01x08 - Down and Dirty

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪ ♪

You spoke to Fernando, right?

He still has it.

Hasn't it made you uncomfortable?

What happened here?

Well, she stole a pair of jeans.

[WHITNEY] Crimes like this,
they're not hurting anyone.

If someone takes an item from the store,

charge my credit card,
and then it's not stealing.

[WHITNEY]
Amazing Architecture tagged me.

Now I'm getting all these comments,

and they're saying
I'm ripping off Doug Aitkin.

Who cares? He an artist, and you're not.

My homes are art.

[SCREAMS]

Why did you do that?

I came here today
to ask you to be a consultant

for this show.

And this is for $20,000?

[WHITNEY] I don't want
to force you into anything.

I saw you have a hoop outside.
Let's play.

Yeah, I guess I'm free.

I'm gonna go get it, okay?

I was cursed. There's no other
way to explain what happened

with my wife.

Thank you, by the way,
for never inviting me,

not even once, for your Shabbat dinner.

Remember, I'm Jewish.

[WHITNEY] When you said
that you witnessed this,

I didn't realize
that you were part of it.

I was trying to get him to remove her.

You wouldn't do anything good
if I didn't force you to.

You guys are strong, right?
You're gonna survive.

Right?

Next question.

[DRIVER] I've heard the same
story like, three f*cking times.

Y'all are gonna go, "Oh, we're done."

"He's being mean." And then guess what?

Y'all are gonna get back together.

And then one of you is gonna
sleep with someone else,

and you're gonna break up again.

Yeah.

[DRIVER] Why don't you just accept that?

No, because I already did.

I already slept with Kelsey.

I f*cked John.

- No.
- Yeah, I did.

No, he told me you didn't.

- Guys, guys, guys...
- Because he's your friend.

No, he doesn't lie to me.

No, John doesn't lie to me.

♪ hip-hop music plays ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

- This the place?
- Yeah.

My brother was here a couple days ago.

- And you're sure about this?
- Yes, I'm sure. Positive.

What, are you gonna chicken out now?

Don't act like you weren't
scared an hour ago, p*ssy.

For real, though.
They won't do anything.

My brother took three pairs
and sold them online.

- It's legit.
- Well, let's do this, then.

- Maybe we go in waves?
- It doesn't matter.

Let's just go in.

[DRIVER] Like a promotion or something?

- [GIRL] I don't know.
- [BOY] Shut up.

Damn.

[DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN]

This place is sick.

Welcome in.

That's what's up.

Are you Indian?

Native, but yeah.

What are you doing tonight?

Having dinner with my roommate.

Oh, can I come?

What grade are you in?

So you can just do that?

Yeah. I don't give a sh*t.

[BOY] Is it like a promo or something?

The landlord is putting it
all on her credit card.

She's rich, I guess.

I wish I was rich.

Me, too.

You're not?

Not me. My parents are, though.

- That's a pretty nice chain.
- Thank you.

Do you take any for yourself?

Not yet.

I was maybe gonna ask my sister

or someone to get one for me,

but it's kind of weird,
because I work here.

Makes sense. What size are you?

I'm pretty thick.

Hell, yeah. I mess with thick girls.

That'll work out. How many is that?

Uh, five.

Say what, give me your number,

because I'm for real about dinner.

Well, I live with my friend
and her parents,

so you can't come to dinner.

But I'll give you my number.

Maybe we could do Cliffs?

I'd be down.

I mean, do you want these jeans or not?

I don't know.

I just want to see you, too.

Me, too.

Wait, how many jeans are those?

- Six?
- [ENOLA] Okay.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[RINGS BELL]

Fernando, hi.

Hi, is everything okay?

I thought you guys were here
to clean sh*t up.

[WHITNEY] We are.

We are. I'm sorry...

[ASHER] What is this referring to?

The thieves. The whole jeans sh*t.

Okay, Fernando,

why don't you just come in
and we can explain all of that?

- Just the three of us.
- I don't need this.

You guys are trying to get me
in trouble or something.

No, no. Please, please,
just come in and we can talk.

Just you. Just him. Just him.

Please, Fernando. Please.

Please? Okay, great.
Thank you, thank you. Okay.

Hey, Lily. Lily, hi.

Could you start
with our bedroom first, please?

Okay, Fernando.

This situation
was all about de-escalation,

and I can see now that
that has gotten out of hand.

And it needs to be stopped.

And we are so grateful
for your stewardship.

But showing up at our house with g*ns,

is that really the way
that we want to handle problems?

It works, doesn't it?

It doesn't.

It's inappropriate.

Don't tell me what the f*ck
is inappropriate.

- Hey!
- Listen. Shut up and listen.

Buddy...

