01x05 - Mash Burnedead and the Unpopular Classmate

[bunniefuu]

There are three dorms
in Easton Magic Academy.

Students with corresponding characteristics
are assigned to each dorm.

Adler. Courage and conviction.

Orca. Wisdom and willingness.

Lang. Ability and ambition.

The dorms are rivals with one another.

To visualize their principles and positions,

their friendly rivalry
carries across the entire academy.

This is the Adler dorm,
where Mash and Finn reside.

In their room, Room 302...

So, five silver coins make one gold coin?

That's five minus two. Let's see...

Just 28 left.

Five minus two is three.

It's a trick question?

No, there's no tricks about this!

So I'm a meathead?

You got that right, but...

In any case, it's so peaceful today
with nothing going on.

It sure is...

No, there is something!
Our assignment!

Oh. Really?

Crap, crap, I forgot about it!

If we don't submit our Potions assignment,

we'll be severely marked down
and we'll be in the drop-out range!

Want one?

This isn't the time for snacks!

Sorry.

I have to do it! I have to do it!
I have to do my Potions assignment!

You still haven't done it yet?

Lance.

Oh, it's the lolicon.

That's siscon to you.

Loitering around doing nothing...

You two are the dictionary definition
of slackers.

Wait, Lance. Did you finish already?

Of course.
I'm a lot more conscious than you are.

I should've expected that
from the top student in our class.

Lance is simply flawless.

Guys like you
might ruin the dorm's reputation.

Have some shame.

He flew backwards by himself?

O, my precious!

Foisting thy fair light
upon my feeble eyes unwarn’d!

‘Tis my fate to succumb
to thy infinite warmth.

I love you!

You use these for the Potions assignment.

What was with that
dramatic display just now?

A mandragora.

Silence their screams and they become
a universal ingredient in potions.

Oh, another thing that uses magic.

"Another"? You know
this is magic school, right?

I'll show you how it's done.

Quientus.

You try.

Quientus.

Quientus!

I can't do it. It won't stop screaming.

Finn.

Your center of gravity is unstable.
Your core muscles are quite weak.

Huh? Core muscles?

Quientus.

I think it's gotten worse?
Its pupils are dilated, too.

Finn, focus your magic
on a single point.

Oh, okay.

Listen up, Finn.

Visualize gently caressing it
as you release the magic.

O-Okay.

Quientus.

Slowly. That's it.

I did it! I did it, Lance!

Even slackers like you
should be able to do this much.

Thanks!

Maybe Lance is really good
at taking care of others.

Oh, yeah. How is Mash doing?

That plant's flipped out! It's so huge!

I did it.

Did you really, though?

Once they're asleep,
they turn into a regular herb.

Now we create a compound.

Compounding is comparatively simple.
Watch closely.

Take this, and first do this.

Then do this.

And do this.

And with this...

It's done.

That's not easy at all!

Got it.

You've got to be lying!

No, really.

Trust me, as long as it's not magic.

First, take this, and then...

Do this...

Then this... And it's done.

That's totally not it!

How did that end up as a cream puff?

You're screwing around, aren't you?

I'm not screwing around.

You start like this.

'Kay.

Then you add this.

'Kay.

Stir well.

'Kay.

Add this last.

'Kay.

Okay.

BA-YUMMY

Why is this!?

I watched him from start to finish.

When did it become a cream puff!?

You’re completely useless
when not fighting, huh?

Well, yeah.

Why is he so confident?

Oh well. Let me warn you.

I won't lose to you ever again.

There's a reason
I need to join the Bureau of Magic.

And that is?

It's none of your business.

But you equaled me,
if not more, in combat.

I will not allow some nobody
to take your coins away from you.

You don't have to warn me,
because it won't happen.

Quick with the comebacks.

Let's try this again.

'Kay.

The all-dorm off-campus class
is coming up soon.

I wonder if he'll be all right.

And then, that was when...

No way. Are you serious?

And what happened after that?

