01x13 - Tanks for the Memories

[bunniefuu]

[MEN LAUGHING]

Morning.

Enjoy it fast.

You're about to
become a traffic fatality.

Are you James T. Reedy?

You talkin' to me?

If you're James T. Reedy, I am.

[CLEARS THROAT]

James T. Reedy? Yeah.

You've been served.

Hit it.

Hey!

"Are you talking
to me?" I love it.

Rick.

I can still see the
look on his face.

Yeah, so can I.

[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING]

A.J., I'm proud of you.

That is, without a
doubt, the greatest driving

that I have seen since Ben-Hun

It was just glorious.

Did we lose them?

Piece of cake. There
was only half of them left

after you did the


And you ditched them when
you went on the off-ramp.

When I what?

One for you.

[TAPE REWINDING]

Hi, Rick, this is Lynn.

I've still got those jeans
you left at my place.

You know, the ones you ripped falling
off the mechanical bull down at Willy's,

When are you gonna drop by?

Drop by?

BOY: Have you
got pop in a bottle?

We”, then let him out.

If I ever find that kid, I'm
gonna take his pop bottle...

Richard and Andrew
Simon, this is Mrs. Bartlett

and I want to see you in
my room after school today,

[CHALK SQUEAKING]

BARTLETT: Richard!

Richard, you know
smoking is not allowed.

I'm taking you to the
principal's office right now.

You come with me, young man.

I'll call your
mother and father.

I'm gonna straighten you out
if it's the last thing I ever do.

BARTLETT: Richard, you
must do your homework.

Richard, your grades
are just above failing.

Richard, you must
discipline yourself

and become a
meaningful part of society.

BARTLETT ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
.., of which I'm the faculty supervisor.

Rick?

Yo.

Earth to Rick.

What's the statute of
limitations on bathroom smoking?

What?

Are you all right?

Yeah.

The funniest thing... It's probably
just the jalapenos I had with lunch,

but I could've sworn that we just
had a message from Mrs. Bartlett.

Yeah, we did.

[TAPE REWINDING]
Don't, don't. No, don't.

This is Mrs. Bartlett

and I want to see you in
my room after school today

if that's convenient for you.

It has to do with the '605
class reunion committee,

of which I'm the
faculty supervisor.

What're you doing?

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

Whoa.

RICK: Chuck Berry
doesn't live here anymore.

I'll say.

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

Hey, mister, how'd
you get into my locker?

Yeah, how'd you do that?

Well, it's really pretty easy.

You just give it a little
sh*t here on the left

and then another one
right over here on the right

and give a little kick like that
and it just pops right open.

That's me.

Hey, it's him. We've
read all about you.

BOY 1: Wow, you're everywhere.
Cafeteria tables, homeroom desks.

BOY 2: Man, you're a legend.

Andrew!

Mrs. Bartlett.

My best little debater.

Oh.

It's good to see you again.

You haven't changed a bit.

Well, most of my
kids keep me young,

despite those who try their
best to age me prematurely.

Hello, Richard.

Ma'am.

Thank you both for coming.

Come right in.

And now I'll give
you the reason.

We have here what I
believe you in your trade

call missing persons.

And since we're fortunate enough

to count San Diego's most
prestigious private investigators

among our alumni,

we'd like you to find
them before the reunion.

Well, Sharon Williams
shouldn't be too tough.

You just start with the '61 varsity
football team and work your way backward.

Do you think you'll
be able to do it?

Well, Mrs. Bartlett,
as a matter of fact,

we successfully concluded
another case just this morning.

So I think we'll be
able to give this priority

over all the others that
we have stacked up.

After all, it is the old school.

Wonderful, thank you
both for volunteering.

Everyone's been so good about
giving freely of their time and services.

Now, Roland Weiry's
restaurant is catering.

At cost.

Well, on the other hand,
I'm sure I could donate

a few hours to track
down a few people.

That's the spirit.

Of course you will
help your brother?

Well, gee, Mrs. B., I'd
love to, you know, but,

why, somebody's gotta
keep that agency afloat,

and I'll tell you what I'll do.

