DAGWOOD: Uh-uh, uh-uh,
don't touch that dial.
Blondie!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Ooh, I like that one of you,
Dagwood.
Oh, no,
that's not dignified enough.
What does it have
to be dignified for?
Well, you see, Mr. Dithers
is sending a presentation
to a perspective client
from out of town
and he wants to include pictures
of the office staff.
Yes. Uh, he wants to impress
the client.
Oh, then why don't you send
a picture of Mom
-in a bathing suit?
-Thank you, dear.
The client happens
to be a woman.
Well, as a woman,
I'd be impressed by a picture
that made you look strong,
handsome, and worldly.
Oh, which one is that?
It's not in there.
I've got it upstairs.
You have? Well, could you get it
for me?
Sure. But you'll have
to cut Rock Hudson's autograph.
[ALL LAUGH]
[♪♪♪]
MR. DITHERS: Yes, dear.
Yes, dear. Yes, dear. Yes, dear.
-Huh?
-Yes, dear.
Hey, hey, that's pretty clever.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, that's the only way
I can get any work done
around here
when my wife calls.
Hmm. Oh, I was thinking,
Mr. Dithers--
-Oh, just a second.
-Oh.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear.
Yes, dear, but as far
as my buying you
a fur coat is concerned,
the answer is definitely no.
-Mr. Dithers.
-Quiet.
-Hmm?
-Goodbye, dear.
Uh, gee, uh, I wish
I could get Blondie a fur coat.
Hmm. If I could afford it,
Mr. Dithers,
maybe if we get this contract
from Mrs. Hawthorne,
that, uh, you might
consider a little, uh--
No. No.
Have you got the pictures?
-Oh, yes.
-Mm-hmm.
Here, take your pick.
Is there any special kind
of a picture you'd like of me?
Well, have you a good one
that's, uh...
-a little out of focus?
-Yes, there's one-- Hmm.
Yeah, but these are all
family sh*ts.
Don't you have a good one
of yourself?
All I need is your head.
Well, there's one, uh...
Oh, yeah.
-There's one of my head.
-MR. DITHERS: Yeah.
-I recognize the point.
-Uh...
-Oh, look, Bumstead.
-Huh?
The whole idea of sending
our pictures to Mrs. Hawthorne
-is to impress her...
-Uh-huh.
...with the high caliber
of our staff.
Uh, oh. Thank you.
Have you those estimates
finished?
-No, not yet.
-Well, what are you waiting for?
Well, uh, I thought
I'd come back
and finish them after dinner.
No one is leaving here
until that stuff
is in the mail tonight.
Well, Blondie's expecting me
home to dinner.
Oh, is it all right
if I call her?
-Well, certainly.
-Oh, good.
Seven, six, six...
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Oh, Alexander!
-[TELEPHONE RINGING]
-Cookie.
Oh, won't someone answer
the phone?
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
-[DAISY BARKS]
-Blondie?
Oh, Daisy,
I didn't recognize your voice.
Uh, will you call Blondie
to the phone please?
-[DAISY BARKING]
-Thanks, Daisy.
[BARKS]
-DAGWOOD: Blondie.
-Thank you, Daisy.
Yes, dear.
When are you coming home?
Well, I have to work late
and I was wondering
if you could bring me
some supper.
Of course. It's too bad
I planned such a nice dinner.
Or say why don't I pack enough
for all of us
and we'll come down
and eat with you?
Hey, that's great.
Sure, come on. [CHUCKLES]
It'd be just like a picnic.
We'll see you in a little while.
Goodbye, Blondie.
-BLONDIE: Oh, Dagwood.
-Huh?
-[BARKS]
-Oh, yeah, goodbye, Daisy.
[♪♪♪]
Gee, I'm glad you all came down.
We didn't want you to eat alone.
Oh, thank you.
I better get this cleaned up
before Mr. Dithers comes in.
-Oh, here, I'll help you, dear.
-Yeah.
-Where should we put all this?
-Oh, we'll just take it outside.
-All right?
-There.
-Okay.
-Here you go.
