03x15 - Spark Signal

[bunniefuu]

[DEPARTMENT] What sort of merchandise

are you in the market for? A getaway car? A safe house?

Or perhaps some monetary exchange?

Don't worry, I'm not going to ask why you want it.

Just tell me exactly what you need.

[ACCELERATOR] Mr. spells-his-name-"General-Goods"

but-calls-himself-Department, is that for sale, too?

[DEPARTMENT] Hmm, is that your only interest?

Because unfortunately, she's not an option.

She's more of a punching bag.

What's this?

[ACCELERATOR] It's cash up front.

I got stuck with a crappy job, and now I'm pissed off.

[DEPARTMENT sighs] I'm telling you right now,

k*lling her would cost you seven million.

I don't understand why you're so interested

in the girl, anyway.

Oh, goodness, there seems to be some confusion.

I apologize for not making myself very clear,

but you see, she's not the one I just purchased.

It's you, Mr. Department.

[ACCELERATOR] All right, the job is complete.

I hope you know it's crap like this that bores me

to tears.

Need? I'm gonna need a team.

To collect this pile of flesh so I don't puke

every time I inhale.

Can you also look around and see if there are any

spare clothes that would fit a female?

What size? How should I know?

Why don't you just make sure the recovery team

is made up of women.

I'm being very serious.

If there's even one man among them,

I'll kick his nuts in.

All right, that's it.

You're free to go live your life however you want to.

Always remember it's up to you whether you succeed or fail.

Wait, who are you?

[ACCELERATOR] I'm a villain. Just a punk-ass villain.

[LAST ORDER] "So anyway, today's supper is going to be

hamburger stew," says Misaka Misaka

as she delivers the results of her scouting report.

[ACCELERATOR] I guess Yomikawa finally figured out

how to use the rice cooker to make something

besides rice.

[LAST ORDER] "You said we would see each other this weekend,

right?" asks Misaka Misaka, requesting a confirmation.

[ACCELERATOR] Yeah, unless my plans change.

[LAST ORDER] "Oh! Yomikawa is bringing the hamburger stew!"

exclaims Misaka Misaka giving a priority-one report!

Is that so?

Your life is just one pit-stop after the other, isn't it?

[phone ringing]

[LAST ORDER] "Is something the matter?"

asks Misaka Misaka, cocking her head at the sound

of the phone.

[ACCELERATOR] Nothing to worry about.

Just room service checking back in.

[LAST ORDER] "Are you going to be okay?

I don't like you getting into danger,"

says Misaka Misaka, pleading with you.

[ACCELERATOR] Don't be ridiculous.

No need to be concerned about a guy

you couldn't even k*ll with a nuke.

Those maids are proof that times have taken

a turn for the better, am I right?

[grunts]

It's insulting for you to call someone like that

a professional maid.

Yeah? How so?

They're misrepresenting real maids.

It's not fair that I get leering looks

just because I wear this outfit.

You want to know what's not fair?

The fact that unsexy maids even exist at all!

How's that supposed to make me feel?

It sounds like I'm going to have to be a good sister

and show you what a professional maid really is,

you creeper.

I need to grab some lead for my mechanical pencil.

[MAIKA] 'Kay? Then I'll come with you.

Ha ha! You really are the best!

How sweet of you to help me with my homework!

Together we'll knock it out by morning!

On second thought, I've got a lot to do,

so maybe I shouldn't come over tonight.

Adieu!

Have you no heart? Come on!

All right, I'm here.

So what's our homework for today?

[MUSUJIME] Someday, I'm getting out of here for good.

And I'll b*at everyone at this game that has

no way to be won.

[phone buzzes]

[KOMOE] Hello? Hello, Musujime?

Don't forget today is the day you're going to learn

how to make stir-fry vegetables!

I'll be here waiting for you with an empty tummy

and visions of stir-fried deliciousness!

I can hardly wait!

I hate to do this to you.

But something urgent came up and we're gonna need to reschedule.

No, please! Not today, too! That breaks my heart!

What am I supposed to do with all these vegetables

--I just bought? --Enjoy them, I guess?

I heard vegetarians live longer anyway.

I seem to remember this RV having a kitchen?

Or am I just imagining things?

[XOCHITL] I see you're still using that face.

You must really love it, don't you, Etzali?

[UNABARA] And you're still as cranky as ever,

aren't you, Xochitl?

Where's the original grimoire?

I hope you thought to put it somewhere safe.

[UNABARA] It's right here.

So can you tell me what happened?

Basically, I screwed up.

Then in order to make it right, I had my own body meddled with.

