DAGWOOD: Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
Don't touch that dial.
Blondie!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
DAGWOOD:
Well, this is just about it.
Thank you, dear. When the new
neighbors move in next door,
they'll see that we never let
our property run down.
It's a great paint job, Pop.
When are we going to be able
to use the front door again?
Well, it ought to be dry
about tomorrow morning.
There we are.
-HERB: Oh.
-DAGWOOD: Oh.
-Oh, there you are.
-Yeah.
-You get off my wet threshold.
-[GROANS]
Oh. Oh, my. [EXHALES]
My new jacket.
Now wait... now wait. Huh?
If I did that, I'd get spanked.
[♪♪♪]
Are you sure
they're in the house?
COOKIE: Yes, right after
the moving van drove away,
I saw someone
pull down the shades.
-I wonder if they have any kids.
-Kids or not,
I'm glad
we're getting new neighbors.
It will give Daddy a chance
to fight with someone...
-[MUNCHES]
-COOKIE: ...besides Mr. Woodley.
Daisy.
[WHIMPERS]
Children,
get away from the window.
Aw, Mom,
we just wanted to see
what the new neighbors
look like.
I'm sure
we'll get acquainted later.
We don't want them to think
we're a family of peeping Toms.
Shoo. Go on.
Run along, children.
I wonder what they do look like.
-[BARKS]
-Oh. [CHUCKLES]
I'm only dusting
the window, Daisy.
Oh, that must be the wife.
[DAGWOOD WHISTLING]
[IMITATING GROWLING ANIMAL]
Well, I guess there's no law
against peeping Toms up here.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
I, um... I was... Oh, yes.
I... I thought I saw
a flying saucer. [CHUCKLES]
Huh! Huh?
She doesn't look
like a flying saucer to me.
Oh, I just remembered I, uh...
have some trash to burn.
See any kids yet?
-Blondie?
-Oh.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Mm-hmm.
This spot on the window
just won't rub off.
Yeah, I know. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, Dagwood.
Put those binoculars away.
She might see you.
Well, I was just wondering
if they, uh, played bridge.
-[CHUCKLES]
-[DAISY BARKS]
I wonder what he looks like.
Daisy, you get away
from that window.
We'll let you know
if they've got a cat.
Come on.
I thought I'd find you two
at the window.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Hello, Woodley...
[♪♪♪]
[CHUCKLES]
She'll brighten up
the neighborhood.
Herb, remember,
you're a married man.
-Killjoy.
-[CHUCKLES]
All right, everybody.
Away from the window.
-She's gone, the show is over.
-Maybe she'll come back.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Come on you two.
Well, we're just
being neighborly.
Yeah. I wonder what line
of business her husband's in.
Yeah. Herb, why don't you give
him a chance to get unpacked
before you try
to cut yourself in?
Oh, very funny.
Howdy.
I read your sign
on the front door
and didn't think you'd mind us
coming in the back way.
DALLAS: Oh, we just had
to meet our new neighbors.
I'm Dallas.
-[EXHALES]
-Dallas Carrey.
[CHUCKLES] How you do?
I'm Blondie Bumstead.
I'm powerful happy
to meet y'all.
I'm Wildcat Carrey.
This here is my boy, Billy Bob.
-Howdy? We're from Texas.
-Oh, really?
My, this is a darling
little old place
you got here.
[EXHALES]
Dagwood, we have company.
Oh. Oh, yes,
you're the folks over across...
Yeah. I... I was just look...
Oh. [CHUCKLES] Hi.
That's my husband, Dagwood.
Dagwood, these are the Carreys,
the new neighbors.
Uh. New neighbors?
Uh. That's funny,
we didn't know anybody
was moving in. [CHUCKLES]
What were you looking out
the window out?
-Huh? Oh.
-Howdy.
Wildcat's my name
and oil is my game.
-Oh, I'm glad to meet you.
-Well, did you say oil?
