02x10 - High Stress Express

[bunniefuu]

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♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

Ha! b*at your high score again! What am I not good at?

Nothing. The answer is "nothing."

Whatever. The news is talking about the Rocket Express!

Transcontinental Railways is testing

it's first high-speed b*llet train today --

the "Pacific Pegasus."

Ooh, that is one doozy of a name, Carol.

Ha ha, yes!

The Pacific Pegasus will be traveling today

up the coast from Santa Monica to San Francisco.

Well, don't let my mother-in-law know,

or she'll be over every weekend.

[ Forced laugh ]

Wow! How fast do you think it's going?

Pftt! Not as fast as XLR.

I could b*at that train any day.

Who races a train?

These back roads through orange groves

will lead us right along the train's route.

If we're lucky, we should be able

to get a glimpse of it before it reaches San Francisco.

Transcontinental is also hoping to take

the new world record for fastest land vehicle.

World record?!

That's like an ultra-mega high score!

I bet XLR could take that record!

XLR's not a vehicle.

What are you talking about? He has wheels.

The world record for fastest land vehicle

is currently held by international

race-car driver, Mr. Luh -- Lay...

Robert: Uh, Legs-Angey? That's a tough one.

-Lasagna? -[ Groans ]

[ French accent ] It is pronounced "LaGrange"!

Hmm, that doesn't look good.

I hope he's not a sore loser, 'cause nothing is gonna

stop this train from taking the record.

[ Growls ]

Get out of my way!

[ Engine revs ]

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Grunts ] Jumping junipers! You kid's all right back there?

We're okay, Grandpa!

[ Grunts ] Better than okay!

I've got the high score in okay!

Call me crazy, but that looked like LaGrange's car.

It had to be. He probably doesn't want

the train to b*at his record.

So that means...

We have to stop him! We have to race him!

Not happening. You're right.

The Rustbucket is too slow,

but I know a cool blue alien that isn't. [ Laughs ]

I'm going to ignore that comment about the Rustbucket.

But don't you think we should be making sure

LaGrange doesn't hurt anyone with his reckless driving?

Yeah. But in order to stop him, I got to race him.

The world record is just a little bonus.

[ Whirring ]

♪♪

They think that train is fast...

wait till they get a load of me!

Ben, for the last time, you're not a vehicle.

[ Sighs ] Wheels!

Besides, the train is extremely fast.

I don't think-- And he's gone.

Why does he always do that?

I've learned to just accept it.

Hey, a news chopper!

Looks like I'll have an audience for my victory party.

Let's see how fast XLR can go!

[ Groaning ]

Robert: Breaking news, Carol!

There have been multiple reports

of an aggressive driver heading for the Rocket Liner.

[ Chuckles ] I guess he didn't get the memo --

that's the fastest train in the world.

I'm the fastest train in the world -- I mean driver!

[ Growls ]

[ Engine revs ]

[ Grunts ] This pathetic excuse for a vehicle

is actually out-running me?!

[ Screaming ]

Ha! You think you've got me b*at,

but I am just getting started.

Getting started on what? Losing?

Tennyson!

I already have that metal trash can

trying to take my title.

I do not need you getting in the way, as well.

You mean my title!

That world record is gonna be mine!

Right after I stop you!

Ha! With what vehicle, you slowpoke?

Wheels! [ Horn blares ]

[ Screams ] Wheels!

Get out of the way!

[ Laughs ] What a coward!

Can't handle a little excitement?!

[ Scoffs ] You are no more than an annoyance.

The train, however, it will not get my title

if it is split in two.

Is that a laser cannon? Whoa!

This guy is nuts.

Got to take out his toy.

[ Grunting ]

That was very expensive!

Uh, don't care.

Time for a change in strategy.

Wha -- what?

[ Screaming ]

You're willing to put all these people in danger

just to keep your title?

Winning is all that matters.

I'll do whatever it takes to stay number one.

You'd better start getting used to being number two.

Ha! You cannot stop me and save the people.

Oh, yeah? Watch me.

Robert: Are those missiles lodged into the train?

This doesn't look good.

-Whoa! -Those aren't fireworks

you're seeing, folks.

Yes. For anyone just tuning in, what looks like

a mutant roadrunner is now attempting

to dislodge expl*sives from the Rocket Liner Express.

This is getting serious.

Is there any way we can catch up with them?

