03x02 - Rodeo CatDog/Teeth For Two

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪





[ Dog yodeling western-style]

[ Humming]: di-duh-di-di...

I can't believe

I let you drag me here, dog.

State fairs are nothing but a feeding ground

For the feeble-minded.

Want some of my sugar-frosted deep-fried turkey leg on a stick?

Ooh, it's tempting, but no.

Now let's go.

Cat... I don't think that's the way out.

Oh, please...

My sense of direction is...

[ Crowd cheering]

Not as good as it used to be.

Bull!

No, really.

No, no, no... Bull!

[ Snorting...]

[ Screaming]

[ Crowd groans]

Guh...

Hello... Nice bullie

With the sharp horns and the hooves

And the snorting and the ferocious behavior.

Yikes!

Doubleyikes!

[ Panting...]

Whoo...!

[ Crowd cheering]

[ Screaming and thumping...]

[ Bull groans]

Let's get out of here, dog.

[ Crowd cheering]

Thanks for the ride, mr. Bull.

[ Sniffing]

Hold it!

You boys are naturals.

I could make you rodeo superstars.

Yee-ha.

Wowee!

Would we get to wear big cowboy hats?

You're darn tooting!

I'm in.

I'm out.

I wouldn't get back

On one of those blood-crazed bulls in a million years.

[ Crowd cheering...]

Rope 'em, ride 'em, tie 'em up.

Pardon me, pardners.

You're my hero, catdog.

Can I please have your autograph?

Hmm... Please?

Um... Well, su...

Well, sure, um...

I reckon that's okay.

Are you going to be riding again soon?

You bet your sweet chaps, little girl.

[ Giggles]

[ Kisses]

[ Crowd muttering happily]

[ Laughs, snorts]

Where do we sign?

Hi-ho diggity!

Hello, big hats!

[ Grunting]

Hold on, dog!

Whoo-hoo... Whoo-hoo!

[ Grunting...]

[ Blasts horn]

Whoa...!

Here, bull!

Shriek: bully, bull bull.

Wow, that is a big hamburger.

[ Growling]

Duh!

[ Thud]

Whoo-hoo!

Yee-ha!

[ Blasts]

[ All yelling]

[ Laughing]

[ Snorting]

[ Thud]

♪ Oh, I'm just a rodeo romeo ♪

♪ Breaking them bulls like you broke my heart ♪

♪ Oh, I'm just a cowtown cowpoke ♪

♪ Busting them broncs ever since we did part ♪

♪ Oh, rodeo sure is a lonely life ♪

♪ Cursing them cows 'cause you're sore all the time ♪

♪ When I should be smooching you up as my wife ♪

♪ I'm just busting big blisters on my big behind ♪

♪ When I should be smooching you up as my wife ♪

♪ I'm just busting big blisters on my big behind. ♪

[ Yodeling]

Well, if it isn't cat cassidy and the sundance dog.

There's a change in tonight's lineup.

Instead of riding marshmallow girl

You're going up against pointy horns mcgirk.

[ Gulps]

Hasn't he beaten and gored

Every rider he's ever, ever faced?

Yup, and a lot of people

Who were just sitting around the parking lot.

Oh, we don't care.

Bring him on.

We can lick anybody.

Right, pardner?

Ouch, ouch!

Pointy horns wanted

A quick word with you before the fight, okay?

Come on in, p.h.

[ Thumping and snorting]

Pleasure to make your acquaintance, gentlemen.

May I compliment you on your beautiful hats?

Much obliged.

Now, here's the deal, fellas.

You're both undefeated, so somebody's got to lose.

Ooh, should be exciting.

Wonder who will win.

Wonder no more.

It will be me.

A recent phone survey shows the fans want

Old pointy horns to win

So I want you to throw the rodeo.

You're going to let him win.

Never!

Never!

There'll be a nice payday in it for you.

Never!

How nice?

Plenty nice.

