02x09 - Roughing It With Ruff

[bunniefuu]

Hi. I'm Ruff Ruffman.

Notice anything different about me?

That's right! My nose, it's shinier.

Thanks to my nifty new purchase,

the instamatic nose bufferer.

[blubbering] See the difference?

I wouldn't go anywhere without it.

Oh, this was posted outside the doghouse?

It's an official building permit. [gasps]

It says my person's putting in a pool!

Awesome!

"Pool construction will necessitate

the demolition of the doghouse"?

I'm going to lose my home!

Don't worry, loyal viewers.

FETCH! with Ruff Ruffman will go on.

I'll just have to do it... in the woods.

Oh, I'll take only this field guide to edible plants.

And a spare pair of socks.

Oh, and, uh, this, uh, gourmet mustard.

And the bath sponge.

Look, you don't have to come with me, Blossom.

The conditions will be... What? Henry would want you to come?

Oh. Well, it was worth a sh*t.

Ah, we better take the Bark-O-Lounger, too.

Bye, old home!

Yikes! We forgot the FETCH !

Hey! Why, the door is locked.

[thunder][gasps]: Help!

RUFF: ♪ Life was missing its mystique ♪

♪ My squeaky toys had lost their squeak. ♪

And then, out of the blue, I saw the phone and bam!

My destiny was calling me.

[instrumental jazz playing]

♪ Pitched my vision for a show

♪ They loved it, thought I was a pro ♪

♪ They got my contract back to find ♪

♪ To their alarm, a dog had signed ♪

♪FETCH!♪Oh, I like that name.

♪With Ruff Ruffman♪

♪ I didn't wait to renovate

♪ Found six contestants, all were great ♪

♪ And now I'm on the road to fame ♪

♪ I've got a game show and its name is... ♪

♪FETCH!♪

It's very catchy.

♪With Ruff Ruffman♪

It rolls off the tongue.

Wait, stop.♪With Ruff Ruffman.♪

Somebody want to tell me why we got cats singing?

Funding forFETCH! with Ruff

And here come the contestants now!

He plays the clarinet

and the air clarinet, too-- Mike!

He can do a trick with his eyes that looks weird to his friends.

Willie!

Need someone to baby-sit?

Look no further.

He's even taken a class to learn how.

Rosario!

That's Indian potatoes, and a favorite food of Nina!

She loves animals so much, she wants to be a veterinarian.

Attagirl! Madi!

Not only does she love saving money,

she loves to brag about it.

Bridget!

Let's get an update on the scores.

In sixth place, Rosario with points.

Down a spot is Madi with points.

Up one spot to fourth is Willie with points.

Holding on to third, we have Bridget with points.

Nina still at number two with points.

Then holding on to number one, Mike with points.

[grunting]

[panting]: Hello, and welcome toFETCH!,

the reality game show so full of cold,

hard reality that even the talking canine host

might have to live out in the woods with just a pair of socks

and a loofah.

KIDS: What?!

What's a loofah?What? Oh, a loofah.

It's a type of bath sponge, you know?

It'll be important to keep clean

when I don't have a home anymore!

Why would you...?NINA: You have your doghouse.

My person, my owner, she's putting in a swimming pool.

That's awesome.That's great!RUFF: That's whatIthought!

However, when I saw the ground plan,

it's being built exactly where my doghouse is.How horrible!

Hey, doing the rest of the season outdoors'll be fun.

Whoo! Fresh air is good, right?KIDS: Yeah. Yes.

All right, well, it brings us to today's challenge.

All right!Yeah!

This challenge: Rough it for Ruff.

You'll learn the ins and outs on what I'll need

to do to move my headquarters

outside.

Now, this is Reggie.

He's ready to show you the ropes,

so don't keep him waiting.

Everything you need to know

is in the mailbox, so Rosario,

Madi, Nina, Willie, Bridget and Mike,

go fetch!

[chattering excitedly]

Bye, Ruff.RUFF: Bye, guys!

Good luck. Bring an extra loofah.

For the six kids out on the challenge today,

up to points are at stake in the Triumph Tally.

So what are we doing hanging out here?

Into the woods we go!

There are all these branches.

A tent.

KIDS: Hi! Hello!

How you doing?Good.

I'm just fixing up

a little late lunch.