No one tried to stop you from doing it?

Tochtli?

You two were friends, weren't you?

I don't know how to answer that.

I'm pretty sure whatever friends you happen to be thinking of

are people with faces I don't recognize

and names I don't know.

Don't try to tell me I'm wrong.

Whatever your reasons, you switched camps

from Azteca to Academy City and then took me down.

Or did you forget... Big brother?

Damn it, Unabara!

You've got some serious explaining to do, young man!

Quick, get back! He's probably from the organization!

[UNABARA] No.

Unfortunately, this perv is on my side.

Are you really telling me that you can lose your mind

over a Level Five middle-school girl here

when you've got a little sister waiting for you

back home, you freak?

What's this about a middle school girl?

[UNABARA] I have no idea. What's going on with you?

Be honest with me, Etzali.

Is that the real reason you betrayed the organization?

Would you calm down, please? Look, it's not what you think.

It's more of a mentoring relationship

than actual siblings.

[TSUCHIMIKADO] You mean you're not related?

Well, that's fantastic, isn't it?

Having your head involuntarily turn

in the direction of someone much younger

is a battle everyone must face.

That's disturbing.

What's wrong with you people?

Am I the only one in GROUP who's not a lolicon?

Let me get this straight--

I'm being called a lolicon by someone

who's clearly a shotacon?

Looks like it.

So true.

What have I ever done that justifies you

calling me a shotacon? Jerks!

[UNABARA] All right, so... What kind of job is this

that requires all of GROUP to be called in?

Oh, just your run-of-the-mill request.

We're supposed to find an outfit called "Spark Signal,"

who're barricaded up with some hostages,

and k*ll them all.

[TAKITSUBO] Looks like I'm okay.

They said I might be discharged soon.

Really?

You aren't able to use ability crystals.

That sucks.

But at least we know it wasn't too serious.

[KINUHATA] Still, I'm surprised you brought her

an ultra-flower arrangement.

I thought for sure it'd be an ultra-bunny suit.

You're on that again? Come on.

[KINUHATA] Ta-da!

And now for our star attraction.

Ultra-Bunny Rikou!

I didn't realize you were that ultra-hot for bunny girls.

[HAMAZURA] I'm not!

The air's kinda dry in here, and, uh...

You'll be okay; we're in a hospital.

A nurse should be coming by soon.

They know how to fix nosebleeds.

[HAMAZURA] Thank you.

You're the only one who cares about me!

[TAKITSUBO] Don't worry, Hamazura.

The doctors here also offer care for mental disorders.

Takitsubo should be discharged soon.

Do you know what your ultra-plans will be after that?

No, not yet.

Don't forget that ITEM has been ultra-disbanded.

I'm waiting for a new team to be ultra-organized.

There's ultra-no benefit to pairing with Takitsubo

since she can't fight, and there's ultra-no need

for you to work with them either.

Yeah, I have no idea what I'm going to do right now.

But Takitsubo needs to get back into the world,

and I'm going to help her.

I hear what you're saying, Hamazura.

You're ultra-devoting all your time and energy

to figuring out how to get Takitsubo into a bunny suit,

aren't you?

[HAMAZURA] Why won't you drop that?

Is that really who you think I am?

Ugh! Please stop ultra-looking at me with that disgustingly

lewd stare you have when you're imagining

girls in bunny suits!

Oh, please, you really think I'm imagining you

in a bunny suit?

You couldn't pull off wearing one if you tried!

Let me be ultra-blunt with you right now, Hamazura.

I happen to have an ultra-superior figure.

Mine's better as a middle-schooler

than Takitsubo's is as a high-schooler!

You're wrong about that!

I know for a fact that Takitsubo's a knockout

whenever she gets undressed!

I also know that if you got undressed

it would be a complete snore.

Do you want me to ultra-k*ll you?

Because it sounds like you've got a death wish!

[HAMAZURA gasps]

[HAMAZURA gasps]

That was an ultra-close call!

I can't believe I was so close to ultra-showing you

today's goodies. How embarrassing.

[HAMAZURA] Gross!

That might be one of the top five worst things

I've ever had the misfortune of hearing.

As if whatever you've got under there

would fall under the category of "goodies."

Check out the ultra-skirt-flirt! Woo!

[HAMAZURA] Uh, I, uh... I don't see anything!

[KINUHATA] And some more skirt-flirt!

[HAMAZURA] I can't. I don't. I can't see anything! I mean...

You'll never get to see, though.

That's why it's a skirt-flirt!

[HAMAZURA yells] Takitsubo!

I need you to give me strength!

