DAGWOOD: Uh-uh, uh-uh.
Don't touch that dial.
Blondie!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
You... [GROANS]
-Excuse me, dear.
-Yeah.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.
-Laundryman.
Alexander.
-School dance.
-Yeah.
Hey, hey, Alexander.
Ice cream man.
-[BARKING]
-You're too late.
Ask yourself, Mr. Dithers.
Where would your company be
if it wasn't for me?
On the rocks. That's where.
Oh, I feel like a tiger tonight.
[IMITATES TIGER]
Are you going to give me
that raise or not?
Well, I'm waiting
for your answer, J.C.
Hmm, oh, stop squirming.
I hate to see a man squirm.
-Dagwood.
-Eh, oh.
Aren't you being a little hard
on poor Mr. Dithers.
Oh, well, I...
I just was making--
Go ahead, dear.
That chair hasn't
a good balling out in years.
Daddy, why is it that...
Your father is practicing
to ask Mr. Dithers
-for a raise, Cookie.
-Mm-hmm.
-Oh.
-Mm-hmm.
Time for bed now, honey.
-Goodnight, Daddy.
-Yeah. Goodnight, Cookie.
Good night, Mr. Dithers.
[GROANS]
Oh, oh, why is it I can never,
speak to Mr. Dithers the way
I can to that chair?
Maybe it's because
the chair is afraid of you
and Mr. Dithers isn't.
Oh, he'll never give me
that raise tomorrow, I know it.
Now Dagwood, faint heart
never won fair Dithers.
No, honey, you got
to have confidence in yourself.
-Yeah.
-[DOOR SLAMS]
Oh, Alexander, aren't you
gonna say goodnight to us?
Sure.
-I thought you were in bed.
-Hmm.
Hey, what did you do?
Cut your lip?
No, this is Mary Lou's lipstick.
Who's Mary Lou?
You know,
that cute little blockbuster
-that lives on the corner.
-Hmm.
You know how it is, Pop.
Well, I don't know how it is.
Tell me.
Well, I used
the old Bumstead get-up-and-go.
When we got to her house,
why she wanted to shake hands?
But I told her,
I spent four bucks on the dance
and I wanted
to get kissed good night.
She had no choice.
She had to kiss me.
Well, goodnight.
[HESITATES] Take a cold shower,
Alexander.
[GROWLS]
I guess that means
he's outgrown his bicycle.
If Alexander can do it,
why can't you?
Oh, I don't wanna
kiss Mary Lou... Oh, no.
Tomorrow morning,
you're gonna give Mr. Dithers
a sample of the old Bumstead
get-up-and-go.
Yeah, and he, um,
might give me the old Dithers
get-out-and-stay-out.
Now, this is
what you're gonna do.
-Mm-hmm.
-Come on over here and sit down.
-Uh--
-Now...
-What?
-You're... you're Dithers.
-Mm-hmm.
-And I'm Dagwood Bumstead,
your most valuable employee.
Well, and now, Mr. Dithers.
I don't wanna waste your time
or mine.
I just have this to say.
Now, either I get a raise
immediately
or I'm walking out
that door for good.
Yeah,
and he'd just let me walk out.
[SIGHS] He wouldn't dare.
Now, let me see you try it.
Oh, Blondie.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[IMITATING MR. DITHERS]
Well, Bumstead,
what did you wanna see me about?
Huh? Oh.
Oh, it's no use, Blondie.
-Speak up, Bumstead.
-[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, Mr. Dithers,
I would like a raise.
A raise?
Oh, Dagwood, where's that
old Bumstead get-up-and-go?
Gee, Blondie, you sounded
just like Mr. Dithers then.
Now try it again,
and this time, don't panic.
-All right.
-[BOTH CLEAR THROATS]
Mr. Dithers,
if you don't give me a raise,
I'm going to walk
right out that door
and you'll never see me again.
[IMITATING MR. DITHERS]
You can't bluff me, Bumstead.
Go ahead, walk out.
Okay.
Daisy.
[CHUCKLES]
This is Cookie's doing.
Now, doesn't she know
they'll ruin your eyes?
[FOOTSTEPS]
-[DOOR SLAMS]
-Dagwood!
