[playful orchestral music]
- Letter to Loretta
Starring Loretta Young
I'm very proud to present
the star of our show,
Miss Loretta Young.
[audience applauding]
- Hello.
I hope you are happy at your house tonight
and in the mood for a little fun
because our letter tonight is from a man
but is about a woman.
[laughs]
I thoroughly enjoyed this letter
because it's so clearly
the viewpoint of a man
about a woman,
and the various things
that a woman is supposed
to know best about.
"Dear Loretta,
"I do not ordinarily
write to strange females.
"You, however, appear to have
a head on your shoulders.
"A head, by the way,
"that bears quite a resemblance to hers,
"the subject of my letter.
"It all began one spring
day in a restaurant."
- [Steve Voiceover] One
spring day in a restaurant
off Madison Avenue,
where I was minding my own business,
which happens to be Managing
Editor of the Manhattan,
a magazine for smart New Yorkers.
[moody orchestral music]
[sighs loudly]
- Boss!
Don't tell me you bought a
copy of your own magazine.
- Jo, I hate this cover.
Look at it.
"Sweet, sticky, and sloppy."
Where's the humor in it?
- Don't knock it, boss.
Spring?
Two young people?
Tu veux l'amour?
It's good for everybody's circulation.
- Look, Jo, I'm trying to edit
a crispy, witty magazine.
- Freeze, boss.
I better still just disappear.
Your old friend Scarlet O'Nightgown
is about to att*ck from the rear.
- Oh, no.
[romantic music]
- Excuse me, please.
Hi, Mr. Baxter.
Ms. Jo.
Remember me, Amanda Norman?
- Yes indeed, Ms. Norman.
We shall always remember you.
- Oh, that's very kind of you.
Look, Mr. Baxter, I want
to show you something.
Now, you remember what you
said about the neckline?
- Yes.
- Yes, well I had them change it.
See?
Now, can't we please place
our ad in your magazine?
- Ms. Norman, I told you the
Manhattan does not run ads
of this caliber.
Try the Parisian Gazette.
Or better still, try life.
And please, stay out of mine, hm?
- Oh, that's good.
Most of the so-called humor
in your magazine escapes me,
but that's good.
- Thank you.
Jo, when you get back to the office
would you call Macy's and check with them
about my electric blanket?
It should have been delivered by now.
- Roger.
Over and out.
Goodbye, Ms. Norman.
- Goodbye, Ms. Jo.
Electric blanket?
Mr. Baxter, it's spring.
- So I've been told, Ms. Norman.
Now, if you'll excuse me
I'm waiting for an luncheon engagement.
- Oh, that's nice.
So am I.
Oh, come on Mr. Baxter.
Look at that.
Now, you do like it, don't you, huh?
- Would you please put
that questionable art away?
Here comes my publisher.
- Oh, and my date.
Hi, Mr. Forbes.
I'm over here.
- Good afternoon, Amanda.
- Oh, good afternoon.
- You two finally got together, I see.
- I see you two have
already gotten together.
- Yes, Mr. Baxter.
I went over your head.
But your nice boss here
says your the boss.
- Thanks, Mr. Forbes.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
- Mr. Baxter.
- Hm?
- Electric blankets notwithstanding,
it is spring,
and the girls are here to stay.
[laughs]
- Poor Steve.
He's becoming a resigned widower.
Lives in a world all his own.
- Oh.
And just what constitutes
Mr. Baxter's world?
[laughs]
[playful orchestral music]
[doorbell buzzing]
- No nighties, and goodnight.
- Oh, please, Mr. Baxter.
I won't take up two minutes of your time.
I just want to prove to you
how harmless my merchandise is.
Now, they say that one
picture is worth 10,000 words.
So I thought I'd drive all
fears right out of your mind.
Here, would you hold my coat, please?
Now there.
Feminine?
Yes.
Marilyn Monroe?
No!
Does it look exactly like an evening gown?
Yes.
Could you walk down the
street in Boston in it?
Of course.
Now, do I get my space or don't I?
- Space?
- Oh, please Mr. Baxter.
I promised my boss I'd get
that space in your magazine,
and I just couldn't break my word.
- Oh, well I, uh, it looks okay to me.
- It does?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, that's fine.
Now, right here in my
pocket I've got a pen
and a little thing I want you to sign.
Come right over here, please.
Right here.
