03x14 - Every Subpoena is a Tiny Hug

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola What the hell is that? My resignation letter.

You want to talk about it? God, no.

That's why I wrote you the letter.

Come in here.

God, can we not make a big thing out of this? It is a big thing.

You're quitting the family business.

No, I am exploring "new and exciting opportunities.

" What opportunities? I don't know yet, but I know they are new and exciting.

Thanks for doing this dinner.

No problem, sweetie.

I actually have some pretty big news
- to share.


- Did we not get the garlic knots?
- Oh, it's right there.


- Here.

Maybe you should eat one so we both have bad breath.

Good idea.

So, back to my news Oh, speaking of bad breath, Douglas, tell 'em about the gift I got you.

Mom got me a toothbrush.

With a Waterpik built in!
- Do those work?
- Oh, yeah! It's like a bidet for your mouth.

So, my thing Bob does not floss as much as I would like.

I have sensitive gums.

That's why flossing's important, Bob.

I got a job!
- Oh, my God!
- Hey!
- That's incredible!
- Christina, that's wonderful!
- Thank you.


- That's amazing.

Where are you working? It's an online company called Toesey Woesies.

Oh, no.

Are you selling pictures of your feet again? No! I'm the chief brand manager.

They brought me on board to take their footwear to the next level.


- Oh.


- That sounds like
- a great opportunity, Christina.


- Yeah.

Yeah, I
-I really feel like I'm a part of something special.

You know, right now, it's just eight of us working out of the boss's garage.

Garages are cool.

I love my garage.

Plenty of great companies have started out of garages.


- Apple.


- Mm
-hmm.

Other ones.

There is a lot of room for growth
- in a company like that.


- Yeah.


- That is what I said in my interview!
- Yes.

It's gonna be fine, honey.

Yeah, I
-I know it's gonna be fine.

I'm not worried.

Neither are we.

Oh, you know, there is one thing I knew it.

You got to show more than feet.

No.

Uh, Toesey Woesies sells socks.

So I'll be working for a competitor.

In a garage.

I wouldn't worry about that.


- We're proud of you.


- Mm
-hmm.

And no matter what people say, any job that makes a paycheck is a good gig.


- Yes.


- Well, actually, they're paying me in stock options.

That is terrible.

Poor Christina.


- What?
- This Toesey Woesies thing, I mean, who the hell's gonna pay $20 for a pair of socks? What's that printed all over them? It's either a kid with a weird head or a smiling taco.

Why would they put a d*sfigured child on a sock? Okay, it's a taco.

Still not worth 20 bucks.

This company's gonna go under in a month.

You never know.

People buy many stupid things on the Internet.

Like a little tiny vacuum for your car.

Do you want to sit in crumbs? 'Cause I don't.

Maybe I could throw some MaxDot business Christina's way.


- You are a good brother.


- Well, I'm not gonna let my baby sister dive headfirst into an empty pool.


- Mm
-hmm.


- Wait.

Toesey Woesies was on Shark t*nk.

Mm, not everyone on that show goes on to be successful.

They grossed $218 million last year! Really? Maybe they could send some business your way.

Tunde, I'm going out to run some errands.

Ah.

Have a wonderful time.

Are you going to be okay here by yourself? Oh, yes.

Because I will be doing a lot of this.

Have fun.

Oh, it will be t*rture without you, but, somehow, I will survive.


- Ah
-ah.


- Ebun.

Where have you been? Uh, running errands.

I came to see you.

I have been waiting nearly six hours.

Check your phone next time, dear.

For the love of God.

I'm sorry.

The day must have gotten away from me.

As did the dusting.

Did you notice your bedroom ceiling fan was filthy? No.

I have not inspected it lately.

Well, I did.

But do not worry I got right up on your bed and scrubbed it clean.

I had to hold her legs.

Why don't you answer your phone? I also ironed all of Tunde's shirts and bleached your filthy floors.

My floors were clean.

They were brown.

That was the varnish! Now that you are home, I trust that you have a plan for dinner.

Olu, you did not.

I did.

It is fine! It is my cheat day.

You have had a cheat lifetime.

Olu, since when do you neglect your household and your husband? Never, sister.

I will toss this out and make a home
-cooked meal.

Ah, no.

You do not want this food stinking up your freshly scrubbed kitchen.