Herb Woodley is my name.
Glad to know you.
-I'm your neighbor too.
-My goodness, Blondie,
you sure lasted yourself
a handsome man.
[CHUCKLES]
And Mr. Woodley, I'm Dallas.
Well, my friends call me Herby.
Oh, Herby.
Oh, my goodness, Blondie,
I think our neighbor's
just adorable.
Isn't he though?
I can see we're all gonna be
kissing cousins in no time.
[ALL LAUGH]
Well, please sit down
and I'll make some coffee.
-Well, thank you, ma'am.
-Ain't you got any kids?
-Yes, they're upstairs.
-I'll round them up.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Oh.
Nice boy.
Oh, he looks even better
sittin' on a horse.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Oh, my, this is
a darling little old house.
You must come over
and see ours sometime.
-Oh. [CHUCKLES]
-I won't be a minute.
Oh. Uh. Tell me, Wildcat,
why did you move
away from Texas?
Doctor's orders.
Dallas is allergic to oil.
-Oh.
-Allergic to oil?
Yes. Whenever I'm around oil,
I just sneeze
my little old head off.
Them derricks around
us were making life
miserable for Dallas.
Oh, that's a shame. [CHUCKLES]
Doctor figured, by moving
up North for a while,
might cure her.
[SIGHS]
I wonder when I'll start
getting glamorous.
I better check to see
if there's any action next door.
BILLY BOB: Oh, here you are.
I've been looking in every room.
Is that all you do in this house
is just look out windows?
-Who are you?
-BILLY BOB: Your new neighbor,
Billy Bob's the name
and the seventh grade
is my game.
I'm Alexander,
and this is my sister, Cookie.
Howdy, ma'am.
Hello.
Say, where did you get
those classy boots?
From Texas, where men are men
and boys are boys.
And I'm sort of in between.
-I'm nine. How old are you?
-Eleven, ma'am.
Imagine,
I always did like older men.
Gee, you're only 11? I'm 15,
and you're taller than I am.
You're living
in cramped country.
We got more room
to grow in Texas.
Come on in my room
and I'll show you
the new jet interceptor
I'm building.
A Texas gentleman
never walks out on a lady.
Oh, Alexander,
you're so uncouth.
[ALL LAUGH]
My grandfather
once had a stagecoach
-that didn't have any wheels.
-It didn't have any wheels?
-Uh, what held it up?
-Bandits!
-Oh.
-[LAUGHS]
You sure walked into that one,
did you, Bumstead? [CHUCKLES]
My husband just loves
to tell jokes.
-Hmm.
-Here we are.
DALLAS: Oh, my, that's good.
Blondie, I was just telling
about my grand pop,
if he drove a stagecoach,
he didn't have any wheels.
Oh, really?
Cream and sugar, Dallas?
Black, thank you.
I said the stagecoach
didn't have any wheels.
I heard you.
Help yourself to the cookies.
You're supposed to say
what held it up.
Oh, probably band-aids.
[ALL LAUGH]
You know, Blondie has a pretty
good sense of humor herself.
[LAUGHS]
BILLY BOY: Yippee!
Oh, good heavens, what was that?
That's my boy giving a Texas
roundup yell.
-BILLY BOY: Yippee.
-[DOGS BARKING]
-Which way'd they go?
-WILDCAT: They went that away.
-COOKIE: Yippee.
-DALLAS: Hey, Blondie,
I just got to look at that doll,
the little old figurine.
[♪♪♪]
[SNEEZES]
-Uh. Gesundheit.
-[DALLAS SNEEZING]
[SNEEZES]
[EXHALES]
-[SNEEZES]
-Dallas, are you catching cold?
It's oil.
-DAGWOOD: Uh. Oil? What's oil?
-Black gold.
-Oh...
-Huh?
-...what do you mean black gold?
-BLONDIE: Yeah.
There's oil under this floor.
Yeah. Well, there's electricity
and there's gas,
-but there's no oil.
