02x15 - Let the Games Begin/Winslow Falls in Love

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day, with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard, no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪

♪ Catdog... ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪





Man: perfect, just... Perfect!

[ Camera flash pops twice]

Dog, that was not a fire hydrant;

It was the dogcatcher's leg.

[ Whining]

I've got three weeks in this filthy dog pound.

At least we have our health.

[ Gasps]

No...

[ Voices yelling in distance]

Not for long.

[ Voices approaching]

Uh... So, how's it going, fellows?

W-w-what you in for?

Performing painful dental work on a nosy cat.

Yeah, without a license.

Yeah... Without no teeth, too.

Cat: really? How fascinating!

Dog, don't turn your back on these guys.

I got you covered, cat.

[ Growling]

[ Greasers growling louder]

Rancid: listen up!

I need a few good dogs

For the annual nearburg versus farburg dog pound dogathlon.

Any volunteers?

Hmm... You five will do.

Let's go.

What, us? Together?

Yeah, what if we don't want to?

What you going to do...

Lock us up?!

[ Both snickering]

Good one!

All right, you mangy mutts, tell you what:

You compete in the dogathlon, I let you out early-- deal?

All: deal!

So nice to see you again, cousin rotten.

How was the drive from farburg?

[ In russian accent]: can the pleasantries, rancid.

You know your pathetic pups have no chance

To win back the dogathlon cup

From my farburg felons.

[ Squeaking]

Oh, impressive.

Rotten: that's the water boy.

[ Growls fiercely]

[ Playing fanfare]

[ Fanfare ends]

[ Flatly]: let the dogathlon begin.

First event, tug-of-w*r over the pit of beans.

[ Growling fiercely]

[ Moans]

Yo, catbutt

Stay out of the greasers' way.

We'll do all the winning!

"We'll do all the..."

Who made you team captain?

I did!

Yeah? Well, everybody knows

That I'm the brains of this here team!

I vote for shriek!

Thanks, dog.

Yeah, thanks a lot, smart move.

So, lube, old pal, what do you think?

Duh... I think, uh...

I don't think.

[ Starter's g*n fires]

[ Greasers scream]

Mmm... Refried!

Uh... Yeah.

[ Laughing]: some team you got there, cousin.

Next event, the teammate toss.

[ Gasps]

[ Screaming]

Ha! A new dog pound record.

[ Roars]

Oh, I'm going to enjoy this.

Throw me, cliff!

I'm more aerodynamic!

Yeah, but they're more fun to throw.

Put us down, you nitwit.

[ Shouting]

What goes around, comes around.

Dog: cat, we're going the wrong...

Hey, you did that on purpose!

You bet I did!

Duh, what?

Uh... Duh, who?

You should have listened to me!

Right on, shriek.

"Right on..." Dog, where is your loyalty?

[ Shouting, arguing]

Stop it!

Duh, look, duh...

I know I don't talk so good

But I got something to get off my, duh...

The front part of my body.

Duh... This isn't teamwork.

This is, um...

Um, not teamwork.

I think we should, like, uh... Work together

As a team- type thing.

Are you with me?!

All: no!

[ Shouting, arguing]

Uh... If you can't b*at 'em, um... Then b*at 'em up.

Cut it out.

Cut it out!

Now, listen up good.

No way I'm letting my rotten cousin, rotten, win that trophy.

So you miserable specimens

Either shape up and win this dogathlon

Or I lock the bunch of you up

Together in a smelly cage...

Forever!

Capisce?

Gesundheit.

Well...

What do you guys say?

Cliff: let's do it.

Dog: heigh-ho-diggity.

Shriek: I'm in.

Lube: yeah, and my hand's in, too.

Okay, easy, easy on the paw.

Sunshine: the final event, the obstacle course.

This is team nearburg's last chance to snatch victory

From the jaws of defeat.

[ Growling]

Ready?

Steady...

Go.

[ Snarling]

[ Yelling]

[ Groaning]

Here we go!

[ Screaming]

Get off of me!

We got a race to win!

Sunshine: the tunnel of tubes.

[ Clanks]

[ Groans]

[ Struggling]

[ Screams]

Hmm.

