01x01 - Fortune Is Unpredictable and Mutable

[bunniefuu]

[ATSUSHI] One bowl of tea on rice...

[ATSUSHI] Pickled plums, slivered nori ,

and leftover chicken...

All doused in piping-hot water,

then shoveled in with salted kelp.

[ATSUSHI] That was so good...

All those bowls of tea on rice

I'd sneak into the kitchen to make at the orphanage...

[ATSUSHI grunts]

[ATSUSHI] Damn it...

I'm gonna die of hunger.

[ATSUSHI] My name is Atsushi

And due to unfortunate circumstances,

I'm gonna die from starvation.

[ATSUSHI] After being thrown out of the orphanage,

I had nothing to eat, nowhere to sleep

and, of course, not a cent to my name.

And I don't even have the courage to steal to survive.

That's how I've arrived at my current predicament...

[ATSUSHI] However...

If I wish to live,

I have no choice but to steal and take from others!

[ORPHANAGE MAN ] Get out, you good-for-nothing!

[ORPHANAGE MAN ] No orphanage wants someone like you!

[ORPHANAGE WOMAN ] The world would be a better place

if you'd just die in a ditch somewhere!

[ATSUSHI] Shut up... Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up! Shut uuuup!

[ATSUSHI] "Die in a ditch"?

I won't let that happen! Just you wait!

I am gonna live, no matter what!

Right! I'm gonna rush the first person who comes along,

and then steal everything they've got!

Huh?!

Maybe someone going a little slower?

Okay, the next person!

Hah!

[m*llitary TROOP] Hut, two, three, four!

Hut, two, three, four!

Hut, two, three, four! Hut, two, three, four!

I don't imagine the m*llitary police carry wallets

while they are in training.

Next time...

...and this time I really mean it!

You're mine, man!

Uh... Uh... Eh...

H-He wasn't quite what I had in mind.

[bubbling sounds]

Uh, I'll let that one pass, thanks.

He'll be okayyyy...

Fine!

[splash]

[pants]

[ATSUSHI gasps]

You were floating down the river...

Are you okay?

I made it.

Damn.

What's that?

Did this guy just say "damn"?

[OSAMU] Tell me: Are you the one who interrupted my submersion?

You don't remember?

Yes, I saved your life.

Wait! "Submersion"?

You don't get it?

I was trying...

...to k*ll myself.

[ATSUSHI] S-su1c1de?!

Sure.

And I think everything was going just swimmingly.

But you... interfered and ruined my day.

[ATSUSHI] Uhhh.. Is he scolding me for saving him?

[OSAMU] It's not all your fault.

My goal is to commit a completely clean su1c1de

without burdening anyone.

Yet, I did trouble you, so really the fault lies with me.

I should apologize or better still, make it up to you.

Are you by chance... hungry?

[ATSUSHI] Well...

The truth is I haven't eaten in several days.

How odd. I'm also hungry.

[ATSUSHI] Lucky coincidence!

But I'm afraid the river has taken my wallet.

[ATSUSHI groans]

Just my luck.

[DOPPO] There you are, you troublesome blockhead!

[OSAMU] Oh, hey...

You found me.

Nice work, Kunikida.

[DOPPO] "Nice work"?

And just who caused all this "work," you suicidal maniac?!

I've had enough of this.

Do you realize

how often you disrupt my schedule with your shenanigans?!

Hey, I know! I just had a great idea.

He's a colleague of mine from work.

Let's have him treat you to a meal.

Hey, are you even listening to me?!

So tell me, what's your name?

Ehh... Atsushi Nakajima, sir.

Very good. Why don't you come with me, Atsushi?!

What would you like to eat?

[ATSUSHI] Um... Well, if it's not too much trouble...

Oh, come on, there's no need to hold back!

I'd really love some tea on rice.

[OSAMU] Hmm?

[laughs]

So a boy on the brink of starvation

wants to eat tea on rice?

Very well, let's have Kunikida treat you

to large bowls of it!

Don't you get all generous with my money, Dazai!

[ATSUSHI] Hmm?

You're Dazai?

[OSAMU] Yep, that's my name.

It's a pleasure to meet you, my new friend.

