02x17 - A Very Merry CatDog Christmas

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪

Oh...!

Tree... Tree...

Tree...!

Oh, nothing beats

The great smell of pine needles and beef!

Hey, cat, it's tradition time.

Close your eyeses.

This will be your best christmas present ever.

[ Sniffing]

[ Whispers]: come on, sports car.

Okay, now I'll close my eyes

And you put my present under the tree.

Ooh... Yeah, okay, right.

All right, what do I got here?

Oh, that will never do.

Hmm, yeah, not bad.

Ho-ho-ho!

That reminds me, cat!

I almost forgot my most favorite tradition of all!

Come on!

♪ The best part of christmas

♪ Is being together... ♪

Both: whoa, whoa, whoa...!

[ Car horns honking...]

[ Cash registers chiming...]

Imagine the thrill of meeting father christmas.

What do you want for christmas, little boy?

I want kung fu kenny with real blood

And hands you can slice off, and a death ray!

[ Imitates death ray zapping]

Uh... So much for the christmas spirit.

Yow... Wow...

Whoo-hoo... Wha...

Santy, santy, santy!

Hiya, mr. Kringle.

Uh, yes, yes...

And what do you want for christmas?

Let me guess... Something expensive

With a death ray, right?

Golly, no... [ Chuckles]

All I want for christmas is...

[ Whispers]: I hope cat likes my present.

Why, that's a pure and wonderful christmas wish!

Your turn, cat.

All right... Here's the deal.

[ Stage whisper]: I want a sports car!

Cherry red with five on the floor

And a catalytic converter.

Let's hope dog finally finds a way to make my wish come true.

[ Chuckles] ciao.

Rancid: g*ng way, g*ng way!

Step aside!

Make way for the v.i.p.s.

May I present the cutest, sweetest little girl in the world...

My niece rancine.

There you go, rancine.

If he gives any trouble, uh, let me know.

I own this mall, red.

So, what do you want for christmas, little girl?

Get real, you dime store phony!

Uncle rancid already bought me everything!

Whoa! Except that!

I want it, I want it...

I... Want... It!

Well, you're in luck, boys.

My niece wants you.

Name your price

And I'll throw you in the back of my limo.

Are you out of your mind?

Yeah, catdog is not for sale.

And on the day before christmas...

Huh!

At least there's a glimmer of christmas spirit left.

I... Want... The catdog!

Okay, so it's a very faint glimmer.

Cliff: ♪ the best part of christmas is being together... ♪

Hey!

Christmas dreams do come true!

Let's deck the halls with them!

Uh... Easy, fellas.

Uh... 'Tis the season to be jolly, right?

Uh... Bye-bye!

[ Yelling and laughing...]

Merry blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

[ Whispers] winslow, hey...

Did dog tell you what he got me for christmas?

That box was kind of shaped like a sports car key.

What are you, nuts?

Okay, so getting the car would be a christmas miracle.

[ Gulps] but christmas miracles happen all the time, right?

Not to you.

You'll never get what you want for christmas.

Never, ever...

Ever!

Ooh, wait till cat opens my present!

I just know he's been dying for a popsicle stick houseboat.

Dog, dog, dog...

The only way you'll have a merry christmas

Is by getting cat a sports car...

And you never will.

Cat loves my presents.

Oh, yeah? Then why does he always throw them away?

I guess so that the kids at the dump

Have something to play with?

Jeeze-louise, youse two are totally deluded.

Ho-ho-ho-ho.

Man, I love messing with their heads on christmas.

Mmm... There is nothing like the great taste of soap.

Oh, what's the point, dog?

Winslow's right... Christmas isa sucker's game.

But what about our great traditions?

Like what?

Like hanging our double star.

Ooh...!

Oh! Double star?!

We should call it the double scar!

Then what about the spirit of camaraderie with our friends and family?

What are you talking about?

We are our only family

And the only friends who ever come

Are winslow, eddie and the greaser dogs!

And we don't even invite any of them.

Some say crashing a party

Is the highest form of compliment.

