Oh!
Tia! Quick! Meat!
Whoo!
Hurry!
Tia, hurry!
Uh, last night's
meat loaf?
Ooh, now
it's snausage.
Fetch, cujo.
Mom, where'd you get
the dog?
- From Jolene at
- the beauty shop.
Why?
- Having a dog's a great
- way to meet a man.
- He's walking his
- little something.
- You walking your
- little something.
- Their leashes get tangled up and
- before you know it
You're on to a little
something-something.
Well, did you meet anyone?
As a matter of fact,
I met a very nice man
but the only date
we'll have is in court.
Cujo ate his chihuahua.
♪ Talk about a
two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ never knew how
much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
♪ Never knew
how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go ♪
But, punkin...
It's not that I
just have a date.
I'm a little too old
for the renaissance fair.
- We've been going to the fair
- since you were nine.
That's what I mean.
I've outgrown a lot of
the stuff we used to do
like... "take your
daughter to work day."
You always looked so cute
behind the wheel of my limo.
The father-daughter dance?
Oh, that's not
until next weekend.
I've been practicing
my lambada...
The forbidden dance.
- Now I know
- why it's forbidden.
Dad, look, I don't want
to hurt your feelings
but a lot of the stuff
we did when I was
a kid was fun, but...
It's kind of corny now.
- The fair is not
- just for kids.
I enjoy it.
I'm an adult.
Besides...
- I don't want
- to go alone.
Well, dad,
you don't have to.
I bet Lisa...
- Oh, ding-dong.
- I'll get it.
Come on, Tia.
You love sophisticated
stuff like this.
You use grey poupon.
Okay, okay.
Sure, ray.
I'd love to go.
- Good.
- I'll run to the garage
- And get those
- little pointy hats
From last year.
- Thanks, Tia.
- I owe you one.
You owe me two if
he finds those hats.
- Well, it sounds like
- ole jell-o-butt next door
Is finally
putting up a fence.
I saw him sunbathing
last month
all slathered up
with coppertone.
Ew! I haven't been able
to baste a Turkey since.
I'm sorry, Lisa.
- It's just the
- handyman dad called...
To repair the gate
cujo went through?
- Ah! I guess
- ray hasn't missed
The lawn furniture yet.
May I take
thy wrap, milady?
Thou art most kind,
good gentleman.
Oh, Tia...
Ooh, I wish
I had my camera.
You look so cute.
You look like a jackass.
Well
hardeth-har-har, Lisa.
If you understood
history, you would know
this was the height
of fashion around 1215.
Well, it's 5:00, and you
still look like a jackass.
- So, did you guys
- have a good time?
Oh, yeah. It was great.
There was strolling
minstrels and jousting
and much merry cavorting
upon the village green.
Man, I owe you big time.
Honey, got this for you.
He won it
slaying the dragon.
It really wasn't a dragon.
It was just a big old
green sock on a stick.
But that bad boy
put up quite a fight.
Mom, it was so cool.
After ray hit it
about 50 or 60 times
the whole crowd
started cheering him on.
"Go, ray! Go, ray!"
- And then some little kid
- said to me
- "boy, your dad's
- really funny."
- And you said,
- "that's not my dad," right?
No, I was too busy
leading the crowd.
- Both:
- "Go, ray. Go, ray."
Hey, Tia.
Tia, it's okay.
My date ended hours ago.
You don't have to
baby-sit dad anymore.
Oh, I know, but i'm
having a good time.
With who?
Your dad.
Tamara, he's really cool.
Cool?
Mm-hmm.
Tia, cool's over here.
Ray Campbell is way...
Over there.
Tamara, I know
- but I still like
- hanging with him.
Aaah! That's it.
- That tool-banging,
- butt cr*ck-showing, fix-it fool
Is out of here.
Hey, hammerhead,
would you knock it off?!
Can't stand all that noise.
I can't even play my...
Ooh...
I'm sorry, ma'am.
Am I disturbing you?
More than you know...
Russell.
Oh, girls
- why don't you
- go out and play?
But, mom, I...
- Get out, get out,
- get out.
Oh, my... Russell.
Oh, it's warm in here.
- Why don't you
- just rustle over there
- And I'll rustle you up
- a cool drink.
Thank you, ma'am.
I think you'll like the gate.
I matched the wood for you.
It's knotty pine.
Oh... did you spank it?
Spank it?
For being so naughty. Ha-ha.
That's very funny.
- I'll have to tell my wife
- that one.
Oh?
- Um, let me ask you
- a question as you leave.
- Uh, what about
- the drink?
Use the hose.
Look, Russell, now
- how does a girl like me
- get to meet a guy like you
Before a guy
like you gets got?
Oh, well... I met my wife
- when I came to reface
- her cabinets.
It's funny.
My brother's an electrician
- and he met his wife
- on a service call too.
- So did this
- repair guy I know...
Yeah, don't let the gate
hit you on your way out.
Thank you.
Hmm.
Oh!
- Oh, my!
