02x09 - as*ault on Pancake Palace

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Captain's report.

It's been days since our ship crashed

onto this primitive planet,

and although the locals seem harmless enough,

their source of nutrition is quiet the opposite.

In fact, it may be downright fatal.

I'm gonna starve here!

Something amiss, young Master Benjamin?

There's nothing to eat in this awful place.

Medieval stuff is boring!

How can one resist the charms of Pancake Palace?

Because pancakes are gross!

I told you we should've gone to Way Out Waffles instead!

Who wants to be stuck in the Dark Ages of breakfast

when you can have alien-abduction bug-eyed waiters?!

And if you agree to their experiments,

all the crispy, crunchy,

mind-bogglingly delicious waffles of the fourth kind

an abductee could ever ask for!

[ Laughs maniacally ]

[ Sighs ] Waffles are more

than just breakfast food, Grandpa.

They're a path to a better tomorrow.

Aye, but today is not about thine path, Ben.

Today we marshal support for our kin

as she wages w*r for the glory and good name

of the House Tennyson!

The pancake-eating competition is starting!

[ Fanfare plays ] Today are the finals

for the Feudal Flapjack Feast, hosted by Pancake Palace!

An impressive party of combatants

have gathered this year.

A mighty fine turnout indeed, Steve.

[ Chuckles evilly ]

Eee-yah!

Yah, yah, yah, yah, yah, yah, yah!

Oh, there's Gwen! Greetings, warrior!

I am the pillager of pancakes!

[ Cheers and applause ] Raaaah!

Oof. Huhhh.

STEVE: Say, Bill, what glories and accolades

are bestowed on the victor of this august competition?

BILL: A lifetime supply of pancakes!

These are Pancake Palace's famous flapjacks.

Created using the fabled secret recipe

conjured up by the wizards of the kitchen,

the secret list of ingredients has been protected

by the Mighty King Brunch for centuries!

Look, Bill! It's -- It's --

Your Majesty.

His Royal Highness King Brunch, everyone!

Ho ho ho ho! Who's hungry?

The competition rules are simple -- eat!

The last one standing will be proclaimed the champion!

And now for the King's blessing!

Breakfast is served!

We're set for some amazing eating action today!

We can see that Sir Crepe is up to his old tricks,

using the classic dunking technique.

Oh, my. And look at the Pillager,

showing no mercy to her opponents or her pancakes!

Yah!

The hammer technique by The Blacksmith --

very period-appropriate.

[ Grunts ]

[ Arrow twangs ]

Wow! An amazing display by Rhobyn Food!

Say, what is The Executioner doing?

He seems to be using some sort of mystical

absorption apparatus!

I believe that's called a straw, Bill!

Something isn't right about The Executioner.

How does he eat so many pancakes with a straw?

Wrong question.

It should be, "How does he eat pancakes at all?"

Ben, it might be worth checking out.

Wait. The sooner it's over,

the sooner we're out of this nightmare!

Mission accepted. [ Beeping ]

[ Grunts ] Now to get closer.

[ Giggles ]

Look at those fraudulent flapjack fiends!

Are you seeing this, Steve?!

As clear as day, Bill. I have the same view as you!

[ Slurping ]

Well, what do we have here?

He's not eating the pancakes.

He's funneling them through a tube?

Who would bow so low for a lifetime supply of awful?

Only one way to know. Follow the goo.

Ugh!

[ Laughs ]

Finding the culprit will be a piece of cake.

Or should I say, "Piece of pancake"?

[ Giggles ]

Oof! Ugh.

Storage room? The plot thickens.

Huh?

[ Splurting ]

What is that monstrosity?!

What's the matter? Don't you like pancakes?!

Maurice! Only you would make a machine

that turns pancakes into something even more disgusting!

Yeah, well, what can I say?

Trashin' is my passion.

Feast your eyes on my crowning achievement, Tennyson --

the Infestoids!

[ Snarling ]

As we speak, Sydney is feeding a constant supply of pancakes

into the tube, fueling my Infestoid maker!

Soon I will have hundreds of them at my command,

and once I get my hands on that king's recipe,

my supply will be endless!

Oh, no! The Omnitrix! [ Beeping ]

Huh? Wait. This is a good thing!

Ew! Back off, flapjerk!

Hey, Maurice, you sure you thought this through?

Hot pot of coffee!

That's right, Benny boy!

You stomp one Infestoid, I have thousands to take its place --

or in this case, ,!

[ Laughs evilly ]

BILL: Oh, what a shame.

Looks like The Blacksmith is calling it a day.

BEN: Monsters! They're monsters!

The pancakes are monsters!

[ Slurping ] We get it, Ben!

[ Munching ] You don't like pancakes!

No need to call them names!

