Oh, you know,

getting my groove on.

Oh! Bring it back.

-Yeah.

-That's great.

Um, how about you?

I thought you were, uh...

I thought you were sick?

I, uh,

I got a second wind,

and some friends

were meeting up, so...

-Yeah. Of course.

-Hey, yeah.

You don't have

to explain yourself to me.

I know.

You know...

if you didn't want

to meet my parents,

you could've just said so.

Oh. Yeah. Um...

look, can we talk

about that tomorrow?

Tomorrow's

not really an option.

All right.

We're gonna do this now.

Um...

I think you're

a really lovely person--

Shot! Shot! Shot!

Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!

Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!

...And I've really

enjoyed our time together--

I can't hear you!

I don't think

we should--

...See each other anymore!

You're breaking up with me?

Well, I wanted to wait

until after New Year's.

Nobody likes to be alone

over the holidays.

You literally left me alone...

on a holiday!

Look, Rachel,

we are like a pair

of mismatched lab mice

repelled by

each other's pheromones.

That's what

I've been saying.

Right.

Can I call you tomorrow?

...to yourself

Uh-huh.

You know

there's no alcohol in that.

-Right?

-Yep.

You all right?

You want to know

the worst part about all this?

Sure.

I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and

Adam and I will still be dating.

I'm gonna get dumped

every day

for the rest of eternity.

Whew.

Actually, I think

the worst part

is, uh, when

he called you a mouse.

And I did nothing about it!

You just stood there.

Can I have the Roy Rogers.

Yeah. You can take that.

You ordered it.

Want to know how we met?

Sure.

It was the Friday night mixer

at the 92nd Street Y,

and I saw Adam,

and I thought...

"Well, this must be kismet."

I mean, my parents met

at a Jewish singles' event,

and for them,

it was love at first sight.

Another thing?

I do everything for him.

He has this big fancy job

and these big credentials,

but I'm the one

making sure his quinoa milk

is actually gluten-free!

Well, you work

behind the scenes,

-out of the spotlight.

-Yeah.

I do everything for everyone.

What about me? Hmm?

Uh...

What?

What?

Okay.

If I say something,

I don't want you to take it

the wrong way.

All right?

Promise?

No.

Sometimes...

we fill our days

helping others,

but the truth is,

we're avoiding our lives.

No, I'm not avoiding anything.

No. No, not you.

'Course not you.

You're busy helping

your mom with errands.

-Right?

-Yeah.

-Watering your neighbor's lawn?

-Yeah.

Fixing typos for your boss?

Yeah, that's my job.

No, it's the perfect plan.

Really.

'Cause, that way,

you can lie to yourself

that you're fulfilled

in your helpfulness,

and you never actually

have to put yourself out there,

so, bravo!

Okay. You would be

the expert on that, right?

You're speaking

to the art teacher

who never has time for anything

except helping the elderly.

Yeah. Pfft.

Yeah, very impressive.

Adding "the elderly"

to your list of good deeds.

Yeah, it is, because, that way,

I never have to admit

that all I ever really wanted

to do in my life

was be an illustrator

for comics and books.

Yeah, I know.

It's stupid.

Oh, no. Really?

-Yeah, really.

-Oh.

I get it.

No.

Well, aren't we a pair

of avoidant alter kakers?

All right, guys!

Let's go to the next bar!

All right, let's do it. Okay.

Speaking of avoiding things--

-what are you doing?

-Nothing.

-Sit up.

-No.

You're shrinking

from the spotlight again.

This is your chance.

You can tell him how you feel.

Look, maybe this will

stop the loop.

You think I should?

Yes!

You're a writer.

Go give him some words

to remember you by.

Hey!

"Pharaoh of Pheromones"!

Hi, Rachel.

Nope.

-Mm-mm. Nope. I can't do it.

-Okay.

I think we can do better.

Um, maybe, uh...

-you just need to be meaner.

-Yeah.

-Can you do, like, a mean face?

-Yeah.

I don't know what that is,

but I like it.

-Vampire? A bat, maybe?

-Do it.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Are you okay?

No. No, I'm not okay.

I'm more than okay.

I'm a catch, Adam.

A catch, okay?

And if you can't handle...

all of this...

maybe you're not all right.

Because-- Because "this"?

This is done hiding.

