03x09 - Should Have Known Better

[bunniefuu]

I'm a giant f*ck-up.

I'm sorry, Cap.

LOUDERMILK: 2011, Lizzie Poole puts out her debut album,

and I write
a really bad review of it.

One bad review
and you just quit?

I felt like a failure!

Please, leave me alone!

Cup of coffee?

[SOFT ROCK]

♪ ♪

You ever tried yerba mate?

No, I keep hearing
about it, though.

Yeah, you should try it.

It's... It's a serious
mood enhancer.

Why?

Do I look like I need
my mood enhanced?

No, I... I do.

It, uh, gives me
a little bump.

Makes me feel kind
of the opposite
of miserable.

You mean happy?

Ish.

Yeah.

Can I help you, sir?

Uh, yeah,
can I get a latte grande

and a large cup
of hot water, please.

I have my own teabags.

Oh, I'm sorry.
We don't serve hot water.

Well, I'm happy to pay
for the cup.

Just charge me
a corkage fee.

I can't.

It's against our store policy
to serve hot water.

Why?

Well, someone can throw it
in somebody else's face.

Well, I can get tea, right?

Okay, so just
get me the tea,

and don't put the teabags
in there.

No, I'd have to put
the teabags in the tea.

Okay, so I have
my own teabags.

It's yerba mate
'cause you guys
don't carry it.

So how about
I give them to you,

and then you could
put them in.

I would really like
to help you, sir,

but we just
don't take teabags
over the counter.

It's like they keep
finding new ways to...

Okay, I could get
black coffee, right?

Of course.

What's to keep me
from throwing that
in someone's face?

Are you threatening me, sir?No.

I'm ask... You said...
You said I couldn't
do the hot water.

Hot coffee is hot water
with coffee in it.

Mmm, not the same.Why not?

I don't have to order it
with cream, do I?

No.No, so it'd be hot.
Like hot water.

Excuse me,
I'm gonna get my manager.

Are you f*cking
kidding me, man?

Just give the guy
a cup of hot water.

Okay.

Just this once though

'cause I'm not supposed
to be doing this.

We appreciate you looking
the other way, Schindler.

Thank you.

Geez.

[FRANZ FERDINAND'S
STAND ON THE HORIZONPLAYS]

♪ ♪

I wanted to thank you
for getting my guitar back.

Aww, you're welcome.

That was way easier
than I expected it to be.

Well, thanks.

It was very nice of you.

That accent, that's not
from around here, right?

Illinois, originally.

Ah, what part?Rock Island.

Yeah, of Quad Cities, right?

Yeah, um,
is from there.

Great videos.Yeah, they're awesome.

It took a lot for you
to own up to what you did,

to come and look me up
and everything.

I respect that.
That's maturity.

And now I have
to be mature,

and let you know that

everything
that happened to me,
that wasn't all you.

It couldn't have been.

That review, it wouldn't have
hurt my feelings so much

if I had have been
where I was supposed to be.

I didn't have
the confidence yet.

I wasn't ready.

Yes, you were.
You were amazing.

No, if I was ready,
it would've rolled off
my shoulders.

It would've meant nothing.

There were other factors
involved.

Many factors.

Things like I'm still
coming to terms with.

So I'm sorry
that I put that on you.

It wasn't fair.

All right, so the question is
what are we gonna do about it?

What can we do?
Forgive?

Forgiveness is nice,

but, you know,
there's something better
in redemption.

Lizzie, you blew my mind
at Sounds and Grounds.

You're f*cking great.
You gotta get back out there.

You make it sound
easier than it is.

You just take it
one step at a time.
It's like sobriety.

Sobriety's about
quitting something.

This is about
taking something on.

No, no,
it's about being
who you are.

That's the reason
you're on this planet,
right?

To be who you are?

Spoken like
a yerba mate drinker.

All right, A,
I just started
drinking yerba mate,

and B, that was the most
New Age thing I've ever said,

and I'm embarrassed.

But I stand
by the sentiment.

You've got to get back
on the horse.

I don't know.Yes, you do.

You're a f*cking rock star,
and everybody
who hears you knows it.

And if you got
off your ass,

you'd be exactly
where you deserve to be.

Even if I wanted
to play music again,

I don't have a band anymore.

I got one for you.

