DAGWOOD: Uh-uh, uh-uh. Don't touch that dial.
Blondie.
[♪♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
-[♪♪♪] -[BIRDS CHIRPING]
Cookie, honey, hurry up. Open the door.
Dagwood, one minute to bus time!
DAGWOOD: Coming, Blondie!
[♪♪♪]
-Goodbye! -Goodbye!
[LOUD BANG]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
-Here we are. -Wonderful.
We were just picking Harriet up next door when I said,
"You know, Blondie makes the most marvelous coffee."
Didn't I say that, Harriet? Didn't I?
You just said it would be cheaper
-than paying for it. -[CHUCKLES]
Hi.
Oh, well, how you're growing, Cookie.
Gee, Mrs. Dithers. Is that it?
I thought everybody else was shrinking.
[LAUGHS] Adorable child. [SIGHS]
Well, what's this? Something new?
Daddy wrote that on there last night.
How did he know I'd be here?
He said you'd be by in the morning
for some free coffee.
Daddy's pretty funny, isn't he?
Hmm. He's hysterical.
We're going to play upstairs.
Are you taking a bath today, Mrs. Bumstead?
-No. I've already had mine. -Good.
You got a nice clean mother there.
I'll have to get some new drapes for Harry's new office.
It has three windows too.
My! Three windows. Congratulations, Georgia.
Thanks, Cora. I'm very proud of him.
Wait a minute. What's all this about windows?
I don't know what you're talking about.
COOKIE: Mother, where's the bubble bath?
It's on the shelf, over the top.
Haven't you heard about windows, Blondie?
It's just that when a man moves up in his company
and gets a better job, he naturally gets
a bigger office with more windows.
Oh, and Harry has three now?
Julius has five.
Herbert has 30 or 40 windows in his office.
Of course, Herbert sells windows.
[CHUCKLES]
COOKIE: Mother! Where's the electric fan?
It's on the bottom shelf of the linen closet.
How many windows does Dagwood have?
Honestly, I don't care how many windows he has.
-I just think... -[DOGS BARKING]
Bubble bath? Electric fan?
Oh, no!
[♪♪♪]
[DOGS BARKING]
Oh!
Oh!
[♪♪♪]
Oh, d... don't tell me what happened.
I'd rather not know.
Blondie!
-I'm home for lunch! -In here, dear!
[DOOR SLAMS]
[LAUGHS] The kitchen.
What a lovely place for a wife to be.
Come on. Step aside,
let the expert make the sandwiches.
Hmm.
That's pretty skimpy for a Bumstead special.
[HUMS]
-Uh, Dagwood? -Huh?
How many windows do you have in your office?
-Yeah, one. -But it's a big one, isn't it?
Uh... well, not for an office.
It would be considered a picture window in a dungeon.
Why?
Oh, the girls were talking about how many windows
their husbands had and I kind of hated to say
you were only a one window man.
Well, you just tell them the next time that Einstein
was a one window man, and Bernhard Borchert
is a no window man. His office is a park bench.
Dagwood, I can't help it.
It just makes me mad about the windows.
-Oh, now, Blondie. -You do all of Mr. Dithers'
thinking for him and you deserve
a whole greenhouse full of windows.
You ought to be vice president
of the Dithers Construction Company.
Well, he promised me that once, but you know Mr. Dithers is.
-Pop? -Huh?
There's a new girl down the block.
Yeah. There usually is.
Well, she's pretty good-looking.
Well, I kind of like to make out with her.
-How much is that in money? -About two and a half.
You know, a movie, hot fudge sundae.
-The red-carpet treatment. -Alexander,
the entertainment budget is empty.
We could become casual acquaintances for about a buck.
-Huh? -I just thought I'd ask.
I made him wash his hands and face for lunch.
Let me see your hands.
Other side.
I only eat with the front part.
I may have to use a vegetable brush on you.
[MUMBLES]
DAGWOOD: There you are, Cookie.
Here, Jimmy.
-[DOG BARKS] -Here. Here. How's that?
-[DOG BARKS] -[DAGWOOD CHUCKLES]
There. [CHUCKLES]
-Dagwood, I wanna talk to you. -Fine, dear. What is it?
Mr. Dithers just isn't being
-fair to you. -Mm-hmm.
And I want you to go to him and ask him
to make you a vice president and give you a bigger office.
Oh, Blondie, I can't do that. It's dangerous.
Don't forget, Mr. Dithers has a weak heart.
Every time I ask him for a raise,
he nearly collapses.
