05x01 - A Dollar's Worth

[bunniefuu]

[waves crashing]

[everyone chattering]

They walked right up to him and he says, I beg your pardon.

I've only had ti martwonis. But the drunker

I stand here, the longer I get.

[laugh]

That's pretty good, Thelma, for a clean one.

Oh, sure.

The dirty ones I leave you guys.

You know, once when I was a kid, I remember seeing this gal at a party.

She was telling a bunch of fellas dirty jokes. May I have

the other hand, please? Well, they was laughing, all right.

Real hard too, but at her. Not with her, you know?

Oh, the poor thing.

Anyway, I said to myself right then, Thelma, child. So a sampler.

Never be one of the boys if you want to be one of their girls.

Oh.

Who's the lucky guy to have you for his girl?

Girl.

Oh, honey.

You better have your glasses reground. Girl, yes?

Don't let her kid you, Mr. Allison. There isn't a man comes

in here and doesn't try to get at least one smile out of her.

Oh, Andy. Don't pay attention to him. He's my press agent.

So you're through with men, are you, Thelma?

I had mine. I got some grand memories.

I got a real pretty fourteen year old daughter.

Your husband dead?

We lost him about eleven years ago.

Well, you are gorgeous, Mr. Allison. Come back and see us soon.

I certainly will.

-Thank you, Thelma. -Oh, thank you.

-So long. -Bye.

-Good afternoon, Mr. Allison. -Bye, Andy.

It must be love.

Oh, he's a sweetheart, all right.

So well, he doesn't think of you as the bride of Frankenstein, exactly.

Oh, Andy, will you stop it? [laughs]

You'd think I was a year old the way you go b*ating a

brush, trying to find me a man to clutter up my life.

Oh, thanks.

I'm doing just fine the way I am.

Couldn't be happier, hmm?

Why don't you go pip a poodle?

[laugh]

Oh, hi, Baby.

Hi Thelma.

-None of this cutesy talk. -Hi Ruby, hi Andy.

-Oh, hello Maxie. -Well.

Aren't you dressed up! You going somewhere?

Oh, no. Just coming from school.

How'd the test go?

Couldn't care less.

Oh, sweetie, don't say things like that.

What do they expect a girl like me to do with square root?

Well, you never can tell, princess.

One of these days you may have to work for a living.

Oh, I doubt it. [laugh]

Hey, honey, have you got $ on you?

Well, I guess I could scare it up. Why?

Elsie Walter's had on a sweater today and it looks just like mink.

No.

Not up close, of course, but oh, it's so cute.

It's only $, and it really looks like something expensive.

Besides, I need a new sweater.

[laugh] Honey, the only thing you need is more closet space.

-Oh, Thelma. -Here.

-There's a . -Thanks, Thelma.

And baby, remember, I want that $ change.

- Oh, honey. See you, Andy. - Yeah.

Boy.

Did you ever believe you were that young once and that pretty?

Or that empty headed?

Don't you think it's time that young lady's head

was weighted down with something besides curls?

Unscramble that Andy.

And yes, thanks very much. I'd love a coke.

I mean she has absolutely no idea of responsibility.

Now, I'm an old man, so you can't hit me for stepping out of line.

But, Thelma, you shouldn't give that kid everything she asks for.

Thanks.

Why not, Andy? If it makes her happy.

Besides, what's $? I get more than that in tips.

Yes, but you earn it.

Maxie's never worked for anything in her life. She waltzes in here

day after day and you spill over like a broken slot machine.

She doesn't have the slightest idea what a dollar is worth.

Well, what is a dollar's worth? I'll tell you.

It's worth just about as much fun as you can squeeze out of it.

And for me, most fun in life is seeing Maxie smile.

Giving her all the things she wants to keep her happy.

Oh, I may be just a manager, but my kid gets the be.

Ouch.

I've working on that nail for a week now.

Ruby, got any more of that nail fixed, honey, I'm all out.

Why don't you cut that finger on?

[laugh] I will one of these days.

Listen Themly, imitation mink isn't going to make

her smile for long. Her appetite is growing fast.

Where are you going to get the money to support her



in the manner you've made her, but so accustomed to?

Listen.

I pay my bills

and mostly in cash.

And for your information, I have double A rate.