Sorry, boys, but the fix is in.

Catdog takes a dive.

We are not going to do it, are we, cat?

[ Sighs]

Listen, dawg.

I mean, listen, dog.

I'm hurting pretty bad over here and, well

I've been thinking about retiring soon anyway

And if we do this, we can get out with a couple of bucks!

[ Snorts]

It's time to hang up our spurs.

[ Blinking back tears]

[ Crowd cheering]

[ Snorting]

Cat, we can't take a dive.

What about our public?

You heard rancid.

The public wants pointy horns to win.

Oh, come on.

Phone survey, shmone shmurvey!

Just listen to that crowd.

[ Cheering...]

Five seconds till your big payday, boys.

I'm counting on you.

It's go time!

And we're away! Make it look good, eh?

[ Yelling]

Whoo-hoo-hoo...!

[ Yelling...]

[ Hawaiian music playing]

[ Yelling...]

That was your cue, gentlemen.

Please be so good as to slide off my trapeziums.

Well, I guess this is where we take a dive, huh, cat?

[ Crowd whooping]

Guess again, dog.

What?

We're a-gonna

Ride our hearts out, dog.

We owe it to our fans and to ourselves!

Yee-ha, diggity!

You've just made the biggest mistake of your lives.

And, coincidentally, the last.

[ Snorting]

[ Growling]

[ Cat and dog yelling...]

As rodeo clowns, aren't we honor-bound to help the cowboy in danger?

Yeah, but as greasers, we're honor-bound to let catdog get pounded.

Duh, I like pounded cake.

[ Grunting and yelling...]

Yee-ha. [ Laughs]

[ Gasps]

[ Chattering]

Huh?

Huh?

[ Screams]

Whoa.

[ Phone rings]

Hello?

It's for you.

Hello?

Get off my back!

[ Yelling...]

Hang on, cat, hang on!

Huh?

I got it, buddy.

Cat: yee-ha! Ride him, catdog!

[ Dog laughing]

Leaping lumbago!

Mcgirk, consider yourself mcbusted.

Ha! How'd you like them apples there, little missy?

You two-headed halfwit, I was counting on you to lose!

Didn't you hear about the phone survey?

Cat, they're throwing rotten vegetables.

They must love us.

[ Crowd booing]

Your rodeo days are over!

Let's get out of here.

Are you sure that's the way out?

Now, don't start that again.

Oops.

[ Growling]

Pretty kitty with the fangs and the claws

And the scratching and the look in your eye that says "I'm going to eat you!"

[ Roaring]

Cat: get along, little doggie!

Um, excuse me.

We have an appointment to see the dentist.

It is our first checkup ever.

Gee, I just knew today would be special.

Go on in.

I don't know what you're so happy about.

With all the garbage you eat

You're going to need extensive dental work.

[ Gulps]

Really?

Really.

With plenty of drilling and grinding

And excavation and scraping and...

Ow.

I'm in excruciating pain.

Okay, who's next?

Oh, save me!

Come on, dog, please.

Oh...

[ Whirring...]

[ Both scream]

We'll start with bowser here.

Open wide.

Ah...

Hmm...

Oh, my... Hmm...

A little wider, please.

Ah...

Will you look at that... Holy cow!

Ee...

Gosh.

Your teeth are perfect.

I told you, all that garbage... What?!

In fact, best choppers I've seen since the biker convention.

Go on, rinse.

Okay, spit.

[ Gulps]

Hmm, interesting.

All right, your turn, kitty. Open up.

Certainly.

[ Garbled]: if his teeth are good, mine must be spectacular!

I don't know what you've been eating

But the president should visit your mouth.

It's a disaster area.

That empop...

That's impossible! My diet is impeccable.

He's the one

Who eats garbage!

Make a wish.

Hmm, I'm going to give you two a catdog scan.

Oh, well, that explains it.

What is it, doc?

I've never seen anything like this before.