-When my little wife sneezes,
-that means only one thing, oil.
-Oh, you must be mistaken.
Dallas is never mistaken,
as well being a good wife,
she's an acting
Geiger counter too.
[SNEEZES]
[SNEEZES]
[SIGHS]
That does it. There's oil under
this house, partner.
But wait a minute, are you sure?
Try yourself.
-[SNEEZES]
-Oh.
-Blondie...
-[GROANS]
-...we're rich.
-I can't believe it.
Dagwood, old buddy, buddy,
I'm gonna give up
everything else in life
and help you drill for it.
You could put up a derrick
and drill through the floor
-right here.
-No, wait a minute.
-Huh?
-There will be no oil
-derricks in this living room.
-Uh.
But... but, Blondie,
if there's oil under there,
-we're gonna get the oil out.
-Not in this house.
In Texas, lots of folks have
derricks in the living room.
They're decorating with lace,
night drapes,
and they look real pretty.
There will be no drilling
in this house and that's final.
-Oh.
-But, Blondie,
when we hit our first customer,
you can buy 25 houses.
Yeah. Wait a minute.
What is this we business?
This is my house
-and my all... Uh. Oil.
-[CHUCKLES]
Think of all the mink
coats you can buy, Blondie.
Hey, what's going on?
Oh, be careful, Alexander,
you might get hit with a gusher.
[LAUGHS]
[♪♪♪]
[HUMS]
Dagwood!
Evening, ma'am.
BLONDIE:
Do you know what time it is?
Hmm. United States time
or Texas time?
It's very late
and you need your sleep.
Oh, I couldn't sleep. Hmm.
I had so much to eat at dinner
that when I laid
on my back in bed,
it flipped me over
on my stomach.
-What in the world is all this?
-[CHUCKLES]
Well, this is just a little
sandwich I'm making
to sort of
counterbalance me. Hmm.
Is this caviar?
Yes, it's very fine caviar.
[CHUCKLES] Of course.
Now that we're going
to be millionaires... [CHUCKLES]
...I just wouldn't make
a sandwich with ordinary stuff.
Pickled artichoke hearts?
Oh, that goes
with the smoked oysters,
and then the next layer
is the imported
uncurled anchovies.
Now, look, dear,
pay attention to me.
-Okay, partner.
-Now, in the first place,
you haven't got
the million dollars yet.
And did you ever think
about taxes?
Oh, yes, ma'am.
That's a wonderful state.
Not Texas. Taxes.
The money you have to pay
-to the government.
-Oh, that?
We're gonna be
in a very high income bracket.
-Mm-hmm
-Oh, how much will we have
to pay on a...
on a million dollars?
Well, a million dollars less
deduction for three dependent
would be about, uh...
[ADDING MACHINE NOISES]
That would be
about 887,322 dollars.
Oh, my, that only leaves us
That's right.
We're practically
poverty-stricken.
-See?
-Yeah. H... how can we exist
on a measly hundred
thousand dollars a year?
Well, how do we live now?
Blondie, we're in big trouble.
-I've got to get a tax lawyer.
-Oh, but they're very expensive.
Well, how much
would a good one cost?
-Oh, about 100,000 dollars.
-Oh, we're broke again.
-We owe money.
-Oh, this is terrible.
Oh, I... I'll never be
able to sleep.
But w... what can I do?
-Well, how about going to bed?
-Well, I couldn't sleep.
Um, we can't afford
to be a millionaire
unless we give
all our money away.
[CHUCKLES] Come on,
old paint,
-off to the old corral.
-[GROANS]
Oh, Blondie,
we're ruined.
[SIGHS]
We can't afford to be rich.
Well, we can't afford to be rich
unless we're poor.
How did I ever get mixed up
in this mess?
You'll feel better
in the morning.
Yeah. Wait a minute.
Huh? Hmm.
Okay...