Okay okay, I didn't say anything about you.

They just called down from BB. Pendleton suite.

His Majesty wants a hair trim and a manicure.

-We'll be there. -just right now.

Yeah, we're coming right now.

What do you say to a cattle king?

Bhoo...[laugh]

Hey, Ruby. I understand B.B. Pendleton

having a press conference up there.

Now come on, move you two.

Coming?

Yeah yeah, I'm coming.

[running]

Come on in, honey. That's all right. Don't be shy.

Just come right down back if the camera is here.

Take this chair.

And I have a dandy hangnail for ya.

Yes, thank you.

How much has the Colosseum set you back, B.B.?

Set me back?

Get this, Tom.

Gentlemen, I see this as a great step forward.

A great step.

I've always wanted to show my appreciation.

So the little woman and I said, "How about a statue?"

- Miss? - And if we're going to put up a statue,

who are we going to put up a statue of?

Say cheese for the camera, huh.

Come on, honey. Turned around and put your face in the camera.

You're pretty enough to be a picture.

So smile.

I'm awful sorry, fellas, but the cameras make me sneeze.

Okay.

Cameras make her sneeze.

[laugh]

Good night, madam.

Good night, everybody. See you tomorrow.

-Thelma. -Wait, where are you going?

Aren't you going to stay and see your close up on the o'clock news?

Oh, Andy they're not going to use that stuff of us.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Jack Higgins bringing you the o'clock news.

On the local front, B. B. Pendleton dedicated his

multimillion dollar sports arena today.

Here he is at his hotel getting ready for the activity.

Unfortunately, the very attractive manicurist was camera short.

We didn't manage the sh*t however pretty. Well we thought so.

You know it.

Her name's Thelma. We're sorry, but that's all the information we got.

Not very good reporting, boys. Also in the local news

Well, I sure don't have to worry about no movie career.

What do you mean? Honey, you look wonderful.

Oh, aren't you glad you didn't take that bet now?

Yeah, I sure am. Well, anyway, I got to go. Good night.

Hey, wait a minute. I'll stand around the drinks.

It isn't often we have a celebrity in our mid.

Thank you. I can't. I really haven't. I haven't even done

my shopping yet. I'll see you all tomorrow. Good night.

[laugh] That's a good one.

How does the t*nk go again?

The drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

I'll have to remember that the wife will get a kick out of it.

Oh, yeah. You can have a lot of fun with that one, Mr. Riddle Bye.

Bye.

To-to.

Thank you.

Andy, I understand you have some business for me down this end.

-Yes, he wants them fairly short. -Yes, I get it.

It sounds the first knuckle. [laugh]

feeling fasty again.

No.

And right up there and vinegar. Can't keep

a good girl down and you to know that.

It's all the trick.

Shall we start with this hand?

Hello Thelma.

It is Thelma, isn't it?

Yes.

I caught you on TV last night.

You're looking great.

Thanks.

I was sitting in this bar.

All of a sudden you came on the screen.

Kind of threw me for a second when they called you Thelma.

Then I got a good look and I knew it was you.

Well, I never did like Sylvia very much.

My mother's name is Thelma, so I just switched, that's all.

Miss Chicago?

Not very much.

How's Maxie?

Oh, she's just fine.

Still call her Maxie after her old man? - Yeah.

Excuse me, will you?

You two knew each other in Chicago?

Yeah, she and I are pretty good friends.



Somehow we just lost track of one another.

She almost gone home. She didn't feel so hot.

How do you like this sir?

-You want the medium or long? -Short.

[music]

Do you want to leave a message for Thelma?

No, I just told her good bye.

Of course.

Glad to.

-Hi, Andy. -Oh, hello Maxie.

Where is Thelma?

Oh, your mother went home a headache.

Darn it.

Is there anything I can do?

Oh, Andy, would you? I need $.

Just now coming across the lobby, I saw a bathing suit on

sale in the patio shop, and it's simply out of this world.

On sale for . A bathing suit? Oh, Maxie, I think that

Down Andy.

I didn't ask you for your tips on shopping.

Will you or won't you? Time's wasting.

No, I'm afraid I won't. Not without an okay from your mother.

$. Honestly? Big deal.

Here, that ought to do it.

Yes, sir. Thank you.