Dog, everyone else is out there

With their fancy video games and solid gold toaster ovens

And our christmas stinks!

Want to know why?

Not enough stuff!

Look, wouldn't you like a nice, bright, shiny new bone?

Sure.

Uh-huh. And I know I'd like

A nice, bright, shiny new sports car.

Face it!

We need stuff.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I don't know-- are you thinking

About drinking out of the toilet bowl?

No. I have a better idea.

A much, much better idea.

[ Laughing...]

[ Laughing]

[ Cackling...]

Cat, why are we laughing?

You'll see.

[ Wailing...]

Do you want to keep your job here, lard butt?

I told you to keep track of that two-headed mutant.

Cat: uh, excuse me.

Rancid: it's you!

Sweetheart, uncle rancid

Found you the freak you wanted for christmas.

Been thinking about my offer?

We'll be rancine's plaything

But we want total access to all your stuff.

Freaks-- I mean, fellas-- it's a deal.

Cat, are you sure this is a good idea?

I feel sort of cheap.

Cheap, shmeap.

We're making a fortune.

While the rest of the suckers eat their dried-up turkey

I'll be driving a sports car

And you'll be gnawing on a giant t-bone!

You do like t-bones, don't you?

Are you kidding?

T-bone was my nickname at fat camp.

Where do we sign?

Just shake.

[ Mechanically]: ho... Ho... Ho... Ho-ho...

Ho... Ho... Ho... Ho-ho...

[ Grunting...]

Dog: only a few more hours and it's "hello, stuff."

Cat: and you know, I've got to agree

This was an idea with absolutely no down side.

Santa: I still can't believe it.

They sold themselves for christmas.

This is not what I had in mind

When I got involved in this whole christmas tradition!

Uh, hold it.

You're the real santa claus?

But kris...

Didn't dog show you

A tiny glimmer of christmas hope, huh? Come on.

Yes, but then he sold himself for christmas!

Does this mean there's an easter bunny?

There better be-- he owes me bucks.

Oh, christmas doesn't seem to make anyone happy anymore.

Maybe they'd be better off without it.

What catdog did was the final straw.

Christmas is canceled forever!

That's right, viewers--

Christmas has been canceled.

According to inside sources at the north pole

It's the fault of this strange-looking creature.

Why, that two-headed traitor!

I'm going to... I'm going to...

Murdalize them!

Yeah, that's it.

Where's catdog?

I wish I knew, the bums.

Oh, they better pray I don't find them.

[ Crunch] ow!

They'll pay for that, too.

Let's get them!

Dog: oh, christmas morning...

Open us up!

Catdog! All right!

I got totally ripped off this christmas.

Everything's gone

And you're the only present I got left

So you better be good!

We're the best, and we don't require batteries.

Let's go play with your stuff!

May I please have another bone?

[ Laughing]

[ Engine starts]

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo... [ Laughing]

I'm the king of the world! [ Laughs]

So, dog...

Is this the life, or is this the life?

I guess it's the life.

[ Laughs]

[ Gasps]

Dog!

[ Tires squeal]

Tree... Tree.. Tree...

[ Sniffing]

Say, cat, christmas isn't supposed to smell like sweaty metal.

[ Sniffing]

Yeah.

I miss our tree... And I miss our other traditions, too...

Even if you think they're stupid.

I like the double star.

Well...

It sure could catch the light.

Um...i may have made

A little christmas boo-boo this time, dog.

I think it's time to go home.

Well, hi-ho-ho-ho- diggity to that!

Uh, rancine, we made a terrible mistake.

You're telling me!

You just left a skid mark the size of wyoming!

Yes, it's wrong for us to be here like this.

So fare thee well, and merry chr...

A guy tried to welsh on a deal with me once.

I made a coffee table out of his shin bones.

Nice workmanship.

[ Thumping, grunting]

You're mine!

And you're not going anywhere!

No wonder you didn't get any other presents!

You're a very naughty girl!

And proud of it!

[ Crowd yelling...]

Come on out, you christmas-canceling cowards!