I will take it to the dumpster on the street.

I might be a while.

"This bird may be flying, "but she will never forget where she was hatched.

Love, Christina.

" What a thoughtful gesture.

Oh, that's a rough
-looking kid.

It's a smiling taco.

Oh, the hair's cheese! That's cute! What's going on? Christina sent us socks from her little Internet job.

I have done some investigating, and it is a very successful company.

I know.

They grossed $218 million last year! I know! The box is also completely biodegradable.

You can eat it.

Don't eat the box.

Christina suggested the foot
-shaped packaging when she was here.

Are you sure? When she presented it, you said, "Honey, are you on something?" Doesn't sound like me.

Mom, to be fair, you were always sh**ting down her ideas.

Well, so were you.

Every time she opened her mouth, you'd groan.

This is why I keep my ideas to myself.

I would love to hear your ideas, Douglas.

I don't have any.


- Get her back.


- We can't do that.


- Why not?
- Well, number one, she's got her dream job now.

Number two, we already filled her position.

All right, new guy, what do you got? Well, I was thinking, perhaps, with every sock MaxDot sells, we donate a pair to people in need.

I call it "Care Pairs.

" Honey, are you on something? Whoever gave you this recipe is not your friend.

This is Mummy's recipe.

I do not think so.

Mummy's recipe is not runny.

It is not runny.

Run
-ny.

Tunde has barely even touched it.

Why are you not eating? Because I ate the Wendy's on the sidewalk.

Maybe if you had not been out all day, you would have had time to make a decent meal for him.

Thank you for your advice, sister.

Tomorrow, you should make braised goat with obe ata.

Not even you could ruin that.

That takes two days to make.

Well, we will start tonight.

I'm very tired.

How do you think I feel? I have done your work all day.

I did not ask you to do that.


- Someone had to.


- Yes, you are the perfect wife.

I am.

That is how I have kept my husband happy all of these years.

And yet you are 6,000 miles from him, with no plans to go back! Excuse me! I have this thing in the other room I have to go to.

I cannot believe this is how you treat a guest in your home.

Guest? I do not remember inviting you.

I do not need to listen to this.

You are as insulting and as tasteless as your stew! Maybe you would have preferred it be cold and bitter like you! Is it safe? It is safe.

Ah.

I have no idea why we don't do these mother
-daughter coffee dates more often.

I agree.

Now that we don't work together anymore, we can just be gal pals.

Sure.

Oh.

Sorry.

It's work.

Hey, is this an emergency? Then I'm gonna stop you right there.

I'm having coffee with my mother, so please give the report to my assistant and I'll circle back.

Okay, bye! Sorry, where were we? Boy, you've come a long way
- from the girl who sat in the yard eating dirt.


- Mm.

Yeah, I'm on iron pills now.

Whatever you did, it's working.

Mm.

Well, I had a very strong woman as a role model.

Thank you, honey.

I meant Abishola.

But of course you, too.

Well, I'm very proud of you.

Thank you, Mom.

Anyhoo If you could just sign this.

Well, what is it? Something to make sure that business doesn't get in the way of family.

It's just a silly little document that states any ideas you thought of at MaxDot are property of MaxDot.

I
-I don't understand.

It's very standard language.

You hated every one of my ideas when I worked there.

Honey, just because I hated them doesn't mean they're not mine.

They're not yours.

They came from my mind.

A mind which came out of my body.

Come on, you're a big girl now.

This is how business works.

I am not signing that.

You want to go that route, fine.

A cease and desist order? You like dirt let's play in the mud.

What are you doing? Just thinking about how I'm gonna die here.

Well, do it somewhere else.

That's the point, Bob.

There is nowhere else.

There's just these four walls, and they're closing in.

You got to stop drinking at work.

I'm not drinking.

I'm toasting.

To Christina, who found a way to escape.

You know, if you're really not happy here, you could leave and pursue something else.

I don't have the balls.

Yeah, me neither.

To Christina.

You know, when Dad d*ed, I had a choice stay in school or come help here.


- You picked wrong.


- I know I picked wrong.

Could've had a whole different life.

I would be the voice of the Toledo Mud Hens, calling all their games on AM radio.

That's a minor league team.

I'm a simple man, Douglas.

Hmm.

What about you? I'm here.