[HAMAZURA] No fair!

[KINUHATA] I'm ultra-going to k*ll you!

[HAMAZURA] You show no mercy!

You are the devil!

[SPARK SIGNAL A] By placing this giant particle accelerator

in a state where it could explode,

we can keep the governing board's over-the-top behavior

in check.

[SPARK SIGNAL B] That's brilliant.

And when we're this deep underground,

nobody will ever be able to touch us.

[SPARK SIGNAL A] It's go time.

[BOY VICTIM A grunts]

[SPARK SIGNAL A] Show the boy a little mercy.

Blindfold him, at least.

Do you really think this dumb plan of yours

is going to work?

[SPARK SIGNAL A] Huh?

[BOY VICTIM A] There's no way any of you bad guys

will be able to get away with this!

There's a hero out there!

And I believe with all my heart

that he's coming here soon to punish all of you!

He's going to save us!

I know there's someone out there who will save us!

[SPARK SIGNAL A] Is that so?

Let's say there is a hero.

He'll never be able to make it a hundred meters

underground in time.

[BOY VICTIM A] I still believe.

[SPARK SIGNAL B] How did you get here?

[ACCELERATOR] I'll give you a hint:

look up Move Point sometime, you scumbag.

[SPARK SIGNALS grunting]

[BOY VICTIM A] Are you the hero?

[ACCELERATOR] I'm the villain. A punk-ass villain.

Excellent work.

That was indeed quite the exploit.

Oh, please, it's not like it was that difficult.

The thing that bothers me about this

is what those damn t*rrorists were demanding

from the higher-ups.

I can't believe they would let slip the substance

of their demands!

"DRAGON."

"Disclose all information you have concerning DRAGON at once."

That's the only demand I heard those t*rrorists make.

I'm thinking the higher-ups gave us a huge snow job,

and we walked right into it and k*lled

the only possible lead we had.

Good to see you, Stephanie Gorgeouspalace.

I was hoping you could tell me how Chimitsu Sunazara is doing?

[STEPHANIE] He seems to be recovering nicely.

He hasn't regained consciousness just yet.

But his life isn't in any danger.

Thanks to you.

[THOMAS] Oh, that's not true.

I just feel so guilty about it.

[STEPHANIE] So, who is the target you want taken out?

That would be Academy City's number-one,

called Accelerator. Think you can handle it?

[STEPHANIE] If that is your wish.

I don't want you to give any consideration

to whomever might be hurt in the process

of sh**ting your target.

In fact, I wouldn't mind if you took Saiai Kinuhata

and the other former ITEM members who did this to him,

and perhaps filled them all full of lead

while you were at it.

I think I get it.

What about the man who put a transmitter inside his body?

If I'm taking out those who've wronged Sunazara,

then should I add him to the list as well?

Now, hold on!

I think this belongs to you.

[THOMAS grunts]

All you had to do was turn over Sunazara nicely,

and I would have been quite content to be used

as your pawn.

If you would have just cooperated with me

like a rational person, you could've had

your revenge against Sunazara.

This is such a waste.

Oh. I knew I forgot to mention something.

The object of my revenge is more than just one guy.

It's actually all of Academy City.

[THOMAS groans]

[HAMAZURA] Huh? What do you mean "job?"

I thought we were about to pick up Takitsubo

from the hospital?

[KINUHATA] They're finally organizing the new team,

so we ultra-need to get together and ultra-k*ll

the remaining members of a t*rror1st group.

What kind of stupid game are they playing at now?

Takitsubo is waiting for us!

Fine. The private room in School District Three?

[SHIOKISHI] That bothers you, then?

If you want to be free of unexpected misfortune,

you must never let your guard down.

Which is why we don't meet in person.

You're probably hiding in what's basically

a nuclear fallout shelter.

[SHIOKISHI] For those who have powers like the one Musujime

possesses, the thickness of walls is no obstacle.

Mr. Shiokishi, help me understand

why a member of the governing board

would go out of his way to contact us directly.

[SHIOKISHI] I want you to take down the rest of Spark Signal--

the t*rrorists from earlier.

If I said the name "DRAGON," would that mean anything to you?

[SHIOKISHI] Sure.

Those are the scaly creatures with wings, right?

[ACCELERATOR] Tch.

[SHIOKISHI] The sooner you settle this trivial business,

the sooner you can get back to your regular lives.

[TSUCHIMIKADO] There are twenty members still left.

[ACCELERATOR] No doubt k*lling them would be easy.

But are we just going to submissively do

whatever the damned governing board orders us to?