And just sign right there.
That's good.
Now, my coat please.
The other way around.
That's right.
Thank you.
Oh, and if you'll forgive
the expression, Mr. Baxter,
nighty nighty.
[playful orchestral music]
- Hello, Jo?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I know it's late, but I just remembered.
Tomorrow early, call my ticket broker.
Tell Sam I want a pair of
his best for all the hits.
Oh, and don't lock up the next issue yet.
I got another ad I want to include.
What?
Oh, Norman's nighties.
Well, what's so funny?
[playful orchestral music]
- [Steve Voiceover] We
enjoyed the theater,
and the midnight supper afterwards.
We took in all the hit shows,
and then all the flops,
and then we started all over again.
[laughs] I guess we enjoyed each other.
Finally, she invited me to
her house in Connecticut
for a quiet evening in the country.
[playful orchestral music]
[doorbell ringing]
- Darling.
- Hi.
- Aw!
Oh, for me?
- I didn't want to be empty-handed.
- Oh, Mr. Baxter, you've
got toting privileges.
Oh, they're beautiful.
Mm, come on in to my parlor.
There.
- Oh, what a perfect
man trap you have here.
- You like it?
- Soft lights, sweet music.
It's perfect.
- Mm.
- What could possibly spoil this?
- Aw.
Myron, my son.
Myron, dear, this is Mr. Baxter.
- How do you do, Mr. Baxter?
I've heard a lot about you.
- Uh, how do you do, Myron?
I haven't heard a word about you.
- Good.
Usually Mom talks too much about me, huh?
- Oh, that's just
because you're a good boy
and I love you very much.
So don't start picking on me.
Now, you just entertain Mr. Baxter
while I fix my roses.
- Amanda?
- Yeah?
- You're not married.
- Oh, no.
No, I'm in the same spot you are.
My husband d*ed five years ago.
- Oh.
- Uh, didn't I tell you?
- Well no, you didn't.
- Oh.
- And as a matter of fact,
I didn't tell you I'd been married either.
- Well there, you see?
I knew about you and I just
supposed that you knew about me.
Not that it matters.
I'll be right back.
- Would you please sit down, Mr. Baxter?
- Oh, thank you.
- Can I mix you a drink?
- Uh, well,
sure.
- What would you like?
- Uh.
- I make a heck of a Roy Roger.
- Oh fine, no, whatever
you're drinking, Myron.
- Oh, I stick strictly to orange soda.
You'd better try the R and R.
Ice.
Sugar.
Lemon.
Bitters.
Root beer.
- Certainly is a nice place
you've got here, Myron.
- Thank you.
We find it very comfortable.
It's really more than we need,
but Mom makes so much money
she says we should live it up.
- Oh.
- Some people use plain soda.
I prefer root beer.
- So do I.
- Garbage?
- What?
Oh, sure, the works.
Oh, it's good.
It's very good.
- Thank you.
I'm noted for my R and R's.
What's this?
- I beg your pardon?
- What's this?
- I don't know.
- The other half of this.
- Oh.
- What's this?
A run around the block.
What's this?
- I don't know.
- That's a butterfly with a hiccup.
- Oh no, not you, too.
- [laughs] Myron, I have
something new for you.
Now, put your hands like this.
That's right.
Now put one fist on top of the other.
That's right.
Now say "wing, wing."
- Wing, wing.
- Hewwo? [laughs]
- I've got to remember that one.
- That's good, isn't it?
Now, what's this?
- It's the end of a love affair.
- [Steve Voiceover] It all
seemed like a horrible dream.
To find a girl like Amanda,
fall in love with her,
and then find out she comes equipped
with a hot and cold running monster.
- What's this?
[playful orchestral music]
[snapping]
What's this?
[stressful orchestral music]
What's this?
What's this?
What's this?
What's this? What's this?
What's this? What's this?
What's this? What's this?
What's this? What's this?
- [Steve Voiceover] I didn't
see Amanda for a while,
but I knew I couldn't
keep that up for long.
If only Myron would go away on a trip.
And then I found the answer.
Right in my own magazine I found it,
on the bottom of page 64,
a small add with two words in bold type.
Two magical words.
"Summer camp!"
[playful orchestral music]
[doorbell buzzing]
- Oh, Steve, darling.
Am I too terribly late?
- Amanda, darling, you're never too late.
- Aw.
