04x01 - Birthday Party

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Kojak". Aired: October 24, 1973 – March 18, 1978.*
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Show revolved around the efforts of the tough and incorruptible Lieutenant Theodopolus Kojak, a bald, dapper, New York City policeman, who was fond of Tootsie Pops and of using the catchphrases, "Who loves ya, baby?" and "Cootchie-coo!"
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04x01 - Birthday Party

Post by bunniefuu »

The register is 10 feet from

the door. No silent
alarms that I can make out.

The old man's on duty.

And no one in the back room.

That's my girl.

Well, little brother, ready?

Yeah, yeah, I think so, Tony.

Hey.

Hey, Zeno.

He's your brother,
but he's my man.

Don't mess him up with
your nervous routine.

Ok, let's go!

What does a $400 suit

find so interesting about a
neighboorhood liquor store ?

Is anybody here?

Hold it police!

All right, now put it down.

Now!

Go ahead, go ahead.

Do something dumb.

Go ahead.

Just take it easy officer.

Yeah, I'll take it easy, before
my partner comes walking out.

Doyle, damn it!

Okay, Sarge.

Hey!

I just got the word.

How's Doyle?

He's still alive.

He's on his way to Belleview.

Okay.
I'll make a call.

Now, you're gonna tell me who your
lookout was, or do I have to squeeze it?

All right, look out.

Where's the lieutenant?

Lieutenant Kojak's gonna go to his niece's
birthday party in the old neighborhood.

Hello, Bellevue?

Detective Sergeant
Stavros, Manhattan South.

May I have the
emergency desk, please?

Last known address.

Hey, I got to make a
call first, or did you forget?

Hey, home?

Hey.

Hey, Sakala.

What?

You hit the cop.

Okay, thanks.

He just went into surgery.

Lieutenant, I don't have his, uh,
creek from the old neighborhood.

Zeno.

He wants us to grab
somebody from a cop's family.

You know Frank?

Know something, I didn't have
a cherry stone clasp.

You're such a cheapskate.

Howdid you raise
such great kids?

What do you mean, cheap?

You buy a 10 year old child a $100 painting
kit, she can redo the Sistine Chapel.

Don't tell me.

I know.

You're just mad because
you weren't invited.

Is that right, Fatso?

There is a collar out there
making his one phone call,

So?

So he's making it in Greek.

What do I do stand
around and listen ?

Maybe blow his trail on some technicality ?

Or talk a walk ?
I decided to take a little walk.

Uhuh. What did he do ?

He sh*t Doyle in a hold-up.

Mason.

How's Doyle?

I don't know.

I gotta go to the hospital
after I finish with this bum.

Tony Pappas.

Hey, lieutenant.

Like old times.

I don't want any
technical errors.

No mistakes, you understand?

I want this Mediterranean
fungus here to hang.

Anything else?

Yeah, there was another
guy, but he got away.

Put him in.

Go ahead, Dale.

I'll get things rolling here.

Alright an hour, huh?

No more.

All right, crank everyone up.

I want his partner fast.

Can you see them?

Yeah.

Which ones?

They're a group over there.

One's with the party here, Tom.

Lena.

This is crazy.

Cops family.

You want your brother to
spend the next 20 in jail?

Hi.

Are there any
playgrounds in the car?

Not for you, lady.

I have a small child.

I was thinking of
moving into the area.

I used to live here once.

Still nice,

I guess some things never change.

Uncle Theo, now you
have to let me paint you.

Why would you want to paint
this ugly b*at up person of mine?

Because I love you.

Oh.

Can I show my
presents to my friends?

Oh, your mother's the boss.

Where are they?

Across the park
near their house.

Don't stay too long.

You spoil her Theo.

Yeah, what do you do, arrest me?

Did you get a hundred dollar present for
your birthday when you were 10 years old?

Look, when I was a kid 10 years old, my
old man on a hundred dollars could feed the

whole family for
a year and a half.

Theo, what is it?

Pauline, you remember
Tony Pappas?

Yes, I remember.

A few centuries ago they
would have drowned him at birth.