I'm gonna handle my business

however the f*ck I want to
handle that sh*t.

- [ASHER] Quit it, okay?
- Or what?

Or what? There's gonna be consequences.

- Take your hand from your g*n.
- I ain't afraid of consequences.

I'm tired of these f*cking gangbangers,

thieves coming to steal.

You know what the f*ck that is?

That's cancer,
and you guys brought that sh*t.

It's a petty misdemeanor, Fernando.

It's hurting no one. Who is it hurting?

[LAUGHS]

Can I use your bathroom?

- [ASHER] No.
- [WHITNEY] No.

Why are you with these men, Fernando?

These men? These men
are my f*cking brothers.

Hey, you can use our bathroom, okay?

[DOOR CLOSES]

I was ready to take a b*llet for you.

What are you talking about?

They weren't gonna f*cking do anything.

- Shh! Shh!
- They're cowards.

[SIGHS]

How much have we been charged
total for those jeans?

Roughly $14,000-ish.

I know, I know that it's too mu...

I know that we need to put a stop to it.

I understand. I just expected
more from people.

You know?

[SIGHS]

Maybe this is all happening
for a reason.

What does that mean?

- I don't know.
- You know what?

I think we should
just tell Dougie to sh**t

whatever he needs to sh**t
in the stores,

and then we just...
We starting charging them rent.

That's what we'll do.

If we charge them rent,
they're gonna leave.

They'll shut down.
They're not having customers...

We need to get this show on the air.

We need to get this show on the air,

and then it'll grow organically
from there, okay?

But what about Fernando?
I mean, we promised him a job.

Oh, my God, I'm not thinking
about that right now.

But his mom and everything.

His mom?

[MOCK SOBBING]

Oh, Ashy.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Oh, wow.

Nice to meet you. Who's this?

Who's this?

You care about people so much.

You're such an angel.

[GASPS]

[IN DEEP VOICE] Good!

You'd better quit it, mister!

There'll be consequences! Oh!

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

Hey, you're good with me for the day?

- Yeah, yeah.
- You don't need anything?

No, no, it's probably better
you're gone anyway.

I'm gonna go pretty hard, so...

[SIGHS]

You're sending a camera
with me tonight, though?

- Oh, for Cara? Yeah, sure.
- All right.

You're sure you don't want
to come to that?

Yeah, I'm good.

Okay.

- All right, good luck.
- All right, thank you.

See you.

Ash-man! Hey, that's good. Don't
make him look too good. Alright?

Where's that photo?

- Oh.
- Thank you.

How are you feeling?

- Good.
- [DOUGIE] Yeah?

All right, we got a lot to cover,
so I hope you're ready.

It's gonna be a little marathon.

- [WOMAN] Is that good?
- [DOUGIE] That's great.

Yeah. So I'm excited.

All right! So let's clear the frame.

- Let's do it.
- [DOUGIE] Let's roll everything.

So, I've been looking
through the footage,

you know, as we're putting
a cut together.

And, uh, you and Whit
are, like, the perfect couple.

Fairy-tale romance, you know?

You just feel it. It's really...
It's really beautiful.

And I got to ask...

What do you love most about Whitney?

Well, where do I even start? I mean...

She's... kind.

Thoughtful. Intelligent.

She's the most selfless person
I've ever met.

Uh...

just everything she does is so...

true and pure.

It's like she has a connection
with the universe or something.

Uh...

she just knows.

And I feel lucky

to stand in her shadow.

So, would you say
she's a better person than you?

Yeah.

Yeah, definitely.

Could you say that back to me
as a sentence?

She's a better person than me.

Who's "she"?

Whitney is a better person than me.

That's great. That's great.

Um...

so...

let's say...

what would your life be like
without her?

You know, upside-down, like crazy.

Crazy world, you know?

Alternate universe,
if she left you or something.

I'd have nothing.

♪ ♪ ♪

So, um, Asher.

Why don't we talk about the
speakers in the houses. Right?

"The Asher Special," I like to call it.

Yeah. I mean, um...

Well, they're bezel-less,

so they're completely flush
with the ceilings or the floors.

And, um, you can paint over
them and, you know,

that doesn't affect the sound
whatsoever.

Yeah. We're talking good sound, right?

You're fully submerged in sound, yeah.

I love that. I'm liking this house.

How many speakers are we talking?



Plus a subwoofer.



There are 11 speakers,
plus a subwoofer in this house.

Say it more proud.

There are 11 speakers,
plus a subwoofer in this house.

[WHITNEY, OVER PHONE]
This militia comes to my door

with g*ns.

- g*ns?
- Yes.

- Whoa.
- And why?

Because of my activism in the community.

That is so crazy.

They're out of green chili.
That's a first.

Wait, where are you right now?