ALEXANDER:
Boy, this sure is a nice set up.
COOKIE: Yeah.
I bet Dad's chair
is pretty comfortable, too.
It's leather, too.
-How do I look?
-Just like Daddy.
Boy, when I grow up,
I hope I get this job.
You think you can handle it?
There's nothing to it. Watch.
Mr. Dithers,
come in here immediately,
I wanna talk to you
about a raise.
MR. DITHERS: Bumstead!
You're just like Daddy,
all right.
You haven't been in the office
five minutes
and you got Mr. Dithers
mad at you.
That's right, children,
you be nice and quiet.
Hmm.
We've got the best children
in the world, just look at them.
-Outstanding.
-Huh?
Oh, hello, Blondie, hello, kids.
Hello, Mr. Dithers, we came down
to eat dinner with Dagwood.
-Oh, yeah.
-Dinner?
Oh, that's fine.
Did you call me on the intercom?
DAGWOOD: Oh, no, sir.
And he didn't ask
for a raise either.
Huh? A raise? What raise?
Come on, Mom, let's get out.
Pop's busy.
Oh, yes, children,
see you later, dear.
-Let's go, little one.
-Yeah.
-BLONDIE: Bye, Mr. Dithers.
-Good... goodbye.
Yeah, goodbye. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, Mr. Dithers... [CHUCKLES]
What about that raise
that you mentioned, huh?
Don't be sickening.
Have you finished
with those estimates?
Oh. Oh, no, I have, uh,
one more calculation to make.
-Mm-hmm.
-[ADDING MACHINE CLICKING]
-[ADDING MACHINE DINGS]
-Hmm. What's that?
Oh, I was just figuring out
my overtime.
That's coming along just fine,
Marie.
Bumstead will have the estimates
-in a little while.
-Yes, sir.
Now, be sure to paste
the pictures on the front page
-of the presentation.
-Oh, I will, sir.
-Hey, Marie.
-Hi, Andy.
So this is where you work.
How did you ever find the place?
I called your mother, she said
you were working late tonight.
Well, I am,
have to get this letter out.
We're working on a big deal,
Andy.
ANDY: Well,
what about the movies?
-Couldn't we make the late show?
-Hope you hurry. Can I help?
Yes, as a matter of fact
you can.
Here, just take these pictures,
and place them over
their proper captions.
All right.
[TYPEWRITER CLICKING]
-Which one is the president?
-Mr. Dithers.
[TYPEWRITER CLICKING]
ANDY: What do I do with it?
MARIE: Here,
just put it in here for me.
-There, I'm just about finished.
-Good.
I'll meet you out front
in the car.
All right, Andy.
Here are the estimates,
everything else in there?
-Yes, sir.
-And the pictures?
Yes, sir, I pasted them
on a separate sheet,
-just as you told me.
-Pasted?
I hope you didn't ruin
my picture, let me see.
-[GROANS]
-Keep your grubby hands off.
You better seal that, Marie,
before something happens.
-Yeah, I'll mail it for you.
-I'll mail it myself.
It's doing things like this
that made me what I am today.
I don't care
if they're giving them away,
I am not buying you
a new fur coat and that is that.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Goodbye, dear.
Marie, if my wife calls again,
tell her I'm out of town.
Yes, sir,
and this just came for you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, it's from Mrs. Hawthorne.
Well, that was a fast answer.
We just sent our estimates
three days ago.
-Well.
-Well, what is it, Mr. Dithers?
-She accepted our bid.
-Oh, that's wonderful.
Oh, and listen to this
and I quote,
"I was particularly impressed
with the picture you enclosed."
"It's good to see
such a clean cut, dynamic,
personable looking young man
at the head of such
an impressive organization."
"To be candid with you,
it was your picture
that helped influence
my decision."
"I am a firm believer
in young blood in industry."
[CHUCKLES] Unquote.
Oh, uh, that certainly
was a good picture of me.
Too bad I didn't have
more copies made.
-Well, look, she returned it.
-Oh.
Yes, sir, you certainly
are a personable
looking young man-- Dagwood.