I was supposed to get a jet ski this year.

Guard, guard!

We've got one sick puppy on our hands!

Rancine:oh, man!

Why do all my toys break on christmas day?

Rancine: hey! Hey... Hey...

[ Groaning]

Cat, we can't just leave her like this.

[ Weakly]: help me...

You're right, dog.

Up you go!

Rancine: help me!

Somebody please help me!

[ Gasps]

Hmm...

[ Whimpering]

Ah...

There's our way out!

Hey, cat!

The door is open.

Ya... Hoo-hoo...

Whoa...

Hi-ho-ho-ho-diggity!

Ah... Home, sweet house.

And we still have five minutes left of christmas!

Time for the old traditions!

[ Both gasp]

Cat: our double tree...

And our christmas punch.

Cliff: aha!

Sweet revenge!

What's going on?

You jerks got christmas canceled!

What?!

You must have done

Something real heinous

'Cause santa is mad!

[ Gasps]

Oh...

And now, we're going to pound you!

Rancine: not so fast!

Catdog are my property

So I get to pound them first.

Then uncle rancid gets a sh*t

And then they're all yours.

Cat: it's my fault! I did it!

I sold myself for christmas and now it's gone forever

And I'm just so sorry!

It's all my fault...

Yeah, yeah, we know.

[ Weeping]

[ All growling]

Stop...!

You got this all wrong.

We can still have christmas.

Look!

Ta-da!

Dog...

It's our tree...

And our christmas punch.

You guys are both nuts!

That's just some junk and a bowlful of dirty water.

No, they're our christmas traditions, all of them.

You guys are even here, just like every year.

What are you, some kind of noel nincompoop?

We crashed your christmas party.

Come to think of it, that is just like every year.

Exactly! See, it's not the stuff that counts.

Christmas is about sharing with the people you're closest with

And that's all of us.

Dog's right.

We may not like it all the time

But face it, we're... You know, a family... Sort of.

And we could still celebrate christmas. Dog?

There...

Ha! You call that christmas?

All: oh...

It's beautiful!

[ Dog gasps]

It's warmy.

Jeeze-louise... It's christmas!

Catdog's right.

I guess we are family... Sorta.

We didn't cancel christmas.

Cat: yeah.

No one can.

Not even santa claus

Because christmas is in here.

Actually, no, it's more over...

Yeah, it's right here. Yeah.

Merry christmas, dog.

Merry christmas, cat.

[ Tearfully]: that's the most beautiful thing I ever saw.

With the possible exception of some stuff I saw when I was in the navy.

Merry christmas, catdog.

All: merry christmas!

[ Bells jingling, crash]

Ho-ho-ho...

Merry christmas!

Oh, santa...

I am so sorry.

No, catdog, I owe you an apology.

Granted, selling yourself for christmas was the most vile act imaginable...

Apology accepted, kringlekins.

But dog... You've shown us all the spirit of christmas

Is alive and well.

So christmas is back on!

[ Rattling]

Merry christmas, catdog.

And if you pull another stunt like that

One phone call and I cancel easter!

Oh!

A houseboat made out of popsicle sticks! That's...

Boy... That's just what I always wanted.

I knew it!

A bar of soap!

Delicious!

♪ Hanging a stocking

♪ Trimming the tree ♪

♪ Cracking a chestnut ♪

♪ Mistletoeing with me ♪

♪ Having yourself a nice snowball fight ♪

♪ That's what we do ♪

♪ On our christmas night ♪

[ Well-enunciated]: ♪ the best part of christmas is being together ♪

♪ Sharing the good times and singing a song... ♪

♪ There's nothing that's better than christmas with catdog♪

♪ I wish we could do it♪

♪ All the year long...♪

Shriek: where's catdog?

Winslow: I don't know.

Santa: merry christmas to all

And to all a good night!

Cat: oh...

Hey cat, I can see our house from here!

Oh, just get us down in one piece, rudolph!

Dog: garbage truck, garbage truck...!

Dog, no!

Ho-ho-ho...!

[ Dog laughing]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