Okay, "this"?

This is stepping into the light,

all right?

And frankly, I am downright glad

it's not with you.

Did you get into

the all-you-can-drink

Shirley Temples agai--

-Shh!

Okay, word to the wise,

and I'm telling you this

to be nice.

For somebody that knows

so much about attraction,

you know what's not attractive?

Your feet.

Invest in a pedicure.

Bye.

That was so good.

-Okay, okay?

-Yeah.

I was a little worried

at first, but--

Me too!

-You totally stuck the landing!

-Do you think?

-Yeah.

-I blacked out.

That low-blow--

-What'd I say?

-...With the feet? Yeah.

-Feet? Okay.

Don't worry about that guy.

If he can't see how great

you are, forget him.

Yeah, okay.

I mean, seriously!

You're so smart.

You're funny.

You're beautiful.

You've got this amazing family

who would do anything for you.

Right.

Do you know how many guys

would k*ll for that?

Okay. Uh, be careful,

because first rule

of time-loop movies is,

don't fall in love

with the girl in the loop.

You don't sound confident

about that.

I feel confident about it.

Okay.

See, I thought

I was Andie MacDowell.

You're not Andie MacDowell.

So I'm Bill Murray?

I-- No! I'm Andie MacDowell

and Bill Murray,

and you're the alarm clock.

Can I at least

be the groundhog?

No. I'm the groundhog.

Why would you

get to be the groundhog?

That's thecharacter.

It's five past 12:00.

You made it past midnight.

Do you think that means that--

I-I think that means

this "time loop" theory

was just an excuse

to hang out with me.

Stop!

No. It--

Listen. I'll tell you what.

Why don't we go

our separate ways,

get some sleep,

and if your "magic dreidel"--

-Don't do this.

-...Permits us--

Don't do this!

It's not a "magic--"

well, it is a magic--

Let's get some bagels

and coffee tomorrow.

I love bagels and coffee.

I mean, who doesn't?

That's kind of

why I offered it.

Yeah, that sounds amazing.

Okay.

Is that your angry face?

-No, it's not my angry face.

-Okay.

Okay.

Listen.

I really hope you wake up

and remember me.

Well, I'll tell you what.

If we have to do this

a hundred more times--

Don't say that.

I'm here for it.

Okay.

See you tomorrow.

Good night, Alarm Clock.

Good night, Groundhog.

Seriously? Come on! Argh!

You still don't have

volume six of Paper Girls,

where KJ jumps

to an alt-Y2K?

Uh... Andy?

Oh, it's coming

in the shipment tomorrow.

Okay, well,

I don't need it tomorrow.

I need it today.

I'm done being

in this time loop!

Uh, there is, uh...

something that...

could work.

-What?

-What?

What?

Okay. Have you--

have you tried, uh...

taking a jump to the left?

Uh, no. You might want to take

a step to the right.

To the right? Okay.

And then-- and then you put

your hands on your hips--

Ahem.

...You bring your knees

in tight.

"Time Warp"?

Is this the Time Warp?

-Yeah.

-This a joke?

It is.

Okay, well,

what about Dr. Strange?

Does he deal in time-loop stuff?

Professor X? Anyone?

Uh...

This woman is unbelievable.

You just met her

at a train station,

and she started talking to you?

Yeah!

Apparently, we've done

all these things together,

like, up in her parents' house--

eaten latkes,

played dreidel.

Dude...

she knows things about me.

Like...

things that you don't even know.

It's freaking me out.

-Hey...

-Hey!

So...

uh, Rachel, this, uh--

this boyfriend of yours,

is it-- is it serious?

Mm. Well, he's got

serious commitment issues.

Yeah. We're on track

to break up later this evening,

and then you and I

knock back Shirley Temples.

And then what?

No.

No! it's like we...

go our separate ways.

We go our separate ways.

What were you thinking?

Then I wake up,

and we are at square one.

There must be some angle

we haven't covered yet.

Hey. Uh...

permission to speak?

Granted.

Hey, uh...

you seem like

a really nice person,

so forgive me

for saying this

on Hanukkah of all times,

but if you're stuck

in a time loop,

that means there's something

seriously wrong

with your personality.

-Whoa!

-Tact, man!

Stop. Stop. Please.

Well, I think we can all agree

it's not the boyfriend.