Uh, I'm at, uh, Cochinita Grande.

I'm literally two blocks from you.

I'll just come by. I love that place.

I'm starving.

Okay. I'm with a friend.

Great. Okay, see you in a sec.

Okay, see you in a sec.

See you in a sec? Was that her?

Mm-hmm.

I'm excited to meet her.

Maybe she'll want to pay me, too,

for some of my wisdom,

- don't you think?
- Stop.

[LAUGHS]

When the owl does his last hoo-hoo

and the cow does his last moo-moo,

that's when a dove
does his last quack-quack.

- [NATIVISTIC CHANTING]
- [BOTH LAUGH]

Do not do that voice when she's here.

[BRETT] Is she gonna
have lunch with us, too?

I thought it was just
gonna be the two of us.

- It'll be quick. Be nice.
- [BRETT] All right.

I'm always nice.
What are you talking about?

Hi!

[LAUGHS]

Oh, let me go order.

[CARA] Oh, have some tacos.

I have, like, so much.

- You sure?
- Yeah, help yourself.

- I have a lot.
- Thank you. I'll Venmo you.

- This is Brett.
- Hi, Brett.

Oh, wait. What I was telling you.

Okay, so these guys come with g*ns

because they're upset

at what is basically an urban art piece

that's making a statement
on prosecuting petty theft.

I've been working
with Iosheka Jeans, you know?

- Mm-hmm.
- And, um,

they were calling the cops
on people for stealing jeans.

And I was like,
"We are not doing that anymore."

- Laws make criminals.
- Right.

And we need to really
decide who we allow

to make those laws.

- Yeah.
- You know?

Yeah, totally.

I give thanks for this burrito
that I'm about to consume.

You fought the good fight
to be where you are today,

here on this plate.

May your spirit be free
as I eat your delicious body.

Rest now, and join your brothers
and sisters in the next life.

Aho.

That was weird.

Uh, I talked to Vivi,
and he's very cool with cameras.

And are you okay with it?

Yeah. I don't have to act, right?

[WHITNEY] No, nobody has to do anything.

It's just really to get footage
of my real life.

You know, just hanging out.

Because there's basically
no footage for the show

of my real life outside of Asher.

I have one.

and I just want to share that. You know?

What is this gathering?

Uh, it's this collector.

They're having a little get-together.
Marjorie wanted me to go.

Sometimes you have to put in face time

with people you don't like,
because they might buy your art.

[LAUGHS]

Oh.

You know, you are more
than welcome to come

if you'd like to.

I mean, if you're comfortable
with that sort of thing.

[CARA] No, no, no, no.
It's... It's good.

He hates this kind of thing.

But hate is a passion
that often resembles love.

That's beautiful.

I will come.

- Great.
- Great.

[DOUGIE] So, if you're
tiling the bathroom

and you have to get around
a pipe, what do you do?

You cut it.

[DOUGIE] With what?

A saw.

[DOUGIE] What kind of saw?

Diamond.

Close, but, uh...

- It's not? What type of saw?
- [DOUGIE] No.

Pretty sure it's a wet saw. But, uh...

But you don't need
to know that stuff, right?

You have other people
who do that stuff for you.

Like Freckle.

I mean, I oversee him.

Yeah, but you don't get down and dirty.

You hire people for that.

I have employees who do contract work.

Can you say,

"I hire people to get
down and dirty" for me

in a sentence?

[SIGHS]

Can we take a break? I'm exhausted.

Just say, "I hire people
to get down and dirty for me."

It'll be dynamic. It'll be good.

How much longer
do we have to go, Dougie?

Fine, fine. Let's go back.
Let's go back to you and Whit.

Fairy-tale romance, right?

Came out of nowhere.

Met in Santa Fe?

Mm-hmm.

- Yes.
- And, uh,

you're not from here, right?

So, what brought you down here?

Well, I got... I was doing...

I got a job doing contract work
for a local casino.

But you were...

You were here before that job, right?

Yeah.

And, um, what brought
you down here to start with?

A prior relationship.

And, uh, what happened with that?

Nothing happened. It ended.

And, uh, how'd it end?

What does this have to do with the show?

Well, I just figure, like,
if she never left you, right,

you'd never have met Whitney

and none of this would be happening.

So just to give people some context.

I think it'll be really helpful
for people to relate to you,

and you might even be
more attractive in that way.

Because, uh, I know it's tough
when you're in a relationship

and you're more adventurous
than the other person.

So...

People are just different.

Sometimes it's not meant to be.

I get that.

Do you know if she's seeing
anyone else right now, or...?

I do not.

Does the idea of her seeing
someone else excite you at all?

Because I know that's kind of
what you wanted all along. Right?

