02x09 - Dem Bones/Winslow Documentary/You're Fired

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪





[ Pigeons cooing]

Cat: it's my turn

To pick where we go, dog.

Oh, but I don't feel like it.

I don't want to go to a boring museum.

Boring?

Huh!

The nearburg museum of natural history.

Inside this building

Are the most amazing

And incredible things you'll ever see.

Man: our next exhibit

"The history of dust."

Dust was discovered by lean too in the chi dynasty.

In the year ...

I'm hungry.

Shush.

I'm thirsty.

Shush.

I have to go to the...

Uh-uh-uh.

I happen to know for a fact

That you don't.

...and tomorrow morning we will unveil

Our brand-new exhibit

Tyrannosaurus rex, king of dinosaurs.

[ Sniffing deeply]

Bones... Bones... Bones!

[ Voice quivering]: ah...

This is the most amazing

And incredible thing I've ever seen.

Dog, dog.

You cannot eat those bones.

They are million years old.

Yummy.

Aged to perfection.

[ Bones crunching]

Hey, can't you read this sign?

Both: do... Not... Touch.

You know what happens to people who touch?

Uh-uh.

They go to museum jail for a long, long time.

And when they get out

They look like this!

[ Screaming]

Oh, my body.

Those were the most beautiful

Delicious bones I've ever seen.

Oh, will you stop talking about those bones

And go to sleep.

[ Sighs]

[ Cat snoring]

Bones, bones, bones.

Bones, bones, bones...

Bones, bones, bones.

[ Dinosaur roars, footsteps reverberate]

[ Gasps]

[ Growling]

[ Roaring]

[ Roaring]

[ Shrieks]

[ Gnawing]

What do you think you're doing?

Erg, erg, erg...

What?

I had a dream.

I was a cave dog

And I got a big dinosaurus

And I was eating his delicious bones.

Oh, please, that is the silliest thing I've ever heard.

Now go back to sleep.

And clean up all those dinosaur bo...

Dino... What?!

Dog: bones?

Yummy!

How did those get here?

Well, I think a little dog

Named dog stole them.

I was asleep.

Cat: you mean you were sleepwalking

All the way to the museum and back.

That means... I'm a thief.

A bone robber!

A kleptomaniac.

It means ourpaw prints

Are all over that museum.

They'll know it's us.

I don't want to go to museum jail.

We've got to get these bones back

And put that t-rex back together

Before the museum opens.

We might be able to get in here.

[ Both gasp]

Dog: where are we, cat?

We must be in the sewers

Under the museum.

Grab the bones and come on.

[ Something creaking]

[ Sighs]

Get over here, dog.

Aye aye, captain.

[ Flushing]

Oh-oh-oh!

Guard: hey, what's going on in there?

[ Gasps]

Quick, hide.

I know youse are in here someplace.

[ Growls softly]

Whoa! [ Screaming]

[ Grunting]

I'll get you...

[ Groans]

[ Splash]

Dog: we can't leave the bones.

[ Blubbering]

[ Groaning]

We've got to work fast.

When I call for the bone

You hand it to me.

You got it, cat.

Ankle bone.

Toe bone.

Tasty little toe bone.

Foot bone.

Delicious little footy bone.

[ Disgusted]: ew...

Dog: scrumptious little knee bone.

What's that?

[ Straining]

Cat: and last

But not least

The head bone.

Well, I must say, that looks pretty good.

Good enough to eat.

Dog, enough.

That's what got us into this mess.

[ Head bangs ladder]

Hey, who's in there?

Cat: oh, it is i, t-rex, grrrr.

King of dinosaurs.

You must leave this museum at once

Puny human, ha, ha, ha!

[ Screams]

Man: the museum is now open.

[ Crowd cheers]

Well, we did it, cat.

This nightmare is over

[ Yowling]

[ Bones creak]

[ Guy screams]

Dog, I do not want to spend

The rest of my life in museum jail.

Oh, it's not so bad, cat.

At least there's plenty to eat.

[ Gasps] dog.

You've become a cannibal!

Wake up, cat, wake up.

It's time to go to the natural history museum.

[ Screaming]: no!

[ Clears throat] good evening.

Welcome to winslow's home videos.

I'm your host, winslow

And I have painstakingly collected

Some of the more tender moments around the catdog house

Like... Breakfast, for instance.

Tacos, tacos, tacos.

Hey, easy on the hot sauce, dog.

It may be going in your mouth

But remember, it has to pass through ourcolon.

Okefenokee, cat.

Hmm, empty.

[ Yelps]

[ Gulping]

Hmm, nice and zesty.

What's more relaxing on a sunny afternoon

Than a quiet bike ride in the park?

Cliff: hey! Get that catbutt!

[ Shudders]

Get the lead out, dog.

[ Screeching]

Wah!

[ Frantic panting]

[ Yelling]

Dog: oh! Oh! Oh!

[ Crash]

[ Both gasp]

[ Screaming]

There's nothing like a nice, warm bath

To soothe your frazzled nerves.

Say it, cat, say it.

[ Resigned sigh]

Full speed ahead there, sailor dog.

Aye aye, captain cat.

Uh-oh, trouble ahead, captain.

Squid att*ck!

Oh, come... Dog! Dog, please, enough with the squid.

You're getting me wet!

Hi-ho, diggitty, captain cat.

It's a tidal wave.

[ Shrieks]

[ Cat yowling]

You see, catdog's not wacky all the time.

Au contrary.

These guys have real emotional depth and pathos, and...