But you will never have any confidence
-unless you assert yourself. -That's a problem, isn't it?
Well, what are we gonna do?
[SIGHS] All right, Blondie. I'll ask him.
That's the man I married.
Yeah, yeah. Sometime next month.
[♪♪♪]
[DOG BARKING]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
What if something like that happened to us?
Your father would feel pretty confident, wouldn't he?
Well, sure.
But according to the law of averages,
we haven't got a chance.
I'm thinking of repealing the law.
Then maybe we'll have a vice president in our family
with lots of windows.
Go a little slower, Mom. I can't keep up with you.
Well, suppose he gets a telegram saying a wealthy uncle,
I'll make up some name, has d*ed and left everything...
[♪♪♪]
Hi, Floyd.
[♪♪♪]
Yeah, but five and a half percent is highway robbery.
All right. I'll see you here tomorrow morning.
But remember this.
I'm a good customer of your bank.
Who else needs to borrow money as often as I do?
Goodbye.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh... did you have a nice lunch, Mr. Dithers?
Oh, shut up.
Well, I see you're feeling better, huh?
-I'm feeling miserable. -Oh.
Old Cutthroat Kennedy is holding me up
on that 25,000-dollar loan because he knows I can't get it
-any place else. -Yeah.
Here's a copy of our figures on that new factory
-for Howard Zinc. -Mm-hmm.
That idiot secretary of mine has been working on it
for a half hour, hasn't got the answer yet.
-Mm-hmm. -See what you come up with.
Yeah. Right now, a little quiet please.
All right. All right. Go on.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Hundred and thirty-four thousand three hundred
and seventy-four dollars and 76 cents.
Here it is, Mr. Dithers, 134,394 dollars and 76 cents.
You're too late. The boat just sailed.
Dagwood, I don't know how you do it.
Oh, I don't know either. I just do it. [CHUCKLES]
What do you say, Mr. Dithers?
-Well, thank you, Bumstead. -Mm-hmm.
Oh, stop taunting me.
But what am I going to do about you?
Oh, well, now that you ask, about a year ago,
you promised to make me a vice president.
-Bumstead. -Huh?
You know better than to believe anything I say.
Well, then I thought maybe perhaps that... that you would--
[CHUCKLES] Well if you wouldn't mind letting me use
that big office next door with all the windows, huh?
-Certainly not. -No?
At the moment, you're still a one window man around here.
-Oh. -But ask me again
in ten or 12 years.
Did you check these plans?
Oh, uh, yes, I did, Mr. Dithers and there's an error.
-Where? -Oh, right here.
Oh! Oh!
Bumstead!
I asked him about it and he just laughed at me
and then I ran out of confidence.
I understand, dear, but you just got
-to insist that-- -[DOORBELL DINGS]
Oh, there's the Woodley's.
Oh, someday I'm gonna fix that, so it'll go ding-dong
instead of dong-ding.
Come on, boys. Everybody off now.
Run off. Go to bed. Come on.
-[DOGS BARK] -Everybody to bed.
Hmm.
-Oh, hi, Woodley. -Blondie!
Harriet! I'm so glad you came over!
Oh, break it up, you two.
You just saw each other before dinner.
And you bought a new dress.
Lovely, isn't it? I've always-- A new dress?
I've had it on four hours and he just now noticed it.
Harriet, it goes back to the store in the morning.
Then so do those four boxes of cigar you bought.
Oh, you found out
-where I hid them, eh? -[HARRIET LAUGHING]
And I thought I put them in the one place
-she'd never look. -Mm-hmm.
In the drawer under my socks
-to be darned. -Oh.
Okay. You keep the dress. Let's play Canasta.
Here.
-Dagwood? -Huh?
I got a hot tip on the market for tomorrow.
-Uh-huh. -Allied Engineering.
Wanna come in on it with me?
A one-window man has to stay away
from that kind of stuff.
Okay. But Allied is announcing a stock split.
Georgia Phillips bought a beautiful dress.
-Come on, Harriet. Draw a card. -What's the dress like?
Oh, it's a dream. It's navy blue.
Sort of a chic type.
I wonder if it's still there. It sounds perfect for me.
And I love navy.
I've had my old navy for just ages,
but it always looks so nice I can't bear to throw it away.
-[HARRIET] So... -Let's play gin.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES]
Well, frankly, Harriet, I think Felice's nails and hair
looked better before she changed it.
But do you know what she told me
-she shampoos it with? -Gin.
Gin? No kidding?