Ooh, lunch?[kids groaning]

Oh, crispy crickets!

[loud thud]

Can we eat it?

You can eat any insects as long as it's six legs and under.

No, don't eat it!

[kids yelling]GIRL: Are they alive?

REGGIE: No, they're roasted.Tastes like peanuts.

REGGIE: Well, I'll tell you, maybe later on

after you get a little hungrier...

Is it real? ! Yeah, it's real. Sure is.

Aah! I can't eat anything with eyes.

[whimpers]

I'm a former United States Air Force survival instructor.

I trained air crew members how to survive

out here in the wilderness.

That's what I'm going to be doing.

We're going to be out here for two days.

What?What?

Two days?! I couldn't even survive

two minutes.

The first day I'm going to develop some wilderness survival challenges,

and how you perform in these challenges

is going to greatly impact your start time for tomorrow.

That's right: they need to train today

so they can prepare to be rescued tomorrow.

Question.Yes, go ahead.

Are we going to have to eat bugs?

Are we? 'Cause you know what?

Deal's off. I'll sleep in the street.

Fat and juicy one, Ruff.

When it comes to survival,

you need to know your priorities out here.

Every survivor does.

Do you think you can come up with maybe a couple of them?

Shelter.Shelter, yes.

Uh, food.Yes, that's two.

Water.Water, yes. That's three.

Fire.Fire.

Maybe gear, maybe?

Maybe signaling, which is part of your gear. Okay.

Clothes? You don't have to have clothes?Mmm...

Idon't wear clothes. [chuckles]

A lot of people don't get this one.

Number one: PMA.

Positive Mental Attitude.

You take care of your mind, what's the next thing

you need to take care of? Your body.

So I'm going to be asking you throughout this:

"Guys, how's your PMA?"

But I want to see some good PMA.

Positive Mental Attitude-- I don't have that yet.

Ready to learn a little bit of survival?Let's go!Yeah.

I want everybody to come over here,

and I've got some packs for you.

All right!

Let's go!

REGGIE: Now, these have

two water bottles inside them already.

RUFF: Red Team: Rosario, Nina and Madi.

And the Blue Team: Bridget, Mike and Willie.

Now that they've gotten geared up,

it's time to build shelter.

I need a home.

Now, you'll see I have lots of examples

of shelters here.Wait, what is that?

No cabin?

No comfy fireplace with a bearskin rug?

Build a shelter.

But before we even start building shelters,

we need to think safety.

So you want to look down first,

and make sure that everything's safe.

Once you've looked down,

then you look up.

What am I looking for up?Broken branches.

Broken branches, yes!Falling tree.

Okay, I wantmyshelter to be on flat ground.

And I certainly don't want any dead branches falling on me.

Now, there's certain things that you need

when you're building a shelter.

First you need a backbone.

Like this piece of line here.

Also, you want nice angles.

We want it as tight as possible.

See how loose this shelter is?

The water's going to pool here; it's going to flap around.

We need to make this material tight.

If you cut the material and then put your line through, it's going to rip, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.'Cause it's tight.

This is called "duff," and I take some of this duff,

and I just stuff it underneath my material.

RUFF: That stuff's called duff?

And I'm putting my line on,

and the tension...

is around a larger surface, called a "button."

So when we pull on it,

we can pull with greater force

and get these wrinkles out.

RUFF: Oh, yeah.

Now I can take my line,

and it's not going to go anywhere.

REGGIE: Who's going to get in there and try it?

He's living large.REGGIE: All right.

Okay, fetchers,Fantastic.

let's see which team can build a better shelter...

and the most accommodating to their humble host.

How's your PMA?

Yeah! It's good!

Okay, we have to look up and look down.

minutes!

I think we should do it here because the trees are...

MADI: Yeah, that'll be good, I think.

ROSARIO: Okay, let's clear everything out.

As you all know, most important thing first:

location, location, location.

We need a backbone.

We need to make it wicked tight, though.

That's nice and tight.

Limbo!

RUFF: Hey, no time for limbo, Nina.

BRIDGET: We should go the long way like this.

I got the stakes. Thanks.

RUFF: Blue Team has a backbone and their stakes are in.

And the Red Team hasn't built anything.

We need to make the backbone first.

Once I'm done this one, I'll start making the bed.

Making the bed-- that's easy.