A.J., I'll take care of
all the office work...

Richard.

Ma'am. Do you see this?

Yes, ma'am.

I made notes on some of your,

shall we say, extra-curricular
activities during your years here.

I figured they might
come in handy someday.

I went into some detail
on your senior year.

If you follow me.

[STAMMERING]

Mrs. Bartlett, that's blackmail.

Besides, what are the
police gonna care about

what some juvenile
delinquent did 20 years ago?

The police?

I think you'd better see
to whom it's addressed.

Here are the rest
of the yearbooks.

I found them buried in the attic under
four pounds of dust and a ton of memories.

[PANTING]

I think it's very nice that
you're helping out Mrs. Bartlett.

I haven't talked to her
in years. How is she?

Well...

In actual fact, Mom, I think she's getting
to be a little bit senile, you know.

I mean, she's obviously
confusing me with somebody else

and it's kind of sad.

So just keep it in mind if you ever
happen to bump into her, okay?

And how did they rope
you into the time tunnel?

Are you kidding? I would
not miss seeing these pictures

for anything in the world.

You've got to see this one.
You've got to see this one.

Look at Rick's flattop. You
could've landed a 747 on that.

Wait a minute, what
does it say here?

"Dear Rick, happy graduation.

"I'll never forget all those times
you forged our hall passes and..."

No, there's more.

"And we snuck into the chemistry
lab to do some extra studying."

Ha-ha.

"And the night you showed
me the wrestling room."

I'm just happy you
passed chemistry.

You'd think Doug Sullivan
would've been the first person

to respond to
your class reunion.

He was your senior
class president.

He stuffed the ballot box.

Captain of the championship
basketball team.

Yeah, in the weakest
year in conference history.

ROTC.

Chicken-neck little tin soldier.

Stole Ginny Edwards from you.

Hey, hey, hey. I
broke up with her.

Well, maybe we
better hear his side of it.

Yeah, we tried. Leave
it under the door.

Hey. RICK: What?

Weird. The manager
said he still lived here.

Wait till old lady
Bartlett finds out

her precious
Dougie is a deadbeat.

He skipped out on the rent.

Did you ever hear
of a phone company

disconnecting a phone like this?

Probably stiffed them, too. Mmm.

[SIGHS]

RICK: A.J. Take a look at this.

Stocking up for the winter?

Whoa. Hey.

Take it easy, pal. Now, we're
just here to find Doug Sullivan

to invite him to a
high school reunion.

That's the invitation
right there. That's...

A.J.: "And even though I am
unable to attend the reunion,

"I want you to now you
are the one person in my life

"who has supplied
me with the tools

"and given me the courage
to survive in a world gone mad.

"You'll never know how much I appreciate
all those times you let me clean your

"erasers.

"I wouldn't mind cleaning a few for you
right now, but I guess I'm beyond that.

"Love, Douglas."

"Clean your erasers"?

It was a little signal we had.

Doug was too proud to ask for
extra help with his schoolwork.

So you mean Mr. National
Honor Society needed tutoring?

The door was open
to you, too, Richard.

Only you never asked. I
owe you both an apology.

Doug's letter was a cry for help

and I should have been honest
with you from the beginning.

Yeah.

After I received it,
I tried calling him.

His phone was out of service.

He had no family to be
concerned about him.

So I put his name
on that list I gave you.

You should've reported his
disappearance to the police.

I did. They put his
name on their list,

but they said they couldn't
do much about it, but you can.

I'm not asking you to volunteer.

This time I'm hiring you.

No, you're not.

Your money's no good with us.

Besides which you probably couldn't afford
our rates, not on a teacher's salary.

And it might just
surprise you to hear

that I did learn something
while I was here,

only it didn't come from you.

It came from Coach Kaminsky.
I learned how not to quit.

Now we're gonna find Doug
Sullivan for you on the house.

Come on, AJ.

I think what he's trying to
say is, we'll take the case.

A.J.: No, it was on his right...

Right? Yeah.

Yeah, on his right forearm.

A fire breathing dragon
clutching a sword.

No, that's all we could get.

So if you could cross reference
that on your arrest records...