-[DOORBELL DINGS] -Oh, I'll... I'll get it.
For heaven's sake, let's get on with the game!
Yes, Herbert. We're waiting for you to play.
What's the score?
That's what I keep telling my friends,
my wife doesn't know what the score is.
Just once I'd like to play a game of Canasta
and finish the first hand!
Oh, it's a telegram.
Blondie, it's from some lawyers.
They've been trying to locate me.
You can plead insanity, chum. I'll back you up.
My Uncle Josh d*ed in Costa Rica.
He had a coffee plantation, and he left me all his money.
What do you want with money?
You just won dollar 80 cents from me.
Yeah. It... it... says in excess
of a hundred thousand dollars after taxes.
[HESITATES] We're rich. We're rich.
A hundred thousand dollars. I'm a millionaire!
-We're rich! We're filthy rich! -Oh, Dagwood.
Isn't it wonderful?
Congratulations, Dagwood ol' boy.
-Uh-huh. [CHUCKLES] -But I'm certainly not gonna pay
a dollar-eighty to a man, with over
a hundred thousand dollars. [LAUGHS]
Oh, poor ol' Uncle Josh. He was such a great guy.
He always liked me and I always liked him.
Oh? Do you remember him?
Oh, how could I forget him?
Especially now.
Oh, Dagwood. Now you've got the money,
you ought to have all the confidence in the world.
-Mm-hmm. -Now you can go to Mr. Dithers
and demand a bigger office and the vice presidency.
-That's right, Blondie. -Good.
You can see him first thing in the morning.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah. [LAUGHS]
Uh... what's so funny?
Who wants to be vice president of the Dithers Company now?
Not me. Hmm, I'm rich.
I'm gonna retire.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Isn't Daddy going to work today?
-Is he sick? -Yes.
He's suffering from a temporary case
of extreme wealth.
He remembered Uncle Josh, huh?
They were bosom buddies. Come on, Dagwood. Get up.
Give me a hand, children.
-[GROANS] -[DOGS BARKING]
Get off!
Help! Help me!
Dagwood, you gotta go to the office.
Mr. Dithers just called.
All right! All right! All right! All right.
Now, look, I'm giving you all a fair warning.
If this ever happens again,
I'll disinherit the whole bunch of you.
[GRUNTS] And that goes for you too.
Wait a minute. Get out.
[♪♪♪]
Oh. I thought I had two heads for a minute. [LAUGHS]
What are you doing here, Woodley?
Sorry to disturb you, Dagwood, but you're a rich man now,
you gotta do business -at all hours.
-[LAUGHS] -You wanna come in with me
on that Allied Engineering stock?
Yeah. Well, I... I--
Let's stop fumbling around, boy.
I've got credit with my broker up to 5,000 dollars.
-Uh-huh. -But I don't wanna take
a wild s*ab with all of it. You wanna come in for half?
But... well, let... let... let me think about it
-for a minute. -Your minute's up.
-Huh? -What's your decision?
You're a big man now. Quick thinking, quick profits.
I... I was thinking maybe--
-Okay. It's a deal. -Huh?
-Oh. [CHUCKLES] -[CHUCKLES]
Ordinarily, I'd get sore about this,
but you've got a lot of money now.
-Oh. -[LAUGHS]
-Well... -Yeah.
Yeah. Well, so long, Woodley. Yeah.
I just wanna show them what a millionaire
looks like shaving.
Shave a little, Daddy.
Oh. All right. [CHUCKLES]
-Well? There you are. -How many millions has he got?
-Just one. -That's not very many millions.
[GROANS]
Well, if that's not enough for you,
you go and look at some other millionaire.
Now go on. Shoo. Everybody out. Out. Come on, scram.
-[DAGWOOD SIGHS] -[DOOR CLOSES]
[KID CHUCKLING]
You too.
Get out.
You were much nicer when you weren't so rich.
Why can't a wealthy man have some privacy?
[DOGS BARKING]
Blondie!
Really, Dagwood, you got too much talent
-and ability to retire. -Yeah.
Now you're rich, you can force Mr. Dithers to give you
the vice presidency and a bigger office.
And you can really make something
of the Dithers Construction Company.
Yeah. And then I'll make it into the Dithers & Bumstead
Construction Company. And then, the Bumstead & Dithers
Construction Company. [LAUGHS]
And then, the Dagwood Bumstead Construction Company.
Then I'll give Mr. Dithers a job sweeping out the place.
That's the spirit! Sic 'em, tiger!
Yeah.