Here, uh, miss.

Uh, give this to, uh, the other girl. Thelma... what's her name?

Brown.

Yeah, that's right. Brown. Thelma Brown.

Thanks.

Come on, honey, hurry up.

Why? If you would just tell me why we have to move. It doesn't make any sense."],…}

Oh, no, honey, it isn't that we have to move. It's just that...

Well business isn't so good down in the shop,

and I figure now is the time to roll on.

I don't want to gather no moss, you know.

Anyway. Well, you yourself said this town was squaresville.

Remember?

Let's give San Francisco a try, shall we?

Maybe it's corners are a little rounder.

Now, come on, darling.

Get your pretty self in there and get yourself packed.

I'm not going.

You what?

If you want to run all over creation like a

gypsy, that's up to you. I'm staying here.

But why, honey? I mean, why would you want to stay here?

Because I just managed an intro to d*ck Tyler.

Oh, you mean that kid down the hall?

That young man down the hall, and I'm staying.

You mean, with or without me, you're just staying?

That's right.

How do you propose to pay the rent, princess?

Well, if you're going to be small about it, I'll pay for it somehow.

Why do you mean small?

If you think I'm going to dish out two rents every month

I said I pay for it.

And how would you pay for it?

You are a fourteen years old.

and you think for one minute I'm gonna leave you in this apartment

alone you've...

Oh, what am I doing arguing with you.

Just get yourself up there. Get yourself in.

And pack yourself before I belt you one.

Honestly.

Listen, you might as well get it through that

bleached head of yours that I'm not going.

[slaping]

I should have done that a long time ago.

Boy, what a mess I've made out of you.

And you sure hit it on the head, all right.

A broken down slot machine and her spoiled rotten daughter.

And I thought we were so close,

you and me.

You wouldn't even care if I went away as long

as the money came in regularly, would you?

Well, would you?

Of course I'd care.

Look at me.

Look at me, Maxie.

What do you think of me?

That's a pretty silly question.

Sure is at this stage of the game, but I suddenly don't know.

What do you think of me?

I love you very much.

Why?

Why do you love me?

-You're my mother. -But that's no reason.

Why? Why do you love me?

Well, you're good to me and...

And?

Oh, let's stop this. I'll go wherever you want

to go. Let's just stop all the stupid talk.

I don't think it's so stupid. I think for the first time--

What is it?

It's probably for me.

Wait a minute.

I'm expecting a COD.

Maxie, don't.

What is the matter with you tonight?



Don't open at the door.

Why?

Hello.

Who is it? Who do you want?

Sylvia?

You got the wrong apartment, Mr. There's no Sylvia in here.

Is that you, Maxie?

Yes.

Who is it?

Is your mother there?

Who is it?

Open the door.

Go away Max.

We're not opening the door, so just go away.

Come on Maxie, open the door.

She's not going to open it. You understand me?

So just go away before I call the police.

Who is it, Mother? You tell me who it is.

-Quiet. -Come on, tell her Sylvia.

Mother.

I'm your father, Maxie.

Now would you open the door?

My father?

Is he really my father?

Yeah.

Is this what all the moving is about?

Yeah, yeah.

He came into the shop today.

I was afraid he'd pull something like this.

Maxie, Maxie opened the door.

Why did you tell me he was dead?

Because I wanted him dead.

I wanted him dead and buried as far as you're concerned.

[door knocking] Maxie.

I'm going to open the door.

Maxie.

Well, he's my father and I want to see him.

Okay, okay. You just go and open the door. I can't tell you anything,

so you run the show the way you want it. I'm finished.

[door opening]

-Hello, Maxie. -Hi.

Can I come in, Syl?

Well, that's very funny, I must say.

You practically break the door down

and then you say, "Can I come in, Syl?"

Sure, come in.

Thanks Maxie. I won't stay.

I just want to talk to your mother for a minute.

When did you get out?

Last year.

You were in prison?

Yes, Maxie.

What for?

Forgery.

Don't forget all those bouncy little checks.

I won't.

At least you didn't k*ll anyone.

No, Maxie.

Could I talk to you alone?

Oh, honestly you really do take the prize.

Now you want to talk to me alone? You barge in here

and ruin everything. Now you want to talk to me alone.

Okay, Maxie. Go on in the bedroom and wait.

