03x05 - Remain Seated / Dogcatcher in the Rye

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪





Dog: you have big funny teeth

Mr. Parsnip man.

All the better to eat you with, turnip.

Aah! I'm a potato! Aah!

I will save you, friend spud.

Ah, it doesn't get any better than this, does it, cat?

Dog, I'm bored.

Aw, you want to chew?

No, no.

I've done everything remotely exciting in this one-horse town.

Oh, dog, I want action.

I want thrills.

I want... Mervis and dunglap?

Catdog, did you hear the news?

I'm going to tell them.

I heard about it first.

No way, I can tell it better!

[ Grunting...]

All right, all right, all right.

Break it up, you two.

Now, what's going on?

We got jobs at theme park world land.

And they just opened the most amazing colossal roller coaster.

Rolly coaster?

The butt buster.

It goes miles an hour...

It's stories high and it has

Bodacious loops.

Hey! I was going to give them the specs.

We got you free tickets.

Hey, I was supposed to give them those.

Cat, this is just what you've been wanting and wishing and waiting for.

Today, we ride the rolly coaster!

Yeah... It, it sounds... Sounds ex... Citing.

[ Cat whimpering]

There it is, in all its glory...

The butt buster.

[ People screaming in distance]

That looks, uh, great.

Let's go, let's go!

Wait, wait a minute, dog.

Let's, uh... Try some other rides first.

Whee, isn't... Isn't this fun, dog?

Aw, this isn't fun.

This is for babies.

Cat, I want to go on the butt buster.

Cliff: it's sweet widdle catdoggie

On the gweat big aiwy-pwane.

[ All laugh]

Don't go too fast.

You might break the sound barrier.

I hope you have your para... Par...

Pair of shoes, heh-heh.

Cat, this is embarrassing.

Hey, we'll see youse wimps later.

We're going on the butt buster.

So are we.

You? Ha!

I hear it's so fast

Your underwear comes off.

I hear you puke your guts out.

Duh... I hear a little singing monkey in my head sometimes.

Well, we're going to ride it.

Ha! That'll be the day.

[ All laughing]

We are going to ride it

Aren't we, cat?

Of course we are.

Right after we check out something

That's even more exciting.

[ Organ plays intro]

♪ Waters of the world ♪

♪ For every boy and girl ♪

♪ Water we can share ♪

♪ Love is everywhere... ♪

Cat, let's go.

This is horrible.

I'm going on the butt buster.

Wait, the best part is coming up.

Cat, you're not afraid of going on the butt buster, are you?

What? Me? Af... Afraid of the butt buster?

Oh, dog...

Why I love nothing more than going miles an hour

Through upside down loops stories high.

Hi-ho diggity!

Let's go!

No, no, no! Let's... Let's get something to eat first.

Yeah... Uh, yes, I will have a...

Butter on a stick... Please.

Enjoy.

Yummy, mmm.

You want one, dog?

I don't want to eat, I don't want to go on baby rides

And I don't want to see any more water!

I want to go

On the butt buster... Now!

But... We just ate, yes, and we have to wait at least an hour-- ooh, maybe two--

And, and then there's the penny arcade

And the choo-choo train.

Oh, no...

Look at this line.

Well, I guess we'll have to come back another time.

Mervis: hey, catdog!

I can get you to the head of the line.

Use the employee entrance.

Dog: whoopee!

Cat: no, no, no.

[ Groaning]

"You must be this high to go on this ride."

Oh, gee... I don't think we're tall enough, dog.

Too bad. What a shame. Gosh darn it.

See, cat, we're tall enough.

Well, if it ain't the flying wimpos.

Your mommy say you can ride the big ride now? [ Laughs]

Duh, my mommy wants me to wear this.

[ People screaming...]

[ Chattering]

We're going to ride this thing

Ten times.

Uh, dog, can I speak to you for a moment?

I don't want to ride this.

It's too big, too scary, and too fast.

Come on, it'll be fun.

There's nothing to be afraid of and it'll be over in two minutes.

And I'll be right there beside you.

Well... [ Gulps] okay.

Whoo-ee!

I'll tell you what, I was pulling some g's.