You want to talk to me about
how you might ask a girlfriend

to have sex with another man
while you watched?

Because I imagine that'd be

a pretty delicate thing
to bring up, right?

Well, I'm never telling you
anything again.

It's all right, everybody.

Just kidding. Just kidding.

Just messing around
with Asher over here.

He doesn't really like
to do that kind of stuff.

Right?

[SCOFFS]

- Right?
- f*cking idiot.

You want to talk about the lighting?

Very funny.

Oh. I'll see you later.

Yeah, see you.

- You good?
- What are you...

- [STAMMERS]
- What was that?

No, what did you say?

I said you were about to ask me
what I was doing tonight.

Uh...

maybe.

Buy me some dinner?

Yeah.

Take it easy. Start with dinner,

and then we'll see
where things go, okay?

Just keep an open mind.
We'll see what happens.

Got to load up on these, because...

come Monday I'm going full Atkins.

[CRUNCHING]

Like the diet?

Yup.

Is that thing still around?

Of course it is.

Atkins. You know, the...

The guy d*ed of a heart att*ck,

and everybody blamed his diet.

But they just kind of
change up the name.

Paleo, keto, caveman.

It's all the same.

It's just derivative
of his original idea.

It's the least I could do, you know?

It's like his legacy.

Just the way
you looked at me and was like,

"Oh, Atkins? What?"

It's like, I look at it
and I say, "Yes. Atkins."

You trying to lose weight or something?

Maintain.

You know, like a lifestyle choice.

This is fun. I needed this.

You want to take me to the room,

or do you want to eat first?

- [LAUGHS]
- I mean, for real.

Like, you flew across
the country for this.

And you're, like,
k*lling yourself every day.

And you're here as a friend.

- Hmm.
- And I forget that.

And I, I don't know. I feel like
I've taken that for granted.

I appreciate that.

Six months late, but thank you.

I know.

I mean, my instinct is to say,

oh, I was stressed
about doing all this show stuff

and changing careers or whatever.

But I don't think that's true.

I did not prioritize this friendship.

And that was shitty of me.

I get it. You're sorry. We're good.

Let's order some food, all right?

Remember when I was homesick

and you guys would
include me in your pranks

just to make me feel better?

That's you. That's your instinct.

Can I just get another beer, please?

- [WAITRESS] Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

I just feel like
I could have been better

about reaching out to you
while you've been here.

I've been shitty about it.

[SIGHS] It's so embarrassing.

I just asked for a beer and she's like,

"Oh, yeah, I'll get it right for you."

And then she just turns around
and she's taking an order now.

- Unreal.
- Whatever. Look...

Can I get this beer, please? Thank you.

You're a good friend, okay? For real.

And I'm really happy you're here.

And I'm happy you've been
such a good friend to me, okay?

You're a good friend, too.

All right. You know what? f*ck it.

I'm going to Atkins right now.

Thank you so much.

[CAR DOOR SLAMS]

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ mellow piano music playing ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

Hi, Whitney.

- Hi!
- Hey, great to see you.

- Nice to see you.
- Yeah.

You should try
one of these cookies I made.

Chocolate chip
dusted with a little sea salt.

- Yum.
- Yeah. You know,

I brought them thinking
they'd feed for dessert,

but there's no food here.

Nothing.

You know, you'd think a millionaire

would serve supper to his guests,

but oh, well.

[WHITNEY] Uh, did I b*at Cara here?

No. She's having a discussion with Vivi.

Yeah.

Yeah, I made this plate.

It's one of my favorite plates.
I just love it.

- It's beautiful.
- Let me show you.

Yeah, it was fired in the salt kiln.

So when the salt hits the plate...

[VIVI] Just as long as we're all clear.

Just as long as we're all clear.

Whitney.

- Hello.
- The Whide-ney.

I am ready for my close-up.

[LAUGHING]

Well, they're not here yet,
but hold that smile, okay?

And this place is absolutely beautiful.

Who was the architect?

You're speaking to him right now.

I'm the f*cking architect!

[LAUGHING] Oh! No!

- Wow.
- And a little help

from someone else.

The greatest architect of them all.

Him.

Well, I will have to get His number.

[LAUGHS]

It's, uh, "1-800...

I AM GOD."

[ALL LAUGH]

Does he collect?

Eventually.

- Ah! You have to excuse me.
- [WHITNEY] Of course.

Finally, an artist who smiles
when they see me.

[MARJORIE] Is everything okay?

It'll be fine.

Uh, Marjorie, what is going on?

Well, it's a little stressful now.

We're hoping he buys
at least one piece of art.

Oh, yeah, Cara said
that Vivi's a collector.

Yes, he does buy a lot of art.