Great.

Maxine, you are a doll.

I'd be thrilled to take you
to the police benefit ball.

Oh, great, sure, get one more.

We'll fix her up with Rick.

Oh, he loves lady vice officers.

Thank you, Maxine.

We'll see you then.

You're getting good with those.

You want to see how
good I'm getting with these?

Come on, she says Bertha
has a great personality.

Bertha?

Come on.

Let's check out the place
where Doug got this stuff.

I'll tell you, Hansel and
Gretel left an easier trail.

I just hope Doug
Sullivan is still alive.

'Cause when we find
him, I'm gonna k*ll him.

Wonderful.

Darwin meets 7-Eleven.

Thunder, pull back.
Can I help you?

Uh-huh. We're just browsing.

Don't worry, he only att*cks
commies and cowards. Yeah.

Now what can I do for you? I got a special
on some freeze-dried turkey tetrazine.

Oh, thank you. We just
want to ask a few questions.

Sure. You obviously don't
know nothing about survival.

Look at the shape you're in.

You need to start thinking about where
you'll be when they turn out the lights.

Well, we're looking for an old buddy
of ours, a guy named Doug Sullivan.

Look, we're not real big
on names here, mister.

No, yeah. Of course
not. Neither are we.

Just that Doug said he might be
interested in joining this little, uh,

community that we're
establishing in this area.

Yeah, bunch of
old service buddies,

we're getting together
to form this little

agrarian society,
if you follow me.

And we're gonna need a lot of stuff
'cause we're starting from scratch.

Why didn't you say so?

Yeah, Doug's a
regular here. Good guy.

You know, he was ready
for the big one. Yeah.

It's funny, he told you guys he
was interested in joining your group.

Why is that?

'Cause he's already
hooked up with another outfit.

A real serious outfit.

A bunch of them came
in here with him once.

Ex-rangers is my guess.

I mean, when we're
all ducking fallout,

I wouldn't wanna try borrowing
firewood from these guys, you know?

Yeah. Are they set up
somewhere in this area?

Yeah, up in the
mountains, somewhere.

I think I heard Doug
say they had some land...

Great, we'll look
them up. Thank you.

Hey, how about a
freeze-dried sandwich?

I'll heat it up for
you in the mic.

That's okay, we'll come back when
we're ready to stock up. Thanks.

Look, I wouldn't
wait too long. No.

You don't wanna wake up
tomorrow and find yourself glowing.

No, wouldn't want to do that.
We'll keep that in mind. Absolutely.

Listen, I got a special on
armor-plated RVs. Uh-huh.

They get lousy mileage, but by the
end there won't be any gas anyway.

That's right. Well,
we'll see you later.

Would you mind telling me
why you hustled us out of there?

That guy was only
just beginning to talk.

Yeah, but we've got an
appointment with Gerald.

He's going to meet us at
the office in half an hour.

[EXCLAIMING]

We'd better b*at him there.

Gerald is one man I do
not like to keep waiting.

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

Let Marlowe go in first.
Marlowe, come here.

Go on in there, go on.

He's not here yet.

Thank God.

[ALL SCREAMING]

Boy, you guys are easy.

In light of recent events,
that is not amusing.

If you guys come by
my dojo more often,

you wouldn't get as much
sand kicked in your face.

[GRUNTING]

This week

it's not sand.

Two more of those where that
came from. What do you think?

Shurikens and Japanese throwing
stars are very common these days.

You know, you can even get them
out of the ads in the macho magazines?

But this is special.

Tempered steel, nice
design and weight.

This isn't farm team, boys.

This is major league.

Yeah, well, we would like to find
out what franchise this guy plays for.

Was he an Oriental?

Who knows?

He wore a mask and
came through like a tornado.

He had a tattoo
on his right forearm.

A fire breathing dragon with a sword in
its claws. You know anybody like that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was
a guy a couple of years back.

He was in competition.

I never fought him
but I heard about him.

Ex-Green Beret, I think.

[PHONE RINGING]

Oops, excuse me.

Hello. Oh, Maxine,
you got anything?

A firearms violation
in 1965 for Paul Stark?