MUGSY: So how were things

down at the new office,
little lady?

They're paying you
as much as the guys,
right?

Yeah, they're
really cool, Dad.

I still have a lot to learn,

but everybody's very nice
and helps me
whenever they can.

I have two work friends now,
Angelo and Monica.

Hmm!

So is there anybody
that you need me
to come down and b*at up?

No, Dad.'Cause I'll do it.

I'll come right down
to your office

and I will take care
of business.

Doesn't matter man or woman.

I know how
to adjust my stance
based on gender.

Well, speaking of you
coming by my work,

we're having this stupid,
like, mixer thing

to build camaraderie
or something.

I don't know,
it's not really clear,

but everybody's
bringing their spouse,

and since Mark is going
out of town, I, um...

Wait, wait.
Who's Mark again?

My boyfriend.Oh, that's right.

The ugly guy
from all your photos.

Yeah, he's the one that...

What, you think he's ugly?

You were asking me
something?

Well, since Ugly is going
to be out of town,

I was thinking that maybe
you could come with me
to the party?

Yeah, yeah.
That would be fun.

You don't have to.No, no.

I... I... Yeah.
I... I wanna go.
I wanna go.

So I... I... I don't...
Do I bring anything?

Is there, like,
a dress code?

I mean, yeah.

It's kind of fancy,
so like a... Like a suit.

Ah, all right.

Well, I have...
I have dress jeans,

I have a white shirt,

I have a, like,
a boxy windbreaker

that might pass
as a blazer, so...

Hmm, yeah.
That works.

Or I can rent a tux.No, no, no.

Windbreaker, definitely.

Okay.

Well, then,
windbreaker it is.

Thank you so much
for doing this.

You know,
it really means a lot.

Are you
freaking kidding me?

I'm the lucky one here.

Well, I will see
you tomorrow.

Yes, you will.In your windbreaker suit.

So you do want me
to rent a tux.

No, no, no.
I demand the windbreaker.

Okay, I will be
in my windbreaker.

Hey, I'm really excited
about this, hon.

Yeah, me too.

It's the first time
I've been able to discern

joy from anxiety in,
like, five years.

[DOOR OPENS]

That's a good thing, right?

You're gonna call me
that Vuber or not?

BEN: I did call.
It should be there in, like,
five minutes or something.

Yeah, you said that


I don't understand
the point of an estimate

if it has no basis
in reality.

Did you move from your spot?No, I'm standing here...

Never mind.
I gotta go.

I've got Slim Jims
and Coca-Cola in the back,

four bucks a pop.

Charlie?

Tony?

Hey, what's up,
Loudermilk?

What the...

Hey, Loudermilk,
you're my 100th customer.

You're driving a Vuber?

I'm going straight, man.

Just trying to make
an honest living.

No more illegal sh*t for me.

You mean except the part
where you're an unlicensed
livery driver?

Don't worry about it.
I've got my foot on the gas
and my hand on the wheel.

What?

Why aren't you
in the driver's seat?

'Cause I lost my license
when I got my last DUI.

Charlie doesn't have
a license either!

Yeah, well,
I figured the cops would go

a hell of a lot easier
on him than on me.

Why are you even
driving a Vuber?
I thought you were a bookie.

I've been having some
short-term cash flow problems,

and with Vuber,
I can be my own boss.

You're not already
your own boss?

I'm a sl*ve to the NFL.
You know I work every Sunday?

All right, Charlie,
you can't let him
do this, okay?

He's using you.

Don't worry, snowflake,
I'm being well-compensated.

All right,
eyes on the road!

I told you, I'm driving.

All right, well,
you eyes on the road then.

God damn it.
It's like a bad
puppet show.

Pull over!

We still have two miles
to go to our destination.

I don't care.
I don't care.

Pull over.
I don't feel safe.

And who are you?
The Vuber police?

Pull over!

Unfortunately,
we're gonna have
to charge you

a cancellation fee.

Fine, fine.

You ableist piece of sh*t!

No, I don't want
to ride with you

because you told me
you're legally blind.

Legally blind is
not Stevie Wonder blind.

It just means sh*t
is very blurry.

And you've got a bottle
of bourbon in your lap.

I've just had a few nips.

I've got to take the edge off

because this greaseball keeps
yanking the wheel from me.

