03x04 - Mr. Ruffman Goes to Washington

[bunniefuu]

[off-key]: ♪ And Bingo was his name-o.

Hi! I know what you're thinking.

I'm good enough to record my new album:

Uncle Ruff Sings Folk-Dog Favorites.

But not now, 'cause it's time for a break.

How do I enjoy my breaks?

By reading any books Blossom has lying about

while eating a long piece of licorice.

Get your own piece, Chet.

Books, books... Ah!

"Quaint Local Laws.

Laws still on the books whose time has come and gone."

Ha! Sounds good for a laugh.

"'Tis against the law

for any canine breed to play the violin..."?!

"or eat licorice..."?!

"or wear ridiculous bathrobes"?!

Blossom, look at the things against the law.

What?! " days in the pound for any dog found hosting a show

"encouraging humans to...

[gasps] ...fetch"?!

Don't worry, Blossom.

My local representative will take care of this.

[phone beeps]

Hi, I want to be connected to the local dog officer

for canine-human affairs, please.

There is no local dog officer for canine-human affairs?

Very interesting.

Chet!

RUFF: ♪ Life was missing its mystique ♪

♪ My squeaky toys had lost their squeak ♪

And then, out of the blue, I saw the phone and bam!

My destiny was calling me.

[instrumental jazz playing]

♪ Pitched my vision for a show

♪ They loved it, thought I was a pro ♪

♪ They got my contract back to find ♪

♪ To their alarm, a dog had signed ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪Oh, I like that name.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

♪ I didn't wait to renovate

♪ Found six contestants, all were great ♪

♪ And now I'm on the road to fame ♪

♪ I've got a game show and its name is ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪

It's very catchy.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

It rolls off the tongue.

Wait, stop.♪ With Ruff Ruffman. ♪

Somebody want to tell me why we got cats singing?

RUFF: And here come the contestants now!

Her nickname's "The Spiller,"

'cause she knocks over liquids.

Does he get egg-static over eggs?

Does he think they're egg-cellent?

No!

He has seasonal allergies.

[sneezes]Oh, gesundheit.

She likes soft rock.

Geologists would say there is no soft rock.

What would embarrass him most?

If he had a shaved head.

Her aunt calls her Noely-Boely with a Smelly Belly.

Let's get an update on the scores.

Still stuck in the basement with points-- Sammy.

Harsha drops down to fifth place with points.

DJ's in fourth place with points.

Noel climbs up to the three spot with points.

Jay is in second place with points.

And Sam holds on to the lead with points.

Hi, Ruff Ruffman here,

in Studio G with my Season Three FETCHers.

How you guys doing today?

Good! Good! Good, Ruff!

I am glad you're here today.

I've got bumper stickers in the mailbox.

I made thousands of them.

So, Sammy, you're up front.

Go into the mailbox, get the bumper stickers out.

Okay. We have bumper stickers.

What do they say?What do they say?

What I want you to do is to take them

and put them on your bicycles,

put them on your parents' car...

anything you can stick them on.

They stick to anything.

This is sticky on the wrong side.

What do you mean?

If I want to, like, stick this on a car,

I'll have to stick it like that, 'cause that's the sticky side.

But you can't read what it says.

Well, wait a minute. Then you can't see anything.

Exactly.

Okay, we have a small problem.

Uh, Blossom, how much more money do we have

in our campaign w*r chest?

[buzzing] RUFF: Oh...

So why do you even need these bumper stickers?

Because I'm running for office!

Cool!That's awesome.

The office doesn't actually exist yet,

which is probably why I'm the only one running.

But I'm not taking any chances.

If I lose, then FETCH! could be shut down.

Oh, no!That's not good.

Yes, there's a law in the books from the s

which prohibits dogs from coming up with games for humans.

Well, I promise, if elected, to usher in a new era

of canine-human understanding.

Will you guys help me?

Of course. Sure.

Challenge number one:

This is Splash.

What if I told you that this was Splash Kennedy?

Oh, that's right...What?

...it's Senator Ted Kennedy's dog.

Splash knows a thing or two

about working for the government.

So, Sam, there are important people waiting for you

in the nation's capital.