Maxine, you are wonderful.

Listen, what's the most recent
paperwork on him? Also, any location if...

What? He was?

In 1979, that's from the FBI?

Okay.

Right. Well, thank you
very much anyway, Maxine.

And we'll see you
guys next week.

Bye-bye.

His name was Paul Stark.

What do you mean was?

He was k*lled fighting as a
mercenary in Rhodesia in 1979.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll tell you what.

You let me do all the talking

and you just sit there
and look demented, okay?

You sure about this place?

Well, I've heard
about it for years.

It's kind of a club
for soldiers of fortune.

You know, a guy walks in the
front door and then out the back

to Africa or South
America or some place.

Stay out.

Was he flying standby?

RICK: Cold steel and warm women.

Death to tyrants.

Apocalypse Now,

You new?

Is the Congo new? Is Angola new?

How about Rhodesia,
El Salvador, they new?

I'm as old as the
hills and twice as wild.

To the best damn
warrior I ever served with.

To Paul Stark.

You'll doff your hat when
you speak of the dead.

You know damn well Paul Stark
never took his hat off in his life.

Except to smooth a
woman or to fill it with gold.

That was Paul, wasn't it, lad?

You knew him well, didn't you?

[LAUGHING]

And I'll buy a drink for any man
who fought with the likes of him.

How is that, aye?

Barkeep, doubles
for me mates here,

and I'll have a little toddle
for myself, if you don't mind.

You got it.

Paul Stark.

Here's to your health.

So there we were, pinned down,

and here comes Mad
Mike and his half-track.

And it whips up, and what
it does is it sprays the bush

with hot lead for a
good five minutes.

Now, when the smoke settles,

and everything quiets down,

out from the bush
comes this one,

tiny little zebra.

Have you ever had fresh zebra?

No, I can't say I have.

Well, it's not too bad
with barbecue sauce.

I'll have another
if I may, there.

Hey, Barn, come here.

You and me, we're good enough
buddies, we can be straight, right?

What would you say

if I was to tell you

that I... Thank
you. Saw Paul Stark

last week, alive and well.

Paul Stark?

Mmm-hmm.

I'd say meet me
outside in half an hour.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Whoa.

Steady as she goes there.

Old Lady Bartlett owes
us an A-plus for this.

[SIGHS]

Aha.

[BOTH EXCLAIMING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

What the hell is going on here?

You said you wanted to
talk about Paul Stark, right?

Actually, there isn't that
much to talk about, you know.

Get in.

Getting in.

Now, you're never going to
believe this. This is so funny, see...

We were trying to find this guy
we went to high school with...

AGENT: If you don't start
giving us some answers,

we're gonna send
you down the hall,

where the questions get tougher.

Now, what do you
know about Paul Stark?

Now, for the hundredth time,

some yo-yo with a dragon
tattooed on his right arm,

jumped us while we were
looking for Doug Sullivan

to invite him to our
high school reunion.

High school reunion.

Must be some kind of code.

I'll put the crypto
boys on it right away.

Make it priority alpha.

I can't hold off
much longer now.

If Vincent doesn't get
back in contact with us, it...

Well, it means I have to
assume he's been made.

That puts...

What're you thinking?

I'm thinking that maybe these two
guys might be telling us the truth.

It was just a high
school reunion. That's all.

Sure.

Keep it up and you're gonna have
a nice little reunion at Leavenworth.

Hey, look, don't pull that
G-man jive with me, man.

Now, we know our rights and from
the way you've been playing with them,

you're gonna be
the one doing time.

Entrapment, deprivation
of civil liberties...

[SIGHS] Look fellas, I
think we can talk to you.

You seem reasonable.

Sarge, I just had a little
talk with Uncle Sugar.

He seems to think we can make a
nice sweet little deal with you boys

if you wanna rock and
roll with us on this one.

I'd love to boogie with
the FBI, but it's the truth.

Well, you know that's all
we're looking for, fellas.

Just a little more honesty,
that's all, you know.

Maybe you could tell us a little
bit about the Vargas mission.

Like, who's in charge of it?

Who? What?

Who's your contact?