Uh, what do you do for work?

I am an assistant editor

at a publishing house

in the city.

And how's that

working out for you?

Amazing. Yeah.

I love it.

I make other people's dreams

come true all day

and then I get

to restock coffee pods.

Well, your sarcasm suggests

there's something

you'd rather be doing,

something you...

lack the courage to pursue?

All right, buddy.

That's enough.

No, no, no. He's right.

There's a young adult novel

I've been working on forever.

It's about

a group of elixir hunters.

It's always been a dream of mine

to get it published.

What's stopping you?

The usual-- uh,

fear of rejection,

fear of failure,

fear of feedback.

Kind of basic.

Huh.

Well, it's crystal clear.

You just need to learn

to take feedback.

Oh! That's great.

I have some feedback for you--

terrible idea.

Oh.

Well, now you're being

a little harsh.

I think that Andy

has a good idea.

You need some feedback.

Who better to give it to you

than the three of us?

Check us out.

Okay, so you're suggesting

that I give you my manuscript,

and you guys give me notes?

-Yeah.

-Uh, yeah, pretty much.

Yep. We'll tell you

if it's Chewbacca or Jar-Jar.

I don't know what that means.

Oh, um,

work of absolute genius,

or horrible abomination

that has stained hearts, minds,

-and souls.

-Why didn't you say that?

Oh, we are--

-Closed.

-So sorry.

Do you guys make any money?

-No.

-No.

Oh. right.

Well, is it even a twist

at that point?

Well, nobody knows!

You just kind of go for it.

Okay.

And this. Okay. Okay.

Wait. Where are they?

We're caught in a dream

that keeps me awake

All through the night...

It's done.

What's that?

Got to look over it.

Okay.

All right, guys.

...Out on our own

We're lost in this place

What do you think?

Dry, cheesy...

arguably a little stale.

-Cheetos?

-Yeah.

The novel?

The novel's great.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Honestly, I didn't--

probably a little more nuance

to be mined

from the mentor character,

but... a bit 2-D at times.

Okay.

But honestly, everything else

is great, k*ller.

Thank you. Uh, Andy?

Oh, it's good.

Solid read.

Could use a little bit of pacing

in act one, but...

"Pacing."

Besides that,

you learned well, young Padawan.

Thank you.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

Is this boring?

No witty comments?

No remark? Nothing?

I love it.

Stop.

It's inspiring.

That's it?

-Nothin' else?

-Nope.

Too busy doodling?

What are you drawing?

-No, it's just--

-Let me see.

-Ooh, wow!

-Hmm.

She's a looker!

I'm not attracted to cartoons,

though, for the record.

She's beautiful.

It's just the heroine

to your story.

Oh.

Oh, it's Rachel!

Dude.

Oh.

This is how you see me?

Oh, would you look at that?

It is time to light

some Hanukkah candles.

Right.

Yeah.

-Right.

-Hanukkah. Almost forgot.

Yes.

-Hey, man--

-Subtlety.

That's my bad.

I'm-- I'm very sorry.

Oh. That one's heart-shaped.

Oh. I guess so.

I could be wrong,

but is someone a touch smitten?

Hmm?

Smitten?

Mom? Mom, it's the latkes,

it's--

Hey, girl!

We have to talk.

I am 20 pages

into this novel you're writing,

and I'm hooked!

Are you writing again?

-That is terrific!

-Where did you get these?

Oh, Grandma's friend, Zach.

Have you met Zach?

Oh, he's a peach.

But, of course,

I cannot represent you myself--

Um, no.

He-e-ey!

You hungry?

This spread is legit.

Your family's-- wow!

Why did you give Cynthia

my pages?

Who cares? You're one step

closer to getting published.

My God, don't you get it?

This is never

gonna get published,

because this day is gonna

keep repeating forever!

What?

Well, it wouldn't be

the Festival of Lights

without a few fireworks, right?

Hi. You, uh...

seem quite upset.

Do you feel like talking?

Come on, out with it.

I feel like I'm stuck

in this massive...

rut--

a rut I didn't even know

I was in,

and no matter how hard I try,

I can't seem to move forward.

You ever felt like that?

Um...

Tch. The night I met your mom...

...I wasn't supposed

to be at that dance.

Your Uncle Harvey,

he dragged me there.

