03x04 - Log 45: Bright Boy

[bunniefuu]

One-Adam-12, handle code 3.

♪♪

Late night?

- Quiet day.
- Don't knock it.

One L-20, One L-20.
Go to the station.

How about a little
break in the lull?

One-Adam-12, requesting code 7.

Wilshire and Broadway.

All units on all
frequencies, stand by.

Two X-Ray-9 is in
pursuit. Two X-Ray-9...

At least somebody's
keeping busy.

Two X-Ray-9, roger.

All units, Two
X-Ray-9 is in pursuit,

eastbound on Riverside
Drive, approaching Duvall.

Suspect's vehicle is
a 1966 blue Chevrolet,

California license,

Lincoln Union Ocean 389.

Two female Caucasians.

And not on the hot sheet.

Suspect's vehicle is wanted

for numerous traffic
violations only at this time.

All units, Two X-Ray-9 is TA'd,

Riverside Drive
and North Figueroa.

Suspect's vehicle now northbound

on Figueroa toward
the Pasadena Freeway.

Takes it out of Rampart
Division into Northeast.

Yeah, the girls are
covering a lot of ground.

All units, Eleven-Adam-31 is
in pursuit of suspect's vehicle,

eastbound on Avenue 26,

approaching Five Points.

Coming our way.

All units, Eleven-Adam-31
has lost suspect's vehicle.

Vehicle last seen

southbound on
Daly from Colorado.

Here she comes.

All right, come
out nice and slow...

You lousy Fascist pig!

Wait till I get my
lawyer on you!

You think this is any
way to treat a lady?

Nope.

What do you mean by that crack?

Come on. Let's go.

One-Adam-12...

What are you arresting me for?

About 14 traffic
violations for a start.

One-Adam-12, roger.

Supplemental from
the link. The car's stolen.

Oh, I only borrowed it
from that creepy john.

Wanted to teach my
kid sister how to drive.

Where, Indianapolis?

Get in the car.

You stinking fuzz!
You're all alike,

beating up on innocent
women and children.

We'll wait for another unit
to come and impound the car.

Lousy Fascist pig!

You're all pigs!

.34 reading on the Breathalyzer.

That's almost a new high.

Yeah, a few more points and
she'd have been stiff for good.

One-Adam-12,
One-Adam-12, see the boy.

Possible 459 suspects there now.

157 Stone Street. Code 2.

One-Adam-12, roger.

Business is picking up.

Not absolutely sure it
was a burglary, officers.

It looked very suspicious to me.

- What's your name, son?
- Harold F. Ruskin.

The F stands for Frederick.

I live a block over on Ganow.

That's why they
had time to get away.

I had to ride over to telephone.

When I got back they were gone.

Well, what exactly
did you see, Harold?

Well, I was coming
down the street here,

when I see this moving van.

Small one, about
two and a half tonner.

It was cruising up
the street, going slow.

These two guys in the
cab, looking around.

Then they spotted this house.

You notice the garage
door's up, and it's empty.

Yeah, we noticed.

So they pull up,

turn into the
driveway, and park.

One of them gets out,
goes up to the front door,

rings the bell,
knocks on the door.

No answer.

So he waves to the other guy.

He gets out, goes
up to the door, too.

Takes out a bunch of keys.
Unlocks it, just like that.

Then they go in.

A few minutes later, they
start carrying things out.

Well, maybe the owner gave them
the key so they could move them.

- No, I don't think so.
- Why not?

I looked in the window
just before you got here,

and the rest of the
furniture's still in there.

Do you remember what they took?

A 24-inch color
television console,

the components for
a hi-fi stereo system,

a 2000 amplifier
with two speakers,

a turntable, and a tape deck.

Also, they took
a big table lamp.

It was made of wrought iron.

It had these six nice, big pieces
of glass hanging from the sides.

Anything else, Harold?

Oh, yeah, they took a
fur coat. It was a mink.

Are you sure about that?

- Yes, sir.
- You don't miss much, do you?

Well, I saw it. I don't
usually forget things.

Why don't we take a look?

Hey, wait a minute!

The reason I first
noticed that van

was the funny slogan
it had on the side.

"Move Right. Don't
Ship It. Ramm It."

Ram it?

Yeah. R-A-M-M.

- The name
of the moving company.
- Oh.

I don't suppose you just
happened to get the license number?



You want to check around back?

Everything seems to be okay.

Didn't see anything
wrong in the back, either.

Well, nice, polite
thieves. No fuss, no muss.

They even bother to
lock up after themselves.

What is it, officer?

- Mr. Marshall?
- That's right. Mrs. Marshall.

What's the trouble?

We're not sure there
is any trouble, sir.

The boy here thinks you
may have been burglarized.

Oh, no. Walter, my jewelry.

Let's see about it.

Harold? Come on in.

It looks like you were right.

- I thought so.
- Mm-hmm.

Same M.O. as the
last three burglaries.

They get dressed
up as moving men,

steal a van,

case a neighborhood looking
for a house with the people away.

When they find
one, they move in.

