01x04 - The Tragedy of the Fatalist

[bunniefuu]

[ATSUSHI] "Take the weretiger alive"...

I'm the one you're after?

[AKUTAGAWA] But of course.

The objective of this mission has always been you

and you alone, weretiger.

Your friends got caught in the crossfire.

Just an unfortunate consequence.

[gasps]

All of this is because of me?

[AKUTAGAWA] Indeed...

That is your karma, weretiger.

Your life is bound to cause only misfortune to those around you.

[gasps]

That's my... karma?

Special ability... Rashoumon!

[ATSUSHI gasps]

What happened...? Where am I?

[DOPPO] So you've finally come to...

[ATSUSHI] Kunikida...

Damn it, kid.

I can't believe you pulled that stunt and at such a busy time.

[ATSUSHI] I...

[grunts]

[ATSUSHI] I was... att*cked by the Mafia.

[smack]

[ATSUSHI] I remember!

Mr. Kunikida, are Junichirou and Naomi...?!

Just calm down.

They're both okay.

Are you sure... Really sure?

[DOPPO] Yes.

Dr. Yosano is treating Tanizaki next door as we speak.

[AKIKO] My, what a big, bad injury

you've managed to rack up there for me, Junichirou.

It's impressive.

You must really like my treatment a lot...

[JUNICHIROU grunts]

[slurps]

So I'll give you the extra special treatment this time.

[laughs]

[JUNICHIROU screams]

[grunts and groans]

[moans]

[ATSUSHI] That's... medical... treatment?

I heard a rumor...

[ATSUSHI] Huh?

There's a bounty for your head on the black market.

It may be as high as seven billion yen by now.

[ATSUSHI] Huh...?

[DOPPO] Seven billion yen.

You've moved up in the world.

No wonder the Port Mafia wants to get their hands on you.

Seven billion yen?

But of course.

The objective of this mission has always been you

and you alone, weretiger.

It's all beginning to make sense.

W-W-What should I do?

The Mafia might att*ck the Agency at any time.

Why me, why me why me???

Stop panicking.

Huh...

[DOPPO] It's true that the Port Mafia are extremely violent,

but you must keep your cool.

Otherwise you could wind up dead...

...not that I care.

Um... Uh...

I think your notebook's... upside down.

I am not losing my cool over the Mafia!

I'd b*at them back, even if they att*cked this very second!

I'd punch and whack and chip and chop!

[ATSUSHI] Kunikida's pretty wound up...

He's not making any sense!

[ATSUSHI] It must mean

the Agency's situation is pretty bad,

and it's all because of me.

[DOPPO] They'll come for sure.

[gasps]

[DOPPO] You are the one who brought this on.

The worst-case scenario may come to pass...

Think carefully about what you will do.

[ATSUSHI] What in the world can I do?

What?

[DOPPO] By the way, kid...

Huh?

There's something I've been looking for.

You haven't seen my glasses around, have you?

[approaching footsteps]

It's time, sir.

[RYUUROU] Stand back.

[surprised gasps]

[RYUUROU] Sorry to intrude.

I hate to bother you at work.

[WORKER ] Hey!

Who the hell are you?

We're here to work as well.

But we wont be very long.

It has recently come to our attention

that a group of insurgents has started selling Port Mafia cargo

on the black market,

and that this is their base.

You won't mind if I have a look through the cargo for evidence.

[WORKER grunts]

Huh?

Seems I found it already.

[screams]

[WORKERS murmur]

That's impossible!

It's a steel pipe.

Huh?

[RYUUROU] You've never seen a gift in action before?

[screams]

[WORKERS mutter]

[RYUUROU] k*ll them.

k*ll them all.

[RYUUROU] A smoke always tastes best after a job well done.

[ATSUSHI gasps]

[ATSUSHI] An expl*si*n.

What's going on?

[CROWD ] I hear it was a m*ssacre.

[CROWD ] Damn...

[CROWD ] The police investigating the incident

say the Port Mafia's m*llitary squad did it...

The Black Lizard group, the most violent of them all.

[CROWD ] The Black Lizard?

[CROWD ] Yeah.

They're as good as special ops forces.

And completely merciless.

[ATSUSHI] The Port Mafia's Black Lizard...

If they actually decide to att*ck the Agency...

[ATSUSHI] Mm...

"The worst-case scenario."

[telephone rings]

Yes?

Who is this?

[ATSUSHI] It's me.

Weretiger!

He must have seen the business card I left at the Agency.

Your colleagues may have saved you the other day,

but that won't be the case next time.

So what do you want?

[ATSUSHI] I'm going to quit the Agency.

I'm quitting and going on the run alone.

Good luck finding me!

I get it.

You want us to call off the w*r on the Agency. Right?

Call the Black Lizard now!

[DOPPO] Oh, so you finally decide to show up.

Thanks to you, we've got a big mess here.

We're probably looking at the worst-case scenario.

Help me carry these, will ya?

Hey!

There's no need to worry.

[DOPPO] Hmmm?

Because the worst-case scenario isn't gonna to happen now.

The Agency is perfectly safe.

Huh?

Hey, kid, you can't just leave!

How am I supposed to carry all this?!

[ORPHANAGE MAN ] Get out, you good-for-nothing!

[ORPHANAGE MAN ] No orphanage wants someone like you!

[ORPHANGE WOMAN ] The world would be a better place

if you'd just die in a ditch somewhere!

[approaching footsteps]

[RYUUROU] You're late.

Late by two minutes.

Heh!

You really shouldn't be so uptight all the time, Gramps.

This place is so depressing.

Is Gin here yet?

Or is he late, too?

[RYUUROU] He's here...

Look behind you.

[sighs]

Why am I even surprised you're creeping around?

You get on my nerves.