Just bring a mattress, throw it out under there. Perfect.

We cannot afford to not make our shelter.

RUFF: Watch Willie's fingers there, Mike.

Okay.

RUFF: Come on, guys, getting dark.

Sun's going down!

Tie it to the rock. Tie it to the rock.Okay.

Hurry, guys.

NINA: Where is the rock?

Rosario, you have the rock.

MADI: What do you mean, where's the rock?

All right, I'll finish it right now.

You have to put...

It's okay. It's okay.

Five seconds.

RUFF: Five seconds!

MADI: We can't do this.

REGGIE: Four, three, two, one.

The challenge is over.

Stop what you're doing. Time's up.

Uh-oh, theirs isn't done enough.

I have a feeling we're not sleeping in this tonight.

ROSARIO: Yeah.

Well, I'm not sleeping in it at all.

I'm going to crash here in the Bark-O-Lounger...

for whatever time I have left on it.

Now we've just got to decide the winner.

And remember the three criteria?

The Fetchers' shelters need

to be safe, windproof and waterproof.

Did y'all think about safety first?

Yep.

So you looked up and then down?

Okay, these trees, are there any leaves?

No.

So you tied your shelter to two dead trees.

RUFF: Uh-oh.

But also, the Blue Team here,

with those dead branches up there,

I think you failed on safety, too, okay?

RUFF: Yikes, no one passed the safety test. Not good.

What about the rain?

Do you think the rain's going to...

Yeah, the Blue Team is...

Yeah, I think so, too.

I think if you got under there and it was raining right now,

I think you'd stay nice and dry.

RUFF: Excellent, both shelters are waterproof.

Let's talk about the wind.

Red Team, I think you failed on that one, too.

I think this one

is a lot tighter and I think it's going to ret*rd the wind.

RUFF: The Red Team's shelter is not windproof,

but the Blue Team's is.

So I think the winners of this challenge,

Blue Team.

RUFF: Blue Team wins the shelter challenge.

I'm going to put them in charge of building my new house.

Okay, survival challenge #: Time to build a fire.

You never want to start a fire without adult supervision,

unless you are in a real actual survival situation.

When you make fires,

you've got to think about the fire triangle.

You need three things to make the triangle. Three points.

Wood would be fuel.

Oxygen.

And some type of heat source.

And if you got those three,

you can start a fire, okay?

What we want is to collect three different levels of kindling.

Kindling?

What is that, a small kind person?

Oh, it's the fuel to start a fire.

Of course.

Thank you, Blossom.

Pencil-lead size.

Pencil-size and I want finger-size and bigger.

Now we need to talk about igniters.

Igniter, huh?

That's a tough one.

Aha, yes, it's the heat source to start a fire.

Two for two, Blossom.

What about this right here?

Yes, it has this imitation flint on here,

and it's set in a magnesium bar here.

Imitation flint?

I wonder if that's like imitation crab dip.

And when you put the steel on here and you scrape it down,

because of friction because this metal is scraping

against a softer metal that is ignitable;

so as long as you have some type of steel...

RUFF: Oh, did you see that spark?

it works every time. Look at that spark.

Now we need to start talking about tinders.

What's a tinder?

The material that you start the fire with.

Exactly, and a good tinder

is readily ignited with a spark.

Cotton, this is my favorite right here.

Let's light one of these cotton balls.

Wow.

ROSARIO: Whoa, that was quick.

Okay, nope, don't even need the dictionary.

Tinder is the fuel you use with the igniter, right?

Yes, ha-ha!

Wait a minute. I got some cotton here.

Uh, sorry, Bark-O-Lounger.

Remember the triangle with the oxygen?

If I set my first set of kindling right down there...

No, it would...

It's going to lose its oxygen.

That's why I have a brace.

I got my platform, and I put this stick right next to it.

Then I just set it down.

Now the flames are going to start licking through.

All right, now my fetchers should know how

to build their own fire.

This is y'all's challenge, okay?

You have minutes to make a fire.

I'm going to come over and I'm going to put a string up.

And the first one that can burn through the string

is going to be the winner.

Go!

RUFF: It's a race to build a campfire.

I need to know how to do this

because the forest doesn't have a microwave.

Five minutes!

Wait, does the tree have to be dead, guys?

Ow!

RUFF: It should be dead.

This is still alive.