- Right.
- We took Brenda's car
over to the shop.

I just didn't bother to
put the garage door down.

So that's how they
knew we were out.

You're a bright boy, Harold,
remembering all those details.

A real bright boy.

I've got a photographic
memory, I guess.

My dad... he's a lawyer.

He says I can look
at one of his briefs

and repeat it practically
word for word the next week.

That a fact?

You're sure the big fellow
has a scar over his left eye?

No, sir.

Oh?

I said the right eye, Sergeant.

Come along, son. I want to
get your parents' permission

- to go down to the station
and look at some pictures.
- Yes, sir.

I expect it'll turn out the
kid's photographic memory

- doesn't work on pictures.
- You wanna bet?

- Hey, what's with Poster?
- What do you mean?

It's like he doesn't
believe Harold's story.

Ah, he's been burned
a couple of times

by kids who got their
facts mixed up with fiction.

All units in the vicinity
of One-Adam-12,

sh*ts fired, 635
East 34th Street.

One-Adam-12, code 2.

One-Adam-12, roger.

All right, you in there.
Put the r*fles down.

Do you hear something, Ben Roy?

I purely do, Everett Joe.

Who dat out there?

Police officers. What's
the sh**ting about?

Come on in, man.
Find out for yourself.

Here come the fuzz.
Here come the fuzz.

Da-da-doo-de-da-da.

All right. What's going on here?

We're just sitting here, man,
quietly blowing our minds.

We're sh**ting at
that box of dynamite.

What?

Trying to get a bang out
of it, man, a really big blast.

Did you hear that?

Yeah, but I don't believe it.

Where did you get that stuff?

Oh, we just found it, brother.

Well, if it had gone off, you'd
have gotten a blast, all right,

big enough to blow you
and your house up with it.

Get on your feet.

Oh, come on. Now what
you gonna arrest us for, man?

Come on, let's go. You
heard the man. On your feet.

You can't bust us, man.
We didn't break any laws.

Yeah, man. We're just
two consenting adults

in the privacy
of their own turf,

just sniffing some paint.

They ain't no law
against paint, is there?

No, there isn't.

And they ain't a law against
possessing firearms, is there?

- Nope.
- Then you got no cause
for arresting us, man.

Wrong. There is a law

against sh**ting off
a g*n in the city limits.

Possession of expl*sives
without a permit.

And for disturbing the peace.

Oh, we ain't gonna
win nohow, Ben Roy.

They got a law
against everything.

Let's go.

3858, repeat.

Where is that?

One-Adam-12, clear.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12,

see the woman... A 415.

6311 South Silva Avenue.

One-Adam-12, roger.

Unh-unh. Not enough
spray, my dear.

We don't want our
creation to fall apart, do we?

There. See?

Looks quiet to me.

You checking the
time on that color?

Go check it.

Oh.

Good afternoon, ma'am. Did
you call about a disturbance?

That's right, but she
didn't disturb me a bit.

What do you mean?

Oh, we get her type
in here all the time,

with complaints,
complaints. You know.

- What about your complaint?
- Look, they know
this is a beauty school,

and that students
work on them, right?

That's why my
prices are so cheap.

Haircut, shampoo, set,
all for $3. Is that cheap?

I ask you, is that cheap?

I really don't know, ma'am.

Well, let me tell
you that's cheap.

What do they expect for
three bucks? Vidal Sassoon?

Would you start at
the beginning, please?

Look, I'm Marnie Proud. Miss
Heavenly Hair, you might say.

I run this beauty school.

About that Laurie Ann
Harper... Mrs. Harper, she says.

Hmph. She thinks I don't know.

I'd recognize her
voice anywhere.

Drippin' with honeysuckle
and blackstrap molasses.

Well, just what
did she do, ma'am?

She telephoned
a few minutes ago.

Well, that's not disturbing
the peace, ma'am.

- No, but she threatened to.
- How?

She says she's got a b*mb
hidden here in this building.

And it's due to go off
in about ten minutes.

And you're just standing here?

What do you expect?

You don't want me to
disturb my clients, do you?

It's bad for business.

Ma'am, if this is for real, you're
not gonna have any business.

Miss Proud, we'll have to
check around for any object

that looks like a b*mb.
Do you want to help us?

I don't know why not.

You two look out
back. I'll check in here.

Okay, come with me.

Ladies, ladies.

Everything is fine.

That Southern-fried dingaling.

Calling me up with a
big lie about a b*mb.

Getting the police here,
upsetting my business,

- and now no b*mb.
- Count your blessings.

Now can you give us some
information about this Laurie Ann Harper?

- Her address?
- Look, all I know is,

she sashays in here
every Friday for a tint job.

Well, yesterday, one
of the girls, Eunice,

over-processed
her hair a little.

I offered to fix it, but no.

She storms right
out of the shop.

Could you give us a description?

Oh, she's about


but if she's a day
under 35, I'll eat my hat.

Height and weight?

Um, she's a little
taller than I am.

Maybe 10, 15 pounds lighter.

Always showing off her
figure in those miniskirts.

If you ask me, it's all
silicone and foam padding.