Your plane ticket and instructions are

in the mailbox.

Go... FETCH! Bye! Bye!

Now, guys, there's a big parade coming up.

It's a great campaign opportunity,

and I'd be there except...

my person just put in a new invisible fence.

[grunts]

Not being able to leave your dog house--

not the most helpful thing for a politician.

Which is why I bring to you challenge number two.

This is John, and he's waiting for Sammy,

Noel and DJ.

Everything you need to know is in that mailbox.

So go... FETCH!Awesome!

Awesome.

Bye-bye, guys.See you guys.

As determined by the FETCH ,

Jay and Harsha have stayed behind in the studio this week.

But... they'll be eligible to win points during the...

And not only do I promise

free parking to dogs on Thursdays,

I also promise the...

All the contestants will have competed

for the same number of points by the grand finale.

For the four kids out on the challenges,

up to points are at stake in the Triumph Tally.

So I vote for...

Sammy, DJ and Noel.

RUFF: All right, here come my FETCHers.

John? John?

John! Hello! Is there a John in here?

I'm John. Come on in.

Welcome to the Macy's parade studio.

This is where everything is designed and built

for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Ruff Ruffman called me this morning.

He thinks the best way to get the word out about his election

is to have a parade float.

And he wants you guys to build a float for him

and it's got to be ready for a parade

that's going to be coming next week.

That's awesome!

First we got to get you suited up.

Ruff sent you some special jumpsuits.

Ruff, these suits are way too small.

Whoops! Heh-heh.

Well, how about wearing one of the parade shirts.

Oh. I think there's a float technician in there somewhere.

Yeah, there she is.

Technician-- I like the sound of that.

What's that, Blossom?

You have Splash on the line?!

Hey! Splash!

I'll come right to the point.[Splash whines]

I'd like you to be my campaign manager.

Okay, you don't have to answer now.

But let me run this by you.

I'm working on a song for my campaign.

I'll sing you a little bit just for taste.

[operatically]: ♪ Vote for Ruff...

♪ Ruffman!

No? Yes?

Wait, Splash?

Where are you going?[whimpers]

Was it my singing?

[barking]

Oh, you're late for a meeting.

Well, hey, Splash, thanks for setting up

that meeting with Sam and Senator Kennedy.

You think about that job offer now.

Okay, now we can check in on Sam.

Oh, Washington, D.C.

I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

No, Blossom, your lump is a hairball.

Hey, I'm Sam from FETCH! with Ruff Ruffman.

I'm here to see Senator Kennedy.

Sam, the senator's been expecting you.

You can come wait in his office.

RUFF: "The senator has been expecting you."

Well, well!

We're actually in Senator Kennedy's office!

I sure hope I can get an office like this

when I'm elected.

What?

JOHN: And this is where we start from a sketch.

In order to build something,

you have to do a lot of very specific drawings

that are drawn to scale.

This one happens to be / inch equals one foot,

which means that every half-inch in the drawing

equals a foot.

I've got the sketch that Ruff sent me

and I think we should start talking

about how we're going to build that.

Yep, before you build, you got to plan it out.

Maybe we should figure out

the perimeter of the bottom of the float.

How big we want it to be.

JOHN: Now, Ruff, in the drawing, is just in two dimensions.

But I think for a float,

we want it to look like three dimensions.

We would have to do a sculpture,

so that Ruff would look kind of like a giant statue.

RUFF: A giant statue...

of me...

Ruff Ruffman.

We carve them out of foam.

And the way you go about making a sculpture,

is you want to see it in various views.

RUFF: Oh, nice.

JOHN: Did you ever realize just how small his feet are?

And look at your stomach, Ruff-- it's huge.

Yes, let's stare all day long at my stomach.

This is what Ruff looks like from the front.

So part of our challenge is to marry those together,

and then sculpt out all of the rest of his body.

All floats have got to be built so they're structurally sound.

And what that really means

is to make sure that Ruff doesn't tip over.

Now, what do you think's going to happen

with these small feet?

He's going to wobble over.

If Ruff was only this tall and he had feet like that,

he wouldn't wobble over, right?

Because he's this tall, it makes him want to wobble.

Well, wait a minute, now.