[laughs] You're sweet.
- How do you do, Mr. Baxter?
- Myron!
- Well, the poor little
fella missed his train
back to Connecticut.
I hope you don't mind having
an extra guest for dinner.
- Oh, I won't be any trouble.
I watch television.
- Uh huh.
Well, the television's
in the study, Myron.
- Hey Mom.
- Yeah?
- Guess what program I'm going to watch.
- Well, I don't know.
- Knock, knock.
- Oh.
Who's there?
- Dumb.
- Dumb who?
♪ Dum dum dum dum ♪
- Oh, of course.
That's one of his favorite programs.
- Such a nice little boy.
- Yes.
And you know, he's quite right.
He's absolutely no trouble at all.
And you know something?
He commutes every day.
- Hm.
He seems so young to be working.
- Oh, no silly.
He commutes to school.
- Oh, no schools in Connecticut?
- Of course there are.
- Mm, that's nice.
But it got so we never saw each other
when he went to school there.
And now we have the
train ride in the morning
and in the evening.
And twice a week we can
have lunch together.
And then, you see, if I have
to stay in town at night
then the Wilcox boy takes him back.
Usually.
It's an ideal arrangement all right.
- Ideal, you're always together.
- Mm-hmm.
- But don't you find it
terribly inconvenient?
- Oh, no.
Of course not.
We have lots of fun together.
Besides, nothing could be inconvenient
where your own child is concerned.
- Sweet.
- Mm-hm.
- Advertisers of ours.
- Oh!
Camp Pine Cone, huh?
- Doesn't that look inviting?
- In colorful Nova Scotia.
- Now, wouldn't Myron love that?
- Myron?
I can't possibly think why.
- Well, the sea air,
it's great for the lungs.
- Well, there's nothing
wrong with his lungs.
- Oh, that's right.
Well, travel is broadening.
And you know, they say it's
wonderful for little tykes
to be out on their own for four months.
- [laughs] Steve, you're not serious.
You're not suggesting that
I send a six-year-old boy
all the way up to the Arctic Circle?
- Well, the climate is
different, you know.
And bracing, and the--
- And there's money in being an Eskimo
if you start in young enough
and get in on the ground floor?
Is that it?
- Well, I was just trying to...
- To what?
- Well.
- Steven.
- Hm?
- I don't think you like Myron.
- Oh, no, Amanda.
Don't be silly.
- I'm not being silly.
I'm just being practical.
I mean, well,
what happens if we get married?
- [laughs] We can cross that
bridge when we come to it.
After all, there's nothing
really wrong with Myron.
He's just a little bit
spoiled, that's all.
- I suppose I do spoil him a little bit.
But after all, that's only normal.
I am the boy's mother.
But then you couldn't understand that,
because you don't have
any children of your own.
- It so happens that I have two.
Two little girls, seven and nine.
- Why Steve!
You never told me that.
Where are they?
- At Briarhurst.
Uh, wood.
Briarwood in Virginia.
It's a very fine school.
- Oh.
What's wrong?
Is Novia Scotia all filled up?
- Now Amanda, don't be ridiculous.
- You know, you're really
something, you are.
Here you have two little girls
and you never even mentioned them.
[Laughs] I bet you haven't
even seen them in years.
- Now don't try to turn me into a monster.
- Turn you into a monster?
You are!
Steve Baxter, you're
a sick, heartless man.
That's what you are.
And if you're not healthy enough
to love your own two daughters,
how could you ever possibly
love me enough to marry me?
Oh, no, you go right ahead and
send those poor little things
from winter camp to summer camp
and summer camp to winter camp.
But not my child.
He's going to stay home here
with me, where he belongs.
You see, I just don't happen to think
that my child is inconvenient.
[moody orchestral music]
[doorbell buzzing]
- Well, here we are.
These are your children, in
case you've forgotten them.
At least I hope they're your children.
You just paid to have their teeth cleaned.
Smile, kiddies.
- But I,
I thought the dentist appointment
wasn't until the 23rd.
- Today is the 23rd, all day.
- Oh, of course.
And it's so nice to see you
no matter what day it is.
How are you, Nancy?
Natalie?
- Fine.
- Well, come on in.
My, don't we look pretty?
- Look at the kids when you say that.
I'm a mess.
Oh, and I have a date in 20 minutes.
So Daddy, you're on your own.