Elena, happy birthday.

Thank you.

I'm a friend of your Uncle Theo.

He's over there.

I know.

I'm meeting him.

We're having another party.

Oh, then I'm very
happy to know you.

What have you got there?

It's a present for
my Uncle Theo.

Ah.

Hey.

That's some set of oils.

I do a little painting myself.

Maybe we could do one together.

Huh?

Come on.

Go ahead, Theo.

Yeah, he's a kid
brother, not too bright.

Followed him around
like a little puppy dog.

Hey, look, they never did any time,

but they've been booked
enough times for mug sh*ts.

All right, we'll get
it on the street.

How's Doyle?

Not good.

Picking up his wife and
we're going over there.

Ah, that's too bad.

Any kids?

Three, I think.

Three kids,

Why does it have to be
times like this for us to ask?

You have to leave.

Hey, Lieutenant,
how about my cake?

Having a blast.

Call for you, Lieutenant.

I'll take it inside.

Get me the sheet
on fungus over there.

Yes, sir.

Kojak.

Your niece is a sweet child.

I'd let you talk to her, but a
little chloroform goes a long way.

Who is this?

Don't be upset.

Not until you've heard it all.

She won't see another
birthday if you get upset.

And stupid.

So here it is.

Turn Tony Pappas loose.

Before they take him downtown, just pull
his sheet, turn him loose, and no one ever

has to know an arrest was made.

Hey, come on, I've
heard this bluff before.

She won't get to use
that paint set if you don't.

Let me talk to the kid.

Uncle Theo?

Hello.

When does Tony walk out?

Listen, it takes time to set up.

How much?

A day, two.

How much?

Okay, a few hours.

Arrange it.

I'll call back
with instructions.

How'd the kid like
the cheap present?

Did you call David Sheffield?

Yeah, he'll get back to us.

Just got a message
from your friend.

That's good.

Yeah, good huh? Now I got a message
for you and you listen.

I want to see that you
die behind closed doors.

You understand?

If I got to slam
the door myself.

You got that message?

Theo.

That's enough.

What the hell are you doing?

Bums.

They grabbed my niece
and they want to trade.

They just pulled the job.

There was no time.

No time, huh?

There was time enough
for that slob to make a call.

And who do you call?

Did you see a lawyer out there?

He knows me, he knows my
family, and there's a woman in on it.

They must be crazy.

Crazy? Sure, they're crazy.

They know about yellow sheets,
they know about trips downtown.

They know we rip up the
sheets for insufficient evidence.

We've let out suspects before.

That deals all the time.

Remember the Grady case?

We got more by letting them go.

Hey, a little of our own
plea bargaining can't hurt.

Sure, just let them go.

Is that it, fellas?

Well, thanks a lot.

And then what?

They're gonna let the kid go?

After what she saw,
after what she heard?

Come on, they're
just gonna forget it.

Is that it?

We stall until we find the kid.

How much time do we have?

How long does it take to
get here from downtown?

About three hours.

That's how much time we got?

She was about this tall.

She dressed real
good, early 20s.

And her hair was black,
but her eyes were blue.

Hey, Lieutenant, a young woman with
a young kid over here, I got 100 leads.

All right, call in for a car.

Get old Hawkeye here
down to the station.

If he can't pick out a picture from the
books, get started on a composite.

You keep it covered here.

All right.



These are the
pictures of the two men.

There's no women in their MO.

Hey, Teo, you came back
again with your friends.

Pete, get the captain some cake.

Wait a minute.

Don't they know yet?

Hey, Captain, come on.

Why don't you give him the day off?

Hey.

I'm going back to set up
surveillance around the area.

They want to swap,
they're still pretty close by.

Captain, you really think
they're gonna swap the kid?

Crocker, you know what I think.

What do they want with us?

They want it from me.

But why?

A prisoner I'm holding.

So they grab Elena?

What can you do, Teo?

I can find her.

All right, look, so what are
you letting us keep you for?

Go on.

Come on, they can't b*at us.

I'll keep you posted.

How are they taking it?

Well, not too well.