See, cat? They loved it.

Row number one.

[ Whimpering]

Oh, boy, cat, we got the front seat.

Lucky us.

Remain seated.

Keep your arms, legs and paws

Inside the vehicle at all times.

Uh, mervis, is this ride safe?

Sure, it's safe.

[ Screams]

[ Whimpering]

[ Whimpers]

Don't worry.

Nothing bad can happen.

You're doing it all wrong.

Because you're helping.

Put it like this.

[ Grunting]

No, that's okay, guys, I'll do it.

[ Cat whimpers, screams]

It's safe, nothing bad can happen.

It's safe...

It's safe, nothing bad can happen.

Is it over?

Nope.

[ Screaming...]

[ Gagging and whimpering...]

[ Screaming...]

[ Dog whooping...]

It's safe, nothing bad can happen.

It's safe, nothing bad can happen.

It's safe, nothing bad can happen.

[ Cheering]

Boo!

[ Laughs]

Scaredy-cat, scaredy-cat.

He's a big baby.

Big chicken cat.

[ Beeping]

Uh-oh! Oh, no, catdog's in trouble.

I got to stop the ride.

Hey, that's my job.

You're doing it all wrong.

[ Grunting]

Now look what you did.

I'm the king of the coaster! Yeah! Yeah!

[ Laughing]

[ Screaming...]

Ow!

Ow!

Duh...

Thanks, mama!

[ Both screaming...]

Mommy, mommy... I'm scared!

[ Shrieking]

La la la la, singing monkeys.

[ Grunting]

[ Screaming...]

All: yow....!

[ Screaming...]

[ Screaming]

Whoa...!

Hold on, cat!

[ Gibbering]

[ Screaming...]

Whoo...

Aah...!

Cat, save yourself!

[ Screams]

Hey, I told you guys to remain seated.

[ Grunting]

[ Laughing]

No!

[ Screaming...]

Hey, your own vomit doesn't taste too bad the third time down.

That was worse than my senior prom.

Duh... Why are my pants wet?

[ Crying]

Oh, cat, I'm sorry.

I never should have made you go on that ride.

No more rolly coasters ever, okay, cat?

Cat?

That was the single greatest moment of my life!

I want to go higher, faster, more, more, more!

[ Laughing wildly]

What a coincidence.

They just opened a new ride-- the brain pulverizer.

Miles an hour!

Loops through rain, sleet, snow and fire.

At one point your brain actually falls out of your head.

Well, all righty.

Then why are we wasting time talking?

Let's ride!

[ Laughing wildly]

[ Dog yelling...]

[ Coins clinking]

Nearburg may be a small, jerkwater town

But being mayor still has its perks.

[ Sighs]

What, what, what?

This tub is supposed to be full of gold coins!

Hmm, looks like it's time

To start fleecing the public again.

[ Oompah band playing...]

[ Yelling...]

Cliff: yeah, you better run!

[ Laughing]

Can't you go any faster, dog?

They're gaining on us.

Faster?

Shriek: trapped, like a two-headed rat.

You know, I like the chasing, but I love the pounding.

You know, I like, uh...

Little baby ducks.

Quack.

[ Whirring]

Hey, what the...?

Rancid: got you.

Get your stinking paws off of me, you darn dirty rabbit.

Say, what do you think you're doing?

I'm arresting him for not having a dog license.

Dog license?

Since when do we need licenses?

Since I made it a law five minutes ago.

Lube!

Run!

Duh... Okay.

I'm beginning to suspect that lube is stupid.

Any other unlicensed canines around here?

Uh, nope, just me, a little old cat.

You know, uh, meow, purr, purr, et cetera, et cetera, so forth.

[ Grumbles]

Thanks, cat, that was close.

This is a beautiful moment, dog.

The greasers are gone!

[ Grunting...]

Let me out of here!

This is a grave injustice.

Duh, I like gravy and juice.

You want out, you got to get a license.

You want a license, you got to take a test.

You want to take a test, you got to pay.

What kind of test?

Uh, eh... A dog test.

What's a dog test?

You'll see, pooch, you'll see.

Dog, this is fantastic.