I wasn't yanking,
I was correcting.

Make sure you give me
five stars

because I need to get
my rating up.

Oh, I can't... Ben ordered
the Vuber from his phone.

Mine doesn't do apps.

Who the f*ck has a phone
that don't do apps?

Tell fatass
I want five stars!

I'm not sure this was a
five-star experience, Charlie.

Five f*cking stars,
assh*le!

Don't f*ck us,
Loudermilk.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Hey, Felix.

Good news, I was just
in a coffee shop

that had a bigger assh*le
than you.

Huh, let me guess,

he wouldn't cave
to your ridiculous demands.

Let me ask you
a question.

If someone
comes in here

with their own
yerba mate tea bags,

do you give them
hot water?

No.Why not?

Because we carry yerba mate.

I don't want people bringing
their own teabags in here.

f*ck that.

You carry yerba mate?

So you know it's
a natural mood
enhancer, right?

Look, anyway, do you remember
the girl that dumped coffee

on my head
a couple of weeks ago?

Lizzie Poole?Yes.

She needs a band,
and I think you guys
are perfect for her.

Why would I
wanna do that?

I read your review
of her record.

You said she was terrible.

Oh, f*cking internet.

Does anything
go away anymore?

What do you care
about the review?

You saw her play right there.
She's f*cking amazing.

Oh, so... So you're
admitting you were wrong.

Yeah, I was
horribly wrong.

I... I was f*cked up,
and I missed the boat
on that one.

Wow, man.

I'm... I am impressed
with your ability

to admit you were
once fallible.

It's not that soul crushing
if I'm admitting it to you.

Oh, f*ck you.

Listen, I'm trying
to do you a favor, okay?

The girl is world-class.

I'm giving you
the opportunity to hitch
your wagon to hers.

[SIGHS]

Okay, I'll do it...

Under one condition.

What?

Fire Claire from my band.What?

I... I need you to fire
Claire from my band.

Why don't
you fire Claire?

Not that easy.Really?

It's... It's just...

I don't wanna hurt
her feelings, you know?

Okay, so you're saying that
you'll back up Lizzie

if I fire Claire
from your band?

Look, I... I know
it's a lot to ask.

Claire,
you're out of the band.

[CLICK]

What'd you say?You're out of the band.

What band?The Beatles.

What?You're out of your band.

Felix gave me the job
to tell you.

What?
That assh*le!

Oh, come on.
Be realistic.

You're not even a musician.

You're just doing this
as a distraction.

If you were great at it,
it'd be sad,

but you're not, so it isn't.

Yes, it is.

Claire, admit it.

You have way bigger dreams
than that.

You're right, I do.

Like?

Well, f*ck if I know.
That's for you to figure out.

Did they really kick me
out of the band?

Yeah, but the good news is,
Lizzie Poole is replacing you.

What? Why her?

Yeah, that-that makes sense.

BEN: I'll tell you what,

that's the last time
I order you a car.

The driver f*cked
my passenger rating,

gave me zero stars.

Zero stars?Yeah.

Yeah, that's about right.

Who wants to kick it off?

I'll go.Okay, Ed.

What do you got?

I was on
a very nice date
last night.

Aww, that's sweet.

With a sex worker
I met online.

You mean a hooker.

No, no, they call
themselves sex workers now.

But these are women
who you pay for sex, right?

Okay, a hooker.

That's not a date.

No, it was because
she was off-duty.

They go off-duty?Mm-hmm.

Well, of course.

Sex workers
aren't sex workers


They're like doctors,
they get time off.

TONY: But I thought
sex workers,
like doctors,

are always on call?

No, she can work
whenever she wants,

and sometimes
she chooses not to,

like when she's with me.

You know, it sounds like
she really, really likes you.

You know, or she
doesn't want to have
sex with you.

Really, you have to sh*t
in his cornflakes?

Oh, I'm very sorry,
I thought we were
talking about

a guy who was on
a date with a hoo...
Uh, prost*tute.

Sex worker.Okay. Loudermilk?

No, um,
I'll sit this one out.

You guys figure it out.

Oh, sorry.

Um, I, too,
have something to share.

Thank God.

My daughter Cappy,
she likes me again.

Well, I... I'm sure
she's always liked you, Mugs.

Uh, now
she really likes me.