They don't blame me.

Not a stirrer, she
just disappeared.

All right, let's stop
b*ating the drums.

The crockery, you and me, establish a cover
of the rear before anybody knows we're

here. What am I
looking for, Lieutenant?

Anybody gets nervous
when they see my face.

Yes, sir.

I quit boosting.

No matter what anyone says.

Hey, Nicola.

What you do? Forget
your worry beads?

I'm clean, I swear.

Come on, I didn't
come here for that.

Sit down, continue with your
card game, have some fun.

So, how's Tony Pappas?

I hardly see him anymore.

Well, I know where he is.

You know, he's hit the big
time since Lesha saw him.

Locked off a liquor store, he busted
the head of the owner, he sh*t a cop...

We heard what they did.

They?

What are you nervous about?

What should I be nervous for?

You said they.

I meant him.

But you said they,
and they ain't him.

They is his brother.

Want to know something?

I want they.

And I also want the girl.

Dark hair, buys her clothes
on Fifth Avenue, maybe.

Cold as ice, you didn't
see her either, did you?

What girl?

I'm sorry, I swear.

I don't know a thing.

Look, Nic, you've done some
pretty heavy things, you understand?

Now you're gonna help me find
my niece, and then I owe you.

And if you don't help me
find her, I still owe you.

Got that, I'll be in Sulao.

Really?

That old man, he
owns some apartments.

There's a kid in there.

What do we do now?

We make no mistakes.

The kid's sleeping.

Wouldn't take the wig
off if she wasn't stupid.

Don't pull me down.

There's the door.

What if somebody saw you?

What if somebody
followed us here?

If they saw anyone, they
saw a dark haired woman.

Okay, okay.

I'm just nervous.

Hey, where you going?

To call, okay?

Get a hold of
yourselves, you know?

We've done it a hundred times.

We don't change a thing.

The agency, the phony tickets.

Okay?

It's all over for
Tony, isn't it?

Not unless they don't
care about that kid.

Why is she paying airplanes?

You know I wanted to
take her to the airport once.

She wanted to go
to the zoo instead.

Kid's telling us they're going
to try to get away by plane?

Whatever it means
proves the kid is still alive.

Anything on that
alarm for his brother?

Nothing much so far.

We made a composite of the girl.

Copies have gone out
to the neighborhood.

Okay, I'll pick one up
after we finish our sesh first.

Frank, stay close
to me on this, okay?

Like glue, Theo.

Listen, stay cool, huh?

What do you think, Cap?

I think I'm going to have to take him
off this before he cracks completely.

What is it?

Some kind of oil.

Prescription.

Maybe he's in the back.

No.

He's been taking his mother to lunch
every Wednesday for the last 15 years.

He's got us back
to do his paperwork.

Check the neighborhood
restaurants, okay?

He's about 5'8", a
little beard like that.

I'll be back to you later.

Hey, Lieutenant,
it's Captain McNeil.

Hello.

Theo, the girl just called.

She gives us one
hour to let him out.

Well, at least she's
still talking to us.

One thing more.

Doyle just d*ed in surgery.

All right, look.

You call the hospital
and put the lid down.

If they find out,
the kid's finished.

Theo?

We're making a lot of progress
and I got every available man on it.

Theo, how's the officer?

Oh, my God, Theo.

What if they find out?

No, they won't.

We got the lid on.

Look, I'm sure you're
doing everything you can.

Paulina.

Does, uh, AElena like airplanes?

Airplanes?

You remember the time I was gonna
go to Atlantic City in a police helicopter?

I asked her to come along
with me and she said swell.

We got there, she panicked.

Is she still the same way?

Maybe even worse.

Her class went to the Empire
State Building last week.

She went up in the elevator, but she
was afraid to go out and look at the city.

Why, Theo, what is it?

Hey, look, don't
let's hope, okay?

I'll be back very
soon and with Elena.

Hey, hey, they've gotta be.

Close enough to get in contact
with Alex Papas if we let them go.

Why airplanes?

The kid still hates them.

We got men
checking the kid shops.