In every timeline, I'm here.

Yeah, sorry, buddy.

Usually when someone gets a new job, their family gives 'em an "attagirl," not an injunction.

Man, you rich people love to sue each other.

Well, I can tell you, I do not love this.

Your mother is just trying to scare you.

Why? She should be happy.

Happy that her daughter no longer needs her?
- Don't be stupid.


- Well, I'm sure you wouldn't do something like that to your children.

I would destroy my son's career if it meant he would talk to me again.

She's the wrong person to ask about family stuff.

I'm proud of you.

Leaving MaxDot was very brave.


- Now my mom hates me.


- Mm
-mm.

She doesn't hate you.

What she hates is that you got away.

And that you are succeeding without her.

And not appreciating all the hard work that she put into you.

And the sacrifices that she made.

Like staying in a loveless marriage so you could have a roof over your head.

Yeah, that's not really my story.

It is all you ungrateful children's stories.

Wait, so, in a weird way, she doesn't hate me.

She's jealous of me.

Jealous? Why would she be jealous of you? You are successful because of her! Stupid, ungrateful children.

I think you're onto something.

Ha! Jealous.

Idiot.

E kaasan, sister.

Make your apology and go.

I have to re
-mop these floors.

Bob's cleaning lady uses organic products.

She may as well do nothing at all! I am not here to apologize.

You insulted me in my own home.

Only after you almost k*lled me with that runny soup.

It was stew.

It was soup! Do you know why I left Nigeria? Because Tunde was going to take another wife.

His family were forcing him to.

Because I could not produce children.

I said many prayers for you.

And God sent many blessings.

Tunde and I are happy here.

Away from the judgment of others.

We do not judge you.

We pity you.

And I pity you.

Eh
-eh! Me? I have done everything right.

And yet you are still not happy.

I am very happy! I suppose you are so happy you do not want this.

What is this? A movie ticket.

Maybe, instead of scrubbing floors, you could have fun with your sister.

Does this movie have Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? I think they all do.

It is the middle of the day.

What will people say? Ah, we are old.

We do not get judgment.

We get discounts.

Hello? I have Christina Wheeler for Bob Wheeler.


- Uh, okay.


- Please hold.

Hold? You called me.

Hey, Bob.

Thanks for taking my call.

Is Mom with you? Yeah, we're all about to start the sales meeting.

Oh, perfect.

Can you put me on speaker? Christina would like to talk to everyone, and, apparently, she's got an assistant now.

Can everyone hear me? You sound wonderful.

Did you have a chance to think about our proposal? I did.

And I just want to thank you for suing me.


- We're suing her?
- No.

We're threatening to sue her.

This is why I can't leave.

I'm not a loser I'm a prisoner.

This lawsuit has shown me that you respect my talents.

Why would you sue her? Because she loves and misses me, Bob.

All right, you found out about my dirty little secret.

Now come back.

Aw, I can't.

You know, seeing the lengths that you would go to for my ideas was the validation I needed.

Every subpoena is a tiny hug.

Bobby, she's not afraid of me anymore.

Do something.

Ch
-Christina, I'm still playing catch
-up, but we do miss you here.

If you come back, we'll give you a raise.

Uh, how about a raise for the people that stayed loyal? Excellent question, Douglas.

And now you're throwing money at me? Mm.

My heart is full.

Well, this has been great, but I got to go.

Fly away, little bird, fly! Don't you hang up, Christina.

We're not through talking
- about this!
- I'm sorry.

Ms.

Wheeler is no longer available.

Would you like to schedule another time? I have Thursday at 3:00 p.

m.

That works for me.

There is hardly anybody here.

That is why I come during the day.

The theater is mine.

Here, have some popcorn.

I did extra butter.

If we eat it now, there will be none left when the movie starts.

There are free refills.


- No.


- Yes.

Surely it is to make us thirsty and purchase more drinks.

There are free refills on drinks as well.

It is as if we are stealing from them.

This truly is a country of fools.

Hold this.

Eh
-eh.

What are you doing? Changing your life.

Mmm! I jumped once during a scary movie and invented this wonderful snack.

Can I tell you a secret? Of course.

My husband has not called the entire time I have been in Detroit.

Do you want to talk about it? No.

That is the great thing about movies For a little while, you can just sit in the dark and forget.