I'm Osamu Dazai.

[DOPPO] You're unreliable, and you're a fool, Dazai.

Who says, "Wow, that's a nice river," and then jumps into it

in the middle of a job?!

Now we're late.

I'll have to revise our whole schedule.

You're obsessed with your schedules, Kunikida.

Ugh! This book isn't just some day planner.

This is an ideal.

This is my sole guide in life!

And nowhere in this book is it written

that my co-worker should be a suicidal maniac!

You mean he's tried to k*ll himself before?

Be quiet!

And nowhere in my projected expenses

is there a line item for a million bowls of tea on rice

for a snot-nosed kid!

What kinda work are you in?

And now he's got questions.

Well, you keep talking about it.

Fine, I'll tell you.

It involves the m*llitary.

How are you two communicating, with each other?

[ATSUSHI, OSAMU] Hmm?

[ATSUSHI] Oh... I'm so full.

I've had enough rice to last me a good ten years!

I strongly suggest you show a little gratitude

after you ate this on my dime!

[ATSUSHI] You're a real lifesaver.

[DOPPO] Hmm?

I came to Yokohama straight from the orphanage.

I've had nothing to eat and nowhere to sleep since.

I thought I'd starve to death.

You're from... an orphanage?

[ATSUSHI] I was, yes.

But they kicked me out.

Sounds like a real philanthropic organization.

Look, Dazai!

We're not a couple of do-gooders going around

helping hard luck cases.

We've got a job to do.

That reminds me,

you said that your current job involves the m*llitary.

What kind of work do you do?

We're private... investigators.

Investigators?

[DOPPO] But we handle more than lost pets and cheating spouses.

Our office has... uniquely gifted investigators.

We're the Armed Detective Agency.

[gasps]

[ATSUSHI] I've heard of the Armed Detective Agency.

But I thought those were stories...

Tales of an agency specializing in cases

that can't be entrusted to the police or the m*llitary...

An armed force that straddled the natural

and supernatural worlds.

But there was even more,

I'd heard that many members of this elite agency possess...

...supernatural powers...

Am I in the presence of two super humans?

Huh?

Ahh!

Check out that support beam up there!

Huh?

Don't even think about hanging yourself in this teahouse!

I'm not. I'm thinking of the "hanging health technique."

What are you talking about?

[OSAMU] What?! You don't know?!

It's so good for releasing muscle tension

and shoulder cramps!

[DOPPO] Whoa! That would be perfect for me!

[OSAMU] It would, you should write this down!

This effective technique is the hanging health method...

I'm messing with you.

[ATSUSHI] Are these two weirdos actually

with the Armed Detective Agency?

...partner leaps into a river, but it doesn't end there!

No! Then I have to foot the bill for an ungrateful kid

on death's door to stuff himself.

My schedule for today was perfect,

but now I have to start over from square one!

So, about the job you said you're both working on...

What?!

[ATSUSHI] Sorry, sorry, sorry!

I really shouldn't have asked!

Right, that was my mistake.

Of course your jobs are classified!

Please forgive me and don't hurt me!

Actually, since you mentioned it,

today's job doesn't require any secrecy.

It's for the government...

We're looking for a tiger.

A tiger?

[OSAMU] Yes, a ferocious man-eater

who's recently appeared in the city.

Well, not that we know for sure it's devoured anyone,

but it's ransacked warehouses, eaten farm animals,

and caused general chaos.

The authorities have received

all kinds of scary reports about it.

[tinkling of falling glass]

What's wrong, Atsushi?

I... I... I'll be leaving now.

G-Good-bye.

[DOPPO] Not so fast.

Do you know something you're not sharing with us?

[ATSUSHI] Don't try.

There's no way you can stop that animal!

Really now?

Tell us what you know about the tiger.

It's after me.

It almost k*lled me!

If it's been seen around here, I have to go, now!

Please!

I'm begging you. Just let me go.

Look, kid!

You'll either pay for the food with your arm

or tell us everything.

[OSAMU] Now, now, Kunikida.

Whenever you ask questions,

it quickly deteriorates into an interrogation.

You've been talked to you about this.

[OSAMU] Let me try.

