01x07 - The Hottest Ticket in Town

[bunniefuu]

[SIREN WAILING]

[BLOWING WHISTLE]

[WOMAN EXCLAIMING]

Oh, my God, it's her!

Can I have your autograph?

[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]

WOMAN: Thank you.
MATSON: Mr. Hallard.

Mr. Hallard. Mr. Hallard,
I'm here to pick you up.

You're new, aren't you?

Yes, sir, I'm new. Say,

can I take your suitcase
and put it in the trunk for you?

No, no. I'll keep it with me.

Yes, sir.

We're going to the
Bay Arena, right?

We're not going anywhere
till you give me that suitcase.

[WOMEN EXCLAIMING]

Come on, give.

[WOMEN EXCLAIMING]

[g*n f*ring]

What happened?

He wouldn't give
me the suitcase.

I think I k*lled him.

Oh, that's just great!

[WOMEN EXCLAIMING]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

There's that new
kid in homeroom.

Look at her. Miss
Outward Bound, 1982.

You guys are laughing, but at
least she's gonna get a ticket.

We'll have to listen
from the parking lot.

He's right. I don't think
this line has an end.

DEBBIE: Yeah.

Maybe you could do
something about that.

Go on up to her and flash
those big, blue surfboard eyes.

Come on. Go.

Hi.

Oh. I'm Bobby Wyler.

Remember? Algebra Two?

Yeah, sure. Hi,
I'm Diane Pierce.

I guess you've
been in line a while.

Yeah. All night.

BOBBY: Must have
been pretty cold.

Cold? I'm from Wisconsin. Anything
above 20 is top-down weather.

So, you like it
here in San Diego?

Yeah.

Listen, if you want me to buy you
tickets when it's my turn, just ask.

Who thought up this little
game? Heckle and Jeckle?

Hey, don't do me
any favors, okay?

I'm just trying to be friendly.

Yeah. Give me the money.

For them, too.

Thanks. Maybe I could see
you tonight and pick them up?

I'll see you in Algebra.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
WOMAN: Hey! Hey! Hey!

Everybody, move back!

Move back, everybody.

Move back!

Everybody. Everybody out!

Everybody go back!

CECILIA: I don't know what
you're worried about, honey.

Your Uncle Rick and your
Uncle A.J. can get you tickets.

Mom. What?

That's okay. I don't care
about Rick Brewster anyway.

I can tell. You don't care about
Rick Brewster the same way

AJ. mm came about the Surf Boys.

Beach Boys, Mom. Beach Boys.

You should see the pile of
albums I gave to Goodwill last week.

Oh, no! Not Surfin' Safari,
Mom. Please, not Surfin' Safari,

Well, I don't know. Well,
I remember one record

with a picture of a black man
in a cowboy outfit on the cover.

Oh, Mom! Bo Diddley is a
Gunslinger. Mom, you didn't do that!

Well, I'm sure going to this
concert isn't that important to Diane.

All right, Mom, you
made your point.

She promised three of the kids at her
new school she'd get them tickets, too.

We will do what we can,
but we can't promise anything.

Of course they can.

AJ; How we“ do you know
Mm Bob Raymond' anyway?

RICK: Jim Bob? Never met him.

Well, then would you mind
telling me what we're doing here?

We need tickets. He's
promoting a concert. That's easy.

Twisted logic is
never easy. I'll see you.

Easy, son, the Roller
Derby don't start till April.

Better let me handle this.

Mr. Raymond, I am Rick
Simon. That's my brother, A.J.

We've been admiring
your shows for years.

That's nice. Now, if you
boys will just excuse me.

Just wanted to let you know

that I grew up on
your wrestling matches.

Taught me the
meaning of fair play.

Look, buddy, don't
stroke a shaker.

Either tell me what you
want, or get out of my way.

That's fair enough,
that's fair enough.

Now, we're here to talk
to you about a little trade.

A little trade?

What are you talking about?

Tickets for the Rick
Brewster concert.

Get out!

No, now look, see, this is
really a sweet deal. Here.