Maybe they're changing
the clothes that Diana had.

Alaina still panics over her.

She still hates planes.

So the first thing she plants
with a new set is planes.

Why?

Maybe she heard them
talking about flying out of here.

She's trying to tell us something
and I'm too dumb to figure it out.

Let's go back.

We're just wasting gas.

Where you been?

Hey, can I have the walls painted if
I'm gonna be in here much longer?

Forget it.

Theo, I've been
thinking it over.

If push comes to shove,
we can think of something.

Frank, an officer is dead.

What is there to think of?

Well, what if these
loonies find out he d*ed?

They all face a mandatory
death penalty in this state.

Don't look at me like that.

I know what I'm saying.

Listen, I'd fire a cop on the spot for even
thinking of making a deal at a time like

this. That's right.

So don't think of it.

I won't.

What if it was my kid?

You'll find that argument
in the police manual.

But you're right.

Thanks, Frank.

Set up a trace.

Just keep her on long enough.

Kojak.

You have less than an hour left.

Hey, take it easy.

You blow your cool
now and it's lost.

I'm working on it.

It takes a key.

You've got that.

Ey got...what have I got?

I've got a doll with a great
voice, threats, promises.

I mean, how do I
know the kid's still alive?

How do I know she's okay?

How do I know anything?

Uncle Theo?

Elena. Uncle Theo, I'm okay.

Listen, Elena, I
found your painting.

It's good, you understand?

promise to do more.

All right.

I'll paint those big red
onions you always eat.

I want him out.

Now.

Hey, okay.

Okay.

You know, people
know we picked him up.

The paper's made out.

I have to cover.

And I'm setting
it all in motion.

One hour.

I'll call back.

Put him on.

Then you get instructions.

Okay, well.

The piece's too sharp.

Hi, Dave.
How's it going?

Dave, how long
have you been a cop?

Why, what'd I do?

You think you know it all, you think
you've done it all, you think you've

seen it all, but you never do.

What are we hanging around for?

You got one hour to find a kid.

Get moving, and you too.

-It's Stavros.
-Hello!

I find nothing in restaurants, then
I swing back and see the lights on.

What does he say?

Well, the guy won't talk.

That's why I think it's good.

Charlie.

Charlie, take ideas.

Hello, Theo.

How long has it been?

Five years, maybe more.

You're mad at me because
I didn't show up, right?

Everybody gets
into their own lives.

Can you help me?

Goodbye, Theo.

Charlie, I'm a
cop, not a disease.

Like you said, you're a cop.

You wanted to be one when
you were a kid, and you made it.

You even think like
one, on duty, off duty.

What the hell?

Ask your brother-in-law,
he'll tell you.

But maybe you won't understand.

He talks Greek.

He believes in you, the slob.

Hey, I'm doing the best I can.

Can you help me?

Give them what they want, Theo.

Don't play with them.

Charlie, I'll give them my life.

Just tell me where they are.

Lieutenant, take it easy, huh?

Forgive me, Theo.

I'm upset.

We're all upset.

I think maybe it
could be my kid next.

What would the police do?

They trade millionaires
for revolutionaries.

All these people want is a bum.

Give them the bum!

This bum might come in here one night
and blow the head off your kid's father.

I'm sorry.

If you came to me for a prescription, you
wouldn't tell me how to handle my business.

Charlie, you know
what you're doing.

I mean before you wouldn't help
me, because you were mad at me.

And now you would talk to me
because you're trying to make up.

There isn't enough time.

The prescription
is for suntan oil.

What kind of suntan
oil needs a prescription?

It's special for sensitive skin.

The dark-haired woman
usually has dark skin.

Since when does dark skin and
dark hair worry about the sun?

But she wasn't dark
skinned, she was light skinned.

Probably a blonde.

That type, when they paint their bodies,
get a chemical reaction from the makeup.

If they go out into the sun
without this, they get sick.

Who paints their body?

Entertainers?

You sure this is the place?

Yeah, I'm sure.

All right, come on, let's go.

Go where?

You said there was a
blonde belly dancer in there.