He's also, uh, a m*llitary contractor.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- [CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
- But I say,

whenever you dig deep enough in anyone,

you could find some bad things.

Sorry.

Hello?

Mm-hmm. Oh, you're here?

Oh, great. I'll be right out.

So there's nobody here to do sound?

How will we get sound, then?

Dougie just said this is B roll.

I do have this onboard
shotgun mic, though.

But this isn't even our normal camera.

Does that have good audio?

No. Are you gonna be talking?

[SIGHS] Okay.

Um...

Okay, I mean, I guess we could cut

with some confessional from me

that's kind of explaining
my involvement in the art scene.

You wouldn't be able to hear it,
but I think that's fine,

because you know I'm discussing art.

It's kind of better.

Oh, uh,

avoid filming the man
with the long hair.

He's the owner of the house.

I'll point him out when we get in there.

I was paid for two hours.

Okay, we should go. Let's go.

Finna get paid. Finna...

Finna's "gonna."

"I'm gonna tell you how we... Finna..."

But then he talks ready for a caper,

steady plottin' for the paper.

It requires planning. Weeks of planning.

- Wait, what do they do?
- They go to the DMV.

- Right, gets an ID.
- They steal the first name.

They get the ID,
but they steal the mail.

The name says you, but the face is me.

Was the chicken for you?

Uh, I didn't order any chicken.

Uh, it was ordered to this table.

What?

- Oh, f*ck you.
- [LAUGHS]

f*ck you.

You can just put it here.

Oh, your face. Wow. Unbelievable.

[WAITRESS] Can I take these
out of the way?

[DOUGIE] Yes.

So that was you
at the fire station, then?

Come on, look at me.
You think I could hide that?

Jesus. Can we get another round, too?

I'm okay, actually. Just, I'll drive.

You keep going.

Come on. We're good.

I've had five beers in two hours.

I could totally handle another one.

It's okay. I'll drive us home.

I'm okay, thank you.

You know what? Forget it.
You got to relax.

I'm gonna drive. You drink, all right?

Let's get him a beer
and a sh*t of tequila,

and I'll have a Coca-Cola.

- Sounds good.
- Great.

- It's crazy you made that joke.
- [DOUGIE] Hmm.

It was pretty good.

No, just because I just got a text

from the father of the girl
who said the chicken thing.

Really? When?

Like ten minutes ago.

- You're f*cking with me.
- No, no.

- Come on.
- Look at this.

Her smoke detector is...
The battery's dead.

"Smoke detector beeping. Fix."

I don't know. Sent me a video.

I guess I shouldn't have put in
a used battery when I did it.

That was dumb.

You're not actually afraid
of the chicken thing, right?

I mean, didn't you say you...

believe in this kind of stuff?

What are you talking about?

Like, you said that you're...

Um...

My what?

Well, I mean, this guy, Abshir,
he said there might be

like a cultural connection or something.

And even just saying the word "curse,"

you know, he gets really serious, and...

That's pretty generic, though.

[ASHER] I know. I know.

It's just that...

Ever since that girl said that to me,

things have been a little weird.

[DOUGIE] Things are always
a little weird.

[ASHER] Yeah.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oof! All right.
Maybe we'll wrap this up.

My man, can you just, uh,
get that chicken wrapped up?

And then tell the server
the Coca-Cola that I ordered,

just make it a rum and Coke.

but make sure it's served
in the same glass

that you serve
the regular Cokes in, okay?

[WAITRESS] Here's that to-go box.

Oh, thank you.

♪ ♪ ♪

Go over. Go over.

Right there.

♪ ♪ ♪

Come out here.

♪ ♪ ♪

Brett.

[LAUGHS]

Hi.

Oh, it's so good to see you.
How are you?

I love being surrounded
by artists and art.

My people, the first artists
who called this place home.

and viewed art with not only
their eyes, but their souls.

Like a soaring eagle

waiting for people
and Mother Earth to view it.

and it graces us with its wings.

Like the great buffalo

roaming the land.

Enhancing the mind
to view beauty in such a way

that it activates the soul
to believe something more than itself.

The body which has it.

That was so beautiful.

Can I give you a hug?

[LAUGHS]

- Sure.
- Okay.

Oh.

Wow.

It's always so good seeing you.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

♪ ♪ ♪

Marjorie? Hi! [LAUGHS]

It's so nice to see you.
Sorry to interrupt.

How are you?

- Oh, good. Good.
- Oh, good.

Um, and don't worry
about what we're talking about.

Just don't look at the camera.

How is everybody? [LAUGHS]

Oh, great.

So, what do you do?

I work in private security.

Amazing. Amazing.

Can we stop to pick up a 9-volt?

He keeps texting me.
I got to swap it out.

You want to go right now? Come on.

Seriously?

Just, "Fix."