I mean, I know I got small feet,

but I keep my balance well.

Ooh, ah, ah!

That was conveniently timed.

JOHN: This is physics.

The physics I was talking about

is called a moment.

And this long part

is called the arm.

And the longer the arm, the greater the strength is

on the moment.

If we only have these small feet, what could we do

to make sure that it's a little bit stronger at the bottom?

We could put, like, a support down here

so, like, all the weight is just distributed,

um, on the bottom.

If we don't cut this out,

what do we do to make sure that it doesn't look funny?

Hide it with the flowers or the grass.

I think that's exactly the right thing to do.

Good ideas, kids.

Who knew there was so much science in float building?

Hi, Sam.

I'm Ted.Nice to meet you.

Oh, man, it's Senator Kennedy!

Wow!

So Ruff sent me here.

Ruff did?

He's actually running for, um, an elected position.

He is?Yeah, he wants me

to find out what it's like to be a senator.

Well, I don't want

to give him too many secrets.[chuckles]

You know, I don't want Ruff to run against me.

RUFF: Well, I don't think

you have anything to worry about there, Senator.

I'm running for an entirely different office.

What's it like to have

the responsibility of being a senator?

Well, it's a, it's a great honor.

You know, people in Massachusetts would elect you

to represent them.

My brothers were in the Senate.

They set a high standard, both for me and for public service.

So I always try

to live up to their, uh, standards.

Well, I will try to do the same, sir.

KENNEDY: One of the things that we're

interested in, in education.

Can you give me a little help?

Oh, yeah, definitely.You get me?

We're trying to make a decision about

extending the school day.

Some people think it's a good idea,

and some people are not so sure it's a good idea.

So I want you

to talk to people, such as...

the Secretary of Education.

RUFF: Ah, Margaret Spellings.

But I want you to talk to some kids, too.

I want to hear what they have to say.

It's good to listen to people

that are going to be affected by these decisions.

Maybe some teachers.

This is going to take some research.

And then get back here by :.

Do you think

you're up to it?I'm up to it.

Well, I'll see you later.

All right. Thanks a million, my friend.

Wow, Sam's got a job with Senator Kennedy!

So this gives us reference

for how we want him to look when he's fully sculpted.

And the last is the front view

for our plywood cutout.

What happened to Ruff's ears?

RUFF: What?

JOHN: We'll have to add those in later.

Oh, good, I'm going to need my ears.

So how about you guys hold the sides of the board for me,

and I'll start to cut down here.

Yeah, bring it on down here.

To put the foam on, I'm going to ask one

of our sculptors from the parade studio to come and help us.

This is Eric.

How about we glue onto our plywood cutout.

Oop, that's good.

So our next step

is to do our rough cut on Ruff.

And for that, we're going to use

what's called a hot wire.

RUFF: A hot wire?

It's a wire that heats up because of electricity.

When the electricity goes through the metal,

it makes it sort of glow.

Because it gets hot, it can actually melt through

this white foam.

And we'll be able to trace right along our piece of wood

to give us the rough pattern of our friend Ruff.

RUFF: That is a very cool piece of technology.

I'm doing some research for, uh, Senator Kennedy.

Can I ask you some questions?

Sure.

Do you think that the school day should be longer?

No. Not at all. No?

Do you think that the school day should be longer?

No, I don't. You don't?

No.

Um, no, not really.

RUFF: Wow, these kids don't seem

too excited about having a longer school day.

Hey, Sam, see if they want longer episodes of FETCH!

Do you think that the school day should be longer?

Yes.

Why is that?

I like to spend more time with math.

Yes.

We could work on reading and writing.

SAM: So do you think that the school day should be longer?

I think that kids should be spending

a little more time in school, just to stay out of trouble.

Longer. Longer.

Wait a minute, the yeses are definitely gaining momentum.

GIRL: Yes.

We could work on math, reading, history, social studies.

Yes.

What subjects do you think you could get,

that you don't have right now, with more time?

A second lunch.

Art, because we don't have art.

Yeah, I could've used more art.

We can all look at what Ruff looks like from the side.

This is going to be the general Ruff shape.

We're going to use these.

You just scrape it away.