No! Actual monsters! [ Infestoids snarling ]

Yah!

[ People screaming ]

That's right! Cower before the all-powerful Maurice!

And now, Your Majesty, it's time to surrender that recipe!

Oh, no! Oh, my kingdom!

Okay, Executioner!

It's just you and me now!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Some sort of tiny, spell-casting man-roach

is laying siege.

But it doesn't seem to be stopping

The Pancake Pillager and The Executioner.

They're going for glory.

Ugh! Drowning in pancakes!

This can't be the way I go out!

Don't worry, Ben! Ugh!

I'm comin' for ya!

[ Grunting ] [ Gasps ]

We should have gone to Way Out Waffles!

[ Grunting ] Waffles can wait.

Don't you think it might be time

to dialeth up an alien, young squire?!

[ Splurt! ]

The "Ye olde" accent is not working.

Wait. What?! Grey Matter again,

but this time, supersized!

I do respect the crown,

but I must insist you hand over your recipe

before I'm forced to go medieval on your head!

Oh! [ Laughs evilly ]

Infestoids, off with his -- Aah!

Not so fast, Mer-lame!

So it's a duel you want, huh?

Guess I'll just have to dress the part.

[ Whistles ]

[ Snarling ]

[ Grunts ]

Ew! How are you doing that?!

The king's special recipe was the only medium

with the perfect viscosity

to create thousands of ever-replicating Infestoids!

Yah! Whoa!

My Infestoids can mold into any shape I command.

With them, I'll cr*ck into every locked safe on the planet.

Gold, money, jewels --

mine for the taking! [ Laughs evilly ]

Huh? Aah!

[ Swords clanging ]

Aaaaaah! Wah!

Let's see your pancake pests help you with that!

[ Laughs evilly ]

You still don't get it, do you, Tennyson?

As long as Sydney keeps fueling my mischief-maker

with pancake mix,

no matter how many times you cut me down,

more Infestoids will take their place,

making me unstoppable!

[ Swords clang ]

Do you see it now?

An endless supply of pancakes

means an endless supply of power!

Not if we cut off your supply! Aah!

Grandpa, the tube! Get the tube!

Hah-aah!

Grandpa!

Cut-eth the ding-dang-eth tube!

The tube! Oh!

Odds bodkins! That varlet is cheating!

You've been de-tubed!

Shame!

The Infestoids are slowing down.

Sydney! We've cut you off.

I see.

Then I guess it's time to get cooking.

Looks like The Executioner is having some trouble.

If he doesn't keep eating,

he will be disqualified from the competition.

I'd say King Brunch will have his life disqualified

if that pancake wizard gets him.

It's over, Maurice!

Huh? Sorry. No more time for swashbuckling.

Good, 'cause I'm not here to swashbuckle.

I'm here to kickbuckle!

Whoa! Impressive.

Aah!

You going to come quietly?

Never! Yah! Take that!

Not another step, Tennyson --

not unless you want poor King Brunch here

to lose his head.

Do what he says, please!

Fine. Maurice...

there.

That's right! I'm the king now!

Bow, Tennyson. Bow before your new --

BILL: It looks like The Executioner

is refusing to eat any more of his pancakes.

I think you're right.

We may be witnessing the end of the competition.

The Executioner is terrified by the sight of his pancakes!

GWEN: What's wrong, Sydney?

Don't like pancakes?

[ Munching ]

[ Fanfare plays ] The Executioner is out!

Pancake Pillager has taken the title!

That lunkhead can't do anything right!

Doesn't matter! All I need is the recipe,

and I can make as many pancakes as I need.

Open the chest.

[ Beeping ] Come on. Think fast!

What would a swashbuckler

in one of those sword-swinging movies do

at a moment like this?!

[ Gasps ] Bingo!

Finally!

[ Grunts ] Have at thee, bug breath!

Hah! [ Whip! Zoom! ]

Ugh!

Ohh!

[ Beeping ] Ha ha ha!

Our precious Pancake Palace is safe once again,

thanks to two very heroic champions,

Sir Ben...

and Lady Gwendolyn!

You couldn't eat one pancake?! What's wrong with you?!

Ugh.

I never want to see another pancake again.

Oh, that was epic, you guys!

As the great Bard once said, "Awesome!"

Okay. Gwen chose this place,

so I choose the next place, right?

That seems fair. Ben, no.

Captain's report.

After a successful mission on the hideous Pancake Planet,

I can finally eat a delicious meal --

waffles!

Thank you. I couldn't let your heroic efforts go unrewarded.

You sure you don't want any, Gwen?

Waffles stink. What?! Waffles are amazing!

They have everything you need in a breakfast food.

I just ate over pancakes.

pancakes, and you don't even have room

for one small bite of a delicious waffle?

And you call yourself a champion?!

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