Not even, "Can you fix this, please?"

- [CHUCKLES]
- Just, "Fix."

All right, you can just drop me
there and I'll walk home.

It's close.

You mind reaching
in that glove compartment

and hand me my little gadget?

- This?
- Yeah.

- You sure you're feeling okay?
- [BEEPS]

Feeling great.

I can tell you were
a little uncomfortable,

so I just want to put you
at ease, you know?

I'm so f*cking drunk.

Just kidding, just kidding.

[BREATHALYZER BEEPS]

[BLOWING]

There it is.

[BREATHALYZER BEEPING]

Damn. See that?

Yeah.

.078.

I'm good.

Nice.

That's right.

Love it.

They got rings.

Do you have any 9-volt batteries?

Oh, great. Thank you.

Hey, you wanted the gay p*rn, right?

No, I don't want this.

- Just the battery, please.
- He does this all the time.

Look Ash, I'll buy it for you
if you're embarrassed.

[ASHER] This is a joke.

[DOUGIE] It's not a joke.

You know what? I'll buy it.

You know, I keep telling him,
use the internet,

you know, but he wants the magazine.

- Can I get the battery?
- He loves the hold and feel.

- No...
- I keep telling him...

- Dougie, stop! No!
- Your wife is gonna find them.

- She won't know about the cache.
- [ASHER] That's not true.

I just want the battery.

[DOUGIE] All right.
Do you take Google Pay?

[DOUGIE CHUCKLING]

What goes through your mind when
you see something like this, Ash-man?

Huh?

Look at that.

You know, in a way I actually think

that's, like, way more
problematic than what you have.

I'd much rather have a d*ck like yours.

This is just... so big.

It's like a disability, you know?

Like, a girl would never
have an issue with your size.

But, like, this is...

This is like f*cking abuse, right?

- Will you focus on the road?
- Okay, okay. You're right.

[LAUGHS]

You know what we should do?

Um...

We should get the girl
to do the chicken curse to me.

What?

We have the chicken, right?

When we get to the house,
she can curse me

and then we'll see if it disappears.

- It'll be like, uh...
- No.

No, we're not doing that.

[LAUGHS]

- Come on.
- No.

You've been f*cking stressing
about this for weeks, man.

All right? It's the only way
to get it out of your head.

Show you there's nothing to worry about.

All right? It's foolproof.

Her dad does not want me
talking about curses around her.

It's a great idea, and we're doing it.

And plus, I'm the one who's
gonna be doing the talking.

She's gonna f*cking curse me.

[CHUCKLES]

And then you'll see
that curse is not real, right?

Come on, man. What's the problem?
What are you thinking about?

Nothing.

Oh, yeah?

♪ Dean Street ♪

♪ President ♪

♪ Nostrand Ave ♪

♪ Orange Ave ♪

- ♪ Tee Town ♪
- ♪ Click-clack ♪

[DOUGIE LAUGHS] There we go.

Come on, come on.

♪ Living room, on the floor,
hunger pain ♪

♪ Got me on some migraine
sh*t, I'm gonna maintain ♪

♪ Got 2 or 3 dollars to the name ♪

♪ Homies in the same boat
going through the same thing ♪

♪ Looking for a caper ♪

♪ We living in the dark since April ♪

♪ Candle gotta get a handle ♪

♪ Got an a*t*matic
and he's... [MUMBLES] ♪

[STAMMERS] ♪ ...yellow page ♪

♪ Let me tell you
how we gonna get paid ♪

- Yeah.
- [MUMBLING]

♪ ...gonna stick the 25
up in his face, let's ride ♪

♪ Outside like warriors ♪

♪ Into notorious South Side ♪

♪ ...the four of us in the corridor ♪

♪ Until we see the B-man
with his headlights ♪

♪ White boy in the wrong place
at the right time ♪

♪ His car door opens, he'll be mine ♪

♪ Roll up quick,
stick the p*stol in his nose ♪

♪ By the look on the face
he's sh1tting in his clothes ♪

♪ Know what it is, it's a stickup ♪

♪ Give me the dough from the pickup... ♪

It's a wrong N-word.

♪ Drive blacktop through
the rinds and boxes ♪

♪ Split up and meet
back at the apartment ♪

♪ Hell, yeah ♪

♪ Ain't you hungry, my N-word? ♪

♪ Hell, yeah ♪

♪ Wanna get paid, my N-word? ♪

♪ Hell, yeah ♪

♪ Aren't you tired of
starving, my N-word? ♪

- ♪ Hell, yeah ♪
- ♪ That's right ♪

- ♪ Hell, yeah ♪
- ♪ That's right ♪

Just park in front of his car.

- [DOUGIE] This it?
- [ASHER] Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Thank you for coming so quick.
- Sorry about that.