-Dagwood Bumstead?
-Well, what's the matter?
Look.
Oh, I am sorry, Mr. Dithers.
How could you have made an error
like that?
But I didn't make it,
it was Andy.
Well, you send him in here--
Who's Andy?
Well, he was my date and he came
to call for me that night.
I knew you were in a hurry
to get the letter out,
so I asked him to paste
the pictures on for me.
Doesn't he know I am president
of this company?
But of course he does,
Mr. Dithers,
I... I told him all about you.
Well, I told him what a sweet,
kind, generous,
thoughtful man you are,
and I guess it was just
a natural mistake that
he put Mr. Bumstead's picture.
-What?
-Well, I mean, that he put
-your picture instead of--
-Oh, never mind, never mind.
We are in big trouble.
Well, maybe I could write
her a letter
and explain the mistake.
No, no, no,
we can't do a thing like that.
We are trying to impress her
with our efficiency
and accuracy.
If we could make a mistake
about a little thing like this,
think of what we could do
to a 12-story building.
Well, maybe there's
no harm done.
After all, Mrs. Hawthorne,
will never really know
-the difference.
-Yeah?
Well, read this paragraph.
"I was particularly impressed
with the picture you enclosed."
"It's good to see
such a clean, cut,
-personable looking young man."
-No, no, no, this paragraph.
Oh, "I plan to stop over in town
for a couple of hours tomorrow
and I'm looking forward
to meeting you in person."
[GASPS] Oh, gosh,
she's going to think
that you're Mr. Bumstead
and Mr. Bumstead is you. [GASPS]
Yeah, and how can I...
wait a second, wait a second,
maybe it'll work.
After all she'll only be here
for a couple of hours,
suppose she does think
I'm Bumstead and Bumstead is me.
Yes, especially since she raved
so about his picture.
She did not rave
about his picture.
All she said was,
he was a clean cut, dynamic,
personable looking young man.
I don't call that raving.
-Where is Bumstead?
-Well, he's in his office.
-Should I get him for you?
-No, no, no, I'll handle this.
Yes, sir.
MR. DITHERS: Bumstead.
Bummy.
-Mr. Dithers?
-MR. DITHERS: Yes.
If it wouldn't be
too inconvenient,
would you please come
into my office?
Well, now that you mentioned it,
Mr. Dithers,
it would be a little bit
inconvenient.
MR. DITHERS: Come in here!
Fast, fast.
-DAGWOOD: Yes, sir.
-Oh, no.
Now, get hold of yourself, J.C.,
don't lose your temper.
Be kind, be sweet, be patient.
-Dagwood, my boy.
-Mr. Dithers?
-Yes, come in, son.
-Huh?
You don't know how glad I am
to see you.
-Come in and sit down.
-Oh. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
No, no, no, not there,
in my chair.
-Oh, your chair?
-Yes, of course.
Now, come on, sit down.
Now relax. Huh?
Mr. Dithers,
do you feel all right?
Why of course I do.
-Come, come, sit down.
-Huh?
-Yes, now be comfortable.
-Mm-hmm.
I want to have a little talk
with you.
Oh, sure. Go ahead.
[CHUCKLES] Now, how does
that feel, my boy?
-Oh, it's very comfortable.
-[CHAIR CREAKING]
Good. Dagwood,
how long have you been...
[CHAIR CREAKING]
How long--
Will you stop that rocking?
I... I'm sorry, I--
I mean, I have to get
the chair oiled.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Oh.
There we are, sit down.
Now lean back.
-Yes, you fit perfectly.
-Oh.
You belong in that chair.
-I do?
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, I could take it over
to my office.
-No, no, no, no, no.
-Oh.
No,
that's the president's chair.
-Oh. Ah!
-There we are.
You know, Dagwood,
I won't be around
this office forever.
Oh, you're quitting early today,
Mr. Dithers?
-Oh, I mean, forever.
-Oh, don't say that, J.C.
You're good for at least
a couple more years.
Well, thanks.
But I'm sorry,
sit down, sit down.