Don't have nearly all that there.

We should put two out.

Just to make it sure.

Oh, sorry.

Bring over the tiny ones.

Let's go.

Got it. I got it. I got it.

Yes.

All right, good.

Brace, brace, we need the brace.

I got this.

RUFF: Okay, the brace is in the middle.

ROSARIO: -degree angle!

We got it. All right.

First one that can break that string.

Give it some oxygen.

Put a lot on.

Here.

RUFF: We have a winner.

[cheering]

Blue Team wins the fire-building challenge!

Two for two.

You know what?

They both worked hard.

I think I'll send them a text message with a treat attached.

Kids respond to treats, Blossom.

Write that down.

REGGIE: Well, guys, this is the end of the day.

We're going to sit around and enjoy the fire.

[phone rings]Who has the phone?

"I'm so proud of you guys that I got you a treat.

Check the food cache."Oh! What?

What? What? Oh!

REGGIE: Oh, what's up over there?

Let's go find out what's in the tree.

Awesome.

Awesome!

Thank you, Ruff.

Yeah, Ruff.

RUFF: Hey, nice, looking good, y'all.

S'mores!

[screaming]

Burn my graham cr*cker.

So you have graham cr*cker, marshmallow, chocolate

and then graham cr*cker.

Yep.

Oh! That is awesome. [laughing]

Excuse me.

Mmm.

I'm going to place a cricket

in my s'more. Oh.

Now I've got my protein.

Oh, that even makes it better.

ROSARIO: These are the best.

MADI: All right, I'm trying a cricket.

Two... One, two, three.

I can feel the legs in my throat.

I know, but just chew... Don't, don't. Chew.

Is it good?

Oh, Bridget, disgusting!

Whoo!

Well, good night, sleep tight

and watch out, bed bugs, these kids might bite.

[rooster crows]

Okay, day two.

It's the Ruff Country Rescue Race.

Both teams need to get

to three checkpoints hidden in the woods.

The first team to arrive at the final checkpoint

and signal a specially trained rescue squad wins.

Good luck, guys.

How's everybody doing?

Hey, Reggie.What's going on?

Did you get any rest?

Yes. Yeah.

'Cause you're going to need it today

for the ultimate challenge race.

RUFF: Now, because the Blue Team won yesterday,

they'll start five minutes ahead of the Red Team.

All right.

RUFF: Let's see how they do.

"Hop on the mountain bikes and pedal yourself down

Bear Pond Trail until you reach Checkpoint #."

So at the first fork, we'll take a right

and then we'll take a left. Okay.

And the Blue Team is off.

Around the mud puddle.

Who knows how deep that thing is?

Wow, they really need to pave these roads.

Okay, Red Team, it's been five minutes. Okay.

Here's your envelope.

"Jump in the canoe

"and paddle your way to Campsite .

"Once you land there, you must carry your canoe

to the Portage sign."

Map on back.

Okay.From here to here, all right.

Okay, let's go get life jackets.

Portage.

Oh, I know that one.

Oh, no, I don't.

Aha!

It's a path for carrying boats.

Good.

All right, guys, go, go, go.

You can make up those five minutes!

Come on, Rosario.

Ruff, this is fun. They're good drivers.

RUFF: It's fun for you. You're not paddling!

Okay, there.

RUFF: I'm going to be out there by myself

doing my own paddling.What?

That's where we're going. Look.

RUFF: Nice move around that rock, guys.

Michael! RUFF: Slow down, slow down, slow down.

Safety, safety, please, Fetchers.

MADI: It's wicked muddy.

It's bumpy, too.

Gets bumpier.

Guys, I think we're almost there.

RUFF: Easy, guys, don't run out of breath.

And go.All right, they've made it to the other end.

Nice job, Red Team.Here we go.

Sorry.

RUFF: They're at the Portage site.

Now we're done.

Now what?

We need a checkpoint.

ROSARIO: All right, we went to Port

so we go down this trail.

Remember, we've got to pace ourselves.

[shouting]

RUFF: Hey, here come the bikers.

Are you joking? Come on.

RUFF: Run, Red Team, run!

Come on, Nina, you can do it. Go, go!

Yeah, we did it!

Checkpoint one!

"Unscramble...

Eca..." something.

"It's the most important part

of a tent."Backbone.

Then text the answer to Ruff. Backbone.