Hey, Kojak, you call
me and I say, yeah.

There's this club on 6th Street where
there's a blonde belly dancer working

there, right? Now, that's
all I say I'll do for you, okay?

No, tell me what
you'll do for me.

Wait, wait, wait.

Theo!

For God's sake.

He can't help.
Please!

Okay, okay.

I'll go down to your prison.

I'll ID her through a mirror.

There, not here.

Kojak, if you don't grab them,
they're bad people, you know?

Nico, what do you
know about onions?

Onions?

You're too involved.

Frank, I'm that close.

I want you to take
off and go home.

We got men staked
out over the whole area.

We have his picture
and her composite.

We have our
phone ready to trace.

Now, take off.

What the hell is this for?

I'm a private citizen now.

Is this the way it's been?

What do you want
me to say, Captain?

Stay with him.

Yes, sir.
Go ahead!

Where?

She's nobody I know.

I told the officer
who came by before.

Tommy?

Gojak?

How's the kid?

He's fine.

He starts high
school in the spring.

Oh, yeah?

I remember you almost
didn't live one winter.

Hey, I said I could never
thank you for what you did.

Why don't you try?

He knows her.

Let's see.

What are you, a booking agent?

No.

A pimp?

Oh, come on.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, get your hands off me.

All right, you holding?

Hey, you'll lose your job.

Oh, I already quit.

Officer, this man is crazy.

What man?

Look at here, these beautiful pieces of
white paper with all those lovely numbers

on it. And all I wanted from
you was a blonde belly dancer.

OK, OK, can we still talk?

About what?

Lena Martin.

She shows up once in a while.

I give her the work
just for the novelty.

The only thing I know is that she runs
with this guy, Pappas, who sh*t the cop.

I didn't want to get involved.

cr*cker, put this
joint on the list.

I want it busted often,
and I want it busted hard.

Why?

I told him.

Not what
he wanted to hear.

Bye.

Did you hear about Doyle?

Yeah, we heard.

I just saw your sister.

I wonder if she knows.

Hey, she should be home.

We're going to church
to pray for a dead child.

That won't happen.

Like this didn't happen, huh?

Look, Pete, this
isn't the old country.

We're going to find her in time.

We've got ways.

Oh, come on.

Don't be a smart cop.

Please, not now.

These are mad dogs.

Let them k*ll the whole world.

She's our daughter.

Got enough men on
those composites?

Yeah, all we can get, sir.

She's got a phone instructions.

I want to know about them.

Lieutenant, Chief
took you off the case.

Well, he's probably right.

I'm too close to it.

How about those travel agencies?

We're calling every
name in the book.

They're checking their records.

Now, listen, fellas, I don't know about
Pappas' brother, but if this girl smells

cop, it's all over with.

Right, you keep on with those
travel agencies, I'll go look for Nico.

I just got a hunch that where this
comes down, he might be of help.

Okay.

Listen, miss, we're doing
everything we can to cooperate.

Put him on.

Lena?

Tony, we have a few numbers we
would call in case we ever got split.

Remember?

Yeah.

When they let you out, and
you're sure, call the phone booth.

Right.

What are they wearing
in Brazil these days?

Come on fred silk.

Manhattan South, 62.

Frank?

Leo, she just called.

He walks out of here
and phones to let him safe.

Then they let the kid go.

It's take it or leave it.

They won't let her
go, she's insurance.

We're covering all the airports,
the railroads, the bus terminals.

It's a holiday weekend, there'll
be mob scenes everywhere.

If we could just pin it down.

Frank, Pappas has got to make
that call, do you understand?

We need the time.

I understand.

And now you understand.

You hear?

I can't let a m*rder suspect dictate
to this department, and you know that.

Crocker, the lieutenant
doesn't understand my position.

I okay this.

I give that blackmail the stamp of approval
of the whole New York police force.

Hey, Captain.

Things copacetic
this afternoon, gents?

Going just great.

Crocker?

SOP, Captain.

You do this, and
you do it right.

Captain.

Yeah?

I say no, this is Tony.