This could be our chance to find out exactly

what DRAGON is.

[TSUCHIMIKADO] So are you saying you want to try negotiating

with the t*rrorists?

Because mark my words.

If innocent civilians will be caught in the middle of it,

I promise none of us will be there to back you up.

I thought you were supposed to be off fighting t*rrorists

with a new team, so why are you here?

Yeah, I was.

But then I got annoyed after five minutes and came back.

They took the survivors of the defunct ITEM, SCHOOL, BLOCK,

and MEMBER and created a new team with them.

Then they were like, "I know everyone here was trying

to k*ll you before, but do your best to get along!"

Oh, wow, talk about shady!

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot:

the Heart Measure lady in the dress asked me

to ultra-give you her regards.

Really? Lucky me.

Are you sure this is the best idea?

Blowing off an order from the higher-ups?

I'm probably ultra-screwed.

Hamazura, would you mind giving me a hand with something?

Huh?

All I have to do is completely wipe out

the remaining t*rrorists alone before they drag me

back into the new team!

Huh?!

Ya know, you really are a piece of work mooching off

your friends and feeling no remorse about it.

Did you just ultra-say something? I don't speak Loser.

[helicopter whirring]

[HAMAZURA] Great! Looks like we've got some major bad news

coming up behind us!

[TSUCHIMIKADO] Hey! Narrowing our avenues

of att*ck isn't terribly helpful!

[crash]

[TSUCHIMIKADO] They got away.

[ACCELERATOR] This is exactly what you get when you cram

a busload of villains together.

And these are the ones who shake loose?

If you want, I could blow them up while I'm doing Spark Signal.

[HIGH SCHOOL BOY A] Wait! Just a minute, please!

Stop! Don't use that drug!

[RESCUE WORKER A] I have to, or she won't last until

she gets to the hospital!

[HIGH SCHOOL BOY A] She's our teacher.

She's pregnant.

You have to save them both!

Please, sir! Please, I'm begging you!

[ACCELERATOR] Stand aside.

Sex, female. Weight, two forty-four grams.

Heart rate, sixty BPM.

Stimulus response ratio, coming up now as

five point five-two.

She needs a stimulant.

Two point five grams of ephedrine.

Apply a topical patch to the carotid artery

diffusing it in five times for ten seconds,

and then take it off for twenty more seconds.

That will save her.

Hey, wait!

What's going to happen to the baby if they give her

that stuff you just said?

Do you think I did all those calculations for no reason?

[HIGH SCHOOL BOY A] Hold on, please wait!

Thank you, man.

She'll be all right because of you.

[ACCELERATOR] Get lost, already.

I promise I'll never forget what you did tonight

for as long as I live.

Someday, I hope to be able to return the favor.

You're an--

Get lost.

A six-winger.

'Kay, what does it want with us?

Hey! Did you know they'd react like this

when you went and disobeyed their orders?

It does seem like ultra-overkill just for a single person, huh?

Crap! They're sh**ting at us!

Fun fact--the missiles from the six-wingers

all use infrared sensors.

That flare just ultra-screwed up their aim.

Awesome!

You need to steer ultra-straight!

Don't turn the wheel!

I'm trying to make it more difficult

for them to sh**t us!

What the hell are you doing?

[g*nsh*t]

Keep your eyes ultra-on the road and your foot on the gas!

Okay, but I saw your panties!

Be careful!

There's no way you can sh**t through

a m*llitary helicopter's armor!

What makes you think I'm trying to sh**t

through the armor?

I ultra-did it with clay-based b*ll*ts.

I figured they would ultra-shatter

and that would cause the fragments to enter the intakes.

Nice panties!

Damn it! Kinuhata, use your Offense Armor!

[KINUHATA] Hold on!

[HAMAZURA] What am I doing?

I need to get Kinuhata back and go see Takitsubo.

[phone buzzing]

[HEART MEASURE] It's been too long.

If I said this is Heart Measure, formerly of SCHOOL,

would you remember who I am?

How the hell do you know my phone number?

[HEART MEASURE] Never mind that.

Is Saiai Kinuhata with you?

[HAMAZURA] So, you're the ones behind all of this!

[HEART MEASURE] If you hear from her,

will you pass on a message for me?

You know those t*rrorists she said she'd deal with by herself?

They've just seized a private room in School District Three.

Wait, School District Three?

Did I hear you right?

[KAMIJO] Even if I have to become the villain.

Even if I have to get down on my hands and knees.

Even if someone has to be sacrificed.

I will protect her. No matter what.

Next time, "The Governing Board."

When science and magic cross paths,

a story is born.