You do this for us, and
then any time you want it,

we return the favor.

And I got quite a few
connections around town.

You know what I mean?

How would you like
to connect with this?

Call security.

No, now look, see, I'm not
talking about freebies, here,

I'm talking about
an opportunity!

That was elegant.

Oh, I like your style.

At least he took the card.
Maybe he'll change his mind.

[PHONE RINGING]

RECEPTIONIST: Jim Bob
Productions. Thank you.

Jerks.

Cute jerks, though.

Where are Nelson and Muir?

They called and
they're on their way in.

And they sounded pretty upset.

Said you ought to read page
three of the morning paper.

I don't think I can deal with
Gordy on an empty stomach.

Oh, come on.

You know it'll be worth it. He
always comes through for us.

Geez.

Saddle up for
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Terrific shirt.

Hey, Rick-o and A.J.!

Who's Norm?

How should I know?

But did you see the crossed
wrenches on the back?

Hey, feel me, go ahead, touch
me, I'm authentic polyester.

Yeah, oh, that is really first
cabin, Gordo. Listen, man,

we're interested in
scoring some tickets.

Tickets? The man wants
tickets? Tickets, tickets...

Tickets.

You fill in the airlines and
the destination. No, no...

Now, they're not hot, just a little warm...
Gordy, we don't want airline tickets.

Chargers tickets. Amtrak
tickets, raffle tickets...

No. No, what we want
is ticket... Fifty-yard line?

What we want is tickets to
the Rick Brewster concert.

Heavy. You know, it's strange.

Normal channels, they got
nothing. Dried up. It's weird.

I've never seen
anything like it.

Hey, Tuesday we launch
the Forrestal. Oh, boy.

Anchors aweigh, my boys

That is beautiful.
Anchors aweigh...

Can you help us, Gordy?

I christened it myself with one
of those champagne miniatures.

You know the little bottles you
get on the airlines? I was crying.

Tickets?

And then I went out to cop
some decals for my new P-38.

You remember the Lightning,
with the twin tails? Oh, yeah.

This stuff is wonderful. Rick!

Tickets.

Okay, okay. I heard
about some tickets.

See? I just think you
shouldn't book passage

on this particular
guy's steamer.

Why's that? I
don't know the guy.

He's a friend of a friend,
but from the way he is talking,

something very
weird is going down.

I mean, this guy is moving
hundreds at fifty bucks a hit.

Much too big an apple
for this little worm.

Well, Gordy, could you maybe just let
us know how to get in touch with him?

We'll take it from there.

Here's a name and an address.

You didn't get it from me.
Oh, Gordy, you're a champ.

Thank you. What it is!

All right! Hey, will
you look at this stuff?

Come on, can you believe
this screaming eagle?

Look at that. Oh,
that's gorgeous!

It's got bombs
clutched in its talons!

Uh, see you later, Gordy.

Take it easy, now, all right?

Genius.

You read it.

You're damn
well right I read it!

We've been at the hospital
and Hallard's still in a coma.

Now, the only thing the cops
know is he's a printer from Vegas.

But they don't know
who sh*t him. MUIR: No.

And they didn't
find the suitcase.

Simple. Whoever it
was, they got our tickets.

They got my tickets!

A quarter of a million
dollars of my money.

MUIR: They've got to
start surfacing in quantity.

I mean, 8000 seats.

Well, maybe the
police'll turn them up.

Oh. Well, wouldn't that be nice?


not supposed to exist.

You want to try explaining
that to the cops if they find them?

Stupid!

I want you guys to start
rattling every cage in town.

There's gotta be somebody with an
awful lot of Brewster tickets to unload.

Somebody with...

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What did I do with that card?

Now I know what that
jerk was talking about!

What jerk? This jerk!

Rick... Richard Simon. He
came in here this morning,

talking about sweet
deals and opportunities.

Hell, I thought
he wanted tickets!

He must have been trying
to sell them back to you.

JIM BOB: You got the address.

Now, you go find him. And
then you find those tickets.