RUFF: Oh, it's like zesting a lemon.

You know, just a big white lemon.

So how did you get interested in this job?

I started doing parades back when I was in school.

When I went to college, I studied

theater and technology.

So that we could, I could learn how to design things

that were very theatrical,

and technology so that I could learn how to build them.

Hey, maybe I could be a parade technician.

I love theater!

Oh, and I'm great with technology.

Nope, wrong button.

Here we are, back in Studio G

with Harsha and Jay,

who are ready to earn some points of their own

in the Half-Time Quiz Show.Whoo!

points are available.

You have seconds to answer as many questions as you can.

I will ask ten questions with five points per question.

Are you ready? Yeah. Ready.

JAY: Theater and technology.

Theater and technology.

Wow, that was quick.

True or false...

HARSHA: False.

False.Correct.

A scale drawing.Yes.

True or false...

True.Yes.

Fill in the blank...

Melting it?Yes!

Foam and...

Plywood.Yes!

"D", all of the above.Nice!

Okay, teachers,

students andStudents and...

the Secretary of Education.

Yes!

Because they like math...

And, uh, they don't get enough classes like art.

Yes!

And we are out of time.

Nine out of ten for a total of points.

That is an excellent score.

So is it going to rain on my parade

or are the FETCHers keeping afloat?

[laughing]

Let's find out with Sammy, Noel and DJ.

Ruff's running for election, right?

SAMMY: Yeah.

Maybe he needs a banner or...

Yeah.or a medal.

Oh! A medal!

Everyone's going to want to vote for me now.

So we're going to make him a star.

Hey, Jerry.

Nice to meet you.

What we're going to do now is called

the casting process.

This is a polyurethane plastic casting material.

When we mix the two parts together, it's going to get hard

very quickly, within, like, five minutes.

JOHN: With this stuff,

there's actually a chemical reaction that happens

with these two liquids.

They will become solid on its own by the two

mixing and becoming a new liquid.

JERRY: And fill it all the way to the top.

And now we wait.

JOHN: There it goes.

NOEL: Wow, that's really cool how the chemical reaction

just makes the color change from, like, clear to white.

You want to take it out and take a look?Okay.

Well, that came out great.

Wow.

Hey, Ruff, look. Made a star for you.

Wow, that star will be perfect for my badge!

Not now, Blossom.

Can't you see I'm admiring my star?

Wow, Sam is really pounding the pavement.

Do you think that the school day should be longer?

Uh, yes, I do.

It's always good to practice your math.

Yes.

The school day should not be longer.

Well, I teach first grade.

Oh, we have an expert, a teacher.

They already have a pretty long school day.

I can't imagine them staying any longer than they already do.

Uh, I think it should be a little longer.

No.Why do you think that?

Because it would be too much work.

Well, thanks for, uh,

participating in my research.

[chattering excitedly]

RUFF: Hey!

There are my eyes and my ears!

That's so cool.

I can't believe how good I'm looking.

And they've still got a week to finish it.

What do you mean, they don't have a week?

What do you mean, the parade's today?!

[screams]

The parade's today!

[shrieking]

I'm... I should probably tell them.

[Ruff clears throat]

RUFF: Hey, FETCHers!

DJ: Hey. Hi, Ruff.

Hey, Ruff. JOHN: Hey, Ruff.

Thanks for sculpting me.

Excellent job.

No problem. No problem.

Everything's fine except for one thing.

It's a minor detail, nothing big really. Um...

The parade-- it's not next week.

No, it's today at : p.m.

What? NOEL: Are you serious?

JOHN: Today? Ruff.

I'm sorry about that.

Finish up. Good luck.

[chuckles]

We'll do our best, Ruff.

RUFF: Sam's taking the pulse of the nation, but remember,

he still needs to meet with someone else.

TED KENNEDY: I want you to talk

to the Secretary of Education.

RUFF: The Department of Education--

where every dog-ate-my-homework excuse is investigated.

Hello, Sam. Hello.

RUFF: There she is, Miss Spellings.

Well, I'm doing a research project for Senator Kennedy,

and I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Excellent.

All right, so, do you think

that the average kid's school day should be longer?