♪ Rock 'em, sock 'em, do it for the rabbit. ♪

♪ I want that trophy and I'm going to nab it. ♪

♪ Whack 'em, smack 'em, do it for the bunnya...

If you know what's good for you.

Sunshine: the electric fence.

[ Yelling]

[ Panting]

[ Screaming]

Sunshine: the mountain of mud.

[ Panting]

Sunshine: the pit of ticks.

Dog: look out! Ticks!

Aah! Dirty ticks.

I feel faint.

I hate them suckers.

Grab on, dog!

We got it made in the shade from here on in.

[ Laughing]

Cat, they're still back there!

Leaping lumbago.

Stray-yah!

[ Screams]

Cat...

We've got to go back and help.

There's no time!

Hmm...

Hey, you dumb dogs!

What did he call us?

What did you call them?

Duh, yeah, I'm talking to you, you morons!

With your beady eyes

And your fat heads

And your no brains!

No brains?

Uh, duh... I think he's maybe insulting you guys.

Cat, that is no way to talk to our teammates.

Okay, how's this?

My grandmother runs faster than you!

And she's a cat.

Get on!

Run, dog, run!

Ha! I won and you didn't.

[ Yelling]

I win.

Your team has flown the coop--

They're disqualified!

[ Yelling]

Cliff: get them!

Aw, we done it.

We did it.

We won!

I know that.

We're free.

I know, just...

Don't stop running.

[ Greasers grousing]

Now, dog, the key to successful souffleing-ing

Is a well-greased bowl.

Butter.

Butter.

What, are you two nuts?

If you're going to cook lousy food

At least do it right.

Let me show you how to grease a bowl.

[ Winslow giggling]

Quit fooling around.

Whee!

All that guy does is criticize.

[ Inhales deeply]

[ Whispering]: ah, perfection.

But remember, no loud noises.

No sudden moves.

[ Sniffs]

Eggy, eggy.

Eggy.

[ Rumbling]

Souffle...

Please... Don't say a word.

See, he's not always mean.

[ Slam]

[ Vibrating]

[ Gagging and choking]

I didn't say a word.

[ Cackles]

Winslow, don't you have anyone else to bother?

Nope, you two's my one and only.

Hmm, that's kind of sad.

Yeah, that souffle had "prizewinner" written all over it.

No, I mean it's sad that we're winslow's one and only.

Oh, please do not tell me

You're feeling sorry for that blue beast.

Next thing you'll say is, "he's only mean because he's lonely."

That's it!

All we have to do

Is find someone

For winslow to share his life with.

A soul mate!

Dog, you are a genius.

[ Gulps]

I knew it!

Hey, I wonder what winslow would say about that one.

Oh, probably something sweet like...

[ Imitating winslow]: take them big feet of yours

And join the circus, sister.

Oop!

[ Laughs]

Cool! Let me try.

Look at her.

Winslow would probably say...

[ Imitating winslow]: hey, lanky loretta, if you was any taller

You'd punch a hole through the ozone layer.

[ Laughing]

[ Both laughing]

Cat: too pale.

Dog: too short.

Hey, granny, your spandex days are over.

[ Thwack]

Ooh.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

Yeah, winslow doesn't really like anybody.

How are we going to find his soul mate?

Woman: come one, come all.

Match wits with the great sadie linkletter.

And for those of you whom I haven't scammed before

That's me!

Well, I'm game.

Whoo, "gamy" is more like it

But you'll do.

Your hat, please.

Now, follow the cookie.

Where's the cookie, slick?

Way to go, hawkeye.

The cookie's for you

And the hat's for me.

Who wants to try it with a gold watch?

Somebody call the big top.

The freak show escaped.

Where, where, where?

[ Others laughing]

That's a good one.

Oh, never heard that before.

Say, sadie

Is there a mr. Linkletter?

[ Under his breath]: look, dog.

Me, married?

[ Laughs]

What, are you nuts?

[ Winces]

Dog, we have found winslow's

[ Howling]: soul... Mate.

Bingo!

[ Cat clears throat]

Cat: oh, winslow?

Dinner is served.

You made me dinner?

If there's poison in here, I will sue.

Winslow: hey, who's the rat?

Sadie: hey, watch your mouth, blue boy.