You know, on the day
that I'm called
at that big construction company
in the sky.
-Uh-huh.
-I want to know that I'm leaving
this company in good hands.
-Oh. You'll find somebody, J.C.
-[CHUCKLES] I think I found him.
-Huh?
-Yeah.
-Who?
-You, my boy. You.
-Me?
-You.
All right, Mr. Dithers.
What did I ever do
to deserve this?
[♪♪♪]
Oh, Blondie,
I can't run the company.
BLONDIE: Yes, you can.
You know, maybe it was fate that
those pictures got mixed up.
Now, you'll get a chance
to show Mr. Dithers
how you would run the company.
I think it's a wonderful
opportunity
to demonstrate
your executive ability.
Yeah, but Blondie,
do you think I'm forceful
and tough enough
to be an executive?
Of course you are.
You're the most forceful
and masterful man I know.
Ah, ah, ah.
-You'll spoil your dinner.
-Yeah.
-[DAISY BARKS]
-[DOGS WHINE]
[GROANS] And you stop arguing
over your dog biscuits.
I'll just take them away.
That's it. There.
Well, even if you are using
Mr. Dithers' name,
you're using your brain.
Yeah, I never thought of that.
Yeah, but I don't know whether
I can be like Mr. Dithers.
His wife has been calling him up
all week.
Yes. Well, asking him
for a little old fur coat,
-and he won't even buy her one.
-I know. She told me about it.
Yeah. If I was really
the president
of the J.C. Dithers Company
and you call me for a fur coat?
[LAUGHS] I'd have them send
you over half a dozen of them.
Hmm. One for every day
in a week.
Oh, Dagwood.
You're the kindest,
most generous,
most intelligent man I know.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Hold it. Huh?
I'll be right back. [CHUCKLES]
Mrs. Hawthorne
will be here soon.
Now, remember,
I am Dagwood
and Dagwood is Dithers?
-Yes, Mr. Dithers.
-Bumstead.
Yes, Mr. Dithers.
No, no, no, Bumstead.
You are Dithers
and I am Bumstead.
Now, have you got that straight?
-Yes, Mr. Dithers.
-No, no, no.
You are Dithers
and I am Bumstead.
Now, say that over and over
and over to yourself again.
You are Dithers
and I am Bumstead.
-You are...
-Yeah, yeah. I got it.
You are Dithers
and I am Bumstead.
Yeah, I... I think I got it now,
Mr. Dithers.
Well, I'll put this stuff
in here now.
-What is all that junk?
-It's my stuff.
Well, leave it in your
own office, you won't need it.
Well, okay, Mr. Dithers.
Bumstead!
-I mean, okay, Mr. Bumstead.
-Yeah.
Hey, I finally got it right,
Mr. Dithers.
Hey, I better get this stuff
out of here.
There's only one way
I can stop him from goofing
the whole thing.
I've got to stick with him
every moment
that Mrs. Hawthorne is here.
I can't leave him alone
with her.
You're absolutely right,
Mr. Bumstead.
Who are you calling,
Bum-- Bumstead!
Oh, excuse me.
-No.
-Huh?
Oh, can I get a drink of water?
Most certainly.
But don't excuse yourself.
Be forceful. You're the boss.
Use authority.
Oh. Oh. [LAUGHS]
-[CLEARS THROAT] Bumstead.
-That's right.
-Bumstead!
-That's right.
[LAUGHS]
Stand at attention
when I talk to you.
-Yes, sir.
-Now, get back to work
and stop hanging around
that water cooler.
-How is that there?
-That's fine.
-That's very good, my boy.
-Uh-huh.
But I want you to bear in mind
one thing.
You're the boss around here
for just a few hours.
-Yeah.
-Don't be carried away
-with the idea.
-No, I can't go through with it.
Oh, yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
You are doing great now.
-Come on. We'll try it again.
-Oh.
-Here you are.
-I hon--
-Come on, in... insult me.
-Oh, I couldn't do that.
Oh, yes, you can. Come on now.
Call me something nasty.
Oh, you were so and so.
