02x07 - The Unnatural /Skiing/Dog Ate It

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪





Cliff: no way, forget about it!

Pick the cat, already!

I'm itching to play ball!

I'm not getting stuck with cat again.

I'll take, uh...

That guy.

Cliff, that's a mailbox.

So?

We stick it behind home plate.

Got to be better than cat.

Excuse me.

But I have all star potential.

[ All laughing]

Come on, cat's not that bad.

[ Sarcastically]: thanks.

Get real-- the only reason we let cat play

Is because you

Always bring him along, slugger.

Aw, let's get this over with, stone paws.

[ Players chattering]

Come on, cliff, baby.

Let's see what you got.

All right, dog!

It's the last inning

And all we need is one more run.

[ Grunts]

Ball one.

You okay, cat?

I'm terrific, yeah, great.

I knew should have picked the mail box.

[ Players chattering...]

[ Grunts]

Hi-ho diggitty!

Way to go, dog!

Dog: I'm outta here.

Man! He murderlized it.

[ Grunting]

I got it! I got it!

[ Grunting]

I got it! I got it!

I got it! I got it!

The, the touchdown thing.

[ Laughing]

[ Grunting]

Throw it!

Come on, throw it!

What are you waiting on?

Throw it, throw it, throw it!

Throw it.

[ Both grunting]

[ Yowling]

All right, dog!

An inside the park home run!

That a boy, dog!

All right, there, spark plug!

Looking good!

Lube: oh, good one!

You stink, cat!

You're the biggest loser I ever met.

And I hang out with him.

What a loser.

Hoo, fun, fun, fun!

You okay, cat?

I'm fine.

Who cares about a stupid game, anyway?

[ Stammering]

[ Sobbing...]

Oh, don't look at me.

I'm a loser!

Just turn away, dog.

You're looking at me, quit looking at me.

Whatever you say.

[ Sobbing]

[ Wolf howls]

Can I look at you yet?

Uh... One second.

Okay, go ahead.

Hey, you're not a bad baseball player, cat.

You're just in a slump.

Okay, so it's been a long slump.

But just think of murray "the mule" marconi.

Murray the mule?

The greatest hitter

In the history of sandlot baseball?

That's the one!

The mule used to be a puny little loser

Just like you.

They used to call him

"Murray the moron."

Pathetic.

[ All laughing]

Moron!

But he believed in himself and worked hard.

[ Metal crunching]

[ Loud thump]

[ Loud smack]

And now he would live forever

In the sandlot hall of famousness.

Wow!

You know, you're right, dog.

If he could do it, so can i.

That's the spirit!

That's it cat, work it, work it!

Feel the pain.

No pain, no gain.

No rain in spain!

Oh, yeah! You got it!

[ Grunting]

[ Slurping]

[ Grunting]

[ Groaning]

Oh...

[ Yells]: he-ho! And a hoo-whaa! Oh!

[ Growls]

Oh, yeah, shake it out.

How do you feel?

I feel good!

How good?

I feel baseball good!

I think you're ready.

Here they come.

All: ♪ ...at the ball game

♪ b*at cat up in the crowd

Dog?

Yes, cat?

I'm not ready.

I know what let's do.

[ Sewing machine whirring]

Tell me the plan again, cat.

I'm going to pretend to be who?

All right.

Look, you'll pretend to be me.

And I'll pretend to be you.

[ Both chuckling]

See, every time you hit a homer they'll think it's me.

But isn't that cheating?

[ Laughing]: no, it's creative problem solving.

Oh, okay.

Watch me throw one

Right by this simp.

[ Grunts]

[ All gasp]

It's a miracle!

But a bad miracle.

Cat: um, ooh...

Wowie kaboodles.

Cat really clobbered that one.

I don't believe it.

Dog: beautiful.

This is almost as much fun as, uh, opera.

Come on, dog!

Show these mutts how to play ball!

Golly, what a whiff.

Sorry.

[ All groan]

Player: cat's stealing home!

And, man, did he get a good jump!

[ Cheers, laughter]

I'm just one terrific cat giving %.

Um, uh, wow, cat.

You're like some kind of baseball superstar.

All [ chanting]: cat! Cat! Cat! Cat!...

Listen up, dog.

It's the bottom of the ninth.

Two outs, two strikes!

Get a hit, you're a hero.

Strike out, you'll be a loser forever!

Gee, I hope I do not choke.

Me, too.

I don't like being a loser.

All [ chanting]: loser, loser, dog is a loser.

Come on, cat, you made your point.

Please don't strike out.

Let's see you hit this, loser dog!

My good name is all I got, cat.

Excuse me.

Cat: murray the mule marconi.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I travel the country giving inspirational speeches

To young sandlot players in need.

I also sell insurance.

I want to tell you the secret to baseball.

You see, it doesn't matter how good you are.

All you got to do is believe in yourself.

I do believe in myself.

Don't worry, dog.

It's time for cat to get in the game.

[ All gasp]

That's not catdog!

It's cat-cat!

[ All gasp]

What the heck's going on here?

No one calls dog a loser but me!

You tell them, cat!

And I belong on the baseball field.

Burn one in there, cliffie baby!

This cat is going yard!

[ All talking]

[ Grunts]

Well, you are really awful.

Later.

Here's my card.

Way to go, loser!

Come on, cat.

It's just a game.

You're good at other stuff.

You're a super genius.

Well... This is true.

And a master of foreign languages.

Oui, oui

A rare skill.

You know, you're right, dog.

I'm okay.

Hey, where are you going?

I quit, cliff, I'm through with baseball.

Who'll play catcher?

Are you leaving?

We're in the middle of a game here!

Sorry, guys, it's just not my game.

[ Shrieks]

It's your ball!

I got it!

Throw it, throw it throw it, throw it!

You're out of here!

[ All cheering]

[ Gulps] well, it was a good play.

[ Birds chirping]

Cat: one, two, cha-cha-cha.

One, two, cha-cha-cha.

And one, two, cha-cha-cha.

And one, two, cha-cha-cha.

One, two, cha-cha-cha.

And one, two, cha-cha-cha.

Oh, bueno,whoo! [ Laughs]

Dog, with moves like these

We'll have the chiquitas eating out of our paws.

Hoo-hoo!

Nearburg dance fiesta, here we come!

Hi-ho diggity, cat.

We were born to dance, cha-cha-cha!

Whoa, whoa!

[ Thumps]

[ Sighs]

[ Sloshing]

[ Sloshing]

Dog, I hate to say this, but...

You need to drop some poundage.

We don't want to fall on our nonexistent butt

In front of everyone, do we?

Okay.

[ Slurps]

Oh, yummy.

Uh-uh-uh. [ Loud slap]

None for the likes of you, little mister.

We need to slim you down

Into a lean, mean dancing machine.

[ Cackling] here.

"Fat free choco slim diet food.

Made from real tar."

Hmm, I'm going to like this diet.

Ew, this stuff tastes like dooky.

Cat, isn't there another way I can lose weight?

[ Grunting] cha-cha.

[ Grunting] cha-cha.

Oh!

[ Grunting]

That's more like it, dog.

Feel the burn.

[ Loud gobbling, tree cracking]

[ Both yelling]

Well, that was unrewarding.

Um, dog, you haven't been sneaking food, have you?

[ Whimpers]

You know what?

I give up.

We're not going to the dance.

In fact, our dancing days are over!

What?

Cat, please.

Give me one more chance.

I'll lose the weight.

I promise.

And I'll do it all on my own.

[ Gulps]

[ Pants]

...seven!

Come on, sweat!

Squeeze that gut master!

Only more to go!

Let it burn!

I'm burning... .

[ Huffing and puffing]

Oh, dog, dog, I didn't think

You had it in you.

I don't anymore.

It was easy, cat.

All I did was eat sensible

Exercise, and, uh...

Oh, watch tv.

[ Music playing...]

Lookin' good.

And slim.

[ Applause]

[ Gasps]

[ Both laughing]

Well...man: everyone grab a partner

And head for the dance floor.

It's time for our cha-cha dance contest, bueno.

[ Cheers and applause]

Time to shake it.

[ Cha-cha music begins]

Hello, ingrids, care to cha-cha-cha?

Ja-ja-ja.

Okay, we dance.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Hi.

[ Cha-cha music playing]

[ Sniffing]

Ah!

[ Whispering]: dog, concentrate on the music.

And don't think about food!

I'm sorry. You're right, cat, you're right.

Do not think about food.

Do not think about food.

That is my mantra.

Do not think about food.

[ Laughs]

[ Sighs]

Ooh!

[ Laughs]

Saucy.

Saucy!

♪ Serve me up some chili

♪ And a cheese steak made in philly ♪

Box step.

♪ And a big old enchilada

♪ And a slab of veal piccata

♪ Wash it down with mozzarella and make me a happy fella ♪

♪ It's the hot and spicy cha-cha-cha! ♪

The band is good, ja?

Ja.

Look at him swing those drumsticks.

[ Echoing]: drumsticks...

Drumsticks.

Drumsticks.

Drumsticks.

Don't think about food.

Don't even think about food.

♪ We all love spaghetti, won't you call me when it's ready ♪

♪ And a couple of pizza pies

♪ Pepperoni would be nice

♪ It's a dance that can't be b*at ♪

♪ And it's all that you can eat ♪

♪ It's the hot and spicy cha-cha-cha ♪

♪ And I love it

♪ It's the hot and spicy cha-cha-cha! ♪

[ Applause]

I'm thinking about food.

[ Hushed]: control yourself, dog.

Stop thinking about food!

Dog: I'm not thinking...

I'm eating!

[ Crowd screaming]

[ Dog gobbling, woofing]

♪ Woof, woof, cha-cha-cha

♪ Cha-cha-cha

[ Screaming]

[ Glass breaking]

[ Loud crashing]

[ Cat moaning and groaning]

I never dance with you two again.

You stepped on my toes

And you ate my sister.

Ingrid: ja!

Hmm!

You've eaten everything in sight

Including my band...

[ Music playing]

...and I love it!

That was the most original dance I've ever seen.

First prize!

[ Gasps]

Well, at least we got something out of all this.

[ Chuckles]

Huh?

[ Gobbles, gulps]

[ Belch echoes]

[ Chomping...]

[ Wind whistling...]

Oh!

Ah, skiing. Yes!

A sport of grace and agility.

Watch and learn from the master, dog.

[ Chuckles]

[ Grunts]

Whoa, whoa!

Hi-ho diggity fun!

[ Cat yowling]

Dog, I demand you stop at...

[ Screaming hysterically]

[ Gasps]

Cat, I think I'm learning already.

[ Cat screaming]

[ Dog laughing]

[ Screaming]

[ Blithering and panting]

[ Screaming]

Remember, kids

There are two rules in skiing.

Never cross your skis

And always expect the unexpected.

[ Yowling]

Whoa, cool!

[ All screaming...]

Whoa!

[ Clank]

[ Yowling]

[ Screaming...]

Rabbit: catdog!

Yow! Whoo-hoo!

[ Blithering]

[ Both screaming]

[ Screaming echoing]

Whoa-whoa-oa-oa-oa...!

[ Screaming echoing...]

[ Grunt]

[ Groans]

You are the master, cat!

Come on and teach me some more.

Whoa! Whoo-hoo!

Hot diggity!

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine

♪ Little catdog

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