You think we ought
to tell them about her?

Only if they promise
to bring her down here.

You give us her name, we'll
have her here in 10 minutes.

Dorothy Bartlett.

Where do we find her?

Homeroom?

BARTLETT: Mr. Hoover
would turn over in his grave

if he knew that his agents were
spiriting away helpless old ladies

and subjecting them
to strip-searches.

Mrs. Bartlett, we don't know
anything about a Doug Sullivan,

missing or not.

We have our own
cases we're working on.

Huh.

Underachievers only
do what they're assigned.

Never read ahead.

Wouldn't dare tackle
another problem.

Well, let me tell you something.

Those who only
color inside the lines,

end up with a very dull picture.

Richard, Andrew.

[BOTH SIGHING]

Strip-searching old
ladies. That's low.

Now that's rock and roll.

Kindly do me a favor, will you?

For your own sake.

You happen to stumble on
a shipment of Harrison M215,

you give me a call, huh?

It may keep you alive.

Look, we could go to the bench

and order up a
Nat Security freeze.

That'll take them
out of the game.

No, I want those
two to operate freely.

We're lucky they
stumbled on the board.

It's like getting
two free pawns.

No, I'm not gonna
do it. He's a friend.

Well, then you shouldn't feel so bad about
asking him a couple of lousy questions.

What are friends for?

Now, look, it's not like we're
asking for classified information.

All we want him to do is
to go through army records

and see if anybody named
Vargas ever served with Paul Stark.

Oh, also ask him if he knows anything
about some stolen Harrison M215.

And that name, Vargas.

That might not be a person.
That could be, you know,

like a m*llitary code for
some kind of operation.

Maybe your friend has a
good security clearance.

I don't know. What?
Harrison M, M what?

Oh, M215. It's an
anti-t*nk w*apon.

Very popular in the
international arms market.

And the name is Vargas.

I mean, as long as
the FBI gave us the key,

we may as well
find the door, right?

MYRON: I'll be
happy to show you.

You know, it's a
little too early for this.

Oh, you want us to
come back a little later?

It'll still be a
little too early.

Is business that bad

or are you just trying
to scare mine away?

Myron, it just so happens
we are working undercover

on a very important
missing persons case.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's nice to hear
you guys are back in high school.

Will you let me know if you need
some help with your homework?

[MYRON CHUCKLING]

Janet, I won't be
back after lunch.

I'm playing golf at
Mission Bay. Okay.

You'll call your
army friend, please?

Do you know the contacts that I am
just burning out for this stupid reunion?

And it's not even
my reunion, A.J.

[SIGHS]

All right. Thank you.

Rick, it's all right.
I said I would do it.

Maps.

Maps?

What, did they use
shock treatment last night?

We're gonna need maps of
the foothills and the mountains,

but especially the mountains.

Maps. Of course!

Thank Myron for helping
us with our homework.

Look, it's not the Vargas
Mission, it's the Mission Vargas.

See, it's not a
person or a code.

BOTH: It's a place.

BOTH: It's the Mission Vargas.

Got it? Bye.

Bye.

A.J.: Wow, what a
place to go to survive.

RICK: Smartest place to be.

Who'd want to nuke this?

You know, it may be smart for them
to be out here, but it's crazy for us.

I mean, suppose we do find
Doug Sullivan's new classmates.

What are we gonna do with them?

Don't worry about it. We'll just follow
the advice of an old buddy of mine.

Two things in this world
you need to survive.

Ice water in your veins
and insanity in your brains.

Great. Where is
that old buddy now?

Making ashtrays
in the state hospital.

Howdy, boys. Howdy.

Fill her up.

RICK: Nice jacket.

Yeah, it was a lousy w*r.

Yeah, well, we'll
get them next time.

Listen, maybe you can
help us with some directions.

We only got four around here.

Well, we're looking for
some friends of ours.

They own a little
land around here.

Yeah?

What do they grow?

Real mean after a few beers.

Soldier name of Paul Stark.
Ring any bells with you?

MAN: You say you're
friends of his, huh?

Want to do a little
business with him.

Okay, take Route 4.

