01x01 - Jobless Reincarnation

[bunniefuu]

[siren blaring]

[EMT A] Sir, can you hear me? We're here to help.

[POLICE A] Unidentified mid-thirties, male,

involved in a collision with a commercial cargo vehicle.

Currently nonresponsive, and in critical condition.

[POLICE A] The driver of the truck was uninjured.

[MAN] Oh yeah, I was hit by a truck.

[ZENITH screaming]

[POLICE A] Two high school students thought by witnesses

to have also been injured in the incident are currently missing.

A search is underway.

Requesting immediate backup. Over.

[MAN] Wonder if those kids made it out okay.

[EMT A] Be careful. He's heavy.

[MAN] Heh. You're not lying. I've been a hermit for years.

All I had to do for a meal is pound on the wall.

[PAUL speaking foreign language]

[MAN] Hm?

[DOCTOR A] Sir, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?

[MAN] Chill out, bud. You don't have to yell.

[LILIA speaking foreign language]

[MAN] Huh, who's that?

[NURSE A] Blood pressure dropping!

[DOCTOR A] Prep a transfusion. Stay with us.

Can you tell me your name, sir?

Can you hear me?

[MAN] Ugh. I'm dying, aren't I? Oh well.

It's not like I had some awesome plans in mind.

[ZENITH screams]

[MAN] I wish I'd at least gotten to lose my virginity.

This is weak.

[LILIA speaking foreign language]

[PAUL speaking foreign language]

[MAN] Ugh, my eyes. Am I still alive?

[PAUL speaking foreign language]

[MAN] What are you so excited about?

[MAN] Whoa, eriously? How can you just pick me up?

I'm a grown ass man!

Don't look at me like that! Stay away from me!

The hell was that about?

[speaking foreign language]

[MAN] Hey-oh! Well, well,

the hottie looks happy to see me!

[MAN gasps] Her tits are huge.

[speaking foreign language]

[MAN] What language is that? And where am I?

This isn't a hospital.

[MAN] Now what the hell is he doing?

I'm seriously injured over here.

But she's gorgeous. European?

Either way, if she's just gonna leave herself open like that.

[MAN] Wait.

[MAN gasps]

[BABY cries]

[MAN] I get it. I've been reincarnated.

Who'd have guessed something that ridiculous

could happen in real life?

Paul and Zenith.

If I had to guess, I'd say they're in their mid-twenties.

I'm , so they're practically kids to me.

Gotta admit, I'm jealous they're making babies at that age.

Still, getting to suck on a hottie's fun bags

for free rules.

It didn't turn me on, though.

Maybe 'cause she's my mom?

Rudy? Hey. Where are you?

Rudeus?

[RUDEUS] Yeah, she's looking for me.

My name is Rudeus now.

After six months, I've got a good grasp on the language here.

[RUDEUS] They say babies are like sponges,

but I like to think I'm a fast learner.

[RUDEUS] That's our maid, Lilia.

I'm a big fan of her... talents.

[gasps]

[ZENITH] There you are!

You have to stop wandering off like that, sweetheart.

These don't go on your head, okay?

Lilia, what's wrong?

I hope that you'll forgive me if this is out of line,

Lady Zenith, but... the way he acts...

I fear Master Rudeus may be afflicted by some kind of...

Uh, never mind.

Please, pay it no mind.

All right, but you don't need to be concerned.

He's just a baby.

He can't possibly know better at his age.

Of course not.

[RUDEUS] That's one hell of a view.

It looks like a painting.

Yeah, this has to be somewhere in Europe.

[RUDEUS] It's nice.

But I've never wanted to live in the boonies.

No electricity or gas? What year is it?

Being reborn is great and all, but I still miss my computer.

[RUDEUS] Whoa. What?

[RUDEUS] What is he doing?

[gasps]

[RUDEUS] Oh crap.

[ZENITH shrieks] Oh, Rudy!

[cries]

--Rudy! --Young Master!

You're not hurt, are you?

[RUDEUS] Easy there, sugar britches.

Careful with my head, I just whacked it on the floor.