And when you do,
you buy him a ticket

to the same hospital
that Hallard's in.

Hi. Anything for Simon & Simon?

Occupant. Wonderful.

Well, at least we
didn't have any bills.

Nelson, those are the
two guys we're looking for.

RINTNER: Twenty thousand, man. And
that's a righteous price for 200 tickets.

Okay, okay, $15,000,
and that's the bottom line.

Ten, and you're k*lling me!

I'll be right over.

This is crazy. I'm staring
m*rder one in the face,

and you're getting rid
of these one at a time.

Jim Bob's gonna be looking
under every rock in town.

Let's get out of here
while we can still walk.

Calm down, will you?
You're hyperventilating.

Look, we'll unload all
of them. Just be cool.

The guy's not even dead.

Great, great. "Stay cool."

These tickets can only
send me away for life,

and you're calling
everybody and his mother.

Why don't you put an
ad in the newspaper?

Hey, I didn't tell
you to sh**t the guy.

[SIGHING]

Look, I'll be back
in half an hour.

Relax.

We're gonna be rich.

Hey, AI.

Maybe we should
go to Mexico then.

That's what we should do.

Yeah. Sure.

[DOOR CLOSES]

RICK: Whoa, whoa,
there it is, right there.

No, no, no. You better
let me do the talking.

Guys like this don't respect you
unless you come on real hard.

[CLEARS THROAT]

We want to talk to
you about some tickets.

Hey, you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Boy, Gordy really called it.
Something weird is going on here.

Look at this, they're
all for Rick Brewster.

Yeah, I know.

No, Rick! No!

God put these here for us.

Rick, they do not belong to us.

Hey, do you think they belong to
the little weasel who left them here?

Now, look, we are
gonna do the right thing.

We're gonna return these to
their rightful owner, Rick Brewster.

We get Diane's tickets for her,
we make a nice little settlement,

we get a reward for
ourselves from him, right?

We're gonna do the right
thing. I promise. Right? Right.

What's wrong?

Last time I saw that look in
your eye, I got twenty stitches

and you were in jail for a week.

Yeah, well, this time
it's gonna be different.

You'll get the
stitches, I'll be in jail.

You're paranoid, you know that?

I am not paranoid.

When it comes to my life,
I am occasionally cautious.

Cautious, paranoid,
same difference.

I think your dictionary
has a few pages missing.

Paranoid.

Hold it, Nelson. We
know where to find them.

Let's check that
house out first.

Well.

Tickets, tickets.

Yeah. Jim Bob was right.

MUIR: Yeah, they
had them, all right.

And it won't take us long
to catch up with them.

Believe me,

we're gonna get the tickets and
take care of those two guys for you.

Hi, there. They should
be back any minute.

Oh, hi. Thanks. I know. They told
me to meet them here after school.

You must be Dee.
You must be Janet.

I have heard a lot about you.

I've heard about you, too.

What're you reading? Conrad.
That's got to be for English, right?

No. It's just for fun.

You know, I don't think Francis
Coppola really understood it.

Uh-oh, they're smiling,
and that's always dangerous.

Look at this. Hey.

Now, I would be willing to
treat the entire student body,

but A.J. there wants to
play it right down the middle.

You wait right here and we may
have an even bigger surprise for you.

Don't ask me.

No, you don't understand,
I'm not a Rick Brewster fan.

I just... I need to
talk to him personally,

or to his manager,
the hotel manager...

Well, then put me through
to his room. I'll talk to anyone.

I do not sound like
a high school junior.

Hello?

[BUSY TONE OVER PHONE]

Hello?

Try the arena.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[SINGING] If you've ever
wondered what I feel inside

The secrets I keep to myself

It's all very simple
I've nothing to hide

It's you that I want
No one else I want you

Nobody else, I want you

All to myself, I want you

And nobody else, I want you

I wanted to tell you
and God knows We tried

My feelings are hard to conceal

But you never notice
'cause, girl, I get shy

I act tough to hide
how I feel I want you

And nobody else, I want you

All to myself, I want you

Nobody else, I want you

I want you

And nobody else, I want you

All to myself, I want you

Tickets! Thousands of them!