What a glorious way
to spend Sunday afternoon,
digging for oil.
Beats mowing a lawn any day.
It's a lucky thing,
Dallas sneezed out here too
would save us
from turning down the house.
Herb, I still can't understand
how you became my partner
-in this deal.
-Um. Never mind.
Give me the board, will you?
Time is money.
-Here.
-[GROANS]
[GRUNTS] Give me that!
DAGWOOD: Oh, I'm sorry, Herb.
Sometimes I think you hate me.
You know
that you're already acting
like an eccentric millionaire.
[LAUGHS]
This board
is much too long. Look.
Oh.
Here, give it to me.
I'll fix it.
All right. And watch
what you're doing, will you?
-[GROANS]
-DAGWOOD: Yeah, yeah...
Yeah. Hold it, Herb.
-Hold it?
-DAGWOOD: Yeah.
-Uh...
-DAGWOOD: Don't get excited.
I'll have it fixed in a second.
HERB: Oh!
DAGWOOD: Huh?
-No, no. Oh.
-Oh.
Oh. You know, you should be
more careful, Herb.
-What?
-Well, I...
I guess I'd better check
the instructions on this saw.
You are trying
to do away with me.
No, no, now wait a minute, Herb.
Now, wait a minute.
I'm gonna dissolve
this partnership right now.
-Buddy...
-No, buddy, buddy. Uh.
Think you got
the motor to working.
We can start drilling just
as soon as I assemble the rig.
-Um...
-I got you. Come on.
Fellas,
there's no time for play.
-[DAGWOOD CHUCKLES]
-Howdy, y'all.
Billy Bob's
teaching me to ride his pony.
And she takes to the saddle
like a bull weaving
to the field of cotton.
-Daddy...
-DAGWOOD: Huh?
-have you looked around yet?
-Uh. Not yet.
Oh, dear,
I was hoping we'd be out
of the lower income bracket
by now. Giddy up.
WILDCAT: Let's get to work.
Give me a hand with the drill.
Oh, wait a minute.
We've got something
much more important to do.
Uh. Simmer down now, Herb.
We've got a Christen
out there.
Christening? Do we have to?
Oh, this is the biggest thing
in my life.
-[CHUCKLES] Well...
-[BIRDS CHIRPING]
I christen thee...
Bumstead Bonanza!
[CHUCKLES]
[WOOD CREAKING]
DAGWOOD: Look out.
Oh, christen you.
[SCREAMS]
I'll be a suck-egg mule.
[♪♪♪]
Hello, Blondie.
I just wanted to inform
your BB eyed husband
-that the weekend is over.
-DAGWOOD: Yippee.
Bumstead,
you're finally flipped.
Oh, is that a nice way
to talk to an oil tycoon?
Oil tycoon?
Just one little old sneeze
from Dallas
and I got rich on oil.
Oh..
Dallas?
What has Dallas
got to do with it?
Well, you see, uh, Dallas
is Wildcat's little old wife
and Geiger counter by marriage.
She's never wrong, and she says
I got oil in my backyard.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Bumstead...
Huh?
...will you either make sense
or shut up?
Hmm. Well, you see,
Dallas and Carrey...
Uh. Dallas and Wildcat
Carrey that is,
they're our new neighbors
and, uh, he's gonna help me
drill for oil.
Well, we've already pumped
-Twelve barrels of oil?
-No mud.
I ought to make you go ahead
and make a fool of yourself,
but I can't let him take
advantage of you and Blondie.
-But Mr. Dithers...
-Look, you have your friend,
Wildcat and his wife
at your house tonight.
And Cora and I will drop by
and expose him
before your very eyes.
Yes. But you got the wrong
impression of Wildcat.
Now, we'll see about that.
Now, go and take off
that silly outfit.
[♪♪♪]
DAGWOOD: Mr. Dithers!
DITHERS: Oh.
But, Blondie,
you are an intelligent woman,
and I can't understand
how you could fall
-for a line like that?