- Jo, can't you?
- No, I can't.
Goodnight, girls.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, boss.
- Well, well, well.
Well, don't just stand there, come on in.
Make yourselves at home.
After all, this is your home.
Sit down and take your coats off.
And I'll tell Cook you're here,
and then we'll have some dinner, okay?
- Okay.
- Hi.
Where is everybody?
- Daddy's in the kitchen.
- My name's Myron Norman.
I didn't quite catch your names.
- Well, tell Myron your names.
- I'm Natalie Baxter.
- I'm Nancy.
- I didn't know you had
any children, Mr. Baxter.
Where do you go to school?
- When somebody asks you a question
it's only polite to answer, girls.
You're not babies anymore.
As a matter of fact,
Myron is two years younger
than you are, Natalie.
- Age really has nothing to do with it.
It just takes a while for some kiddies
to get used to strangers.
It's a matter of upbringing.
I like people because
my mother likes people.
What's this?
- I don't know.
- The Quinns taking a shower.
- You girls might laugh.
- Easy, I'll bring them around.
What's this?
[snapping]
- I don't know, what is it?
- A ping pong game.
What's this?
[snapping]
- What is it?
- A professional ping pong game.
What's this?
- I don't know.
- The other half of this.
[laughing]
What's this?
[playful orchestral music]
- And that was Myron's mother.
- [Steve Voiceover] What I tried to learn
was whether a woman should put
a spoiled child before love.
I looked for the solution in
the child psychology books.
It wasn't there.
I guess there isn't any solution for me,
except forget Amanda.
Which I am doing.
And look around for a more sensible woman.
- Uh, Doreen, did I remember to tell you?
You look very special.
- No, you didn't.
And I'm hurt, because this
dress is brand-new for tonight.
Isn't it the end?
I had to call out the
militia to get into it.
- A lucky militia.
- Oh, Steven.
I'm so glad we're having dinner in.
- Good, so am I.
Doreen, do you like children?
- Steven, I've only known you a week.
- Yeah, well I was just wondering.
- Why is it men just don't
know how to tie bow knots?
There.
And for good measure.
[Laughing]
- Oh, uh, Doreen I'd like to have you meet
my two little girls.
- Yours?
- Mm-hmm.
Natalie and Nancy Baxter,
this is Ms. Drake.
- How do you do, Ms. Drake?
- Not very well.
- You remember Ms. Drake, girls.
I showed you her picture
on the cover of Vogue.
- Oh yes, you were funny.
- I'm a riot, all right.
[playful orchestral music]
- Doreen, we'll take the kids home
and then you and I can go someplace, okay?
- Goodie.
The zoo, maybe?
- What's this, Ms. Drake?
Running around the block.
- [laughs] That's one of my favorites.
What's this?
[snapping]
- A large man having a small fit.
- Oh no, come on.
What is it, huh?
- A butterfly with the hiccups?
- Oh, you're right.
- I've a new one for you.
- What is it?
- What's this?
- I don't know.
- A spider doing push-ups on a mirror.
- [laughs] That's wonderful.
Doreen, I'd like...
- Oh, she's gone.
- So she has.
- Yes.
- Watch.
What's this?
- I don't know.
- Mr. Baxter and daughters,
hoping that Mrs. Norman and son
will join them for another
scoop of ice cream.
- Oh, we'd be delighted.
Come on, Myron.
- Oh, you look beautiful.
- Oh, do I?
- Come on, girls.
- Thank you very much.
You look well.
- And you know you were absolutely right?
- About what?
- They're really a lot of fun
when you get to know them.
- [laughs] Oh, but of course they are.
I told you that.
[playful orchestral music]
- Well, Steve.
Thanks for your charming letter.
And for supplying everything tonight.
According to your postscript,
even the answer.
Congratulations to you both.
And to your three wonderful children.
You know someday if I ever learn
to write as well as you do,
I'll tell you how I met my husband.
Meanwhile, I've taken the
quote from Bobby Burns,
because if that day should
ever come I'll need it.
"O, wad some Power the giftie gie us
"To see ourselves as others see us!"
[playful orchestral music]
01x08 - Kid Stuff
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The program began with the premise that each drama was an answer to a question asked in her fan mail; the program's original title was Letter to Loretta.
The program began with the premise that each drama was an answer to a question asked in her fan mail; the program's original title was Letter to Loretta.