He wants to know seat numbers.

[SIGHING]

BB, one to 100,

AB, one to 100.

BB, one... B!

Double C, one to 100.

"Baby, baby", one to 100!

I want you

Take five.

Hey, Healy, man, we
need to crank up the sound.

Sure. You got it.

Okay. Ricky, something
weird's going down, man.

A guy just called and said

he's got a few thousand
tickets he wants to give to you.

Personally.

A few thousand?

Yeah. So I asked
him the seat numbers.

There's only one problem.

The seats don't exist.

Hi.

Can I help you?

Oh, if you're looking for
Rick and A.J., they're inside.

They're inside?

Sure. Shouldn't they be?

Do you have an
appointment with them?

Oh, yeah. Sure do.

Hey, wait a
minute, let go of me!

Hi.

Oh, look, I think there's some
sort of misunderstanding here.

Quiet.

Uh, yeah, but I
think you probably...

Be quiet!

[CHUCKLES]

Lock it. Locking it.

Bring it out here.

I'm bringing it out.

Set it down.

Putting it down right here.

Just out of curiosity,

what's the deal with
the tickets? Just curious.

What tickets?

Let's go.

Hey.

I don't know what's going on,
but she's got nothing to do with it.

Leave her alone.

[GRUNTS]

Compliments of Jim Bob Raymond.

[GASPING] Thanks.
I got the message.

No, you didn't.

Now you got the message.

[MOANING]

Hey. Hmm?

Come on. Time to get up.

Come on.

Up you go.

Come up. Up, up, up.

You okay? Huh? Huh?

Hey! You're okay.

Where's Dee?

[RATTLING]

Is that in my head?

It's in my head.

[MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY]

That's easy for you to say.

Did they hurt you?
You all right? No.

[GROANING] Get
that away from me.

It'll stop the swelling.

I'm not worried about swelling,
I'm worried about seeing.

Eight fingers is normal, right?

For you, yes.

[GROANS]

Sorry. Do you guys
always get b*at up like this?

Isn't your mother calling you?

The phone hasn't
rung since I got here.

Well, how many real
clients do you guys have?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

No more surprises.

[BANGING ON DOOR]

Surprise.

You two want to talk to Rick
Brewster about some tickets?

Well, come on in, officers.

Well, I see you
brought some friends.

Well, we got enough here
to play bridge, don't we?

Yeah. Whoever decided to call
Rick Brewster can be the dummy.

Hey, which one of you called us?

Well, I did.

But...

You don't understand.
We didn't steal any tickets.

We were just trying to return
some tickets to Mr. Brewster.

[PHONE RINGING]

Peerless Detectives.

WILLIE: They want to give us
back tickets that don't even exist.

Hello?

Hey, what're you talking about,
pal, "don't exist"? We saw them.

Yeah? Well, if we see any of them
at the concert, you two are gonna

spend a good long time in jail!

Jail. For what?

You heard the man.
You're under arrest.

Under arrest for what?

Suspicion.

RICK: Suspicion of what?
OFFICER: Suspicion of conspiracy,

Conspiracy to do what?

Suspicion of conspiracy
to commit a felony.

What felony?

OFFICER: Fraud.
Extortion. Forgery.

Oh, man, this is ridiculous.
We can explain all of that.

Okay. Go ahead.

You do it.

AJ; Can we take this
from the top once more?

First, it was our cousin who
wanted to go to a rock concert...

I need this in two copies.

Leave it on my desk. File
these permits, sweetheart.

I'm going, honey.

Bye, Daddy.

AJ; The problem started
when the concert was sold out.

DIANA: But, Officer, he
really is telling the truth!

Would you just listen to him?

Wait, wait. Let me try
one more time, all right?

Now, this is our cousin, Diane.
And she just moved into town, right?

Now, because
she's new in school,

she wants to make a good
impression on her classmates,

so she stayed in line all
night long trying to get tickets

to the Rick Brewster concert.