Backbone.

RUFF: You got to send me a text.Oh, yeah.

Okay, got it.

Now you can open the envelope.

"Checkpoint # is at Balance Rock.

"Follow the trail up the mountain to get there.

Keep your eye on the orange markers and lead the way."

All right. So let's go.

I don't know if I can do this.

I've got to live out in the woods.

I've got to go up and down mountains.

Paddling boats, pedaling bikes?

Look, we're already here.

Most important...

Backbone. Backbone.Backbone, yeah.

All right. "Checkpoint #

"is at a Balance Rock.

"Follow the trail up the mountain. All right.

Orange markers that lead the way."

Orange markers. Okay, map on back. All right, all set.

Okay, Red Team has also made it to Checkpoint One.

There's a rescue team out there somewhere.

They're looking for my fetchers.

Come on, guys. Whoa! There's an intersection.

Which way, which way, which way?

We're going straight, so we go this way.

Right. This says Balance Rock.

All right, let's go!

I wonder how far behind we are.

Come on, Nina.

Nina? Nina?

Whoa! You all right?

RUFF: Wait a minute. What happened? Nina fell down.

Be careful.We have an injury.

Band-Aid, Band-Aid. What's this? Antibiotic.

Oh, it'll sting.

Band-Aid? Get an ambulance!

Put a Band-Aid over it.

Oh, that's better.

These kids are so much better than I am out in the woods.

Great job, guys.

All right, now I say everybody just sit down, relax and...

and when you get... Oh, they're going.

Oh, that is tough.

The point.

It's just to have fun.

We're supposed to get a thunderstorm.

Is that thunder? Oh, great. There goes my brontophobia.

Is that what I'm going to hear when I'm out there?

Guys, look! It's Checkpoint Two.

Blue Team makes it to Checkpoint Two!

Here's the clue.

All right, it says, "Use your mirror

and the sun to signal Reggie across the lake."

When he sees your signal, you'll receive your next clue.

Oh, there's the flag!

He's waving the flag!

All right, so...

Oh, we just got a message.

"Follow the red trail markers to Balance Rock.

The pulley holds the key."

All right.

Let's just follow the red markers, I guess.

All right.

The key might just help them signal the rescue team.

Aha!

That is definitely Balance Rock.

That is so cool.

Got to go to the left.

WILLIE: Oh, I think this could be...

Look, there's, like, bags.

Here, I... Like,

pull this.Check the bag, see if they can find a clue.

I feel something.Nope, I don't see it in here.

It's a piece of bark; not in here.

WILLIE: Hurry up, Michael. We don't have much time.

Guys, I found the key!Ah, key has been found.

"This is the final leg of the race.

"Hike down to Checkpoint Three.

"On your way, collect enough kindling in your packs

to start a small fire."

Well, I wonder what the key's for. I guess we'll find out

when we get down there.Yeah. Let's go, guys.

Now, they've done this-- they've built a fire--

so collecting kindling should be a piece of cake.

Look. [gasping]: They've already been here.

Red Team has made it.Come on, guys.

MADI: "Use your mirror and the sun to signal Reggie

across the lake at Campsite ."

Oh, there he is.RUFF: And here comes my text message.

I got one. You got one?

"Follow the red markers to Balance Rock.

Look for the pulleys that hold the key."

Red Team is ready to follow the red markers,

and away they go.

Wait, how do we know the rock's this way?

'Cause it says "Ruff Country Rescue Race."

[gasps]The red marker!

There's a red marker right there on that tree.

Wait, it's coming. It's coming.

Good catch.Ooh, I found it.

Yes.You found it.

Now they need to find Checkpoint Three.

Oh, and the rain's coming

and the rescue team doesn't know where they are.

I'm so nervous.

I need another s'more.

You know, I really shouldn't eat when I'm nervous.

Come on, you guys. Oh, yes.

Uh-oh, Mike's down. Oh, wait, no, he's up.

WILLIE: You're okay, right? You don't need any first aid?

He says he's fine.Safety first.

Man, my fetchers are tough.

We're almost there.

The lake!

Checkpoint Three!All right!

Hey, Reggie!

REGGIE: Fantastic.

All right, they've made it to Checkpoint Three.

Blue Team's still in the lead.

"Build a starter fire

and ignite the smoke signal that will get you rescued."