...still won't cry?

[ZENITH] That's my strong boy. But just in case,

I'll cast a spell to help the pain.

I don't want my baby to hurt.

Let this divine power be rich and nourishing.

[RUDEUS] Come on, are you kidding me?

Either this is this country's version of kissing a boo-boo,

or both of my parents are role playing nerds,

and the Fighter married the Cleric.

Healing.

[gasps]

[gasps]

There, you should be right as rain now, little one!

I bet you'd never guess,

but your mommy used to be an adventurer!

What happened? I heard a thud.

[ZENITH] Oh, darling!

Rudy fell off the windowsill and hit his head and--

[PAUL] Hey, calm down, accidents like that are

how kids learn to be tough.

Besides, if he really...

[RUDEUS] This isn't Europe, is it?

But what if next time he gets so badly hurt

that I can't heal him?

You worry too much.

[RUDEUS] Well, this can only mean one thing.

This isn't Earth, it's another world entirely.

[RUDEUS] A world of swords and sorcery.

[RUDEUS] Now that I'm two and I can walk,

I wonder if Mom will teach me magic.

[RUDEUS chuckles] Magic.

Now there's a word that would even excite a normie.

I want to try it out as soon as possible.

Though, there probably aren't many spells

a toddler can pull off.

[RUDEUS] Books?

[RUDEUS] There are only five books in the house.

So either they're expensive in this world,

or Paul and Zenith aren't big readers.

Hard to wrap my brain around,

since I used to have almost a thousand. Heh.

They were all light novels, but still.

[RUDEUS] Hmm. That's no good.

I guess I'll have to learn to read all over again.

[RUDEUS] A little over a year has passed.

We only have two storybooks,

but Paul's been reading them aloud to me.

Now I can more or less read on my own.

They've seen me looking over our reference books,

but I don't think anyone thinks I can understand them at my age.

Unsurprisingly, The Magic Manual is my favorite.

Some of the concepts are similar to stories

I remember from my old life.

For instance, there are two ways to perform magic:

incantations and magic circles.

It sounds like incantations are

the more common method these days.

There's a lot of interesting background,

but there's one thing that worries me.

Apparently, the amount of mana someone has

is basically fixed at birth.

And though power can be inherited,

I don't trust my genes to do much heavy lifting.

Well, I won't know what I can do until I give it a sh*t.

Uh. Okay, "Let the vast and blessed protection of water

converge where thou seekest."

"I call forth a refreshing,

burbling stream thereof here and now: Water Ball."

[gasps]

[gasps]

Shouldn't it go flying or something?

[RUDEUS] One more try.

[RUDEUS] This is like practicing combos in a fighting game.

Concentrate, picture it over and over again,

really feel it, then unleash it.

Ha!

Huh?

[RUDEUS] But I didn't even do the incantation. What gives?

Seriously? I'm out of MP already?

[ZENITH] Oh, you poor thing.

When you get tired, you need to go to the toilet

before you fall asleep.

[RUDEUS] This sucks.

I'm too old to look like I wet myself!

Damn it. Stop crying!

That was good.

[RUDEUS] Through my experiments I made a few discoveries.

That stupid textbook doesn't know what it's talking about.

[RUDEUS] Magic power grows the more you use it,

and spells work even without reciting incantations.

Most importantly, I guess I shouldn't believe

everything I read.

[RUDEUS] But if it's this easy,

what's the point of incantations in the first place?

[RUDEUS] Maybe they trigger magical effects automatically?

I haven't tried other spells yet,

but I wonder if you can just say the words,

and not focus so strongly on how a spell feels.

If that's the case, I see why they're so common.

First of all, they're easy to teach.

If any schmuck can do magic with the right phrase,

you don't have to waste time with convoluted explanations

of energy coursing through your veins and what nots.

The second advantage is convenience.

att*ck magic, obvi, is used in combat.

It's easier rattling off a chant than closing your eyes

and concentrating on a spell in the heat of the moment.

All right. It's way past your bedtime, kid.

[ZENITH gasps] Oh! Paul! You're a beast!