I think some kids do need more time to learn, I surely do,

and I think maybe even most kids.

RUFF: Well, we have a yes from the Secretary of Education.

That should probably count at least double.

It's also good time for them to get caught up,

so if they're falling behind, they can catch up

and get their reading skills or math skills up to snuff.

We know that there's so much to learn,

and the world is changing so fast that really,

we all need as much time as we can to learn.

All right, well, thank you so much.

Thank you, my friend.

Well, it was great to meet you. You, too, Sam.

This looks like that hula thing.

It does look like a hula thing.

JOHN: We've got to cover our float bed.

Yeah, that was quick.

Oh, we still got

to find that fire plug. I...

Cool.

Awesome.

JOHN: And the next step I think is

our grass mat.

DJ: Okay.

JOHN: So that gives us a hole for our flowers. Terrific!

We got to get Ruff painted.

Let's get the paint.

RUFF: Let's paint,

and don't forget my famous circle.

[gasping]

RUFF: Uh-oh.

Oopsie daisy.

RUFF: I guess they don't call her

Sammy the Spiller for nothing.

Can I start painting?

RUFF: Got the orange, good.

Ah, yes, my yellow spot.

Voters will love that.

JOHN: We got a : parade, so just keep going.

RUFF: Good, good, good, get the nose. Nose is black.

ALL: Tada!

RUFF: Yes! I look fantastic!

Yeah! Oh!

[shrieks]

That looks so good.

JOHN: We've got our star that we've cast.

Think we're ready to put your campaign badge together.

Ruff, this is only going to hurt a little bit.

Oh, Oh.Oh! Oh!

RUFF: Easy. Easy. Oh.

Oh, that looks very painful.Oh, that hurt.

JOHN: Will you guys go get the signs? Yeah.

RUFF: Wow, this thing's coming together really quickly.

Looks awesome. "FETCH!

with Ruff Ruffman."Yeah!

Hey, Eric. RUFF: Hello!

JOHN: Ruff? Can we open it?

RUFF: Yes, please do.

It's very important.Oh, a sign.

BOTH: "Elect Ruff Ruffman Dog Officer."

RUFF: That's right, I'm running for office.

And why have a float

if people don't know what it's for?

Looks great!Great!

[P.A. system squeals]

RUFF: Hey, guys,

my float looks great, but does anybody have a watch?

It's almost :.

The parade's about to start.

We got to get going. What?

RUFF: You got to get the float to the starting line. Hurry, hurry.

DJ: Can we ride on it or...?

RUFF: Hurry, guys.

My political career's at stake!

Okay, nice and easy.

Make a hard right turn.RUFF: Easy.

Watch out for that tree, Ruff. [screams]

[screams]

Not the tree!

Okay, it's :.

He has one hour to finish his assignment.

Yes... Yes... No.

RUFF: Going over the data.

Yes.

All right, Sam has to get this done by :.

This is the life of a politician,

working day and night,

but only until :.

Guys, it's :. We made it.

Nice job, my little float technicians.

And I see you're sporting

the campaign T-shirts I sent you.

ALL: Let's have a parade!

[marching band plays]

RUFF: Wow! Look at this parade!

Vote for Ruff Ruffman as dog officer!

RUFF: Yes! Vote for me!

[overlapping shouting]

They're waving to us.

...for dog officer.

RUFF: Hello, my beloved constituents.

Ruff Ruffman.

Ruff Ruffman.

Thank you, sweetie.

Ruff!

CROWD [chanting]: Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!

RUFF: Blossom, look at them chanting.

They love me!

Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Vote for Ruff!

I'm going to vote for you, Ruffy.

You definitely have a lot of fans, Ruff.

RUFF: I'm so proud!

BOTH: See you back at Studio G, Ruff!

Bye, guys! Great job!

SAMMY & NOEL [chanting]: Ruff! Ruff!

Ruff! Ruff!

RUFF: I can't cry. [crying]

Sam, it's you. Yeah.

RUFF: :. Ooh!

He just made it under the deadline.

I found out that

% of kids wanted a longer school day,

and % of adults want a longer school day.

Secretary Spellings agreed.

She said, yeah, she did want a longer school day, as well.