All right, come on.

Grass. Grass?

Now they have to make a fire.

And that green grass will make a lot of smoke.

Uh-oh, here comes the rain.

They've got to hurry up and build this fire.

They still need to signal the rescue team.

Now, don't forget, all you cats and kids out there,

don't try making a fire without adult supervision.

And here comes the Red Team.

All right, Red Team! Guys!

How you guys doing?

This is awesome.

WOMAN [over radio]: Rescue Team.

Blue and Red Team have been sighted.

Rescue team is en route.

Yeah! Rescue team is on the way.

RUFF: My fetchers have been rescued.

There's still hope for me.

ALL: Murray!

Murray?

How did you get on that rescue team?

And where did you get that hat?

Guess what, guys?

Yes, the Blue Team won,

but I think everybody is a winner here today.Yeah.

So Ruff, we're heading back to Studio G

and we'll see you there.

All right, Madi.

All right, g*ng.

Good job, both teams.

Head on back.

And here come six survivalists now.

Madi, Bridget, Willie, Mike, Rosario and Nina.

Welcome back, guys.

Yeah! Hey, Ruff.

That was so much fun. Thanks for the marshmallows.

Hey, it's the least I can do.

You guys are scouting out the area for me,

so that I could survive out there.

Let's give out some points, shall we?

ALL: Yeah!

All right, Willie, Bridget and Mike,

you were the Blue Team.

For figuring out how to make a fire and build a shelter,

points were at stake,

and you got points.

Yeah!Good job, guys.

Nice, guys.

For roughing it through the night,

another points.

Yeah!

Nice. Good job.

And points for b*ating the Red Team

in the Ruff Rescue Race.

Yeah!

For a grand total of points.

All right! Awesome job, guys.

You guys did so great.

Madi, Rosario and Nina,

you were the Red Team.

[hums dramatic music]

Now, now,

you were a little less lean,

a little less mean.

But... exactly.Hey, we tried.

You did finally build that fire and make a shelter,

so I give you also points.

Yeah!Good job.

And more importantly,

you did not leave one of your teammates.

Okay, here, a Band-Aid.

Oh, it'll sting.

You administered first aid, which was very important

and very awesome,

and you maintained positive mental attitude

during the Ruff Rescue Race.

For that, you get points.

Yeah!

Good job, guys.

And another points

for sleeping in the great outdoors

without getting devoured by wolves.

Yeah!

Nice job.

That gives you a grand total of...

Yeah!

Sounds good.

But, my fine young survivalists,

is that all the points a dog can give?

ALL: No.

What time is it?

ALL: Bonus points!

That's right, bonus point time, and I have five bonus points

for the contestants who I know will never starve in the woods

because they'll eat anything that chirps.

[cricket chirping]

That's right. What?

Rosario, Willie, Bridget and Mike, that means you.

[Mike laughing]

How tasty was that?

Which means, with points,

Willie, Bridget and Mike are

today's daily winners.

Yeah! Yeah!

Now then, I have here two tasty- looking burnt marshmallows.

Mmm, yummy.

Behind each overcooked marshmallow, there's a prize.

One of the prizes is really not very good,

but the other one isfabulous.

So what's it going to be?

Marshmallow "A" or Marshmallow "B"?

You going to go with "B"?I'll take "B."

You want to go with "B," Willie?Sure.

All right, you will find your prize in the mailbox.

Go, you guys.

Whoa. What?

Chocolate dipped insects.

Yeah!

I'm told everything tastes better dipped in chocolate.

I wouldn't know 'cause I can't have it. And with that,

we come to the close of another awesome episode

ofFETCH! with Ruff Ruffman.

I'll see you guys in the woods.

Bye.Bye, Ruff.

Okay, my first attempt at packing was a bust,

but now I know what I really need.

What? What is it?

A new doghouse identical to the old one

shall be built ten feet away?

Blossom, do you know what this means?

We don't have to move to the woods after all.

Not that I couldn't have lasted

a good year out in that wilderness.

Okay, okay, month. Day!



[Ruff scatting]

♪FETCH!♪

♪With Ruff Ruffman!♪

[Ruff scatting]

[meowing]

[barking]

[hissing]

[making various noises]

♪FETCH!♪

♪With Ruff Ruffman!♪

♪FETCH!♪