Okay, now what do you know about this tiger?

That tiger kept attacking my orphanage.

It ruined our vegetable garden. It decimated our chicken coop

and emptied out our food warehouse.

I mean no one d*ed,

but the orphanage was already on a tight budget.

I got kicked out so that they'd have one less mouth to feed.

I don't have a home because of that tiger.

Get out, you good-for-nothing!

[ORPHANAGE WOMAN ] The world would be a better place

if you'd just die in a ditch somewhere!

Why me? I didn't do anything.

[ORPHANAGE MAN ] We don't need worthless leeches like you!

[ORPHANAGE MAN ] You're not welcome here,

and you'll never find a place where you do belong!

[ORPHANAGE MAN ] Just go!

I hope you rot in hell!

[OSAMU] Well, that's a tragic tale.

But back to the tiger.

You said it almost k*lled you.

[ATSUSHI] It shows up wherever I go.

Like it's tracking me.

Hunting me down so it can pounce and tear me to shreds.

Recently,

when I was walking around the Tsurumi neighborhood...

[growling]

[ATSUSHI gasps]

[MAN] It's a tiger!

Lookout everyone!

[woman screaming]

[ATSUSHI] I started seeing it two weeks

before the orphanage expelled me.

But I've caught glimpses of it many times since then.

My instinct tells me it's come to the city hunting me.

When was the last time you saw the tiger stalking you?

Uh...

I think I saw it in Tsurumi four days ago.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

That makes sense.

Reports of a wild tiger started coming in two weeks ago.

And then...

...it was sighted again in Tsurumi only four days ago.

[OSAMU] Hm...

Atsushi, are you free tonight?

[ATSUSHI] Geh!!

I have a really bad feeling about this...

[OSAMU] You being the man-eater's target

presents an excellent opportunity.

[ATSUSHI] Huh?

Would you please help us find the tiger?

[ATSUSHI] Forget it! No way!

[OSAMU] Kunikida, please give this to the Agency president.

The two of you are going to catch this animal?

We should confirm his information first.

It'll be fine.

[ATSUSHI] I'm not doing this, okay?!

I know what you're thinking!

You're planning to use me as bait!

--There's no-- --There's a reward, y'know.

There's a what now?

A reward?

No, I can't...

You are not gonna tempt me with a little money!

But just so that I'm totally clear about my decision,

how big is the reward for this case?

[OSAMU] This much.

[shrieks]

[ATSUSHI] Dazai, sorry to interrupt you,

but what are you reading?

[OSAMU] A good book.

[ATSUSHI] I'm surprised you can read when it's this dark.

[OSAMU] I have excellent nighttime vision.

Besides, I've read it before.

I know everything that happens in this book.

That's funny. Then why are you reading it again?

[OSAMU] A good book is always good.

Uh...

Do you really think the tiger will track me down

and come here?

[OSAMU] I know it will.

[gasps]

[OSAMU] But don't worry.

When it shows up, it'll be no match for me.

I may not look tough, but I'm with the Agency for good reason.

I admire your confidence.

In fact I'm kind of jealous.

They called me a good-for- nothing at the orphanage

as far back as I can remember.

And now, I don't even know where I'll sleep tonight

or how I'll get through tomorrow.

Get out, you good-for-nothing!

[ORPHANAGE MAN ] No matter how long you search,

you'll never find a place where you belong!

[ATSUSHI] No one would mind if I d*ed in a ditch somewhere

or just disappeared forever.

Yeah, maybe I would be better off getting eaten by a tiger...

Well, then...

I think it'll be soon.

[crashing]

What?!

I just heard something back there.

[OSAMU] Yes, me too.

[ATSUSHI] It's probably the tiger, Dazai!

Not quite.

I think the wind just knocked something down.

It's the man-eater!

It tracked me down to eat me!

[OSAMU] Calm down, Atsushi.

Tigers don't suddenly appear out of nowhere.

How do you know that for sure?!

[OSAMU] Because something's not right with your story.

Huh?

[OSAMU] Just because their finances went south,

why would an orphanage banish a poor helpless child?

It's not in some provencial farming village

from a bygone era.

Banishing one or two mouths to feed

would hardly put a dent in their deficit.