- I think I need a plumber.
You were so right, ray.
I mean, I absolutely
love James Baldwin.
Oh, me too.
I love all
the Baldwin brothers.
Is James Baldwin
- the one in the Cindy Crawford
- movie?
- 'Cause he is
- such a babe.
- James Baldwin
- is a respected author.
Yeah, he wrote
"the fire next time."
Oh! Right, sure!
That must be on
my must-read list
right after I finish
"evod emosenol."
Honey, that's "lonesome dove".
Wow!
Wow!
You look great, Lisa.
Going out?
Staying in.
I'm waiting for my repairman.
- Again? I mean,
- we just had one this morning.
Yeah, but he was butt-ugly.
Hey, mom, guess what?
Ray's taking me
to an opera.
Madame butterfly.
That's nice, honey.
What? Well, Tia,
don't you think
your mom will
feel left out?
I mean, if you go
to madame butterfly
with my dad?
- Madame butterfly?
- No thanks.
- I prefer "madame butterworth"
- myself.
No, mom
it's really beautiful.
Both:
Anybody still in the dark
as to why I don't want to go?
Both:
Thanks, ray.
I'm really looking
forward to this.
Oh, thanks, ray.
This is so nice
for Tia to have a man
to look up to...
Sort of like
a father figure.
It's nice for me too.
- Tia and I have
- a lot in common.
- It's not easy
- finding people
That share my interests.
You're telling me...
I haven't been interested
- in anything you've said
- since I moved in.
-Oh, step aside, ray.
That's my
sump pump man.
Wait a minute.
Our sump pump is broken?
You mean we actually have one?
I'm here about your sump pump.
Ray, it's for you.
- ( Aria from madame butterfly
- playing )
Man, this opera thing
is never going to catch on.
Can I come in?
Honey, you were really quiet
at the dinner table.
I know Tia and I monopolized
the conversation
but you sure you
didn't feel left out?
Me?
No way.
Are you sure?
- I mean, I kind
- of got vibes
That maybe you were...
A little jealous.
Oh, come on... jealous?
Of you and Tia?
Dad, please,
I'm not a baby.
I know, I know.
Sometimes I forget
you're not five anymore.
You've grown up to be
quite a young lady...
Unselfish, giving,
willing to share.
I'm really proud
of you, honey.
The hard part is...
Even though you're
too grown up
for those
father-daughter dances
I'm really going to miss them.
I am too.
Dad?
Um... ray?
I've been thinking.
Would...
- You go to
- the father-daughter dance
With me tomorrow night?
Really? You want to go?
Well, yeah.
I've never been to one.
- And it'll mean
- a lot to me.
Tia, i'm...
I'm really touched.
Okay, then...
I'd love to go
to the father-daughter
dance with you.
Oh, Tia,
I'm speechless.
You look stunning,
sweetheart.
Tia:
Oh, thanks, ray.
Oh, hi, punkin.
- Hey, you got chocolate
- on your shirt.
Oh, thanks, dad.
- What you got there, ray?
- Biscuits?
No.
- Tia, got you
- a little something
For your first
father-daughter dance.
Oh, thanks, ray!
It's gorgeous!
Let me pin it on
for you, honey.
Punkin, I know you think
this is all very corny
but I couldn't help myself.
- I got you a little
- something too.
Really? You got me a corsage?
- No, honey,
- you're not going anywhere.
I got you this.
Well, it was standing proud
when I bought it.
Sorry.
Must have got slammed
in a car door.
Come on, Tia.
Let's go practice
our entrance.
- Better hurry up and put that
- into water, honey.
I'm on it.
You see? That's why
we don't buy you a puppy.
I'm sorry.
This is a real nice
thing you're doing
for your sister.
- I know it's
- not easy for you.
Oh, honey,
I'm proud of you.
Yay for me.
I'm reaching for a cookie.
You're not going
to hurt me, are you?
Help yourself.
You know, it's
funny sometimes
how you can just
eat and eat and eat
and still have this big
empty space inside of you.
It's like you just
can't seem to fill it.
Well, I'm working on it.
Please pass the mallomars.
I'm not talking
about you, tamera.
- I was thinking
- about Tia.
That's how she
must feel... hungry.
I'm not surprised.
I ate her dinner.
Tamera, not food-hungry.
Tia has a big empty space
inside of her and...
Only a daddy can fill it.
But I was using mine.
- Isn't there some old dad
- lying around somewhere
She could have?
Oh, believe me, honey,
I been looking.
I know Tia needs a father.
Why do you think I keep throwing
all those bricks in the dryer?
Ray: Your carriage
awaits, milady.
Coming!
Good night, tamera.
Thanks again.
Yeah, whatever.
What are you looking at,
you scaly home wrecker?
Families.
We all love our families,
right?
I mean good times, bad times...
They're always there for us.
Yeah, unless you have
a father-stealing sister
- who's looking to ruin
- your life.
Today on woolery...
"father-stealing sisters
- who are looking
- to ruin your life."
- Thank you,
- ladies and gentlemen.
- Please welcome,
- all the way from Detroit
Tia, tamera
and their father ray.
Excuse me, Chuck.
Yes?
But he's my father.
- Then why do you suppose
- he's taking Tia
To the father-daughter dance?
Because I believe
in sharing with my sister
and I'm mature enough
not to let it get to me.
- ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah-
- nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
♪ I'm dancing
with your daddy. ♪
Ooh, I'll k*ll her!
Hey, hey, hey,
stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Sit down! Sit down!
Sit down, tamurry.
It's tamera.
Sweetheart...
- Did the big,
- bad sister-wister
Fwighten
my itty-bitty baby?
Hello?
I'm your daughter,
not her.
Is that really true, tabooly?
Tamera. It's tamera.
Okay?!
You see,
it seems Tia and ray
have so many intellectual
pursuits in common.
You, on the other hand,
don't know who James Baldwin is
you big dope.
- Lisa:
- Uh, question!
Chuck, question over here.
Yoo-hoo! Lisa in the house.
Go ahead, Lisa.
Where all the men at?
Isn't this love connection?
- No, no, Lisa,
- this isn't love connection.
Do you have a question?
That was my question.
- Yeah, but long as I'm up,
- long as I'm up...
- Tamera, she brought this
- all on herself.
- She should have
- went to that
Renaissance fair with her daddy.
Wait a minute.
You didn't want to go.
He ain't my daddy.
Thank you, Lisa. Thank you.
Get off me. Don't touch me.
- Sweetheart, are
- you ready to go
- To the father-daughter
- dance?
Mm-hmm.
Excuse us, tamambo.
It's tamera.
- No, actually,
- it's tonight.
Got to go.
You're the best, ray.
You can call me "dad."
What about me?
You can call me "Mr. Campbell."
Wait, wait, please,
don't go! Don't go!
Let me go, tanana!
I've got to get
Mr. Campbell back.
Wait, wait,
wait, Lisa, wait.
Whoa.
Dad?
Dad, please don't go.
I have a tummy ache.
- Well,
- I'm not surprised.
- You ate everything
- in the fridge
But the baking soda.
- Baby, maybe you
- should get to bed.
- -Lisa will look after you...
- -No, no.
I want you.
We can do stuff
together like...
Like search the newspapers
for grammatical errors.
You love that stuff.
Just, please, don't go.
- I promised your sister
- I'd take her to the dance.
- With your blessing,
- remember?
Um...
Ray, it's okay.
All of a sudden
I'm not feeling
too well either.
Maybe it's catching.
Uh... I don't think
I can go to the dance.
Tia?
Tia?
Don't worry.
- I'll take care
- of her.
Good.
And I'll take
care of her.
Young lady, I'm waiting
for an explanation.
I'm sorry, dad.
I didn't want
to hurt Tia, but...
I didn't want
to lose you.
- Lose me? What in the world are
- you talking about?
Well, all of a sudden
it's like you and Tia
are best friends
and I get the feeling you think
you've got the wrong twin.
What? Sit down.
That's ridiculous.
- I mean, I think
- Tia is terrific
But no one could replace
you in my life.
Really?
Really.
- You been keeping
- all this to yourself?
If you were hurt,
why didn't you say something?
Well, I couldn't.
You would have all thought
I was just a selfish little baby
and... I just want to be mature.
Tia?
There's something I have to say.
Me too.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You are?
You are?
Wa-wait a minute, Tia.
I know why i'm sorry.
I ruined your chance to go
to your first
father-daughter dance.
What are you so sorry about?
Well...
For hogging your dad
and making you feel bad.
Tamera...
I never had a dad.
And it was just so great
being with yours
and doing all that
father-daughter stuff.
I guess I didn't stop
to think how you felt.
But I wasn't trying
to steal him from you, honest.
Are you kidding?
Take him.
Feel free to use him
any time you want.
- What are you
- sitting here for?
You're going to be
late for the dance.
Why are you crying now?
'Cause... I...
Feel... good.
Why are you crying?
'Cause... I...
Feel good too!
I'm so happy!
I'm so happy!
Oh, tamera, good,
you're still up.
Yep.
I saved you
some milk and cookies.
Aw, you didn't have to do that.
What kind of cookie?
So you and Tia have a
good time at the dance?
Yes, we did.
But...
I saved the last dance
for my best girl.
♪ Don't you know
I get lost in your arms ♪
♪ I'm caught up
in your tenderness ♪
Funny sometimes
how you can just
eat and eat and eat
and still have this
big empty space
inside of you.
- It's like you just
- can't seem to fill it.
Well, I'm working on it.
Please pass the mallomars.
I didn't mean you, honey.
Snot came out of my nose.
04x04 - Daddy's Girl
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Starring Tia and Tamera Mowry as identical twin sisters separated at birth who are reunited as teenagers.
Starring Tia and Tamera Mowry as identical twin sisters separated at birth who are reunited as teenagers.