-Well, Wildcat does know
-a lot about oil and...
-Hmm.
...and Dallas did sneeze.
-Uh-huh.
-Oh, Blondie,
how many times was oil
actually discovered
-when she sneezed in Texas?
-Well, once actually.
-Well, just once?
-Well, once out of three sneezes
-isn't bad, Mr. Dithers.
-Dallas is allergic to oil.
She even sneezes when she passes
the service station.
Well, I'm allergic
to Cora's mother,
-but I don't sneeze, I just...
-Julius, let's not get personal.
I bet he is not even
from Texas.
Oh, yes, he is.
They even have a lone star flag
-hanging in their window.
-WILDCAT: Anybody home?
Oh, Dallas, Wildcat. I want you
to meet my boss, Mr. Dithers.
Mr. Dithers.
Oh, it is a pleasure.
Mrs. Carrey, huh?
And this beautiful creature
I think is Mrs. Dithers.
Oh, well, I... I've heard a lot
about you, Mr. Carrey.
Please call me Wildcat.
[CHUCKLES] All right, Wildcat.
-And you can call me Cora.
-A magnificent name, Cora.
Oh, well, honored
to know you, Dithers.
-Julius is the name.
-All right, Julius.
Julius, you know
who y'all remind me of?
-No, who?
-Sam Houston.
Really?
Yes. He got the same
strong hands and face.
-Don't you think so, Wildcat?
-A dead ringer.
I will face my eyes
on real beauty.
DALLAS: Blondie, honey,
why didn't you tell me
that Dagwood
had such a handsome boss?
Wildcat, Mr. Dithers
doesn't believe that Dallas
actually sneezes at oil.
WILDCAT:
You got your doubts, Julius?
-Well, you see--
-Well, now, why shouldn't Julius
have doubts?
Sam Houston had doubts.
-Hmm.
-Julius, honey,
you just follow me.
[♪♪♪]
[SNEEZES]
Now, you see?
Now, that's the exact spot
when we first discovered
Bumstead oil.
Amazing. And only oil does that?
-Only oil.
-Well...
Yeah.
What do you think, Mr. Dithers?
Dallas did sneeze and since
she only sneezes on oil,
I... I can't understand what
you were so concerned about.
CORA: Oh, Blondie,
Dagwood is so fortunate
-to have neighbors like you.
-I got a great idea.
I'd like to take Dallas
to all the vacant lots in town
and every lot
she sneezes at, I'll buy.
Great idea, Julius.
I'll buy the lots
and we'll go 50-50
on all the oil
we take out of the ground.
Well, Julius, you're not only
a man of character,
-you're a man of action.
-[CHUCKLES]
Oh, sable coat, here I come.
Oh, Blondie, is it wonderful
all of us being rich together?
Uh-huh.
We'll be vacation
to the south of France
and then we'll go skiing
in Switzerland. And then--
Uh. Uh, uh, Cora...
you can spend
the money later on.
Right now,
I wanna see Bumstead's oil well.
WILDCAT: Come, sweet lady.
You too, Julius,
-right at the back door.
-Oh, Cora,
you're just gonna love oil.
-[CORA CHUCKLES]
-It's so friendly.
I don't know we've done
without it for so long.
Well, come on, Blondie.
Shouldn't we be out there
when the gusher comes in?
[CHUCKLES] Huh?
What's the matter, dear?
Well, I just can't make up
my mind.
What kind of upholstery
I want for my Rolls-Royce.
Uh. Huh? Hmm.
[♪♪♪]
Oh. [CHUCKLES] Mr. Dithers. Uh..
[CHUCKLES] Uh.
Oh, uh, why don't we go
to Europe first and...
-[EXHALES]
-...then hit South America?
Look, Mr. Dithers, it's 9:30.
Shouldn't we be getting down
to the office?
Hmm?
Huh?
-[BREATHES SHAKILY]
-Ah!