She invited me to a party
at her work tonight.

Hey!

That's very cool.

Wow, she's showing off
the old man.

Yeah.

She's showing off
her old man.

Well, you earned that, Mugs.

You put in the time,
you did the work,

and now you get
to see the results.

You've got a happy daughter.

And I got
the happy hooker.
[CHUCKLES]

So you want it
spiky on top?

Uh, I don't know.
Is that the style
right now?

No, but I can do it.

No, no, no.
Just give me
whatever's normal.

Mm-hmm.

So what's
the lovely lady's name?

How'd you know?

I've been doing this
a long time.

A guy like you comes in
to ask for short on the sides,

he's got a date.

Well, you nailed it.

Her name is Cappuccino,
and she's...

Oh, she's a stripper.
That's a stripper's name.

Oh, you're gonna do
some real damage tonight.

Good for you.

No, it's my daughter.

My daughter.
Daughter.

Step?

No!

Boy, this country has seen
some real changes recently,

but that one
just slipped by me.

[SIGHS] Congrats.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You, like, think this
is incest or something?

No!

I'm escorting my daughter
to her job function.

Oh, that's real sweet of you.
You sound like a good dad.

No, I'm the definition
of a bad dad.

[CHUCKLES]
No, I'm sure you aren't.

As long as you weren't
a drunk or abandoned them,
you're fine.

Just those two.

What kind of flowers
you bringing her?

Invisible.

Hey, this is your daughter.

I mean, a daughter's
first love is her father.

You've got to treat her
like a queen.

Pick up some flowers.
It'll change her whole night.

All right.

I... I... I appreciate
the advice.

You sound like you're not
so shabby a father yourself.

Yeah, I've only got
the one son and he hates me.

I'm sorry.

It's because of what happened
to his mother on the boat.

What... What happened?

Depends who you ask.

We were out on
Lake Pend Oreille...

Dad, no.

Yeah, yeah!

[LIGHT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Hey, hey!

Come on! I'm...
I'm one minute late.

Please!

Okay.
All right.

All right, thank you.

Any day now.
Any day.

Could you walk slower?

Okay, okay, thank you.
Thank you.

You walked all the way
over here to do that?

Come on!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, turn around
and look at my birds!

Ah, sh*t.

[SOFT MUSIC]

They're the stupidest
thing ever, right?

I never understood why anyone
would want a listening party

in the first place, right?

'Cause if your
album's great...

If it's original,
fresh, new,

it's not going
to sound good
the first time.

I won't allow it
unless it's just the people

who worked on the record,
who already know it.

Remember the first time
you listened to Radiohead

or Dark Side of the Moon.

Arcade Fire.

Okay, first time
I heard Funeral,

it was like,
"What the f*ck is this?"

You know, and after the sixth,
seventh, eighth listen,

it's, "Oh, it's f*cking
genius."

Yeah, the great stuff,
your brain has to get used to

because it's not wired
for it yet,

or on the other hand
if it's average
or not original,

it might sound good at first.

Yeah, so that's
my litmus test now,

is, you know, if I like it
on the first listen

then it's probably
only so good.

♪ You can do anything
that you want

♪ You can do
anything that you want

Got this really weird
feeling right now.

I don't know what's
gonna happen with us,

but I feel like
I'm gonna know you
for the rest of my life.

♪ You can do ♪

I hope you're right.

I'm usually not.

Either way, I'll survive.

♪ ♪

[JAZZY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Hey, sweetie.Hi!

Hey.

Uh, flowers for madam?

Thank... Thank you.Yeah.

Uh, Monica, Angelo,
this is my dad Winston.

Mugsy, Mugsy.
Everybody calls me Mugsy.

And you must be Monica.

Huh? [CHUCKLES]

Just goofing.
Here, put 'er there.

Hello.How are you?

Yeah, good.
And hello, young lady.

Hello. Hi.[CHUCKLES]

Wait, lady.
Is that un-PC now?

Sorry. If so,
let's go like that.

Hmm!
Nice and official.

Hate to hug you,

and then have
you say all kinds

of weird things
about me online.

I wouldn't want to get
on that Snap-Face,
you know,

and go, "Oh, no,
I didn't mean any of that!"

It's nice to meet you,
Mr. Bennigan.

Mr. Bennigan was my father.