Lookin' for a fight?

[RYUUROU] Stop being foolish.

Or would either of you prefer to be reported "k*lled in Action"?

[gasps]

Fine, whatever.

Let's just get on with it already.

[cellphone ringing]

[click]

[RYUUROU] We're all here.

[ICHIYOU] Glad to hear it.

We're ready...

What target requires three of us to bring it down?

[ICHIYOU] The target...

...is the Armed Detective Agency's office.

[RYUUROU] Why aren't we pursuing the weretiger?

The previous attempt failed because the Agency interfered.

We won't let that happen again.

We'll annihilate the Agency first so they can't protect him.

And if there are no survivors?

[ICHIYOU] That's fine by me.

Hmph.

Understood.

[click]

[ICHIYOU] That detective agency won't make a fool of Akutagawa.

I won't let them!

[AKUTAGAWA coughs]

[AKUTAGAWA] Fear death.

Fear slaughter.

Those who desire the death of others

have an equal desire to die.

[coughs]

Men who are worthless have no right to draw breath.

[AKUTAGAWA] You have surprised me.

Your resolve is admirable.

[AKUTAGAWA] And now I will give you a reason to live.

[OSAMU] I have finally found a reason to live!

Did I say "to live"?

No, I have found the reason I am still alive!

That's right.

I've lived to this day,

so I could commit double-su1c1de together with you.

Ah, belladonna, at last.

Do what you want... alone.

Double-su1c1de can't be done alone.

[WAITRESS] By the way, Mr. Dazai?

How's your life insurance coverage?

Is it up to date?

I'll tell you anything!

But why ask about that?

[WAITRESS] Oh, let me tell you why...

You have racked up quite a tab.

It must be paid back.

A good insurance policy would do just that.

I have the perfect plan. Heh!

Ah! Your vitality is so blinding.

I can't think straight!

[WAITRESS giggles] If the best you can do

is change the subject, I'll just have to

demand compensation from your Agency.

[OSAMU] Ah, your decisiveness is even more blinding

than your vitality!

So there's not even a lookout?

Talk about careless.

Ah...!

[AKIKO] Uh...!

Aah!

[RAMPO gulps]

[DOPPO] Can I help you?

[RYUUROU] Apologies, detectives.

We must have forgotten to make an appointment.

And we even forgot to knock.

The Port Mafia's Black Lizard!

Please, forgive the bad manners.

Our work here will be done soon.

Get out, you good-for-nothing!

[ORPHANAGE MAN ] No orphanage wants someone like you!

[ORPHANGE WOMAN ] The world would be a better place

if you'd just die in a ditch somewhere!

[ATSUSHI] All of them were right about me.

There isn't a place in the world for me.

I'll never belong anywhere.

[distant rapid g*nf*re]

g*nshots?

But why is that coming from...

[shocked gasps]

Why is the Agency being att*cked?!

[ATSUSHI] Uh, sorry!

[pants]

[ATSUSHI] Why is this happening?

I'm the reason everyone's in danger...

...again!!

Stop it!!

What the...?

[gasps]

[groans]

Ahh!

There! Yeah!

[AKIKO] Hyah!

[RAMPO gulps]

[DOPPO] Hmm?

So you finally came back, kid.

Ehhhhhhhhh...

[DOPPO sighs]

This is exactly why I hate raids.

They really throw off our budgetary projections.

[DOPPO] Repairing all this structural damage

and replacing ruined inventory is gonna cost us a damn fortune.

[AKIKO] Using machine g*ns for a raid was really over the top.

Now somebody needs to go around the neighborhood

with apologies and reconciliatory gifts.

Isn't it your turn, Kunikida?

So... the worst-case scenario has indeed come to pass.

[ATSUSHI] Huh???

This is the "worst-case scenario"?

Gifts and apologies?

And that's the terrifying Port Mafia hit squad?

What the...

[KENJI] Mr. Kunikida,

what do you want me to do with all of them?

[DOPPO] Just throw them out the window.

[KENJI] Roger!

[hums]

One...

Two...

Three!

[DOPPO] I wish they would stop

raiding the office over and over again.

[ATSUSHI] Over and over again?

[KENJI laughs] Woo!

[ATSUSHI] The Armed Detective Agency is so much more violent

than the Port Mafia.

[KENJI] Yay!

[laughs]

[DOPPO] Hurry up and help with the clean-up, kid!

[ATSUSHI] Uh...

[KENJI] Have a nice trip!

I can't believe you simply wandered off

in the middle of all the commotion!

You're a member of the Agency now.

You should always be thinking of what you can do to help out.

So stop staring at me with those vacant eyes,

and start lending a hand!

[ATSUSHI] Uh...

[DOPPO] Think carefully about what you will do.

[ATSUSHI] O... kay.

[laughs]

[growls]

Really?

If you've got the time to laugh...

Eh... Huh?

Are you... crying?

Huh?! I'm... I'm... I'm not crying!

Looks like you are.

[grunts]

I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not!

[DOPPO] Oh, the youth of today.

Even when given a job, you go off and play without permission.

Then you cry if anyone gives you a word of criticism.

So typical of your generation!

[ATSUSHI] That's not it.

That's not what this is about.

[DOPPO] But you are crying!

[ATSUSHI] Okay, I am...

But not about what you think!

[RAMPO] The only reason they can call themselves

a detective agency and function as one

is due to my ability, Ultra-Deduction.

Oh, a m*rder case has arrived on our doorstep.

Okay, Atsushi!

Come with me while I work on the case.

[ATSUSHI] Uh...

I'm not sure I'm up to the task...

Next time on Bungo Stray Dogs , episode : "m*rder on D Street."

Is this going to be an actual detective story?

[RAMPO] All's well that's well for me!