The name is sadie.

Hey, cat, you know I'm very discriminating

When it comes to houseguests.

Has this one been sprayed?

I'll spray you, you little...

No, no, no, no, no.

Play nice, you two.

Cat, they don't seem to be hitting it off.

They just need a little time.

Winslow: weasel nose!

Sadie:doofus!

Rabbit ears!

Cretin!

Walnut-face!

Freak!

Loser!

Bonehead!

Scaredy rat!

Rodent!

Vermin!

Cat, are their souls mating yet?

Um... Not quite.

I know what-- why don't we skip dinner

And go directly to the parlor, shall we?

Will this bring them closer together, cat?

Board games never fail.

Okay, sadie, it's your turn.

J-e-

R-k.

"Jerk."

[ Laughing nervously]: oh, that's great.

What a wordsmith.

Now it's your turn, winslow.

"Moron."

[ Laughing and snorting]

Good one!

What's a moron?

Did you see that, cat?

I've never been so insulted in my life.

Give me some time.

We just met.

[ Whispering]: is it time for plan "b" yet, cat?

Hmm...

We got to go all the way to plan "q."

Dog: "mariachi-- the music of love."

[ Mariachi band playing]

[ Singing in bored voice]: ♪ ay, ay, ay, ay♪

♪ Te quiero, ratoncita...♪

Ah, isn't this soothing and sweet?

Doesn't it just set the mood for romance?

[ Dog humming along with music]

Oh, sheesh, I think my ears are bleeding.

I wish my ears was bleeding.

Then I wouldn't have to hear this racket.

Hey, it's not easy for a weasel to play this guitar.

[ In spanish accent]: just let the music take you away

Deep into the heart of old mexico.

[ Groaning]

Hey, you're interrupting my solo.

[ Trumpet screeches]

Blow, daddy, blow.

Oomph!

[ Straining]

[ Pop]

[ Dog screaming]

Ha! You call that nasty?

Watch this.

[ Strings play distortedly]

Ouch.

[ Cackles]

[ Groaning]

How'd you like them apples?

Strictly amateur.

Now, sit back and behold.

[ All yelling]

[ Horn toots]

Aah...!

[ Crash]

Ah, the sweet, sweet sounds of mayhem.

Lead singer: get your trumpet off my tail.

What can I say?

[ Chuckling]: sadie, I'm in the presence

Of a real professional.

It takes one to know one.

Thanks.

I just noticed...

You have

The most beautiful beady little eyes.

Really?

[ Cackles]

Yeah, really.

And I love your laugh.

[ Both cackle]

[ Both sigh deeply]

Oh, sadie, where have you been all my life?

Downtown, behind the bus depot.

Winslow: give me some sugar.

[ Kissing loudly]

Oh, winslow.

Let's get out of here.

How'd you like to see

My mozzarella collection, huh?

I'd be delighted.

You're kidding.

Hear me, catdog

I shall be nice to you forever and ever and ever.

And ever!

I don't believe it.

It actually worked, dog.

For the first time in my life

One of my plans worked.

Winslow: what?!

No!

Catdog...

I'm going to wring both your flea-bitten necks.

She's gone and it's all your fault.

What happened?

Just listen:

"Dear winslow, I am your soul mate

"But I am also a con artist

"So I swiped all your stuff

And left you this cookie."

"Good-bye, my little blue angel.

Love, sadie."

[ Blows nose loudly]

At least she left you a cookie.

Who cares about a stupid...

[ Choking up]: cookie?

[ Sobbing]: sadie!

Come back!

I love you!

Is there going to be a second show

Or can we pack up?

Shh.

Are you all right, winslow?

[ Sniffles]

Never better, dog.

I have found love.

Now I just have to track it down again.

So, that means you're not mad at us, right

And won't be mean, maybe?

I'm going to build an altar around this cookie.

It's the cookie of love.

Hey, I guess he's really not mad at us.

Good job, cat.

Well, I do what I can.

Just because I'm not mad at you

Doesn't mean I'm not going to mess with you.

[ All yelling]

Don't worry, cat.

Just let the mariachichi music soothe your soul.

♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay...♪

[ Humming and grunting mariachi song]





♪ ...just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... ♪