About an hour out of here.

And you didn't hear it from me.

Got it? From who?

That'll be 12 bucks even.

Thanks.

Thanks for the service.

Well, you can't believe
everything you read.

I guess survivalists are
big on long driveways.

Well, it discourages
door-to-door salesmen.

You know, I can't figure out
why someone like Doug Sullivan

would get mixed up in all this.

Serves him right for snaking
Ginny Edwards away from me.

I was gonna dump her anyway.

Hey, did you see
something move out there?

Would you take it easy?
It's a little early for paranoia.

Early, huh?

What the hell are these
guys doing out here?

I don't know, but
I get the feeling

they're not baking
bread and raising babies.

What do we do
now, Mr. Ice Water?

Get the wagon in a circle.

VINCENT: Gentlemen, welcome
to Base Camp Wasteland.

Now what can we do for you?

[g*ns f*ring]

What was that?

I can't hear you.

[GROANING]

Did you hear what
he just said about me?

[GROANING]

Bravo, very good.
Very, very good.

[CHUCKLING]

Now that you've
shown me who you are,

let me introduce myself.

Colonel Paul Stark.

But you can call me sir.

Well, now, don't
just kneel there.

Get up, son. Get up.

RICK: Well, you see,
Colonel, in our line of work

we don't much like
uninvited guests either.

But, as you can well imagine,

it's not the easiest thing to
solicit over the telephone.

I mean, you don't exactly, pick up
the phone and dial a toll-free number

and order maybe 1,000 rounds of
nine millimeter amm*nit*on, do you?

Which we are prepared to deliver

one week from order,
no questions asked.

Or perhaps you would like to hear
about our new line of submachine g*ns.

Now we've got...

Oh, we've got Ingrams, we've
got Uzis, we've got Sterlings...

[PIN FALLING]

And factory fresh,
ready for delivery.

And if you want a small
insurrection, you've got it.

You wanna throw a
bigger party, it's yours.

No problem.

Now, why don't you tell the
colonel about this month's special?

Of course.

For the as*ault force
that has everything,

two brand new Harrison
M21 anti-t*nk devices.

And we're prepared
to throw in 80?



for you, sir, because
you're a patriot.

It's a little game we played when
things got slow at Firebase Charlie.

Now, don't let me interrupt you.

Yes, well...

How are you fixed for grenades?

Now, we've got frags,
concussion, percussions, smoke...

And if you buy right now,

you can take advantage of our two
for one on 50 yards of garrote wire.

Of course, all our products

are fully backed by our
personal exclusive guarantee.

However, all sales are final.

[CLEARING THROAT]

Fire.

As we all know,

fire means power.

Oh, yeah.

Put those two together.

Firepower!

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

The logic of it is so clear,

so pristine.

Peace through firepower.

Yeah.

That's the only way
for all of us, any of us.

Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

Well, why don't we give you
some time to think about it,

say, about a week, and
then we'll come... Yeah.

Think about it?

I don't need to think about it!

I live it.

Yes,

a very effective
sales presentation.

You gentlemen will
leave and return tomorrow.

We'll have an
order for you then.

That's superb.
Oh, that's terrific.

Show these men to
their accommodations.

Oh, no, that's very hospitable of
you, Colonel, but we just checked in...

We don't want to
impose or anything...

Firepower. Mmm-hmm.

You have come
at a very good time.

[CHUCKLING]

Hey, guys, you don't have to
go to all this trouble, you know.

We could just jump right
back in our truck, and...

Where's the truck? We're
gonna wash it for you.

Oh, thank you.

You got a phone anywhere around?

I'd like to make a few calls.
There's a phone in the guest tent.

Oh, posh accommodations,
I can see that right now.

Thank you.

It's for you.

Collect call from Rod Serling.

We're in great shape. Oh, yeah.

That's what the guy said standing
around the piano bar on the Hindenburg.

Hey, look, we're in.
They bought our cover.

As soon as it gets dark we recon
the joint, we find Doug Sullivan.

And then what?

We all go out and
share a few laughs

with Colonel Stark
raving mad out there

and skip merrily along home?