[PAUL grunts] A beast for your love! Me lady!

[ZENITH moans] Take me to the tower!

[RUDEUS] My growing mana is another mystery.

Maybe I misinterpreted what the book was really saying.

Is there an eventual cap on your mana

that no training can increase?

Or, your max grows as you get older?

Yeah, in that case, starting out so young

probably increases my maximum power.

But it's still too soon to draw conclusions.

[gasps]

[RUDEUS] And I shouldn't discount the possibility

that I'm just a badass.

[laughs] This is so easy now!

[RUDEUS] Whoa, lightheaded. Cool it.

Whatever the case may be,

all signs point down the same path:

gotta start grinding my skills while I'm still young.

[RUDEUS] Okay!

[RUDEUS] I guess I should figure out

how to make these things fly.

[PAUL grunting]

[VILLAGERS giggling]

Huh?

What the?

[RUDEUS panting]

[gasps]

Yes! Finally!

[RUDEUS] Turns out, spells have an order of operations.

First, you call forth the element, set the size,

then set the speed, and when you release it, off it goes.

I guess this is where incantations

might come in handy.

I'd been trying to set a f*ring speed before finalizing size.

Now that I've built up my power,

let's see what I can do with Intermediate magic.

Okay. "Supple spirit of water and princess of the streams

that flow through the earth."

"Sweep away all that is before me with your hidden inner might.

Splash Flow."

[gasps]

[gasps]

[VILLAGER A] Hm?

Rudy, are you--

[PAUL] Wh-What happened in here?

[ZENITH] Rudy? Rudy!

Are you hurt?

[RUDEUS] N-No.

Monster att*ck, maybe?

No way. Not in broad daylight.

What's this?

Now, sweetheart.

You didn't happen to read some of this out loud, did you?

[RUDEUS] Whoa, lady, you're freaking me out!

Please don't look at me like that.

Did I screw up?

Does this world have witch trials for kids

who use magic or something?

I don't want to get b*rned at the stake!

I'm real sorry.

[squeals] Darling, did you hear that?

I always knew our little boy was a genius!

Hang on a minute, this is an Intermediate spell--

That does it, let's look for a magic tutor right away!

Are you sure that was him?

We haven't even taught him to read--

With talent like that, he'll grow up to be an amazing mage!

[ZENITH laughing]

[PAUL] Slow down, Zenith, we decided that if we had a boy,

he would be a swordsman.

But we didn't know he'd be doing Intermediate magic by now!

Sorry, a promise is a promise!

Don't talk to me about promises, you break yours all the time!

Don't throw that in my face, we're not talking about me!

[LILIA] Why not teach him magic in the morning

and swordsmanship in the afternoon?

Either way, we shouldn't fight like that in front of the baby.

Yes, you're right.

[RUDEUS] That settled it.

They're getting me a tutor.

Paul doesn't have what you'd call a "normal" job,

but as the knight who watches over our village,

he's technically a low-ranking noble.

There's no other way we could afford

a live-in maid and a tutor.

Still, we live in the sticks of the outer border.

I didn't think anyone would apply for a gig

all the way out here.

But they found someone in no time.

In a sleepy little town like this,

my parents were expecting a retired adventurer.

You know the type.

A middle-aged man, or older.

Billowing cloak. Long, bushy beard.

A veteran spellcaster who really screams "wizend mage."

My name's Roxy Migurdia.

Pleased to meet you.

[RUDEUS gasps]

[RUDEUS] What the hell?

Forget a beard, she doesn't look like she can grow hair anywhere.

My great teacher is a socially-awkward loli

with resting bitch face?

She's perfect. I'd totally marry her.

Oh. I take it that you must be the home tutor.

But, aren't you awfully...?

She's so little!

Well, you're one to talk, aren't you?

[RUDEUS] Guess she's touchy about it, huh?

I wasn't even talking about her chest.

[ROXY] So, where is this brilliant student of mine?

Oh! He's right here!

Ah. Yeah, you hate to see it.

Some kid shows signs of being an early bloomer

and their idiot parents think that means they're special.

[RUDEUS] Uh? We're standing right here!

What was that?

Nothing!

Only that I'm not sure that a boy your son's age

will be able to comprehend magic theory.

[ZENITH] Don't you worry!

Our little Rudy here is a genius, you'll see!

[sighs] I understand.

In that case, I'll do what I can.

Wait. Are we doing it outside?

[ROXY] Naturally, where else?

Huh?

[ROXY] Generally speaking, there are only

three different types of magic.

Those are att*ck, healing, and summoning magic.

Spells and the mages who cast them

are divided into seven ranks.

Elementary, Intermediate, Advanced,

Saint, King, Emperor, and God.

To use any kind of spell,

you need to tap into magical power.

This can either be your own innate power,

or a dedicated magic circle for whatever spell you're--

Uh-- Hey. What's the matter?

[RUDEUS] Uh, nothing.

Anyway. I'll start by showing you an incantation.

Repeat after me.

Do you have to say the incantation?

Yeah, how else are you gonna cast?

[RUDEUS] Confirmed: I'm a badass.

[sighs] Let the vast and blessed protection of water

converge where thou seekest.

I call forth a refreshing, burbling stream thereof here.

Water Ball!

What do you think?

[RUDEUS] Uh, miss? My mom loves that tree

and spends lots of time caring for it,

she's gonna be angry that you broke it.

[gasps] Uh. Don't move, I'll be right back.

Let this divine power be rich and nourishing.

Offering those whose strength has been lost,

the strength to rise again.

Healing!

[RUDEUS] Whoa, not bad!

You can use healing magic just like my mom!

[ROXY] Yes, up to Intermediate level.

Awesome! You're really talented!

Not really. I mean, anyone can do that

with the proper training, but that's kind of you to say.

[RUDEUS] Flattery will get you everywhere.

[ROXY] All right, now you try it.

[RUDEUS] 'Kay!

[RUDEUS] So, Roxy and The Magic Manual both think

you have to use incantations to cast.

I've been ignoring them from day one,

but maybe that's taboo.

I'll say them for now,

in case they turn out to be important later.

How does this one go again?

She just said it.

Let the vast and blessed protection of water

converge where thou seekest--

[RUDEUS gasps]

[gasps]

[ROXY] Care to explain yourself?

Uh, it's nothing! How did I do?

You cut the incantation in half.

Yeah.

[ROXY] Do you always abridge it like that?

Well, I normally... skip it.

You what?!

[ROXY groans] Okay. Wordless spellcasting. I see.

It looks like this kid will be worth training after all.

[ZENITH screams]

[BOTH] Uh--

[ZENITH] Roxy! Please don't use my trees as practice dummies!

Oh, honestly.

Figures that I'd screw it all up on day one. [chuckles]

I suppose I'll be fired tomorrow.

I'm sorry you got yelled at, miss.

That was all my fault.

[RUDEUS] Damn it. I haven't had a real conversation

in almost years.

I have no idea what I'm supposed to do now.

No, wait. I've done this a thousand times!

Now what would a dating sim protagonist

do in this situation?

Uh--

And I don't think you screwed anything up today, miss.

You only gained experience.

Well, when you put it that way...

Thank you very much.

Ow!

[ZENITH] If you don't mind, Roxy.

Uh, yes?

Let's head inside.

We'll do proper introductions over dinner, 'kay?

[PAUL] Hey! Get the lead out!

I'm grateful, but I can't repay your hospitality.

You don't have to, silly. Now, come on in.

[ZENITH] You too, Rudy.

Okay!

[PAUL] Now that we're all here,

let Roxy's welcome party begin!

[ZENITH, PAUL laughing]

[RUDEUS] This feels like a dream.

Or some kind of fantasy while I die in the street.

And even if it is, I don't care.

In this world, I really think I can make it.

My last life ended full of regret and painful memories.

But if I can get up when I fall, and keep moving forward,

I know I'll be okay.

And maybe,

I'll prove that even a jobless, reclusive bum like me

won't waste a second chance...

[RUDEUS] ...to get serious about living.