Why don't I...

why don't I know

this part of the story?

Because it involved

another woman.

What? No!

Mm-mm.

Yeah, I was involved

in a long-term relationship,

and I was not

the one who wanted out.

So you got dumped?

-Mm-hmm.

-Oh...

Right before Halloween,

and by the time

Hanukkah rolled around...

I mean, I-- I'd just

sworn off love completely.

I mean, there was just no way

that I was gonna let

my feelings get hurt

like that again,

so I guess...

...you know, I guess

you could say

that I was stuck in a rut.

Mm.

And had it not been

for Uncle Harvey

pushing me out

of my comfort zone--

You never would have met Mom.

Maybe it's time for you

to step outside

your comfort zone.

I get it. Yeah.

Hi.

You okay?

It's just

a small case of jetlag.

I flew in from London

this morning,

so my body's still

running on GMT--

that's "Greenwich Mean Time..."

ahem, because I live in London.

I know where you live.

Sorry.

I can't seem to turn it off.

Every time

I come home for Hanukkah,

I feel like I have

to put on this act.

You know, like...

like I need to, um, to prove

to everyone

that my life is so fabulous,

when the truth is...

...it's not.

-It's not?

-It's not.

This may shock you...

but this accent

isn't even real.

You're kidding.

This is how

I actually talk.

-You don't remember?

-Right. Because, um--

and I didn't and then you talked

and I'm, like, "Right."

My colleagues don't trust me,

and I haven't made a single

new friend since I moved there.

It's godawful!

And this donut

tastes like trash.

I had no idea.

I mean,

you're always so confident.

I mean, you walk into a room

and people notice.

I always admired that.

Sure. I showboat

while you shrink back,

but we're doing the same thing--

trying to avoid rejection,

trying to people-please.

It's exhausting!

You have no idea.

I actually

really miss

the real you.

I miss you, too.

Okay.

-Get over here!

-Okay.

-Okay. Enough about this broad.

-Yes.

What is going on with you?

Uh, well, I'm single. Yeah.

Adam and I broke up.

He is a textbook narcissist.

-Ew. The worst.

-I know.

But there's somebody new.

Mm!

Yeah, there's this guy

I really like,

but I can't seem

to make any progress.

Oh!

All right, all right. Fine.

Spill it, sistah.

Gonna help?

Oh, yeah. Put a donut there.

Oh, that's what I meant.

Thank you so much.

And put a donut right there.

Rachel, do you think

I got a chance

with your cousin?

Uh, well, you're like magnets--

you end up together

in every loop, so.

Really?

She really likes you.

-Huh!

-Yeah.

Cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go circulate!

Stop!

Whatever.

It's not Goldberg's anyways.

Yeah, well, maybe if you quit

running into me

at the train station...

What?

Do you think the donuts

have something to do

with the time loop?

Maybe. I mean, we're in

magic-dreidel territory now,

so, could be.

They're a symbol

of my parents' undying love.

I have an idea.

Trust the process.

We gotta get those donuts

to that party unscathed.

No flattened donuts,

no flattened time.

Obviously, that's the way

out of the time loop.

Oh, obviously.

We're closed!

Well, that could work.

Either that,

or our girl has gotten a little

loopy from all these time loops.

We got to get those donuts out

of the train station unscathed.

Well, we could just

buy more donuts.

"Buy more donuts"?

Why didn't I think of that?

Oh, wait.

I did, and it didn't work, so.

Did you ever get to level 17

of that Vampire Legion game

I loaned you?

The one with

the blood-sucking unicorns and--

-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-...The flame-throwing ferrets?

The one where you think

you're supposed to go

through the brick fireplace

to level up,

but you really need to--

...Bypass the hell-mouth

completely, yes!

You know this game?

Yeah. We beat it a loop ago.

We beat it?

No? Okay.

You're right.

We gotta bypass

the train station,

but how do we get

on the train?

Oh, no-no-no-no. We are

never getting those donuts

to New Jersey on the train.

Well, how do we get

to the party, then?

She's a... a beauty.

Thank you.

I painted the, uh, dragon wings

on the hood myself.

Ah. Okay.

Okay. Here's what we'll do.

When I wake up,

I'll drive over to Hero Worship,

kidnap Seth,

throw him in the van,

and then we'll drive

over to your apartment

and pick you up.