Oh, Alexander, about that little girl
you wanted to impress, here's ten dollars. [CHUCKLES]
Spend it as fast as you can.
-Dagwood, we're not that rich! -Oh, sure we are.
Oh, and, Blondie, if... if you can't think
just uh, go out and buy yourself a mink coat.
Toodle-oo.
-Hello, Mr. Bumstead. -Oh, hi, Elouise.
I'm sorry, Mr. Dithers, but twenty-five thousand
at five and a half percent is the best I can do.
But doesn't my reputation in the community mean anything?
Yes, but we decided to go ahead with a loan anyway.
Well, good morning, Mr. Dithers.
-Bumstead, I'm in conference. -Oh, yes!
You're Mr. Kennedy from the bank.
I'm Dagwood Bumstead.
I'm very glad to know you, Mr. Kennedy.
-Bumstead! -Yeah-- Oh, now, don't bother
to stand up, Mr. Dithers. [LAUGHS]
Oh, you know, I was planning on dropping in to see you.
I have some money I wanna invest.
Fine. Anytime, Mr. Bumstead.
You know, I can't believe that you're the man
they call Old Cutthroat Kennedy.
Now where did you hear that?
[CHUCKLES] Well, you know how people talk.
I guess people have the habit of misunderstanding bankers.
Yeah. You should hear
what they call Mr. Dithers. [CHUCKLES]
A tightfisted old turkey.
-Who called me that? -No.
I refuse to testify on the grounds
that it might degrade you and incriminate me.
Now, we're going to need some extensive financing from you,
Mr. Kennedy. And, of course, the Dithers Company
likes the way you handle things. But if you're not interested...
Well, naturally, I am interested.
-Bumstead! -Yeah.
Stop playing yoyo with me!
Have you snapped your twig? What do you want?
I came in to get that vice presidency
you promised me or I'm quitting.
Well, well, every cloud does have a silver lining
-after all. -Uh-huh.
You go back to your old job of fishing for coins
through sidewalk gratings.
Oh, just as a hobby. Oh, by the way. [LAUGHS]
I, uh, I just came in to a little, uh, inheritance.
[LAUGHS]
In excess of a hundred thousand dollars?
[CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
As a matter of fact, Mr. Kennedy,
I was thinking of handling this little loan myself
at five percent.
-Oh, now, Mr. Bumstead. -Mm-hmm.
You're not going to cut in on my business, are you?
-Well... -Uh... besides, I can get you
some better investments.
Uh... I'll drop that... that interest of five percent.
No. No.
We'd rather keep this a family affair.
Well, I was only worried that this was a one-man office.
Uh... I didn't know that you had a man
-like Bumstead with you. -[CHUCKLES]
I've been saving him as a secret w*apon.
Dagwood, I've always loved you like you were my own son.
And now, son, it makes me very happy
to congratulate you on becoming the new vice president
of the J.C. Dithers Construction Company.
Oh, thanks, Father.
Now, how would you like to have the big office next door?
Oh. I'd rather have this office, Mr. Dithers.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
[DAGWOOD HUMMING]
How did it go?
Oh, fine. Fine. [CHUCKLES]
All right, boys. Everybody off. Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on. Everybody off now.
Well, what about the vice presidency?
Well, he offered it to me, but it seems silly a man
with my talent and ability to throw it away
at the Dithers Company, so I quit. [CHUCKLES]
You... you quit?
I got a hundred thousand dollars' worth of confidence.
I just wished you had a hundred thousand dollars'
worth of money.
[CHUCKLES] I have. I have.
-Oh, Dagwood. -Mm-hmm?
Oh. What's the matter? Oh, don't you worry about it.
Whatever it is... [CHUCKLES] ...we're rich.
-Dagwood. -Huh?
That... that telegram was a fake.
[GASPS] Oh. A fake?
Uh... you mean Uncle Josh is still alive?
Dagwood, there never was any Uncle Josh.
-Yeah, but-- -I made the whole thing up
to give you confidence,
so you'd go in and demand the vice presidency
and an office with more than one window.
-It was sort of a joke. -A joke?
But... but I... I... I thought I was rich.
-[CHUCKLES] -[DOORBELL DINGS]
It is kind of funny. [LAUGHS]
Hello, Dagwood, Blondie.
Poor Kennedy and his bank. [LAUGHS]
-Did Dagwood tell you about it? -Yes.
Isn't it the funniest thing you've ever heard?
Laugh? I thought I'd cry.
You really saved my life, Bumstead.