It's absolutely fascinating.

Watch this.

[ Cracking, screaming]

Yow!

Hey!

See?

Now, check this out.

Apparently, whatever one eats or does to his teeth

Affects the other one's teeth.

Oh, wait a minute, this isn't fair!

Neither is my billing policy.

But if rover there doesn't change

You're going to need surgery.

It's extremely expensive

And extremely painful.

Now, dog, you've got to start being more careful

About what goes into that garbage disposal you call a mouth!

Yes, cat.

[ Gurgling]

Good, because my dental health depends on it.

Do you understand, dog?

[ Gurgling]

[ Hissing]

[ Screaming]

Well, dog

It's time you expanded

Your horizons.

Artichokes, arugula...

Asparagus...

You're really going to love this.

Well...

Go on, dig in.

There now-- isn't that delicious?

Mmm... Very dusty.

Yeah. [ Humming and munching]

[ Muttering]

Oops, I better get that fork that fell.

Ow, ow, ow!

Dog!

Now, where did that fork go to?

Dog!

Uh-oh.

Oh... Why you...

Two can play this game, mister.

[ Crunching]

Ow, cat, cold, cold, freezing, freezing!

Ow...!

[ Growling]

No, dog...

Not... The aluminum...

Foil!

[ Chuckling]

Ah!

Oh... Ah... Oh...!

Truce, truce, truce.

[ Sighs]

Well, I'm glad we put our differences behind us, dog.

And as a peace offering, I baked you a cake.

A cake? What kind of cake?

Oh, just a little gristle and bone and sugar cake.

Oh, boy, my favorite.

Bon appetit.

[ Chuckling]

Ah...

Oh, that's good.

Yeah, that's it.

Hey... Dental floss?

[ Whistling]

Why, this cake is made out of nothing but... Toothpaste and fluoride.

Okay, maybe i, uh...

Skimped on the gristle a little.

Now, now, take it easy, dog... Dog...

No, don't...

Mmm... Mmm... Hmm... Minty.

[ Cat groaning]

Ooh, my teeth hurt!

Dog... Dog, you awake?

[ Snoring...]

[ Humming]

Oh! Darn it...

[ Yelling...]

Stay out of my mouth!

You've ruined my teeth

And now I'm going to ruin

Yours!

[ Chomping and munching]

Ow...!

Oh, yeah?!

[ Zapping]

Ow, ow, ow...!

[ Snarling....]

Dog: what are you doing?

[ Cat snickers]

Ow...!

[ Dog yipping]

[ Engine revving]

[ Dog screaming]

[ Siren wailing]

[ Humming]

[ Groaning]

Both: huh?!

[ Garbled]: uh... Dog?

[ Garbled]: yes, cat?

I apo... Gize.

Huh?

I apo... Gize.

Hmm?

I...

[ Clearly]: I apologize.

[ Garbled]: I apo... Gize, too.

What?

[ Both whimpering]

Doctor, the next ten payments on your speedboat

Are here to see you.

Hmm...

Medials, occlusals... Mm-hmm.

Bicuspids, okay... Uh-huh.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you down to the gums

And do a total buildout.

I'll be right back.

Is this going to be... P-p-painful?

No. Oh, I suppose my wrist might start to hurt after a while...

Ah, here it is.

[ Cat and dog screaming]

Man, do I love that boat.

Breathe deep and count backwards from .

Cat and dog: one hun...

There... All done.

Why, they're beautiful!

Oh, boy, I can't wait

To do some chomping with these chompers!

But I promise to be careful about what i...

Cat, does your skin feel funny?

A classic food allergy.

Eat anything strange lately?

Must be from all that garbage we ate.

Our skin is breaking out!

No problem-- I double as a dermatologist.

Cat and dog: that's a relief.

We'll just shave you down and dip you in an acid bath.

Cat and dog: that's not.

It's extremely expensive and extremely painful.

[ Whimpering]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