You won't hurt her?

Hurt her?

What have you been telling this kid about me?

Nothing.

I told her absolutely nothing about you.

I thought you were dead.

Dead?

Yeah.

Well, better dead than where you were.

Oh, Max, why didn't you leave things the way they were?

What's the good of all this?

Look, I came back because of the kid.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

Suddenly up to here in fatherly concern, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right I am.

-Looks Syl, -Nobody asked you to sit down, Max.

Okay.

What I started say was

you're doing the very same thing to that kid that I did to you.

I am.

Well, what's your version of what you did to me.

I spoiled you.

Oh, well, guess that's one way of putting that. I don't know.

And now you're spoiling her.

What do you know about her anyway?

You come barging in here, sh**ting off your mouth.

You don't know anything about her. Not one single thing.

All right, now take it easy, Syl.

Oh, my foot.

When you walked out of that shop today,

I said to myself, "Okay, this is it."

I tried, but this is the way she wants it.

That's right. That is the way I wanted it.

But then Maxie comes walking in

and that baby wanted $ for a bathing suit.



Well, so?

So it reminded me a great deal of my wife.

Oh, it did, did it?

Well, may I point out the great difference, Max, old boy?

Anything that Maxie gets is paid for in cold, hard earned cash.

And you think that makes a difference?

Well, it certainly does in my book.

Well, it doesn't.

It didn't to you and it didn't to her.

You didn't know if a thing was paper.

You didn't even give the bills a thought.

And I don't think she does either.

[laugh]

That's just great. So now all your troubles are my fault.

No.

No, Syl, it was my fault, but trying to buy you.

For what?

I was afraid to say no to you.

Afraid you wouldn't love me.

I'm scared to death I'd lose you.

I knew there were plenty of guys you could have married.

All of them with better jobs and more money.

There sure were.

But I married you max.

Yeah.

And every day I kept thinking one day

you might think you made a mistake.

Why I?

Why did?

I love you.

And I loved you, Syl.

Now,

so what happend?

I'll tell you what happened.

I didn't have sense enough of the time to demand anything from you.

I want to do all giving.

Well, as funny as that sounds.

It's selfish.

You, uh,

You think so huh?

Yeah.

Well anyway that's why I came back.

I spoiled you and I didn't even know it.

Maybe you don't know how you spoiling the kid.

Yeah I know Max.

I just found out. Just now.

Well.

Just as long as you know.

Look on that blame in Syl.

I never did.

Yeah.

but when that baby walked in today and asked

demanded $ for a bathing suit

All I can think about is

what about the poor guy she marries?

When she marries the poor guy,

their story could turn out just exactly like ours.

I really could spend it.

Couldn't I?

You were pretty good at it.

Yes.

You're right about one thing too.

I never did give the bills a thought.

But why?

Well.

It's all paid for now.

I guess.

Don't let it happen to Maxie,

what happened to us.

You wanna know something real funny?

When they first sent you away, I... Gee, I sure thought

you'd disgraced us. It just never dawned on me that...

Well, it's pretty late for speeches at this point, wouldn't you say?

Yeah.

- So long, Syl. - Yeah, so long.

You, uh, you live around here?

Yeah, across the river.

Got a dime?

That's just about it.

Hate to start to spend it on me again

but why don't you give me a call? I'm in

the phone book. I call myself Thelma Brown.

Yeah I know.

You sure you want me to give you a call?

Oh, right now I'm not sure of anything, but

it's a try.

I would like to see Maxie.

Sure.

And you.

So call.

From the suitcases, I uh,

I was wondering if you are leaving town.

No, we'll uh, we stick around.

I'll see you soon.

[door closing]

Thelma.

I'm sorry, honey.

Oh, cut it out, will you? Gosh, we all can't be sorry.

You're sorry, I'm sorry. Your father's sorry.

He seems nice.



Oh, a juror at the door, huh?

Take him back, mother.

Wonder if he's got a job.

Take him back. I'll scrub floors, anything.

You get a buck for scrubbing the floor,

it costs you $ for a manicure afterward.

I mean it, Mother.

[crying]

[crying]

What are you crying for?

I'm sorry, baby. I just cried for all the dress

shops in Kansas City. They just lost their best customer, you.

[music]