What makes you think

I'm gonna believe you

if you just show up at my house

with a kidnapped Seth?

Oh...

...you'll believe me.

You always believe me.

Yeah.

Don't believe you.

Answer's no.

If you let me explain,

I'll tell you.

Is this what you do?

You just knock

on strangers' doors,

tell them you're

a time traveler?

Seriously?

You don't believe me?

Why aren't you hitting on me?

I gotta catch my train.

Stop!

Hold on.

You like LARPing,

but your passion is...

illustrating for comic books.

How could you possibly

know that?

I also know that you teach

at Cedar Hill Terrace,

which makes you, like,

the most selfless person I know.

You're smart.

You're funny.

You are very optimistic,

no matter how hopeless

the situation gets.

And my grandmother is right--

you have

the most beautiful hands.

Are you hitting on me?

I know

that this sounds strange.

Little bit.

But we are stuck

in a time loop together.

-Oh, we're stuck?

-You and me.

And you said you'd help me

get out of it.

I'm sorry.

I, uh...

Yeah.

Okay.

Look. It's the, um...

The dice!

You have

a vintage dice protector

in your left pocket.

It's two dodecahedron

D&D dice,

a gift from your Zayde Sam--

unbelievably nerdy, but...

they mean

the world to you.

Hi, Seth.

You know Seth?

Yeah. He was super into it.

It's a long story,

but a fun one,

and I will tell it to you,

if you get in the van.

Get in the van, man!

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. That was easy.

How did she rope you

into this?

Look, man,

she's a time traveler

with a singular mission.

I've seen Terminator.

You think I wanna

mess with Skynet?

I don't think

she's a cyborg.

I'm not taking any chances.

Oh!

There's Goldberg's.

Popular place.

Oh, God. I forgot.

Don't look.

-What's that?

-Don't look behind.

Okay.

There's a very nosy lady

in line.

Do not engage with her.

-What are you doing? Stop!

-Oh. Made eye contact.

Okay, but leave me

out of it.

-Chag Sameach.

-Hi.

Looks like somebody

is going to a Hanukkah party!

Yeah!

-Yes.

-This is Rachel. I'm Zach.

-Mildred.

-Mildred? Nice to meet you!

Stop.

We're actually going

to Rachel's parents' house

for a Hanukkah party

tonight. Yeah.

You're meeting them?

For the first time, tonight?

Her parents?

-First time. Yeah.

-He is.

Her Bubbe set us up.

Oh...

and that is my phone.

-So convenient!

-Gotta take that. Bye!

Hey, babe.

Bad news.

I'm not gonna make it tonight.

I'm, uh--

...I'm feeling sick.

Adam, hey.

I'm glad you called.

We need to talk.

Oh, that sounds ominous.

Listen, I know you don't

want to meet my parents.

I get it.

It was way too soon!

I never said that!

Yeah, you don't have

to pretend to be sick

or anything.

Five shiny things...

Deep down, we know we are

not right for each other.

Are you breaking up with me?

I am.

And I gotta run.

Trust me, there are

no hard feelings.

Ahem.

Yeah.

Buddy.

-...Bette Midler.

-Yeah?

-What'd I miss?

-Oh, so much!

I was just telling your beau

I'm often mistaken

for a young Bette Midler.

-Really?

-Striking, honestly. Yeah.

Striking.

That's what I thought too.

And also...

Mildred was telling me

that she's gonna be

lighting the Hanukkah candles

alone tonight.

-With the boyfriend?

-No.

Or girlfriend?

I'm hip to that.

No, I'm sorry,

I only have my kids in Seattle.

Oh! Hop, skip,

and a jump, though.

-Not that close, though.

-Could be, though!

-Mm.

-Ah. We Zoomed the first night,

but, you know,

they have busy lives

and parties of their own to--

...attend.

Right.

But if only there was

a Hanukkah party

we could invite her to,

you know?

-Oh, no. If only!

-Yeah.

-Mm.

-What is that?

Is that a hint

that I just dropped?

-There it is!

-Okay, stop. Thank you.

Is that Rose Landau?

Mildred Tannenbaum?

Talk about kismet!

How do you guys

know each other?

We met Mildred in line

at Goldberg's.

Oh, Mildy and I went to school

together in Newark.