That's when...

Hey, you bumped into me
just now, didn't you?

Don't be walkin' into people's faces!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What am I supposed to do
if I'm not walkin' into people's faces?

Side characters have no right
to give me orders, you moron!

The Divine Visionaries are the ones
who mold this world.

They rule it.

Tell me, what traits
should a ruler possess?

A noble bloodline and overwhelming power
that brooks no argument.

Correct.
Which means it is not those in Adler.

It is us... Lang.

Seize all of their coins.

Yessir.

Nummy.

Ugh, it's tasty? That's a mandragora!

Yum, yum.

Seriously!?

Apparently, mandragora cream puffs are tasty.

And now, the next day...

We're supposed to be
having class here today.

What are we going to do here?

What do you do in a forest...
Camping?

That's for leisure. This is a magic school.

I'm number one!

I'm number one!

I, Dot Barrett,
is the main character of this world!

The world revolves around me!

Whew! It's revolving a bit more than—

Whaddaya think you're looking at!?

Wierdo.

A first-year from our dorm.

Wait, it’s you! The Mushroom Head
people keep talking about!

You look like a side character to me.

Who is this guy?

As of today, you’re a side character
in both name and reality!

Because yours truly is—

Mash!

Outdoor class is a bit scary.

I'm not going to push myself too hard.
So Mash, please take care out there, okay?

Thanks.

Mash, could I possibly tag along—

Hey.

I'll k*ll 'im!

I friggin' hate guys
who get attention from women!

I'll k*ll you! I'll triple k*ll ya!

It's ridiculous to begin with!

The global ratio of men to women
is supposed to be equal!

So why isn't there a single girl
falling in love with me!?

That's right, the answer is simple.

It's because chumps like you
ruin the system!

Guys like you are why we have
an aging population and a lower birthrate!

Won't someone just settle for me!?

That's why I made up my mind!

I'm gonna join the Bureau of Magic
and rid this world of hot guys!

- Oh Mash, I'll totally marry you.
- Do cream puffs count as snacks?

That mandragora cream puff
was tasty, huh?
- Oh Mash, I'll totally marry you.
- Do cream puffs count as snacks?

- Oh Mash, I'll totally marry you.
- Do cream puffs count as snacks?

Listen to me!

My ego gets bruised the most
when I'm ignored!

Quiet, all of you.

Both Adler and Lang will participate
in this outdoor exercise.

Your reward will be either a bronze or silver coin.
Brace yourselves.

Your task is the extermination
of forest scorpions.

Bring me the stones
embedded in their foreheads.

Most forest scorpions
will only earn you bronze coins,

but a few are strong enough
to be worth silver coins.

You can identify them easily.

If the stone in their foreheads
are square, they're worth silvers.

Ordinary magic users
almost certainly don't stand a chance.

But such accomplishments
make you Easton students.

Do what you must to survive.

In you go, in order now.

Yeah, it's on!
No way I'm losing to you!

I'd like to make sure to get silver coins here.

I should do my best, too.

You think you're hot stuff, right?

I can tell.

You think you're so special.

You mistakenly think
you're not like the others.

You subconsciously
look down on others, don't you?

Hey, what are you doing over there?

I'll mark you down for that.

Sorry, Professor.
We were just horsing around.

Right, first-year?

Yes, yes. That's the look.

I want to make
a pathetically messed up face outta you.

Looking forward to it, first-year!

Hey, Mash.

Ignore him.

He's one year older than us.

And he's infamous for misconduct.

He's injured multiple teachers
and students he doesn't like,

to the point of being held back a grade.

But they consider his talent as a magic user,
so they haven't expelled him yet.

You hear stuff like that often
from Lang dorm.

So, don't bother with them.

I'm glad.

I thought he crushed my cream puff.

That's why he made that face?

And don't tuck food in there directly.
It's unhygienic.

'Kay.

I smell tremendous danger.

I think it's wiser for us to work as a pair.

Leave it to me, the oldest son...