See? I told you
he'd let me quit.
No, he won't, dear.
Now, now, start out again.
Oh, well, all right.
[IMITATING MR. DITHERS]
Stop, Bumstead!
I'll give you the raise
but don't walk out on me.
I need you, Bumstead.
I need you.
You do? [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Gee, thanks, Mr. Dithers.
[CHUCKLES]
What? Surely,
you must be kidding, Bumstead.
You mean, I haven't got a chance
of getting a raise, Mr. Dithers?
Oh, yes,
you'll have a chance, Bumstead.
-Uh-huh.
-A fat chance, you know.
BLONDIE: Dagwood, where's that
old Bumstead get-up-and-go?
ALEXANDER: She had no way out.
She had to kiss me.
BLONDIE: If Alexander can do it,
why can't you?
Why can't I?
Now see here, Mr. Dithers.
Are you still here, Bumstead?
Yes, I'm still here
but not for long.
-Huh?
-If you don't give me a raise,
I'm going right out that door
and you'll never see me again.
-Well, good luck, Bumstead.
-Huh?
BLONDIE: Don't panic, Dagwood.
Don't panic.
This is goodbye then.
[DOOR SLAMS]
[GROANING]
It's the wrong door. [CHUCKLES]
MR. DITHERS: Oh,
wait a minute, Bumstead.
[STUTTERS] Yes, Mr. Dithers?
You forgot to turn in
your key to the washroom.
Eh? [GROANS]
Why didn't he give me a chance
to change my mind
about quitting?
No, he just shoved me out
the door and says, "Good luck."
Mr. Dithers
certainly is bullheaded.
Hmm, yeah.
[DOGS WHIMPERING]
Oh, Daisy,
does Elmer have to go out?
[DOG BARKS]
Well, as you can see,
I'm very, very busy.
So, would you take him out,
please?
Maybe if I call Mr. Dithers
and told him I was only kidding.
No! Now, I got you into this
and I'm gonna get you out.
-[SIGHS] Blondie--
-Tomorrow morning,
I'm gonna pay
Mr. Dithers a call.
Blondie, I refuse to hide
behind my wife's apron strings.
I'm gonna tell him that after
pleading with you all night,
-I was finally able...
-Uh-huh.
...to convince you
to go back to work for him.
[GROANS]
I'm gonna be very calm
but firm...
and I'm gonna walk
right into his office...
and I'm gonna say,
Mr. Dithers...
I have some very good news.
Well, Blondie, I knew Bumstead
would send you here
to try to get his job back
for him.
You're mistaken, Mr. Dithers.
Dagwood doesn't want
his job back.
-He doesn't?
-No.
Sit down, Blondie.
[SIGHS] He's happy that his
association with you is over.
Well, the feeling is mutual.
Dagwood feels
that he was in a rut here.
I agree with him.
-You do?
-MR. DITHERS: Well, definitely.
The change will do us both
a world of good,
particularly me.
Give my best to him.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a lot of work to do.
All right, Mr. Dithers.
You will regret this day
for the rest of your life!
Dagwood's too good for you!
And when it comes
to adding figures,
there's no better man!
-Stop shouting, Blondie.
-I'll shout if I want to!
I wouldn't let my husband
work for you,
if you beg me on bended knees!
-[DOOR OPENS]
-Wait just a moment, Blondie.
It's too late, Mr. Dithers.
Dagwood's not coming back.
-I don't want him back.
-Oh?
I want you, Blondie,
will you take Bumstead's job?
Me? Work for you?
I could use your spunk
and get-up-and-go in my office.
-Me?
-Yes.
I like the way you stand
on your own two feet.
Well, you could give
the company a sh*t in the arm.
-Are we still talking about me?
-Yes, you.
You've been hiding
your talent in the kitchen.
Come out into the sun, Blondie.
The Dithers Construction Company
welcomes you aboard.
I don't know why
Blondie isn't home,
it didn't take Mr. Dithers
this long to throw me out.
-[SIGHS]
-[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Hello? Oh, Blondie?
Oh, uh, d... did you speak
to Mr. Dithers?
Yes, we had quite a talk, dear.
Is he going to give me
my job back?
Well, uh...
let's put it this way,
your job stays in the family.