- Yeah, I got a new one.
- Hey.

Heard so much about you.

- I feel like I know you.
- This is a friend of mine.

He's just gonna help, uh,
me hold the ladder and stuff.

- He's a professional.
- There it is.

All right, Dougie, I'm gonna
get the ladder out back.

Why don't you come with me
to help me carry it in.

Okay.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

No.

I'll do it tomorrow morning.

♪ ♪ ♪

She might be asleep.
Let's just change the battery and leave.

No. We're so close. She's not asleep.

She was sitting there watching TV.

That's the other one.

What's your plan, anyways?

You gonna go into her bedroom?
Come on, Dougie.

- Come on.
- Okay.

♪ mellow music playing ♪

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

You know there's an elevator
in this house.

Really?

Do you work with Vivi?

No, I'm a friend of Eric's.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, Eric, he's a great guy.

How do you know Eric?

I don't know Eric. I was kidding.

[LAUGHS]

You know how I know you don't know Eric?

He's fake. I just made him up.

- Marjorie invited me.
- No, you didn't.

- Mm-hmm.
- There's no Eric?

- Mm-hmm.
- Ugh.

[LAUGHS]

How do you know Marjorie?

I buy her art sometimes, you know.

There's no Eric.

I don't believe you.

You can believe
whatever the f*ck you want.

Doesn't affect me.

You swore.

I didn't think you were allowed to...

I don't know.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

There's lots of things we do
that might surprise you.

Grape.

Excuse me?

Grape.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you, yeah.

So, what else might surprise me?

Should we take a look at that elevator?

Okay.

Thank you.

[WHITNEY LAUGHS]

Only room for two, I guess.

[LAUGHING]

It's...

It was just a bathroom.
It wasn't an elevator.

[LAUGHING]

Should we go outside?

- [WYATT] Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

[DOUGIE] You know, we should, um...

We should probably switch out
all the batteries

in all the smoke detectors,

because when one goes,
they usually all go,

because they went in
around the same time.

Well...

I only have one battery, so...

Well, it's lucky I carry a few
extra 9-volts in my pocket.

Always.

That's a good idea.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

We'll be quick. We can split up.

You can do the ones out here
and I'll do the one in that room.

Well, we wouldn't want
to wake Nala if she's sleeping.

No, she's awake.
She stays up very late, so...

Oh, she doesn't need a lot of sleep?

No.

All right, here.
Let me give you the batteries.

And, um, here, you use the ladder

and I'll grab a chair.

I need you to get out
so they can change the smoke...

[DOUGIE] It's okay.

It's totally fine. Don't worry about it.

I don't want to interrupt
her at all, you know?

- I'll be quick.
- Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm positive.

Oh, wow.

This one's really

a lot more messed up
than I thought that it would be.

I'm gonna need a couple
more minutes with it.

[ASHER] I'm almost done in here.

Need a few more minutes, Ash!

- [CHATTER OVER TV]
- [SMOKE DETECTOR CHIRPS]

I can't really hear the beeps.

Can you turn down the TV a little?

I want to make sure I fix it, so...

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Why do you do that? You can
clearly see I'm watching it.

Because it's time for you
to do your homework.

You said I could do it tomorrow.
I'm doing it tomorrow morning.

Yeah, you know, 99% of the time
it's like a false alarm.

But that 1% that it's right...

It's like "The Boy Who Cried Wolf."

You know that story?

Yeah.

Well, it's about a boy
who curses a wolf, right?

No, it's not.

The version I heard as a kid was, but...

How has this been working out for you?

- Oh, it's been working great.
- Good?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

So, um, my friend,

he tells me you're pretty powerful.

I have a fun idea.

You want to curse me?

Come on, it'll be fun.

♪ ominous music plays ♪

Just say the words
and I'll give you 20 bucks.

Just quick.
You just need to say the words.

There's three of them.

I need this.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I need this, okay?

Please.

[SOBBING] I can't keep doing this.

I can't. Please just say it.

[SHOUTS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[DOUGIE] Hey! It dropped.

It dropped. It fell, it fell.

She got scared.

Um, I got the battery,

but I couldn't get it up in the wall.

Asher, you want to do that?

Yeah, she must have gotten scared.

She was telling me
about the boy who cried wolf.

[ABSHIR] Okay.

[ASHER] We're leaving.

Okay?

We're leaving.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Uh, is everything okay?
Why'd you call me?

He started to cry.

I thought he needed help.

That's it?

You sure?

Don't scare me like that again.

Go to sleep now.

It's still there.

She didn't do it, all right?

I can't believe you made me do that.

f*ck off, all right?

You really think I could make you
do something you don't want to do?