[ Rumbling]

[ Screams]

[ Cat yowls]

[ Clears throat]

Uh, that's it for this episode of "winslow's home videos."

Hello?

A little help here?

[ Crowd murmurs excitedly]

[ Gasps]

Look at her, there she is!

[ Applause]that's her!

Hello.

Could you take your glasses off?

Ohh... [ Blows kiss]

Miss tallulah, could I get a sh*t?

...wonderful time.

T-tallulah!

Oh, tallulah.

Baby, you're the one.

Grace, charisma, talent.

Oh...

We have so much in common.

I know what you mean, cat.

I feel the same way

About mexican food.

What?

[ Kissing]

[ Cheering]

Oh, thank you.

Tallulah, sweetie.

So good to see you again.

Wonderful, yes.

What have you been up to?

Well, darling, I've been looking for my soul mate.

[ Yapping]

Someone other than my little fredo.

Do tell.

My whole life I've been searching for someone

Someone who is as faithful as a dog.

And as clever as a cat.

[ Gasping]

Someone bold enough

To pull me close and say

"Baby, you're the one."

[ Yaps]

Ruff, ruff, ruff.

Dog, did you hear that?

You're faithful, I'm clever.

I just said, "baby, you're the one."

You realize what this means?

Yes!

Wait, no.

Tallulah wants to share her life

With someone just like me.

Cat: tallulah!

Let me through!

Let me through!

I'm tallulah's soul mate!

Yeah, and I'm the king of sweden.

Love those meatballs, your majesty.

Whoa! Whoa!

[ Screaming]

[ Both grunt]

[ Loud clanking]

Cat, I don't think we can get inside

And talk to the very pretty lady.

Oh, yes, we will, dog.

[ Chuckles]

Dog: oh, shiny!

Shh, shh, shh!

Don't blow this for me, okay?

[ Rattling]

[ Panting]

[ Banging silverware]

[ Laughing]

[ Sniffing]

Hmm, hot peppers.

[ Chomps]

Yike!

Spicy!

Tallulah!

I must have her!

Now, dog

You just keep your mouth shut

And let me work my magic!

...european countries.

Your enchiladas, ma'am.

Ah...

[ Sniffing]

[ Gulps]

[ Belches loudly]

[ Laughing]

[ Alarm blaring]

[ Rumbling]

[ expl*si*n]

Oh!

[ Guts churning]

Oh, oh... Heartburn!

[ Burping]

Ow!

Oh!

Mm-mmm!

[ Laughter, yapping]

[ Gulping]

Cat: ah!

Sweet relief.

[ All gasp]

What the...?!

Get those hooligans out of here!

Yikes.

Why is this happening to me?

I don't know.

Dog, it's all your... [ Hiccups] fault!

Take those flaming fire hazards out back

And extinguish them.

You there.

I do say, this veal is simply delicious.

Flame-broiling-- I love it!

Cheap at twice the price.

Well... [ Chuckling] funny thing

It istwice the price.

Hmm...

I've got it.

Hold it right there!

I've got a plan for these two.

[ Burps]

I like that fire in your belly, boys.

Now go flame-broil some swordfish steaks

At table one.

Darling, I am starved.

Tallulah, here I come.

[ Seagulls cawing...]

[ Chuckles self-consciously]

[ Clears throat]

All: ah!

Ladies and gentlemen

Stand back as I miraculously flame-broil swordfish...

With my mouth.

Oh... Sounds heavenly.

[ Chuckles coyly]

[ Sniffs]

Mm-mmm, a tasty treat!

[ Clears throat melodramatically]

[ Takes deep breath]

[ Wheezes]

[ Groans]

[ Huffing and puffing]

[ Blowing]

[ Breathes deep]

[ Belches]

[ Gasps]

[ All laugh]

[ Burps again]

[ Chomping loudly]

[ Laughing]

Excuse me.

[ Burps]

I need more hot peppers!

Tallulah's waiting!

Bingo!

Peruvian atomic tamales.

Tallulah is mine!

[ Laughs slyly]

I don't think we're supposed to ea...

Mmm! Has a little wang to it.

[ Gulps]

Hmm, you're right, there is a little

Wang in there.

Did it work?

Ha-ha!

Tallulah, dinner is served.

[ Guts churning]

Ooh! [ Retching]

[ Groaning]

[ Screaming]

[ Screeching, banging]

[ Silence]

[ Screaming...]

[ Crashing, glass breaking]

Man: watch out!

Tallulah: fire!

Rabbit: stop, drop and roll!

[ Embers hissing]

[ Zapping]

[ Groans]

You're fired!

[ Laughing]

I get it!

'Cause we've been breathing fire!

Get him out of here!

Get out, get him out of here!

Cat: let go!

[ Gurgling]

No, please, wait.

[ Grunting]

My peach!

Tallulah.

I'm a faithful dog

And he's a clever cat!

Oh, I mean...

[ Stammering]

I'm a clever cat

He's a faithful dog

And baby...

You're the one.

Oh...

Darling, you are everything

I've been looking for.

[ Yapping]

Fredo! I've found my soul mate!

[ Yaps]

You hear that, cat?

She likes you.

Yes!

Tallulah is mine!

[ Belches]

[ Whimpering]

Oops.

Sorry, hot lips.

My soul mate doesn't charbroil puppies!

Come along, fredo.

[ Whimpering]: but I didn't mean to charbroi...

Look on the bright side, cat.

You still have me!

[ Churning, gurgling]

Excuse me.

There is no excuse for you.

[ Splat]

[ Laughing]

Get it? He's fired?

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine

♪ Little catdog

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