Color hair?

Um, well, uh, that's...

That's, uh, kind of
the point, you see.

There she is! There she is!

All right, now hold it. Come on.

All right. I called
her. So what?

I'm just sorry I didn't
have a real b*mb,

after what she did to me.

- It can't be all that bad.
- Oh, it can't be, huh?

Well, you take a look, mister.

Just take a look at this.

It looks like I'm wearing
a Spanish omelet.

And this isn't all.

It's just falling out
by the handfuls.

Now can you blame me?

There are other
ways, Mrs. Harper.

You could've
talked to an attorney.

What good's an attorney
gonna do me when I'm bald?

Who wants to date
a female cue ball?

I understood that
you were married.

I'm divorced.

Anyhow, what are y'all
creating such a fuss for?

I didn't commit any crime.

- I'm afraid you did.
- What?

A felony. Under Section


But I didn't do anything.

You made a false
b*mb report, Mrs. Harper.

Well, I didn't hurt anyone.

You might have. It's
happened before, you know.

People panicking in theatres
sometimes cause an injury, even death.

Well, what's the penalty?

We're police
officers, Mrs. Harper.

It'll be up to the judge.

Well, I know that, but
can't you just tell me?

If you're convicted,

it could be up to one
year in the county jail,

or three years in
the state prison.

Well, there is one consolation.

That should be plenty of time

for my hair to grow back in.

I think we just
spoiled Mac's day.

- How come?
- He couldn't find anything
wrong with our report.

Hallelujah.

You want to stop in and
see how Harold's doing?

- Yeah. Is he still here?
- Yeah, Mac says he is.

Sorry, Sergeant.
They're not here.

Or you couldn't identify them.

Or they have no
previous records.

- So no mugshots.
- It's possible.

- Hi, Harold.
- Hi.

- Got any more books?
- Fresh out.

Come on, son,
I'll take you home.

We're going back into
the field. We'll take him.

Okay, troops. He's all
yours. Thanks, Harold.

I had a feeling we'd
come up empty.

What made you think so?

When you've been in this
business as long as I have, Pete,

you'll learn as you can't
expect too much of a good thing.

He's been right about
everything so far, Sam.

Sure. He's a bright boy,
but no one's got total recall.

The kid's too good. Too bright.

He gives too much
detail to be believable.

To listen to him,

he could remember the
count on a gnat's whiskers.

Well, maybe he could,
if a gnat had whiskers.

You're a real
believer, aren't you?

Yeah, I believe him
until he's proven wrong.

Seven years on the
force, and still an optimist.

You know the difference
between you and me, Sam?

I'd say the cigar
box is half full,

and you'd say it's half empty.

First, I want to see the box.

It's right under
your nose, Sergeant.

When the police officer
came to our school last month,

he said that law and order
was everybody's business,

and we should all
help when we can.

Believe me, Harold, we can
use all the help we can get.

But I don't think Sergeant
Poster believes me.

Well, we do.

Hey, that's him! It's him!

Who?

In the Corvair. It's
one of the burglars.

- The younger one.
- I thought you said
he had short blonde hair.

It's him. Believe me.

Maybe we better check him out.

Will you have any trouble
getting home from here, Harold?

No, it's only a few blocks.

- Let me know what happens, huh?
- Sure thing.

I don't want him to rabbit.

I think I'll hang back and
see where he's headed.

Well, he's home.

Let's go ask him
a few questions.

One-Adam-12. Code 6, Adam.



Possible 459 suspect.

One-Adam-12, roger.

Code 6, Adam.

839 Pleasant Drive.
Possible 459 suspects.

Must not work.

Knuckles never fail.

Yes?

We're police officers.

We'd like to ask
you some questions.

What about?

Well, for openers,
is that your own hair?

That's... That's getting
kind of personal, isn't it?

Maybe, but we got
a reason for asking.

Of course it's my own hair.

Can we come in, please?

Someone told the cops!

I thought you said
this was your own hair.

It is. Bought and paid for.

How's the other one?

You better call an ambulance
and get a sergeant out here.

Why'd you guys come up
sh**ting for a few lousy burglaries?

Not the burglaries.

We're AWOL, due for Vietnam.

We don't believe
in w*r and k*lling.

- It's against our principles.
- Oh, sure it is.

Well, you two have got pretty
convenient principles, haven't you?

- How's that?
- You don't believe in w*r
and k*lling in Vietnam?

That's right.

But it's all right to k*ll
here in your own country.

How do you square that with
your so-called principles, buster?

We're gonna die for
your lousy establishment.

Let me ask you something.

What did your buddy die for?

Nothing.

Not one damn thing.

That's all of it, just
as Harold described.

Okay. You did real
good, youngster.

Thanks, Sergeant.

And if you don't mind
my correcting you,

my teacher says you should
say "well" instead of "good."

"Real well."

Yeah. Real well.

Well, like I say, not perfect.

What's wrong?

Well, Harold said the lamp
had six crystal pendants.

I see only five, don't you?

Must have come off.

What does it take to
make you a believer, Sam?