It'd make more sense to downsize

by transferring half of the kids to a different orphanage.

[ATSUSHI] I-I don't understand.

What are you talking about, Dazai?

[OSAMU] Think about it: You came to this city two weeks ago...

The tiger also appeared in this city...

two weeks ago.

And you told us you were in the Tsurumi ward just four days ago.

According to reports,

the tiger was also sighted there four days ago.

Remember what Kunikida said?

The Armed Detective Agency is comprised of individuals

with supernatural powers.

Though not a well-known fact,

quite a few people possess supernatural abilities

in this world.

Some people use their abilities to achieve great success,

while others fall into ruin, unable control their powers.

[OSAMU] I'm guessing that the orphanage staff knew

who the tiger was.

But out of fear, they declined to enlighten you.

You were the only one in the dark, Atsushi.

You see? You also have supernatural powers.

In the moonlight, you can transform

into a wild beast.

An impressive display.

You could snap a person's neck.

You could tear a man's heart from his chest.

[OSAMU] Hmm. Hmm...

Come to think of it, this isn't a bad way to meet my doom...

...being eaten by a tiger...

But even all your strength can't k*ll me.

My ability is...

...No Longer Human.

My power allows me to reverse anyone else's power.

It works through a simple touch.

If you're flirting, I'm not interested.

[DOPPO] There you are, Dazai!

[OSAMU] Hmm?

You are late, Kunikida.

I've captured our predator.

[DOPPO] What do you mean?

It's the boy?

Yup, he can change into a deadly tiger.

Ah... Jeez.

[OSAMU] Hmm?

What was with this note, huh?

"The tiger will be in the fifteenth district's warehouse.

Secure the perimeter so that it can't escape."

My what a lovely and concise note.

[DOPPO] You left out the vital detail!

Next time, you better tell me what's going on.

Thanks to you, I brought in agents who weren't even on call.

First round's on you.

[KENJI] Hey!

[AKIKO] Please don't tell me there are no casualties?

Talk about boring.

[RAMPO] You've gotten better at solving cases, Dazai.

But my logical skills will solve the big ones.

[KENJI] He's not dead.

What are we going to do with him when he wakes up?

He didn't know he could do this, did he?

Apparently, or so it seems.

Now what, Dazai?

He's been designated a security thr*at.

Heh...

[DOPPO] Hmm?

[AKIKO] Hmm?

I've already made my decision.

[KENJI] Hmm?

[ATSUSHI] They called me a good-for-nothing

at the orphanage as far back as I can remember.

And now, I don't even know where I'll sleep tonight

or how I'll get through tomorrow.

No one would mind if I d*ed in a ditch somewhere

or just disappeared forever.

Yeah, maybe I would be better off getting eaten by a tiger...

We're going to make him one of us.

Cool!

Seriously?

Dazai, you are an idiot.

Oh?! What gives you the right to decide that, huh?

Up, Atsushi!

[OSAMU] Here, in a city teeming with the supernatural...

in a detective agency full of eccentrics...

A strange tale's about to unfold.

This is only a sign of things to come...

A premonition...

It starts now...

Hello?

[ATSUSHI grunts]

Who're you?

[OSAMU] Atsushi...

Do you remember anything from when you were transformed?

[ATSUSHI] What are you talking about?

Oh!

Look at that, your right hand didn't change back.

My right hand?

Whaaaaaaaat?!

What the--? What is this?

What the hell?! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off of me!

Atsushi Nakajima!

[gasps]

From this day forward, you're going be one of us.

[ATSUSHI] Uh...

You're the new member of the Armed Detective Agency.

[ATSUSHI] Uh...

I'm what?

[ATSUSHI] Ahh...

It's been a long time since I've slept on a futon.

I feel reborn...

[DOPPO] Hey, kid, hightail it over to the agency.

There's an emergency.

[ATSUSHI] An emergency?

[DOPPO] A man's taken a hostage in our office,

and he's got a b*mb!

[ATSUSHI] I don't want to go, that sounds dangerous.

That's all coming up next time, on Bungo Stray Dogs,

"A Certain b*mb."

[DOPPO] Ability: Doppo Poet.