I tell you, we are so
far upstream, Rick,

the last salmon we saw
was waving goodbye.

A.J., you better find a
place to park it and sit down.

Now, you're
beginning to lose it.

Don't wanna wind up like
Colonel Crackpot, out there.

You talk about flying
with an empty gunship.

RICK: That sucker must've
sat in on one air strike too many.

I mean, what movie is
he watching anyway, man?

From Here to Insanity?

Rick. And that stuff about
peace through firepower,

I mean, there is
no question about it.

That guy is a AWOL.
Absolute Whack-O Lunatic.

Of course, he's
crazy like a fox.

As a matter of fact, he's
probably listening to us right now.

And I was only kidding
about that, you know,

because all great leaders
have a terrific sense of humor.

[MACHINE g*n f*ring]

How's that for a
punchline, maggot?

Oh, you're gonna get to love
my sense of humor, all right.

'Cause we're gonna sit
up all night telling jokes.

I'm gonna find out how
funny you guys really are.

Take them to the penthouse.

Doug Sullivan?

Hallucination is the
first sign of insanity.

Are you real

or am I crazy?

Both.

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

I wanted Sullivan dead.

You're the one that talked
me into keeping him alive.

You promised General Sanchez 40 commandos
and you need every man you've got.

I don't need
cowards like Sullivan.

He didn't know what
he was getting into.

What does he think
we're training for here?

A high school football game?

Man, we are spearheading
a m*llitary coup!

The General's not gonna like
you pushing up the jump-off.

We may not be able to
get air cover for the landing.

Just get on the
horn to San Leone

and tell them to
change the landing zone.

We mount up and head
south tomorrow morning.

What are we gonna do about
Sullivan and our new guests?

Call an air strike
on them at dawn.

All three of them.

Well, Dougie,

how does it feel to be voted
"Guy most likely to die"?

How the hell did
you get here, man?

You had it made, you
could've played varsity for life.

You know what it's
like to reach the high

point of your life when
you're 18 years old?

Hmm?

I was on top.

That meant I had
nowhere to go but down.

I was looking for something
to feel good about.

I wanted to make the team.

Any team.

When I ran into this
group, they were talking

inner strength, self-reliance.

[SIGHS]

I needed to prove myself
to guys who'd been there.

Stark and the others,

first string.

Well, there's one
big difference.

The game they're playing doesn't
have any homecoming floats

or cheerleaders or
pompom girls or morality.

Or conscience or mercy.

Man, I'll tell you.
For a guy with a 4.0,

he has got all the
brains of a football.

Now be quiet and listen if you
want to get out of here alive.

And I'm sorry about this
afternoon. My name's Vincent.

You didn't know it, but you
brought me a message. The M215.

Yeah, it's a bureau
code for evacuation.

I've been under radio
silence for three weeks.

Now, Stark may be crazy but
he knew we had him infiltrated.

You're FBI? That's right.

And right about dawn, we're gonna be
ground zero for a chopper as*ault team

and I don't plan on being here.

The truck's parked
right out front.

If we can get through the gate

without waking up
Stark, we'll be all right.

Let's go.

Can you walk? SULLIVAN: Yeah.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

Hey, psst.

How long after we start her up

are the guards gonna be on us?

That's seconds.
They're light sleepers.

Let's push it to the gate.

STARK: Thank you, Mr. Vincent.

You know how I
enjoy night maneuvers.

Colonel, w*r games are over.

My people know everything.

It's time to give
up your command.

Surrender?

Nuts.

I can help you, Colonel.

The Army takes care of its own!

You're a decorated
veteran. A respected man.

We can help you.

It's just that your methods
have become a little unsound.

You are a traitor.
Muster the troops!

[ENGINE REVVING]

[SCREAMING]

You know,

we may not have
gotten paid for this case,

but it was worth every penny
just to see the look on your face

when Mrs. Bartlett kissed you
in front of the entire reunion.

Blew my credibility
for half the class.

Well, not with Ginny Edwards.

Well, that's true. The best
thing about reliving old times

is you get to start
some new ones.

Oh, she's just the way
I remembered her, too.

[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING]