02x06 - Fred the Flying Fish/CatDog Divided

Episode transcripts for the TV show "CatDog". Aired: April 4, 1998 - June 15, 2005.*
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Conjoined siblings -- one a dog, the other a cat -- deal with the unique challenges of their existence.
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02x06 - Fred the Flying Fish/CatDog Divided

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪





( Straw sucking the bottom )

Dog, dog, hey, hey!

I thought we were

Splitting this milkshake.

My half was on the bottom.

( Mutters ): his half was on the bottom.

( Yelling )

Hiya, dunglap.

Hi, catdog.

Got to go. See ya!

Whoa. Whoa, whoa

What's the rush?

I'm off to nearburg national forest

To find fred the flying fish.

Wowie caboodles.

Fred the flying fake, you mean.

There's no such thing.

He's just an idiotic legend.

He's not real?

Totally bogus magazine says he's real.

They're paying a thousand buckaroonies

To the first person who gets a picture.

( Cash register ringing )

Dog, those , buckaroonies are as good as in our pocket.

But, cat...

How are we going to get a picture of fred

If he doesn't exist?

( Chuckles )

You'll see.

Dog: this... Itches.

Cat: perfect!

Okay, now, give me flying fish, come on.

Work with me, baby, smile.

Give it to me, yes!

Ooh, I love it!

Good, like that.

( Panting )

Well?

I don't like it.

We need more realism.

Tell you what.

Let's go up that tree.

Okay, cat!

( Grunting )

Well, that was fun.

Okay, pretend

You're about to fly.

Believe you can fly.

( Blithering )

( Yelps )

( Screaming )

( Whoosh )

( Gasps )

Oh!

Well, we really did it this time, dog.

( Sobbing )

Dog?!

Wake up, buddy.

Wake up, come on!

( Sobbing ): no!

Did we make it, cat?

I'm afraid not, pal.

( Bawling )

We're at the big scratching post in the sky!

( Sobbing hysterically... )

Huh?

We're alive!

But how did...?

Dog: look! It's a bird!

Both: it's fred!

He saved us!

Now do you believe he's real, cat?

Oh, I believe.

I believe if a picture is worth a thousand buckaroonies...

Then fred himself would be worth...

( Cash register rings )

( Very low ): oh, mama.

I can't wait to find fred and thank him.

Take her up, mr. Dog.

Aye aye, captain cat!

Any sign of him yet, mr. Dog?

Thar he blows!

Huh? ( Gasps )

Full speed ahead!

Come to papa!

He's going down.

( Horn blaring )

Dive! Dive!

Gee, I think we lost him.

Well, I guess that's that.

( Howling )

Cat: easy! Easy! Hoo-whaa!

Quick, dog, that was fred!

He's headed for the surface!

There's no sign of fred, cat.

I think he got away.

Not for long!

No flying fish can resist...

Peruvian flying worms!

Let 'er rip!

Okey-fenokee, cat!

( Sniffs loudly )

( Buzzing loudly )

( Loud snap )

( Slurping )

Ah!

( Ringing bell )

( Snap )

( Gobbling loudly )

Hi, fred.

I'm dog and that's cat.

I just wanted to thank you for saving our lives.

He sure is hungry, cat.

Well, uh... Why don't you invite fred over

For a nice, home-cooked meal?

( Warbles )

Dog: yeah!

( Crash )

Dog: save some room for dessert, fred.

Oh, there's got to be something here.

Look, dog, one for you.

"Museum of undeveloped minds."

"Museum of oddities!"

Perfect for this airborne anchovy!

Hello?

Museum of oddities?

I've got something really odd.

( Belches loudly )

( Horn honking )

Nice!

Okay, oddity, get on the truck.

Not us-- him.

Ooh, even nicer.

Here you go.

Cat! You can't sell fred.

He saved us.

Come on, don't worry, dog.

Fred is going with this nice man

To a wonderful place.

Hmm... He'll frolic

And play and be very happy.

I don't know.

Let's have fred decide.

Yeah, um

( Rabbit yelling ) fred...

You want to go with this nice man, huh?

Just shake your head and...

Oh! Isn't that cute? See?

Load him up, boys.

( Honking horn )

( Sniffing deeply )

( Cat chuckling gleefully )

Dog, don't ever let anyone tell you

Money can't buy happiness.

Do you really think fred's all right?

Who?

Oh, the fi... Oh, he's fine.

Forget it, cheer up.

I'm buying you the biggest bone in nearburg.

Yes, may good old fred long enjoy

His celebrity status in the limelight.

Rabbit: come one, come all

To rancid rabbit's museum of oddities

The most adequate show on earth.

See fred the flying fish.

Stare at him.

Take pictures.

Make fat jokes.

Oh, cat, I would feel so much better

If we could see fred one more time

Before his big show business debut.

Oh, well...

Why not?

Step right up, folks.

It's live on the inside.

Only five dollars-- two for ten dollars.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, too

And don't have too much fun.

( Gasps )

( Gasps )

( Grunting )

Cat! You lied to me!

You said fred was going to be happy.

Well...

He's in chains!

They're nice chains.

Shame on you, cat!

Okay, okay, I'm sorry, dog.

I didn't know

They were going to treat him like that.

We'll get him back!

Okay, okay, people

Let's get this show on the road.

Go on, cat.

( Clears throat )

Hi.

I changed my mind.

I, I want fred back.

Here's your money.

No way.

A deal's a deal. b*at it.

Okay... If that's the way he wants to play it, fine.

I'm going to show you

The greatest thing your eyes have ever seen.

Don't worry, fred.

We'll have you out in a jiffy.

( Grunting )

It's too strong.

Fred, you've got to help.

Come on, pull, pull!

Bust that chain!

Break the ties that bind!

Behold... Fred, the flying fish.