I told you multiple times,
I just wanted to leave.

And yet you pretended
that my Kleenex was a battery.

"I'm almost done in here."

All right? I know you.
That was you in there.

This? Does this get exhausting?

Cosplaying as a good man?

[SCOFFS] Like you're one to talk.

What's that supposed to mean?

I don't know. Ask your wife.

I'm sorry, man.
I didn't mean to say that.

Okay.

[ENGINE REVS]

That was a fun night. Thanks.

It was fun.

Let's just forget
about everything else, okay?

Mm-hmm.

We need more friends than
enemies in this world, right?

You can have the chicken.

Thanks.

- What did you say?
- I said thank you.

[SEAT BELT UNFASTENS]

- What was that?
- That was a fly.

[ASHER SHIFTING]

[CAR DOOR SLAMS]

I curse you.

It is so exciting to see how
far you've come as an artist.

I mean, I remember
back in the early days

when we both started
making work at the same time,

and now to see, you know,
that we're both being recognized

for our sculptures
so far beyond New Mexico.

[LAUGHS] It's just...

You're getting sound on this, right?

- [CLYDE] Yeah.
- You get... Okay.

Don't you think it's like a little weird

that you're not saying anything?

You know, or that I'm just
the only one talking?

Can you say something back to me?

Sure. Like what?

Um, I don't know.

Just, you know,
we're two artists talking.

Like, maybe compliment
my work or something.

[CHUCKLES]

You make really cool homes.

Can you say why they're artistic?

Just from your point of view
as an artist.

Yeah. Um...

The reflections say a lot.

And they're really beautiful.

Thank you.

And then maybe could you just say

why you love having your work
in my home?

You know, just like
how it's a collaboration,

and, you know, it's a function...

You know, it's, um...

How the two pieces
kind of function together?

I'm not really sure
what you want me to say.

Maybe you can just say, um...

My homes are so unique

and, um, so important

as a piece of art.

And you're proud

to have your work displayed inside.

Something like that.

Your homes are so unique

and so important as a piece of art,

and I couldn't be more proud

to have my work displayed inside.

[LAUGHS]

That is so sweet.

That means so much to me.

I mean, but honestly,
I see it as a collaboration

between the two of us, you know?

Because I think we're just...

We're saying such
similar things, you know?

Okay, okay.

I know I've said this
to you a million times,

but I am still so obsessed

with your tee-pee performance

from your last show.

It was just... It was so...

It was just saying so much.

And, um...

I mean, you can tell me.

You've got to tell me.

Were we supposed to eat the turkey?

[LAUGHS]

So the slicing of the meat

is me giving pieces of myself to people,

whether I want to or not.

And as a Native person,

that's basically
what you're doing every day.

Just f*cking slicing off
pieces of yourself.

And it's exhausting.

And whether people choose to...

eat it is totally up to them.

And you eat it.

That is so beautiful.

Clyde, I think we are all good for now.

- [CLYDE] Oh, okay.
- Yeah.

The audio was really good on that one.

Good. Good.

[CLYDE] Uh, sorry. Let's see.

Uh...

Yeah, I got 15 minutes left.

You want me to pick up some inserts?

Oh, no. No inserts.

No. I think we're all good.

Yeah.

Um, I'll see you in a bit.

♪ She's rolling up a lot of bread ♪

♪ To toss away ♪

♪ She's in Santa Fe ♪

♪ Dear, dear, dear, dear,
dear Santa Fe ♪

♪ Now she's opened up an empty home ♪

♪ She's proud but she needs to roam ♪

♪ She'll open up a happy home ♪

♪ She'll open up a happy home
in Santa Fe ♪

♪ Santa Fe ♪

♪ Dear, dear, dear, dear,
dear Santa Fe ♪

♪ Since I'm never gonna cease to roam ♪

♪ I'm never, never far from home ♪

♪ I'm never, ever,
ever long to sail away ♪

♪ So don't feel bad ♪

♪ No, no, no, no, no, don't feel bad ♪

♪ It's the worst that I've ever had ♪

♪ There's a bad band
that hates playing ♪

♪ It's over, but they have the band ♪

♪ She never did appear so bad
when I'm away ♪

♪ Santa Fe ♪

♪ Dear, dear, dear, dear,
dear Santa Fe ♪

♪ My whole heart's in the lane ♪

[CRUNCHING]

♪ Oh, Santa Fe ♪

♪ Dear, dear, dear, dear,
dear Santa Fe ♪

♪ Now a woman never sitting at home ♪

♪ Backing the police unknown ♪

♪ You grovel like a decent stone ♪

♪ She leaves under the road ♪

♪ But she leaves on the pot of gold ♪

♪ In the theater
sitting on her own every day ♪

♪ ♪ ♪