Look, you sure it's okay?

I'm out, kid.

I'm out.

All right, 5 o'clock.

Okay.

Where's the meat?

Look, I already said
what you told me to say.

I don't know what this is about.

I want to see a lawyer.

Saperstine, put in
the call to Stavros.

Get up.

In the cage.

In the cage!

What's up, curly?

I've just made contact
with his brother.

It's just some warm milk.

Go on, you're upset.

It'll make you feel better.

There's some paints
that your uncle got you.

He loves me, that's
why he bought it.

I wanted a bicycle once.

These people bought
their son a bicycle.

But they didn't buy me one.

But I finally got
to ride it anyway.

He was standing at the window.

On the top floor of this
little house they had.

I just kind of leaned into him.

He walked out of funny
when he got out of the hospital.

But he remembers
now, when it rains.

That he didn't listen when I
asked him to be nice to me.

Better now?

I just want to go home.

Yes?

It worked, he's free.

Alright.

The agency has the tickets.

Pick them up.

I'm back here, I'll
have a taxi waiting.

Be sure no one follows you.

Alex will be in the
crowd at the airport.

You think the cops
have something in mind?

I think you're wasting time.

Finish your milk.

We'll help you in that.

It's going to be a long trip on one
of those planes you like to draw.

I'm going to pick up two
tickets to San Francisco.

Out of Kennedy.

In whose name, please?

Jones, Walter and Pete.

Oh, yes, Mr. Jones.

You've been here often.

I didn't recognize you.

They are paid for two
tickets to San Francisco.

Sign here.

What's the matter?

I have a terrible headache.

I'm sorry.

Nico, I'm doing it with kids
because these people smell cop.

It's all over.

But all I want to do is tail them
there's no danger at all, okay?

They know.

Hey, kids, you
took the right road.

Call the T.V.

I feel funny.

That drink tasted funny.

You're upset.

I told you it was just something
to help you calm down.

That's all it was.

Honey, it's you and me.

The time has come to go.

Just remember, no trouble.

Think of that little boy I told
you about with the bicycle.

Okay, Fatso.

Now you'll get more than a
departmental reprimand for going along

with me on this if it blows away.

Now, what did you learn
from the travel agency?

Well, he picked up
two tickets for two men.

And the agent says he never
bought more than two any of the times.

And he's a regular customer.

Oh, no way.

No way that Pappas' girlfriend
would stay behind at this time.

Are you kidding?

Hey, man.

You got a match?

Kojak.

He's inside.

Hey, Lena.

Lena.

Pappas, freeze.

He's dead.

I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

He had his g*n right on you.

She set us up.

She used him to get away.

Red onions.

They buy tickets.

They never use them.

It's a screen in case
they're ever traced.

Onions, red onions,

I hate onions
and she knows it.

Her father loves them.

Her mother puts
it in everything.

All kinds of meat, salad.

Elenas job was to
pick them out, onions.

Red onions.

Bermuda onions.

Like that other painting?

You know the one with
the airplanes and the girls

Only girls?

Stewardesses Frank.

You know something?

My niece is a
better cop than I am.

Yeah, I'll tell them.

Theo, there are no five
o'clock planes to Bermuda.

Well, we'll try the
chartered terminal.

Our only hope is the airport.

This is Captain McNeil.

All special units assigned to
Kennedy converge on charter terminals.

I think we gotta make Frank a stewardess
and a little girl asleep in a wheelchair.

Let me help you.

No, please.

Let me help you.

Hey, come on.

You wanna go shopping, honey?

Take her to buy
some onions, Stavros.

She forgot to cry.

Look, here comes
your Uncle Theo.

She's coming out of it.

Uncle Theo's day
threw my paint set away.

Oh, well, I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.

You're ten, in six years
you'll be driving up by your car.

Uncle Theo.

Too soon?

All right.

We'll get an airplane, one that rides in
the sky, and then you can paint the biggest

pictures everybody can see.

But.

But.

I'll tell you what we'll do.

Set it for the biggest and the
tallest ice cream cone ever made.

Let's go fight it.
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