( Scattered applause )

( Audience gasps )

You're free, fred!

Fly! Fly like a flying fish.

( Audience screaming )

What, what, what?

Come down from there!

No! Wait!

( Screaming )

We did it, cat.

We certainly did.

And we still got the buckaroonies.

Bye, fred.

See you later.

( Both sniffling )

Well... Bye, money.

See you never.

( Coughing, gagging )

( Yelling )

( Groans )

( Grunts )

Okay, okay, kids... Show's over.

Get out of here.

( Crowd murmuring... )

I cannot believe we're finally seeing the amazing ray.

Well, we'll just see how amazing he is.

( Gong clangs )

Audience: ooh...

Audience: ooh!

( Grunts )

( Audience gasps )

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I am the amazing ray.

( Cheering and applause )

Let the magic begin.

Wow!

Oldest trick in the book.

Amazing, ray!

Oh, come on.

That's all done with mirrors.

( Growling )

( Cheering and applause )

Even amazinger.

Come on, I can do that.

( All gasp )

( Cheering and applause )

( Silence )

And now for my final feat of magic

I will need a volunteer.

Oh, me, me, me, me!

Pick me! Pick me!

No, no, no, no!

Don't even think about it, dog.

You, next to the cat.

Wowie caboodles, I'm next to a cat.

That's me!

Whoa!

I'm dog, and this is cat.

I am the amazing ray.

Yeah, we know.

( Electrical sizzling )

( Assistants giggling )

I will now saw a person...

Or catdog, in half.

What do you d... Oh!

( Whistles )

Behold... The saw of separation.

( All gasp )

Gee, that looks very, very sharp.

Yawn.

It's probably made out of rubber.

( Whimpering )

Tell me when it's over.

( All gasp )

( Cheering and applause )

Hi, cat.

Hi again!

And now, to reunite them magically...

( Siren wails )

Amazing ray, you're under arrest for practicing magic

Without a license

And wearing a really bad toupee.

And now for my encore, I will disappear.

Show's over, ray.

Hey, hey, the rabbit pulled a magician out of a hat.

( All laughing )

( Audience booing )

Too-ra-loo-ra, ta-ra-ra, boom-deay, ta-ra... What?

You have the right to remain silent.

Any magic words you say will be held against you.

Hey, wait, mr. Amazing.

Wait a minute.

Come back.

Come on, dog, let's...

Ooh, look.

I'm over here, and you're over there.

And now I'm over here.

And you're still there.

And I can go here, and you can stay there.

And I'm still here.

And you're still there.

( Cackling )

Here, there.

Look, it's me.

Only me!

I'm free!

Dog, this is the greatest thing

That has ever happened!

For the first time in my life

I can go somewhere all by myself.

But what about me?

Oh, you'll be fine.

Listen, I'll see you later.

Boy, I never thought I'd be able to say that.

Flying solo and feeling fine.

( Scat singing )

Hey, look.

It's cat in the box.

Lose your better half, cat?

Duh, something's different.

Don't tell me.

Enough of this conversation.

Let's get him!

Um, dog, back me up!

Dog, dog... Dog?

Oh!

Forget about...

On second thought, um... Maybe we should get back together.

You can put us back together, right, cat?

Um, well, of course I can.

( Snorts )

Easy.

It's just a silly trick.

Just, uh, back up.

There.

It's real magic.

It wasn't a trick.

( Both screaming )

( Grunting and moaning )

All right, all right, all right! Wait, wait!

Come on, dog, work with me.

( Crash, grunt )

Hey, dog

I see you finally got rid of that unsightly appendage.

Zip it, rat boy.

Dog, we can't live like this.

We got to get back together

If it's the last thing we do!

How?

Why?

( Squeals )

Both: s'mores.

( Cackles )

Guess you'll have to change

Your names to catbox and boxdog.

( Cackling )

Okay, that's it.

We're going to jail.

Huh?

Excuse me, my good man.

We demand to see the amazing ray.

Take a number and get in line.

I have to go to work.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Where's my little sister?

All right, all right.

I'll take you back to ray and he'll fix you up.

Nothing up my sleeve.

( Gasps )

Rabbit: he's gone.

He's vanished.

How did he do that trick, cat?

That's it.

We're doomed.

This is how we'll have to spend

The rest of our miserable lives!

"Now appearing in farburg

The amazing fay, mistress of magic."

Hey, cat, let's go see a magic show.

Never say magic to me again.

Gee, he kind of looks like ray's sister.

Sister, nothing.

Come on, dog.

We're going to farburg.

I'm right behind you, cat.

( Muttering, grunting )

What are you... Hold it!

Cease and desist.

Oh, forget it.

We'll never make it to farburg like this.

I'm too tired and, plus, I got a wobbly wheel.

( Sniffing )

I got an idea.

See, cat, this is...

( Shouting )

( Both grunting )

Dog: boy,-i-wish-i-had- a-toy-like-this.

We got a real spring in our step, cat.

( High-pitched voice ): is this your card?

( Applause )

Oh, thank you, thank you.

My next trick I call...

The big drill.

( Drill whirring )

Do I have a volunteer?

How about us?

Hello, fay.

Or should I say... Ray?

Uh...

( Growling )

Put us back together

Or you'll disappear... Permanently.

Ladies and gentlemen, I shall now join a cat and dog together.

( All gasp )

Will this really work, fay?

Of course!

I'm the amazing ray-- uh, I mean fay.

( Grunting )

Cat, you're in there all the time?

Yeah, i, uh, I guess I was.

Then who's that?

( Normal voice ): ta-da!

( High-pitched voice ): I mean, ta-da!

( Pop, air escaping )

( Cheering and applause )

I told you it was just a trick.

( Laughing )

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine

♪ Little catdog

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪
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