In fact, he was, uh,
prisoner Bennigan.

[CHUCKLES]
Playing.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Hey, I'm late to the party.

You guys were gib-gabbing
about something.

Oh, yes,
Monica just brought
a brand-new condo.

Yes, I did.

It's three blocks
from Pike Place,
and there's...

Hey, I used to teach
martial arts in a home
just like yours.

Oh.

It was a very serious form
of combat called, uh,

Tai-condo.

You know what?
Let's get you some water.

Oh, okay.We'll be back.

I guess we're thirsty.Okay, yeah.

Let's go, Dad.
Let's go.

Uh, save our place.

What the...f*ck was that?

[BOTH SIGH]

Hi, uh,
two club sodas, please.

Sure.Hey, they were nice.

Dad, I was wondering
if we could maybe
tone it down a bit?

What do you mean?

You know,
like the jokes and stuff.

It's just... It's not really
that kind of office.

Really?
Okay, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

So you don't want me
to pull out
the rubber chicken?

Uh, no.I'll do it.

No!Okay, okay.

I get it. This is not
like a fun company.

No, it is, but I'm
still kind of new,

and I really want to make
a good impression.

Okay, okay.

I hear you, babe.

Okay.
[CHUCKLES]

So if I heard you right,

the account holder is liable

for any variables
that may occur?

Yes, and they act
as if we should be
reimbursing them.

Well, that sounds prudent.

Well, I don't know
about prudent,

but it is bonkers,
that's for sure.

So what do you do, Mugsy?

Winston.

Well, I'm
a certified technician.

What kind of technician?
Dental?

Pest control industry.

So you're an exterminator.

In layman's terms.

Uh, when I was younger,
he used to be a builder.

Oh.I was a contractor.

Worked for a contractor
until my knees gave out.

Not that
I'm complaining.

I'm just happy
he's working again.

That's sweet.
Dad's second act.

You were there for her
and now you're there for him.

So how are you liking it
here, Cappy?

It's really great.
Actually,
everyone's so nice,

and I've learned
a lot being here.

WOMAN: Amazing.
That's good to hear.Yeah.

What'd you do
for work before?

I actually just graduated
not that long ago.Excuse me.

[SOFT MUSIC]

Another soda water.Yeah, please.

[WATER HISSES]

You know what?
Make it a vodka.

Any particular vodka?Yeah, the nearest one.

Straight up.

And make it a double.

♪ ♪

[PHONE BEEPS]

[LINE TRILLING]

[PANTING, MOANING]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

LIZZIE: I think that's you.

LOUDERMILK: Uh, um,
don't worry about it.

[LINE TRILLING]

[INHALES DEEPLY]

f*ck it.

[PANTS]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Another vodka double
on the double.

♪ ♪

[SLURPS]

[SOMBER MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Mmm.

♪ ♪

Me first, me first.

Um, I'm gonna have another,
uh, double vodka.

And I know it's quick,
but I spilled the last one

down my throat.

[SOFT ROCK MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[MUGSY GROANS]

Hey, man.
You all right?

Oh, Cappuccino.

Cappuccino!

Uh, you doing okay, man?[COUGHS]

I... I don't think
they have that.

How about a coffee?

Cappy!

Okay.

Cappy!

Cappy, your dad
is really drunk
in the bathroom.

Excuse me, everyone.

[MUGSY GROANING]

[COUGHING]Dad, are you okay?

Cappy.

Cappy!Okay.

I wanted to do good for you.

It's okay, Dad.

Come on.
Let's go, let's go.

Are you mad at me?

No, I'm not
mad at all,

but, uh,
we've got to go out
the back way, okay?

[MUGSY SOBS]Let's go.

Are you mad at me?No, I'm not mad.

I'm not mad.

I'm not mad at all,
but we have to go,
okay?

Let's go.

What the f*ck?Let's go.

[GENTLE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[GROANS]

[PHONE BEEPS]

[LINE TRILLING]

[TEXT CHIME]

[SOBS]

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

♪ Now boy

♪ Please stop crying

♪ Now boy

♪ Please stop crying

♪ And when the day

♪ Runs 'round in circles

♪ And you feel
you can't go on

♪ Just stop,
I'll sing you a song

♪ But please,
please don't cry

♪ Tonight ♪