Oh, you can do better
than that. Come on.
-You muttonhead.
-That's better.
-You noodle noggin.
-That's it.
-You baby brain jelly fish.
-MR. DITHERS: Try nincompoop.
-DAGWOOD: You nincompoop.
-MR. DITHERS: That's it.
You insignificant blowhard.
You... you...
you penny pinching,
blue nose baboon.
-You--
-That's enough.
Hey, I'm doing pretty good, huh?
Bumstead, you bum.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Geez, he's almost good
as you are, Mr. Dithers.
-I mean, Mr. Bumstead.
-Call me Frankenstein.
I think I've created a monster.
[♪♪♪]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
-MR. DITHERS: Come in, please.
-MRS. HAWTHORNE: Thank you.
-Mr. Dithers.
-Oh.
-This is Mrs. Hawthorne.
-How do you do, Mrs. Hawthorne?
It's a pleasure
to shake your hand, Mr. Dithers.
Oh, the pleasure is all mine.
Won't you be seated,
Mrs. Hawthorne?
Oh, yes. Would you be seated,
Mrs. Hawthorne?
I'll get right to the point,
Mr. Dithers.
-Uh-huh.
-When I saw your photograph,
I knew you were the man
for the job.
Well... [CHUCKLES]
You know, in a way
that picture reminded me
of my husband
when he was a young man.
He must have been
a nice looking fellow.
I mean, thank you.
Now, about that building,
I went over your estimate,
and don't you think that
the cost of the parking area
is a bit too high?
Oh, yes, I do.
Well, what can your company
do about it?
-Huh?
-Cut it.
Oh, you're very cooperative.
Now, another thing.
I was thinking
of an additional entrance
on the northeast side,
would that be all right?
[CLEAR THROATS]
That will be all, Bumstead.
Uh, but...
-That will be all, Bumstead!
-Yes, sir.
-Oh, excuse me, sir.
-Huh?
There's something on your coat.
-There you are.
-Oh, thanks, Bumstead.
-Not at all.
-I may give you a raise.
I'm surprised that a young man
like you
having an old fogy like that
in your organization.
Oh, Bumstead? [CHUCKLES]
I just keep him around
for laughs. [LAUGHS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Now, Mrs. Hawthorne,
we've had a lot of experience
in this type of architecture.
We used it
for the parking building
when we constructed it in 19...
19...
-'51.
-1951.
[LAUGHS]
I'd like a breakdown
on the final figures.
Oh, I'll have my assistant
bring them in immediately.
-Bumstead!
-Ow!
Uh, Bumstead,
bring in our complete breakdown
on the figures.
-Get the figures.
-Yes, sir.
He'll be right in.
-[TELEPHONE RINGING]
-Excuse me.
-Hello.
-Oh, hello, Dagwood.
This is Mrs. Dithers.
Is my husband there?
Oh, it's Mrs. Dithers,
she wants to talk
to her husband.
Oh. That's me. [LAUGHS]
I have all the figures,
why don't you
call her back later?
No, no, that can wait.
Go ahead and talk to her.
-I have plenty of time.
-[MUMBLES] Talk to her?
-Look.
-Huh?
Look, why don't you play
that little trick
you always play on her, huh?
[CHUCKLES] It's always
such a good little joke.
There we are.
Oh, she always gets
a great kick out of this.
CORA: Hello. Hello.
Are you there?
-MR. DITHERS: Yes, dear.
-Good.
I called you about the fur coat.
MR. DITHERS: Yes, dear.
I'm going to give you
one more chance.
Can I buy the fur coat?
-MR. DITHERS: Yes, dear.
-Well, why can't-- I can?
MR. DITHERS: Yes, dear.
You mean I can really buy
the fur coat?
-MR. DITHERS: Yes, dear.
-Oh. Well, thank you.
It's okay.
You take it right upstairs
to my husband's office.
Oh.
Now, is there anything else
you'd like to have explained,
Mrs. Hawthorne?
No, I'm very much satisfied
with the whole setup.