Yeah... huh?
What does that mean?
I'll explain everything
when I get home.
Blondie, is there something
I should know?
I'll be home at 5:30.
Now, don't worry
about a thing, dear.
Very nice, thank you.
Hey, Blondie. Who's he?
-I have put up new curtains.
-New curtains?
The old one's clashed
-with the lamps I ordered.
-Lamps?
It should go
with this new wallpaper.
It will make the office look
much smarter
and brighter, don't you agree?
Well, the office
was good enough for Bumstead,
it should be good enough
for you.
Mr. Dithers, don't you want me
working in happy surroundings?
Oh yeah, here.
What on earth are these?
These are the estimates
for our new
medical building job.
Oh.
Oh, I didn't know
you wore glasses.
I don't, but I thought
they'd make me look
much more business-like.
I found them
in the filing cabinet.
Hmm, well,
double check these figures.
I wanna make sure
there aren't any errors.
You want me to add up all these?
-Yeah, that's right.
-[SIGHS] Uh-oh.
Two-hundred and fifty-six,
plus 7,325
minus 1,210 divided by 18.
-Um, no, that's not right.
-You want an eraser?
[SIGHS]
Please. I'm concentrating.
Six and three are divided by...
seven-hundred and ten.
[CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
Seven goes into fifteen,
uh... twice.
Oh, I can't stand it.
I need some air.
I'll be back later.
-All right, Mr. Dithers.
-[DOOR CLOSES]
[♪♪♪]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
-Hello, Blondie?
-Dagwood.
I... I'm
in Martin's Department Store
and there's a wonderful sale
on hooked rugs.
Blondie,
why don't you come home?
I know, but this is
such a bargain.
Fifteen thousand six hundred
and ninety-two rugs
for only, um, 710 dollars.
Uh, look, Blondie, we don't need
I know, dear.
I'm only buying one.
How much would that be?
Oh, well, um, 15,692
at 710 dollars equals...
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
[DINGS]
...that equals, uh...
Twenty-two dollars and ten
and one seventh cents apiece.
Thank you, dear.
Well, being a career girl
isn't such a hard job after all.
[♪♪♪]
Since Daddy is not going
to work anymore,
that makes him sort of
a freeloader, doesn't it?
Not exactly, he's got
to take care of the house
while M om goes to the office.
-It will never work.
-[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Change the subject,
here he comes.
Good morning, children.
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi, Pop.
What were you talking about?
Oh, we were just talking about
what a beautiful day it was.
-Yeah.
-Uh, yeah. Daddy?
-Huh?
-How do I get my allowance
-from now?
-Oh, from me of course.
That's nice.
I just wanted to know
how the change affected me.
-[KICKS]
-Ouch.
My! I didn't realize
it was so late.
Uh, Dagwood, I'm leaving
these little reminders around
to help you remember
all the things I told you.
Hmm.
I'm not gonna let you
go to work, Blondie.
Now, dear, we discussed this
fully last night
and we agreed
it's the only way to do it.
Yeah, but I... I...
Look, I've changed my mind.
Your place is in the home.
It's only a temporary
arrangement.
Now I'll quit Mr. Dithers
the minute you get a job.
-Yeah--
-Oh, dear,
-it's time for me to go.
-Huh?
-Goodbye children.
-What's this?
No, wait...
Yeah but... Hey, my briefcase!
-Certainly. Oh!
-[GROANS]
Remember,
when the cleaner comes,
my tweed coat
is on the back porch.
-Blondie, I won't let you go.
-[DOGS BARKING]
BLONDIE:
You don't have to line up,
Your master isn't
going to work this morning.
Bye, children. Bye, dear.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[DISHES CLATTER]
DAGWOOD: Stop staring
and go to school.
I can't look.
[GRUNTS]
[SIGHS]
You forgot a cup.
Oh. [LAUGHS]
[CLATTERING, SMASHING]
[BARKING]
That's right, Mr. Ellis.
Six lamb chops.
Oh, yes. And a bag
of potato chips too.
Thank you.
Now, see here, Blondie!
I spent the entire morning
rearranging your furniture
and watering
your confounded of plants.
Why Mr. Dithers, you're...
you're shouting at me.