What a mitzvah--

your Rachel inviting me

to the party tonight!

Ah, she's a good one.

Let's all keep that in mind.

-Oh. Sorry.

-Sorry.

-No. No.

-My bad.

The donuts are okay.

That's what matters.

That's the important thing.

Yeah. Yes.

Seems to be going pretty well.

-I think so.

-Yeah.

I think we make a good team.

Yeah. A really good team.

I don't know how

to thank you.

Well, I could--

-Was that the first time--

-Yeah.

Can you save it

for a bigger van?

All right.

You, uh--

You go.

Make sure these donuts

arrive in one piece.

Okay.

We'll meet you inside.

-Okay.

-All right.

Got your stuff here.

Seth Rubenstein

cannot play tennis!

-Yes, he can, Stan.

-He has one--

Oh!

There she is!

My publishing/editor baby.

Dad.

Look who showed up

to surprise you.

Happy Hanukkah.

Yeah.

Adam, what are you doing here?

After this morning,

it occurred to me

that I have been

so focused on work

that I haven't been

paying attention

to what's really important.

I never go to--

-Adam--

-...The archery range anymore.

And don't get even

get me started on the sub-par--

-Okay. Adam--

-...Espresso machine

-at the faculty club.

-Adam.

I have been taking you

for granted, too.

Hearing you this morning--

you're so decisive,

so assured.

It's like

you're a brand-new woman.

Okay. Adam. Adam! I meant

what I said this morning.

All right. Just let me stay

for the candle-lighting.

I came all this way.

Okay. Just...

we're still broken up!

Hi.

Oh!

Ah! Happy Hanukkah, everyone!

I can take your coats.

Everything work out okay

with the sufganiyot?

Yeah. Can we talk for a second?

-Okay.

-Yeah. Just...

Hi! You must be Rose.

It's such a pleasure

to meet you.

I'm Adam,

Rachel's boyfriend.

Not.

And you are?

I'm Zach... Rubin.

Rosie's driver.

Oh, that's wonderful.

I'm always looking for

a reliable car service

to the airport.

Do you have a card?

Not on me.

You know,

I left my nebulizer

in the van!

Would you be a dear,

and go get it for me?

-Would love to.

-Thank you, darling.

Oh. Uh...

This...

is Mildred Tannenbaum.

And I'm sure

she would love it

if you would share

your groundbreaking research

on hamster lice.

I would?

I would!

A Manischewitz

for the lady?

What do I do?

Go after him!

-Go!

-This is it!

Go!

This is it! Yes, yes!

Zach! Zach, can we talk?

You're in a relationship.

I get it.

No, no. We broke up.

That was the phone call

I took at Goldberg's.

Okay, so what does

that make me?

Your time-loop rebound?

No! We've broken up,

like-like, four times.

We even did it together

on the third loop.

I'm very ready to move on.

-Oh.

-Wish you could remember it.

Yeah, well, I don't,

and from where I'm standing,

it kind of feels like

you're using me

to make your boyfriend jealous.

No. I would never do that.

I mean,

he's never done that before.

Well, maybe that's a sign.

Maybe...

Maybe you two

are meant to be together.

How could you say that?

After everything

we've been through?

Look, that's just it--

in your mind,

we've been on

this epic journey together,

but for me,

I'm on day one here.

Okay?

And I can't seem to catch up.

Let me explain.

No. It's--

it's been a really long day,

so...

I'm gonna go inside.

Zach?

Oh... my... gosh!

Rachel!

Uh... gosh.

-"Gosh" is what I said.

-Okay.

I just finished the first

20 pages of your book,

and it is incredible!

-It is?

-100%!

And I'm-I'm so honored

that you asked me to read it.

Okay. Uh...

Are you writing a novel?

Yeah. It's a new thing

I'm trying--

No. Oh, please.

No! The stories that this lady

would tell us as children

are what inspired me

to get into publishing.

Really?

I didn't know that.

Well--

You're full of surprises today.

Okay, so I can't

represent you myself,

and the UK's a completely

different market,

but I am meeting

with some publishers

while I'm in town,

for some drinks,

and I would just love

to chat you up--

if that's all right with you.

Yes!

Yes. Yes!

That'd be wicked awesome.

Excuse me.

Emergency. Josh!