So both the kids and the adults say more school.

Who would have thought?

So, I have it all written down right here, so here you go.

Wow!

Would you like to come to work for me permanently?

I can tell you I can use that. Wow!

RUFF: Now, hold on there, Senator. After the show, okay?

I need him for a bunch of episodes.

This is marvelous. Thank you so much.

Listen, I've got a little present for you.

Oh, you do? RUFF: Ooh, a present!

This is a book.

My Senator and Me.

There is Splash.

RUFF: See, he'd be

the perfect campaign manager.

I just hope he says yes.

All right, well, we have a present for you, too.

Wow! Hey! Here you go.

SAM: This was taken at Fenway Park.

RUFF: Oh, yes.

With my walkabout.

SAM: I think Ruff kind of looks like a duck in this picture.

A what?!

That is something else!

SAM: Like an orange duck.

RUFF: Oh, they think I look like a duck!

Blossom, do I look like a duck?

[clicking tongue] Really?

So now that you've given me a good report,

now you give Ruff a good report.

Thank you, Senator. It was nice to meet you.

All right, well, I got to get back to Studio G.

That a boy. Thanks a lot.

RUFF: Come on back, Sam.I'll see you later.

And bring back that suit you're wearing. It's a rental.

It's time to bring some FETCHers home.

He looks so good in a jacket and tie.

He should run for office. Hi, Sam.

Welcome back, Sam!

Thank you very much, Mr. Ruff Ruffman.

If you've got three FETCHers, you've got a parade!

Sammy, Noel and DJ.

Nice outfits!RUFF: Come on in.

Let's tally up some points.

[overlapping chatter and cheering]

RUFF: Sam!

I'm doing some research for Senator Kennedy.

RUFF: Not only did you conduct research

for important legislation.

You did it with dignity,

respect and not a hint of scandal.

[cheering] Great!

RUFF: And then, you got a meeting

with the U.S. Secretary of Education.

For a total of... yes, points!

[cheering and overlapping chatter]

RUFF: DJ, Noel, Sammy.

You just scrape it away.

RUFF: For becoming parade float technologists

and building a convincing replica of me...

ALL: Tada!

[cheering] Yeah!

DJ: Vote for Ruff Ruffman as dog officer!

RUFF: Because you helped launch my campaign in style

at the local town parade...

Ruff Ruffman!

For a total of...

[applause]Pretty good.

But is that all the points a dog can give?

ALL: No!

[Senator Kennedy's accent]: What time is it?

ALL: Bonus points!

RUFF: Today's five bonus points go to the FETCHer

who did such a good job that he got an actual job offer.

Would you like to come to work for me permanently?

RUFF: For unofficially starting his career as a government official,

Sam, with points, you're today's daily winner!

Now, then, Sam, I have here two mockups

of a new commemorative quarter

that would feature local dog officers

of canine human affairs.

They're completely identical, except under one of them,

a prize that ought to be a law,

and under the other,

definitely one to be vetoed.

So, which will it be?

Quarter A or Quarter B?

Let's go with B!

Then, Sam, if you would please rise.All right, guys.

Step forward, and retrieve your prize.

It's in the mailbox, sir.

It's a root beer float.RUFF: Yes!

Not just a float-- a root beer float.

Yeah, I wouldn't actually

have been able to fit a float in the mailbox.

You guys can all have some if you want.

See, that's how you treat your constituents.

That is some good stuff, Ruff.

All right, guys.

I am Ruff Ruffman.

See you next time.

ALL: Bye, Ruff!

RUFF: Vote for Ruff!

♪ FETCH! Vote for Ruff.

How could I have lost the election?

I was the only one running!

That's true, I couldn't have done the show if I had won.

Besides, I wrote my state senator,

so maybe she'll do something about the dog laws.

Look at this, Blossom!

"Dear Mr. Ruffman..."

Now I can wear my bathrobe and play the violin

as much as I want.

Hey!

"Cats have free license to mail..."

"...care of a NASA space probe."

Well, who put that law in?



[Ruff scatting]

♪ FETCH! ♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman! ♪

[Ruff scatting]

Oh, whatever.

♪ FETCH! ♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman! ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