I zoned out, and now I'm all alone.

Oh well.

Yo yo yo, get those tails on out,
damned scorpions!

I'm gonna show up that mushroom head—

Shut up.

Just now, I wasted calories because of you.

This is just terrible.

I'll k*ll 'im.

Fine. Forget about our class.

Right here right now, you're...

Stop it!

Shut up!

Because of you, I...

I'll make you regret it!

S-Someone... Someone help me!

Explomb.

Raising your hand against a girl...
You're so done as a guy.

U-Um...

Huh?

Thank you so much.

S-S-S-So beautiful!

Nope. Play it cool!
I have to stay calm and act natural!

That was nothing at...

H-H-Her hands... So soft...

You're... so strong.

Argh! I can't do it!

Now, is it almost time?

Thank you so much for what you did earlier.

I-It was nothing.

O-O-Our knees are touching!

So, this is the natural distance
of a modern couple?

Stay calm. Be still, my heart.

If I act weird, she'll catch on
that I'm unpopular with girls.

Keep cool. Come on, me. Keep cool.

Cool! Cool! Cool!

What's with him? Freaky.

Huh? What'd you just say?

I was marveling at how
manly and wonderful you are.

Oh no, I actually said wonderful.

Huh? I thought I heard two syllables.

It's the truth.

You really are wonderful.

With my magic, I can make anyone
even slightly attracted to me fall in love.

He's completely fallen for me now.

Though, maybe he might
have fallen even without magic.

Next up, that mushroom head...

Thank you too, kind sir.
You were a great help.

Oh, I didn't do anything.

What? That's impossible.

There's never been a man
who hasn't fallen under my spell.

More like, any guy should be like “hurray!”
if a cute girl like me was flirting with him.

I'll have to put more magic energy into it.

That's not true.

You really helped me out.

You're very wonderful.

Sound, sight, touch.
My charm reaches all the senses!

There is no man who can resist this!

I said, I didn't do anything.

It's not working at all!?
What is wrong with this guy?

Does he seriously
not find me attractive!? Die!

Fine. It's ours for the taking
now that I have one of theirs.

But you really did save me.

Such a delicate facial expression.

Do you have some kind of circumstance?
I'll lend an ear.

Actually, there’s a certain boy
threatening me.

A certain boy?

A second-year by the name of Silva.

He's someone I don't hear
many good things about.

He's trying to take advantage
of magic only I can use.

He's been stalking me for all this time.

I don't want to be involved
in anything that’s bad.

But he's forcing me to, like he did earlier.

I don't know what I should do.

I'm sorry to bring this up so suddenly.

It's all right.
I'm totally gonna b*at that guy up.

Oh no.
Please don't go out of your way.

No. He's definitely
getting beaten to a pulp.

Kind sir...

Hey!

Who's gonna b*at who to a pulp?

Huh?

So you're the guy...

I'll be the one to k*ll you.

You look like the cringiest punk out there.

Whenever I come across a deluded loser
like you, I can't help but give them a dose of reality.

And when I do, what kind of look
will you have on your face?

Explomb!

Machine g*n Explomb!

I'm not done yet!

Oi oi oi oi!

Explomb!

Die twice!

Meanwhile...

- I'm so glad you’re with us.
- I’m so scared!

Let go.

Don't leave us!

- Please don't! No! Don't leave us!
- You’re the only one we can rely on!
Anyway, is he doing all right?

- Please don't! No! Don't leave us!
- You’re the only one we can rely on!

It seems that second-year
was targeting him.
- Please don't! No! Don't leave us!
- You’re the only one we can rely on!

They haven’t run into each other, have they?

Heh! You weren't much of anything!

Your puny magic
can't break through mine.

Got it!?

Hey hey, what's wrong now?
Where'd all that energy go?

You're gonna k*ll me, right?

Why don't you try a bit harder?

But it's no wonder!

Because even a moron can tell
the difference...

once they've seen the difference
in our skills!