[EXHALES]
Shall we fly
or take a slow boat?
Well, Mrs. Dithers and Blondie
are out and buying clothes
-for the boat.
-Good. Then we'll fly.
Yeah.
Wildcat says our well
should be gushing in a few days.
-Uh.
-We leave a week later.
Uh-huh. Well, Mr. Dithers,
don't you think we ought
to get down to the office
-just to say hello or something?
-Oh, millionaires don't go
-to the office.
-[DOORBELL RINGING]
-Oh.
-I'm looking for Wildcat Carrey.
-Uh-huh.
-Nobody home and I thought
-I might find him here.
-Oh, w... well, uh,
h... he's not here,
but won't you come in and wait?
-Ronald Knapp.
-Ronald Knapp.
-Thank you.
-Oh, yes, come in.
Now, uh, Mr. Knapp, uh,
this is Mr. J.C. Dithers.
Uh. He's a fellow
oil tycoon. [CHUCKLES]
-Knapp.
-Mr. Dithers.
Oh, are you an old friend
of Wildcat?
I'm his brother-in-law.
I just came to tell him
that I got a job for him
back in San Antonio.
Build a new steakhouse
and I want him to manage it.
Well, I don't think
Wildcat needs a job. [CHUCKLES]
-I should say not.
-Oh, no, no.
Well, he doesn't
since he got wiped out
-in that last oil deal.
-Wiped out?
It's most unfortunate.
You see, Wildcat's got
the strange notion
that just because my sister,
Dallas, was allergic to oil,
and whenever she sneezed...
-Oh, no.
-[EXHALES] Oh.
Oh, don't tell me
my brother-in-law had something
to do with your oil wells.
Uh, we didn't know
he was a crook.
Wildcat's not a crook.
He just doesn't know
anything about oil.
-Nothing?
-Uh, not even a little bit?
-He's honest but foolish.
-Oh.
He moved up north here
to get a fresh start.
-Ah.
-[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
Oh, they just
drove up now. [CHUCKLES]
See you gentlemen later.
And please...
don't think ill of Wildcat.
He means well.
[GROANS]
[GROANS]
I spent every dime I had
on those lots
-Dallas sneezed at.
-Yeah.
-I'm ruined.
-Well, I guess I'd better go
-turn off the pump.
-CORA: Julius.
Huh?
-Look, I got my fur coat.
-Oh.
And you know,
it only cost 10,000 dollars.
I charged it, of course.
Yeah. But w...
where is Blondie?
Oh, Blondie and Harriet
are still shopping...
-Oh.
-...but I had to come back
to show Julius my coat
and my puppy.
Do you know he's got a pedigree
longer than Prince Rainier's?
Well, sic him on me.
Oh, don't pout.
I ordered something for you too.
A swimming pool.
-A swimming pool?
-[SCOFFS]
I hope they deliver it fast.
I wanna drown myself.
-What's eating him?
-Yeah. Well, you see...
[INHALES]
Wait till you see what I bought.
I wore out two charger plates!
-Yeah, but...
-Yeah.
Oh. [GROANS]
Funny what sudden wealth
does to some people.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Oh. I wonder why the dirt
never fits back in the hole.
Too bad there's no market
for mud.
-Yeah.
-You'd be set for life.
It's too bad we're not
as lucky as Mr. Dithers, huh?
He sold all of his lots
to the state for a freeway.
Mm-hmm.
Well, it's no use crying
over spilled oil.
[DAISY BARKING]
Daisy, it's no use.
There's no oil there.
[BARKS, GROWLS]
Daisy.
[BARKS]
[GROANS]
Hey, it's oil. It's oil. It's...
[LIPS SMACKING]
-Huh?
-By George! It is oil.
-Yeah.
-[DAISY BARKING]
Daisy...
Oh.
-What's that? Oh.
-Oh!
That's oil.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Hmm.
Stop now, Dagwood!
[♪♪♪]