Don't underestimate these back roads.

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Grunts ]

That's the last of 'em.

Now to take that cheater's title.

[ Grunting ]

[ Panting ]

Oh. Come on. Come on!

Oh, you seem to be running out of gas, Tennyson.

Allow me to offer you some roadside assistance.

[ Grunting ] Ha, ha!

[ Grunts ] Oh.

Oh. A stowaway.

I believe this is your stop.

Whoa!

According to this, Ben and the train are --

[ Gasps ] Right there.

Hold on.

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Tires squeal ]

I almost had him!

This isn't a race, Ben. People are in danger.

And it's gonna be hard to catch up now.

Even XLR was struggling. What can we do?

Maybe it's not about the wheels of the car

that matters, but the engine.

Uh, I mean. Well, yeah.

I got it. Let's see LaGrange b*at this.

♪♪

[ Ding ]

♪♪

Ooh, yeah.

Whoo!

Whoops. Gah!

Probably should have gone outside first.

This is fine.

You're not even a vehicle now.

Where are Heatblast's wheels?

[ Chuckles ] Don't you worry.

You're sittin' on 'em.

What?! Oh, no!

[ Grunts ]

Whoa!

[ Grunts ]

[ Screaming ]

Carol: Ooh, Robert, it looks like our high-speed racer

is still struggling to keep up with the Rocket Express.

Hmm. Time to take this race off the track.

[ Laughs ]

[ Screaming ]

Huh?

[ Screams ]

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Laughing ]

Just a couple more like that.

Huh? A mobile home keeping up with me?

How?

Come on, LaGarbage.

[ Screaming ]

You dare to disrespect the great LaGrange --

racing against me with that hunk of garbage?

Garbage? I already let one slide today.

Don't insult the Rustbucket.

I hope you have your A/C on

because I'm about to bring the heat.

[ Grunts ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Muttering in French ]

[ Growls ]

No! My record! I have to play my final card.

[ Engine revs ]

Come on, come on!

Almost there.

Impossible!

Gwen: Ben, slow down!

The Rustbucket can't take much more of this!

Winning is the only thing that matters.

LaGrange: Winning is the only thing that matters.

No, no, what am I doing?

[ Grunting ]

Well, that's enough excitement for one day.

[ Screams ] Are you guys okay?

We're fine, but what about LaGrange?

-Huh? -Now there is nobody in the way.

I am the fastest.

I am the greatest!

I am LaGrange!

[ Laughing ]

[ Loud clang ] What was that?

[ Screams ]

No!

[ Crashing ]

Oh. Ooh.

Start, start. Oh, come on!

[ Grunts ]

Huh? No. I will not lose.

[ Grunts ]

Hey. You gonna get out of the car, buddy?

There's a train coming.

Uh, no, go away. I do not need your help.

I do not need anyone's help.

And I can still win this race.

Your car is totaled, you threatened the lives

of innocent people, and all for some stupid title.

Face it, LaGrange, the race is over.

Now come on. [ Grunts ]

My door! My car!

Looks like the only car you're gonna need

to worry about is in-car-ceration. Ha!

How far would you go to catch your train?

That's what authorities ask, as the Rocket Liner

barely made it to its destination today

after a series of att*cks by a psychotic train enthusiast.

While they'll be cleaning up the wreckage for a while,

authorities say they're thankful that nobody was hurt.

The perpetrator was revealed to be La -- La -- Log Ranch?

Is that a typo?

Log Ranch, the previous record holder

for fastest land vehicle.

Folks will rest easy knowing he's behind bars.

I am the fastest racer of all time. I am LaGrange!

Together: Oh! LaGrange.

Um, hello? College French, can I get my money back?

[ Laughs ] Anyway, authorities are still

on the lookout for the mysterious blue hero

that dislodged dangerous bombs, saving the train.

The police have released this sketch

based on the helicopter footage.

If you would like to claim your award,

or if you have any information,

please contact their offices at...

You know, I'm surprised you didn't jump at the chance

to receive an award.

Yeah. After all that, I figured you'd want something.

Well, I realized I didn't need an award.

I got so wrapped up in winning earlier,

I forgot that I have something better than a world record.

Aw, Ben.

Like family?

Nope, my high score in "Sumo Slammers."

I wouldn't celebrate so fast.

What?! Let me see that.

Huh? , points?

N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

♪♪

Get out of my way!