-Huh? -I never thought you'd offer me
But w... w... what did you do about Mr. Kennedy?
I told him exactly what I thought of him.
But I finally took the loan at, uh,
four and a half percent.
-Oh. -[SIGHS]
Oh.
Oh, well, uh, let me know when you need my 25,000.
Huh? [WHIMPERS]
-Oh. Oh, uh, Mr. Dithers? -Yes?
You know, you've always been like a father to me.
And, uh, well, I feel pretty bad
about quitting. And I--
Oh, well, why don't you stay on, son?
-I-- Yeah? -I'll miss you.
-Oh. -And I need you.
Well, uh... [CLEARS THROAT] I don't know. Now, you know--
[WHIMPERS] I... I'll do it!
Good. It'll be nice to have a wealthy vice president
in the next office.
Oh, but you're not making Dagwood a vice president
just because of the money, are you?
MR. DITHERS: Oh, certainly not.
-Because of his ability... -Uh-huh.
-...his imagination... -Oh. [CHUCKLES]
...his intelligence.
-[CHUCKLES] -Of course, it's nice
-that he's got the money too. -[DOORBELL DINGS]
Anybody home? Hi.
-Well, Dagwood? -Huh?
Allied Engineering took a nice little jump
and we both made a bundle. [LAUGHS]
Oh. [Laughs] Holy smokes, money!
-What's more? Real money! -Mm-hmm. That's the way it is.
Them that has gets and the rich get richer.
[ALL LAUGH]
Uh, Mr. Dithers, I think there's something
-I ought to tell you. -Oh, Blondie, please don't.
No, Dagwood. We've got to be honest.
Uh... Mr. Dithers, I have a little confession.
Dagwood never had any Uncle Josh.
I'm the one who had that telegram sent to him.
-What? Bumstead! -Huh?
You mean you didn't have any money at all?
And I... I was practically insulting Mr. Kennedy.
Yeah, but you got the loan for four and a half percent
instead of five and a half percent.
You almost ruined me!
Do you mean to tell me you took a flyer on the market
with just my credit?
Yeah. But if I lost, I would have paid.
-Bumstead! -Huh?
I'm busting you from first vice president
back to first class nincompoop.
Don't take that, Pop!
Mr. Dithers, I quit!
Good for you, Dagwood. Outside, Mr. Dithers.
[DOG BARKS]
Get away... get away from me. You keep-- Wait a minute.
I don't want to...
Come back here, Daisy.
You might get poisoned if you bit him.
-Goodbye, Mr. Dithers. -Oh, wait a minute, Blondie.
I have to tell the truth too, even though it hurts me.
For some ridiculous reason, Mr. Kennedy
was quite impressed with you, Dagwood.
-[CHUCKLES] Yeah? -And after you quit,
he said he would give me the loan only on condition,
that you come back with the Dithers Company.
[LAUGHS] Oh, so that's the way it is?
He was impressed with ol' ball of fire Bumstead?
-[LAUGHS] -Sickening, isn't it?
Well, in that case, I'm not so sure...
[WHIMPERS] I'll do it.
Good. I need you like I need a hole in my head,
but I guess I need a hole in my head.
[ALL LAUGH]
-Fine. Dagwood? -Hmm?
Since I sent the telegram, I think I'm entitled
to a small commission. I get a new dress.
And I see no reason why I should pay
-the booker's commission. -Mm-hmm.
Ta-ta. [LAUGHS]
-Pop? -Huh?
I gave that ten bucks back to Mom.
So, I'll just settle for two dollars.
-Is there anything left for me? -Well, I... wait a minute.
For the new nameplate on your new office. All right.
Oh, well, it certainly was wonderful being rich,
even though we were poor.
And we got a nice return on the money we didn't have.
[LAUGHS] Yeah. All except, uh, yours truly, Dagwood Bumstead.
Vice president.
Oh, this is going to be a wonderful office,
-Dagwood. -[LAUGHS] Yeah.
-Two big windows. -Uh-huh.
And it's right next to Mr. Dithers' office.
Yeah. That's the only disadvantage.
But I can always sneak out down the fire escape.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh, hello, Blondie.
Just putting Dagwood's nameplate on the door.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Mr. Dithers, why the tape? That isn't very permanent.
I know.
Oh, Mr. Dithers, aren't you forgetting
that if I'm not here, the deal with the bank is off?
I know that. But you're forgetting something,
-Bumstead. -DAGWOOD: What?
It's only a 60-day loan. Keep smiling.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]