Oy. She's a handful.

I can see why she gets

under your skin.

You know what?

I'm gonna step into my light.

It's time for you to go.

Uh, can I have

everybody's attention, please?

Whoo!

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Well, thank you for that.

Um...

I just want to thank

everybody

for being here

to help Joanna and me celebrate

our 36th anniversary--

Whoo!

...Of the first night we met.

That Adam

is so full of himself.

Rosie--

Now get in there

and fight for her!

It's out of my hands.

You think I brought you in here

so you could stuff yourself

full of latkes?

18 is a lucky number...

My granddaughter needs saving.

She's a damsel in distress!

I think that's a bit of

an outdated paradigm.

Oh, for heaven's sake!

You need to start

living your life.

It's what your grandfather

would have wanted.

Not pullin' any punches

tonight, are we?

True love

is so difficult to come by.

Yeah.

Shoshana...

we're so happy

you found it with Bex.

And who knows?

Maybe this is the year

that Rachel finds her soul mate.

Seems like

she already found him.

...Shel Hanukkah.

And this is for you, Bex.

Oh? Oh, thank you.

Yeah, uh, it's for

your seventh night party

next year.

Mom and Dad's

are getting a little old.

Oh. So I guess

they told you, then?

Uh...

not in so many words.

Your house is so much bigger

than their condo,

so, no-brainer.

This is gonna be

a tough act to follow.

No. Are you kidding?

It's gonna be amazing.

I'm gonna help you--

start with the donuts.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Oh. Thanks, Rach.

So can I keep

a box at your house?

-Rachel?

-Like a shoe box?

Guess again.

Come with me.

I want to give you something.

Go on. Open it.

That dreidel has been

in our family

for generations,

and from watching you tonight,

I can tell that you've been

making good use of it.

Are you saying what

I think you're saying?

What?

That you shouldn't eat

day-old gefilte--

No, Grandma.

The-- The dreidel.

It brings light into the lives

of those who spin it.

Mm-hmm.

There's no more to say

than that?

I think there might be

something else to say.

It's not for me to say.

Okay, but the fact

that you're even

sort of saying anything

is a good sign, right?

Listen, I...

I don't want to be ungrateful,

but the time loop stops, right?

Spin... the dreidel, dear.

Find out.

Time to ante up!

-I got it.

-Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin!

Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin...

Ah! You landed on gimmel!

Wow! Winner.

Talk about beginner's luck.

You won it all!

Okay, come on.

Don't be...

Hey, buddy.

Hey. Yeah.

Just grabbing my jacket.

Find me later?

You better believe I will.

What an amazing day, huh?

Yeah. I'm gonna

call you tomorrow, okay?

What? Hey!

You can't leave, man.

Rachel made it

past the dreidel game

without the house

burning down.

She leveled up, man!

Maybe because her boyfriend

finally made it to the party.

We don't know that!

It could've been the donuts.

Look, some things

aren't meant to be, all right?

I think this one

might be doomed to fail.

You know who else

was doomed to fail?

Who?

The Maccabees.

I know. I went to Hebrew

school. What's your point?

Miracles do happen.

And when you find

someone that you connect with

like that, right away?

That's nothing short

of miraculous.

Come on, man.

Don't leave before the miracle!

Make good choices.

You know that I won't!

Yes! Yes!

Okay! Yahoo!

Okay. Yes.

Wow.

Well, glad to see

you're finally up.

I am so happy to be here!

Oh. Me too!

But your mom is intent on

boxing up the kitchen

before I drop you off

at Cedar Hill Terrace, so,

maybe you want to get dressed?

There's a holiday art exhibit

luncheon today--

it's today!

Yeah. Your grandma's

excited to see you,

but not in your pajamas,

so come on, get dressed.

Okay. Dad, don't! Stop!

Don't spin that.

No, no, no, no, no.

It only trips a time loop

if you spin it

on the seventh night

in the presence of soul mates.

You know about the dreidel?

Of course I do.

Didn't you hear

what Grandma Rosie said?

It's been in our family

for generations.

It's like our own personal

rite of passage, Rach.

You loop for seven nights

and, after that,

true soul mates connect.

You've...

spun the dreidel?

Tanta Sophie gave me it to me

the night I met your mother.

Rachel, lookit.

I mean, "Dr. Dreidel"?

-I needed the help.

-No, no, no, no.

You met

and it was love at first sight.

Absolutely not!

Are you kidding?

I mean, it was so far from--

I, yeah, I needed

a full seven loops,

and, I mean, you should've

seen the journey

that Shoshana and Bex went on

when Shosh spun it.

I mean--

Wait. Shoshana

spun the dreidel?

So everyone in the family

has spun the dreidel?

Yeah. True love was f--

Okay. I know, I know.

I understand

that this is a lot.

This is--

Are you--

you gonna throw up?

No. I...

if it takes seven loops

to find your soul mate,

that means Zach and I

weren't meant to be.

He left, Dad.

Rachel, how many days

are there in Hanukkah?

Eight.

Right.

This only

takes you so far.

It can give you a few pitches,

but you've got to give it a hit.

Create your own miracle.

Is that a baseball reference?

That's a-- yeah, it's a base--

All right.

Sorry.

He's really mad.

So what?

I don't know anybody

who said this was easy.

It's love!

It's messy. It's...

We just need

to come up with a good plan.

Okay.

Okay.

For courage!

-Oh, yeah.

-Drink up.

Okay.

Mm.

Oh.

I just saw Zach

a few minutes ago,

going into the back room.

No matter what goes on

between you two in there...

...I'm proud of you.

For potentially

making a fool out of myself?

Well, for

putting yourself out there,

and not just romantically.

Your mother tells me

you started writing again.

Oh. This lady needs

to lay off the group chats.

Well, she's proud of you.

We all are!

Yeah.

I was a child when my parents

first came to this country.

For such a long time,

we were just focused

on survival.

We couldn't take the risk

of letting

our true selves shine!

But that does not

have to be your story.

Here's to the chutzpah...

of showing the world

what you got.

Yeah. Well, if I am that way,

it's because of you.

I'll drink to that!

L'chaim.

Like fruit-flavored gasoline.

Oh.

I have the dreidel back

for you.

In due course.

In the meanwhile...

protect it.

What do you mean?

Uh, do you need some help?

No. I think I can handle it.

Okay, great. Um...

well...

I, uh...

made you a Hanukkah gift.

It's...

You made me a mix tape?

Yeah.

It's, like,

'80s power ballads, mostly.

There's some REO Speedwagon,

I know you like that.

Did you travel back

to the 1980s to make this?

No.

Ahem.

I'm sorry about Adam.

He's a jerk,

but I should have

told you about...

all of that

before the kiss.

Yeah. Just to be clear,

it's not the kiss

that I had a problem with.

I know that this is scary,

and that you don't remember

a lot of it,

but it is special,

and worth showing up for.

Come on.

Say something, please.

Look, I can't deny it.

I've never felt

like this before.

I really like you. I do.

But we just met yesterday,

and you clearly have

so much going on.

I just--

I'm sorry, I need

to protect myself, you know?

Protect yourself?

-Yeah.

-You need to protect yourself.

Right. Um...

Okay. Hold on...

Where are you?

Dice.

Your dice case.

You said

that this is vintage, right?

-Well, it's more antique, but--

-Give me your hand.

-Okay.

-Okay.

It's not meant to protect these.

It's meant...

...to protect this.

-Hey...

-Hey!

The future...

...Is open wide

I'll stop the world

and melt with you

Let's stop the world

You've seen the difference

And it's getting better...

-We really did all of that?

-Yeah!

...There's nothing

you and I won't do

Let's stop the world

I'll stop the world

and melt with you

You gotta admit,

this is one heck

of an origin story.

Yeah!

Oh, don't stop on our account!

Well, you know

what this means, right?

-I do not.

-You're Bill Murray.

I'm Andie MacDowell.

Oh. Am I?

Okay, I will let you

be Andie MacDowell

as a Hanukkah gift.

-Oh, thank you.

-One Hanukkah gift.

Oh, that's so nice of you.

Oh, yes! Thank you.

-What?

-Don't even think about it.

...I'll stop the world

and melt with you

Let's stop the world

You've seen the difference

And it's getting better

all the time

There's nothing you and I

won't do

Let's stop the world

I'll stop the world

and melt with you

Hmm hmm hmm

Hmm hmm hmm hmm...

Hmm hmm hmm
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