You bet I am!
I'm trying
to run a business here,
and you're making a houseman
and a gardener out of me.
[CRIES] I'm not used
to being shouted at.
Oh, no, no, no, Blondie,
don't... don't cry.
It's not easy being a housewife
and a careerwoman too.
[SOBS]
Oh, please, Blondie,
stop crying.
I can't stand
to see a woman cry.
-I'm... I'm sorry.
-Well, that's better.
Did you water
the Abyssinian violets?
Abyssinian violets...
Give them a good drink.
Abyssinian violets.
Sometimes I wish
that Bumstead were--
[GRUNTS]
Mr. Dithers. [LAUGHS]
[GROANS]
[♪♪♪]
[DOOR SLAMS]
[PANTS]
I was gonna play golf
but this seems
like a lot more fun.
Yeah. [SIGHS]
[GROANS]
The decline and fall
of the American male.
Dagwood, do you realize
that you've set
husbands back 100 years?
Look, Herb,
I don't have time to talk.
I have work to do.
I've gotta do
my vacuuming.
Let me take you out of this,
Dagwood.
You're not just not
the housewife type.
[HUMMING]
There. Perfect.
I guess I put too much
starch in it.
Did you order chloroform?
Dagwood,
as a friend, I beg you,
get out of here
before you go stir-crazy.
[GRUNTING]
Wait. Temper, temper.
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]
Well, the specifications
call for cold drawn mesh
used for concrete reinforcement.
It's a good idea, Mr. Shaw.
Don't you agree, Blondie?
Oh, oh, ye.. yes, uh...
Hmm, I think it's cute
but what is it supposed to be?
It's an office building.
Oh, well, you certainly
couldn't prove it by this.
Young lady, I have been
an architect for over 13 years
and that is undoubtedly
the silliest statement
-I ever heard.
-[LAUGHS]
She was just joking,
weren't you, Blondie?
Too bad you couldn't have drawn
a better picture, Mr. Shaw.
What do you mean
a better picture?
Well, this doesn't show
the wallpaper
or the powder rooms.
There's a powder room
right there.
-I have two on each floor.
-Oh, that's nice.
Women have no place in business.
Oh, good heavens.
What? What's wrong?
Where? What?
The roast, it should be
in the oven, excuse me.
Mr. Dithers, I have just decided
I do not want your company
to work on my building.
Well, uh, let's not be hasty,
Mr. Shaw.
Dagwood, did you put
the roast in the oven? Good.
When Cookie
comes home from school,
give her a glass of milk
and some bread and jelly.
Now remember,
set the oven for 350 degrees
and set the timer
to go off at 6:30.
Yeah, yeah,
set the oven on 630 degrees
and turn it off at 3:50.
Okay, goodbye, honey.
Huh? [SIGHS]
"Keep the dogs
off the furniture."
[DOGS BARKING]
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
-[VACUUM WHIRRING]
-Come on, come on, get it, guys.
Come on, come on, come on.
[PANTS]
[DOG WHIMPERS]
"Feed the dogs. Love, Blondie."
Look, I've already fed you.
You're not getting
another meal out of me.
-[DOG WHIMPERS]
-Come on, Daisy, scram.
-Stop pestering me, Daisy.
-[DAISY BARKS]
-Scram, scram, scram.
-Dagwood...
-Dagwood Bumstead.
-Yes, Mr. Dithers-- Oh!
[VACUUM STOPS WHIRRING]
Mrs. Dithers, Harriet.
Oh, Blondie isn't home.
Oh, we know,
but the bake sale committee
is supposed to meet here today.
And Blondie said you would take
her place on the committee.
Oh, no,
I've got a lot of work to do.
-I have to do the bed--
-You're on the committee.
[STUTTERS] Huh? Oh.
I don't see how--
The meeting will now come
to order.
Listen, as man of this house,
I forbid it.
Blondie is now
a man of this house.
Go ahead, Harriet.
I present the resolution
that each of the girls
contribute one pie
or two cakes or three...
a dozen cookies.
-All in favor, say aye.
-Aye.
-Aye.
-Nay.
It will certainly look bad
for Blondie
if we hand in a report
that her proxy voted nay.