But when she got to the
window, they were sold out.

Of course they
were all sold out.

Rick Brewster's the
hottest act in rock 'n' roll.

Right, so... Come on.

Her aunt, that's our mother,
right? Her mother's sister said

that we could get her tickets...

Come on, let's go, Ricky.

Rick Brewster?

Then it is you!

Yeah, it's me, kid. Could
you keep it down, please?

Oh, Mr. Brewster, I have to tell
you it really is a thrill to meet you

in person like this.
It's a thrill for me, too.

Look, I really do have to go.

But could I at least
have your autograph?

Could you write to my fan club?

I got twelve people on salary that do
nothing but sign my autograph for me.

Look, I really do
have to rehearse.

Help! Wait! Wait! My car! Stop!

Police! Help, police!

My car! Somebody's stealing
my car, right over there!

There's a man, it's
my father's car and...

Where? Please!

That's another big
one we owe Janet.

It certainly is.

You, mister! Freeze!

Daddy?

Oh.

I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed,

I could just die.
This is my father.

RICK: Are you sure that you want to do
this right out here in the open like this?

Hey, I sell handcuffs.

Anybody asks, I'll just say
you two got a defective pair.

Well, are they all there?

Two hundred missing.

All right. Get on the phone.
Make sure our orders are still firm.

Tell everybody we'll
be delivering tonight.

Tell me something.

Have you ever heard of
somebody scalping tickets

for a concert for
seats that didn't exist?

I knew a guy once who was selling
tickets for a concert that didn't exist.

You know, if you just
wanted to get through the gate,

you could print up
a few counterfeits.

Yeah, but I'm not talking about a
few. I'm talking about a few thousand.

Gee.

Then you're gonna be stuck with a
few thousand people wandering around,

expecting to have seats. I
mean, people pay for seats,

they're not gonna settle for
sitting on the floor, you know.

It'd be a riot. Yeah,
and then some.

What if the seats are there?

Hey, now that would
be really heavy.

I mean, first the
seats aren't there,

then they are there,
then they aren't there...

No, the seats have
got to be there.

I mean, it's 8000 tickets.

Four performances, that's


How many seats does
the Bay Arena hold?

Fifteen thou.

So who's gonna know the difference
between 15,000 and 17,000?

Well, not a space cadet like
Rick Brewster, that's for sure.

Well, what if those tickets
are already on the street?

We'll have to leave
the country. Yeah.

But before we go, there's
someone I want to have a talk with.

Jim Bob. You got it.

Oh, the Great
Gordini strikes again.

What can I say?

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[ALL CLAMORING]

MAN: I can't see anything!

Smokey windows.

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]

[SIGHING]

[CHUCKLING]

[MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS TUNING]

I don't think this is a
good time to talk to him.

Maybe we ought to wait in
his office and surprise him.

Yeah.

DRUMMER: One, two, three.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[SINGING] If you've ever
wondered what I feel inside

The secrets I keep to myself

It's all very simple
I've nothing to hide

It's you that I want
No one else I want you

And nobody else, I want you

All to myself, I want you

And nobody else, I want you

I want to talk to you.

Sure. Come on, Willie.
Let's get out of here.

My feelings are hard to conceal

You never notice
'cause, girl, I get shy

I act tough to hide
how I feel I want you

And nobody else, I want you

Willie!

I want you

Nobody else, I want
you I just asked you.

Like you could spit
nails through a steel door.

Is that all you can
get out of this system?

You want to send
people home deaf?

I want it loud but
I want me louder.

Tonight's are already gone.

That's right, 350 seats.

Look, if you don't want them,
Eddie, there's other guys that will...

Okay, tonight.

Outside the arena
in about an hour.

I want you [MUSIC
ABRUPTLY STOPS]

Okay, everybody,
man, it's sounding great.

Let's get ready for a full
rehearsal and do it, man.

Hey, I want to know
what's going on, man.

The contract says


Now, how in the hell are there
supposed to be thousands of tickets on sale

for seats that don't exist?

[LAUGHING]

Well, Willie, I don't really think
it's that difficult to figure out.

Maybe I'm a little slow. Why
don't you spell it out for me?

I'd be happy to.

Rick Brewster stands up on that
stage and makes an ass out of himself

in front of 15,000 kids
that don't know any better.

But people like you and
me, we make this possible,

and I don't think
we get our fair share.

Now, your rock singer's not
gonna know the difference

if there's a few extra
seats in the hall, is he?

A few?

Two thousand per show.

Now, Willie, the reason
I'm telling you this

is because I like you, and
I'm gonna split with you.

But that jerk Brewster
don't need to know.

Hey, that jerk is a
friend of mine, man.

And we've worked a long
time to get where we are now,

and if you think a greedy...

Did I say you had any choice?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROANS]

How was that?

It's not bad for a sucker punch.

[CRACKING]

He's gonna need that.
I'd put it back if I was you.

Shut the suitcase.

I've had it with this guy!

Hold it! First things first.

Our friend Willie here is very
concerned about the overhead lights.

He's gonna have to get up on
the catwalk and check them out.

I told him to be very careful.

Yeah, it's real
dangerous up there.

A man could have
an accident for sure.

Do it as quick as possible.

We open the doors in an hour.

Keep them here
until the show starts.

Then take them out
through the basement.

[SINGING] All the wasted motion

[put into loving you

The promises are broken

And all the dreams
that won't come true

So close the door on paradise

This is our last goodbye

Can't stop the rain

Can't stop the
world from turning

Can't make you change

I thought I could
but I'm learning

You swear to me
you're changing, girl

But I'm all out of trying

Hey, where do you
think you're going?

Now, come on, put
that down. Sit down.

Hey, hey, hey,
don't get nervous.

You got the g*n, remember?

Well, sit down.

What're you gonna
do? You gonna sh**t me

and get blood all over
Jim Bob's carpet, huh?

Yeah. Now, sit down!

Catch.

[CHUCKLING]

Thought he was gonna fool
me on that one, didn't you?

You can't fool the old fox.

[GROANING]

You know, it's
only rock 'n' roll,

but really I think we ought to
make an effort to save Mr. Hoag.

Okay. You go down and get
all those people off of the stage.

I'll go up top and take
care of that, okay?

Can't make you change

I thought I could
but I'm learning

You swear to me
you're changing, girl

This is our last goodbye

Hold it!

Hold it right there!

ASA.!

Hey!

[WHISTLING]

Can't stop the rain

Can't stop the sun from rising

You'll never change

You can't blame
a fool for trying

[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[GROANS]

[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]

[ALL CHEERING]

You all right? Yeah.

It's only rock 'n'
roll, but I love it.

How do you do? Wonderful.

[GROANING] That hurts!

RICK: Hi.

Hi. Oh, hi.

You want a malt or anything?

No, thanks.

I figured, since you guys worked so
hard to do me a favor, I could do you one.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, Bo, my man!
This is terrific!

Thank you.

There's Bobby. Just a second.

RICK: Bobby? A.J.: Bobby.

Heads, you win, tails, I lose.

Bobby, this is my cousin,
A.J. Hey. How are you?

And my cousin Rick.
Hi. Nice to meet you

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Hi, fellas.

Could I speak to
you for a second?

Sure.

[WOMEN EXCLAIMING]

I was really rotten to you
yesterday, and I'd like to apologize.

Oh, that's okay. You
had a lot on your mind.

I did, but that's
still no excuse,

so I'm sorry.

Best seats in the
house. Front row.

And there's the autograph
that you asked for.

Does that mean you forgive me?

What?

I'll see you tonight
after the show.

Yeah, sure.

Bye.

Wow! I guess we
got tickets after all.

These three are for you.

Thanks.

Hey, since you went
to so much trouble,

maybe we ought to go together.

Then we could, you know, talk
to each other in between songs.

Okay.

Listen, you want me
to walk you home?

Yeah.

Listen. Yeah.

Do you think you could do something
about the Rolling Stones concert?

Come on, let's go.