Well, here is the contract
and if you'll just sign
right here.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't know you were busy.
Oh, that's all right. Come in.
[CHUCKLES]
Mrs. Hawthorne, this is my wife.
-How do you do, Mrs. Dithers?
-Mrs. D--
Oh, yes. How do you do?
Well, I won't interrupt you
any longer.
I was downtown
and I just dropped in to see
-how things were going.
-Goodbye, Mrs. Dithers.
Now, if you'll just sign here.
Excuse me, a messenger
just brought this fur coat
-from Mrs. Dithers.
-What?
A new fur coat? How wonderful?
Oh, I bet you're dying
to try it on.
-Why...
-MR. DITHERS: No, she isn't.
Now, if you'll just sign here.
Oh, that can wait.
Come on, Mrs. Dithers.
Try it on.
Oh, never mind. Do try it on.
Mrs. Hawthorne,
you don't understand. It's...
You...
Excuse me, I think I'll go look
for another job.
MRS. HAWTHORNE: Oh. Oh, my.
Try it on.
Oh, it looks wonderful on you,
dear.
Yeah, it sure does.
It's too big. You better
send it back for alterations.
Oh, I don't think it needs
to be altered.
Please.
If you'll just sign here.
Yes.
Hey, Mom, Cookie and I--
Hey, look at her.
Gee, a new fur coat, Mom.
-Are these your children?
-Uh... Yes.
And what's your name?
-Alexander Bumstead.
-And I'm Cookie Bumstead
Bumstead?
I'll explain
if you'll just sign here.
Julius, darling.
Oh.
Julius? I thought his name
was Dagwood?
-That's our Daddy's name.
-And just who is your Daddy?
-He is.
-He is.
Blondie,
why are you wearing my coat?
Your coat?
Exactly what is going on here?
You wouldn't consider signing
the contract first, would you?
-No, I wouldn't.
-I didn't think you would.
DAGWOOD: Oh,
I think I can explain.
You see, my name is Dithers.
That is it's Dithers today
and yesterday was Bumstead,
-and tomorrow--
-It'll be mud.
-Huh?
-Wait a minute.
I think
I can straighten this out.
You see, Mrs. Hawthorne,
a mistake was made
when the pictures were sent out,
and Mr. Dithers' name
appeared over Dagwood's picture.
Yeah, and vice here
appeared over versa.
I'm sorry.
You didn't tell me immediately.
-Now...
-I'm sorry, Mr. Dithers.
Oh, that's all right, my boy.
It wasn't your fault.
Would you mind stepping
into the next office?
Huh?
Well, excuse me, please.
I'd like to have a little talk
with you.
-Uh-huh.
-It won't take long.
Okay, Dagwood.
Gee, Mom,
is Pop getting get fired?
I certainly hope not.
MR. DITHERS: Dagwood, my boy,
I want you to know
that even though
we didn't get that contract,
I'm proud of you.
Our friendship
is more important than any deal.
As long as I'm in business,
you'll always have a job.
Too bad Mrs. Hawthorne
isn't going to give us
that contract.
Now, she'll have to go
to some unreliable contractor
who'll probably fleece her out
of every cent she's got.
You know, ladies,
I'm sure Mr. Dithers
didn't mean for me to hear
that conversation.
But I'm glad I did.
It showed me how much character
he's got.
I've decided to give him
the contract after all.
[CHEERS, LAUGHS]
Mr. Dithers, I want to thank you
for everything.
Oh, you're welcome, my boy.
Not only have you been
very nice to me,
but giving Mrs. Dithers
that fur coat
and getting that other one
for Blondie.
-It's just too much.
-Wow.
Looks like you two
are going to have new fur coats.
Now, wait a minute. Put it down.
MR. DITHERS: Come here, you.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[DAGWOOD SCREAMING]
Blondie!
Blondie!
[♪♪♪]
[TEETH CLATTERING]
Dagwood, what's that noise?
That's my teeth. I'm freezing.
Freezing? I'm warm as toast.
Well, then,
would you mind getting up
-and closing the window?
-I'd be glad to, dear.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]