Listen,
I am not Blondie's proxy.
I'm her wife...
[GRUNTS] ...I'm her husband.
And I don't care
what kind of report you hand in.
Aye.
What will you contribute?
Pie, cake, or coo--
I won't contribute anything.
-Don't be hostile.
-Dagwood, you're fighting us.
Cake.
You're just taking
an advantage of me
because I'm the only...
Well, I happened to be the only
male housewife in the world.
You should be proud.
You're replacing a woman
for active duty.
-Yeah, but only temporary.
-Oh, not if we can help it.
-Harriet.
-Herb.
Eh? Huh?
Well, Harriet,
I finished vacuuming.
-You would, you show off.
-[GRUNTS]
-Where do I empty this?
-In an incinerator, dear.
Oh, yeah.
And don't forget
to wax the floors.
-Yeah.
-[LAUGHS]
You... you traitor,
on account of you,
every American husband
will be chained to an apron.
[INCOHERENT MUMBLING]
-[DOOR SLAMS]
-Meeting adjourned.
[♪♪♪]
If she interrupts
just once more,
I'm walking out of here
and taking my building with me.
Ah! There'll be
no more interruptions.
Now... now, check those figures.
I'm waiting, Mr. Shaw.
Glass ribbing at a dollar 75
a running foot.
A dollar 75, a running...
Oh, that reminds me...
That does it, that does it.
Here we go.
-No, Mr. Shaw...
-The Yarders Department?
-MR. DITHERS: No!
-Say, how much is that pongee
you have on sale?
Yep, no, no, no, be calm.
Please, I will take care
of this, believe me.
Two ninety-eight a yard?
Well, I saw an advertisement
in the paper yesterday
at another store
and it was
much cheaper than that.
What's that?
-She won't make any more calls.
-Hello? Hello?
Now then, shall we try it again
without any interruptions?
Oh, I'd love to.
[DOGS BARKING]
-Blondie, I b*rned the roast.
-[SIGHS] You didn't.
-[SIGHS]
-[DOGS BARKING]
This must be a nightmare.
This couldn't be happening.
Oh, Dagwood.
Bumstead,
will you take your family
and your burnt offering
and get out?
Come on, let's go home, Blondie.
-No, not yet. Mr. Dithers.
-Yes?
-It's all your fault.
-My fault?
Yes! You took me away
from my family.
Now, I belong at home with them.
They depend on me
and I've let them down.
-Now, just a minute, Blondie.
-Yeah, just a minute, Blondie.
This never would have happened
if you haven't let Dagwood go
in the first place.
Hey, hey, there's a mistake
in these totals.
MR. DITHERS:
What do you mean a mistake?
Yeah, well, somebody
must have used
an adding machine
here someplace.
-Are you sure?
-Oh, I'm positive.
I can prove it.
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
[DINGS]
Uh-huh. See?
It should be a 105,650 dollars
and you got here
that saves you 20,000 dollars.
That saves me 20,000 dollars,
but are you positive?
-He's never wrong.
-[SCOFFS] He can't cook
but when it comes to figures,
he's a whiz.
-Twenty thousand dollars.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Huh?
-You work for Dithers?
I'll say he works for me.
I wouldn't know what I'd do
-without Bumstead.
-I do not work for you.
-Not anymore!
-Good,
then you're working for me.
I've always wanted a man
who knew his way around figures.
-Well--
-Take your hands off him.
-He's mine.
-Not anymore. He's mine.
-Come on.
-Now, wait a minute here.
Now, let go of me.
-Alexander!
-Make up your mind.
Alexander, come on, help me.
-Stop that.
-Come on.
[SCREAMS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
[DINGS]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
J.C. Dithers
Construction Company.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Oh, hello, Cora.
Huh? Oh, no, you put in
one cup of peanut butter.
Uh-huh. And just
a little pinch of garlic, yeah.
Oh, yeah, and Cora,
don't forget to stir it well.
Uh-huh. All right, Cora.
[CHUCKLES]
-Peanut butter?
-Garlic?
Oh, yes. You know, since, uh,
my peanut butter surprise cake
was a hit at the bake sale,
all the ladies want my recipe.
[LAUGHS]
[♪♪♪]