Now that they're locked up

We can go anywhere we want

Without worrying about the greasers.

No, we can't go anywhere.

If I go out there

That big greedy green bunny

Is going to throw me in the clink!

Oh, don't worry, dog.

No one's going to come after you here.

[ Doorbell rings]

Rancid: open up!

I know you've got

At least half a dog in there.

That's it.

As mayor, I grant myself a search warrant.

Huh?

Who are you?

[ With heavy accent]: um... I'm, uh... The cleaning lady.

[ Laughs nervously]

Hmm. All right, but you tell that dog

I'll be back.

By the way, you missed a spot.

[ Engine starts]

[ Dog groaning]

That was close.

[ All muttering]

Has everybody paid?

Okay, it's test time.

You first.

Let's hear you bark like a dog.

Duh... Bark woof.

Nope... Your turn.

No problem.

[ Howls]

Closer.

I got this.

[ Barks]

Who was the m.v.p. Of the world series?

Yogi berra.

Don larsen.

Of course-- the perfect game.

What does that have to do with being a dog?

Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to try again.

[ Laughing]

Hmm, still not enough.

Catch the ball, butterfingers!

Let's see you catch it, lame-o.

You're under arrest for not having a pig license.

[ Laughs]

You're under arrest for not having a weasel license.

No squirrel license.

Hey!

No rat license.

No elephant license.

No gopher license.

No monkey license.

No bird license.

And you...

You're under arrest for not having a...

Not having a, a...

Not having a license. [ Laughs]

Can we please go home now?

A little while longer, dog.

It's just so glorious out

With no greasers on the street.

But no one's on the street!

I'm a-scared.

Dog, what could you possibly be a-scared of?

Yikes!

Okay, both of you, into the truck.

You're under arrest for not having a dog license ora cat license.

That... That... That is where

You're mistaken, my good man.

I do have a cat license.

A what?

But who ever heard of a cat license?

Well, it was quite a few years ago.

You guys should pick up some of these groovy licenses.

License? No way, man.

That would harsh my mellow, dude.

Yeah, man.

We don't need licenses.

I don't understand.

If we don't need them

Why are you getting one, cat?

Because I believe in being prepared.

He also believes in being a loser.

[ All laughing]

Well, the cat's got me on a technicality

But I've still got you.

I guess you're safe and I'm sorry.

Cat, help me.

But how can I help you?

I'm just a loser.

[ Laughing]

Whoa...!

No greasers to pound me, no dog to pester me.

Ah, this is the life.

[ Kisses]

I knew this was a good idea.

[ Door clangs open]

[ All yelling]

Bow wow wow.

Uh... Arf.

Uh... No.

Uh, woof.

No, wait-- bark.

What's the atomic weight of beryllium?

.

.-- Sorry.

Wha... This is a tough test.

No problem.

You'll all have plenty of time to pass.

As long as you all have plenty of money.

This is a bunch of garbage!

We got to do something.

I got to bust out of this hole!

I miss the fresh air.

Duh, I miss the sunshine.

Mr. Sunshine: I'm right here.

Dog: excuse me, this seat's taken.

Cliff: hey, who's the new guy?

Duh... He looks familiar.

He looks kind of cute.

Hey, pal, listen up.

We're thinking about planning a break.

You got any ties to anyone on the outside?

Hmm... I might know a guy.

Well, reach out to him and see if he'll help.

Cat... Cat...

Cat, I need your help.

Well, you should have, uh... [ Sniffing]

Thought of that before.

You've got to help me.

This place is a nightmare.

You should have got a license.

But it's scary and smelly

And there's big nasty elephant butts everywhere.

[ Crying]

Oh, I wish I could help, but... [ Chuckles]

It's meal time.

Guard: meal time!

Eww... Cruel.

Enough's enough.

Don't worry, buddy, I'll get you out of there!

That'll work.

Hey, the new guy came through!

Give me that.

Hey, shriek, this is no time for a manicure.

Oh, yeah?

[ Grunting]

[ No dialogue]

Huh? Leaping lumbago!

Hey!

What, what, what?

[ Yelling...]

Hey, uh, hey, uh...

Come on now, fella.

What do you have to do to get out of here?

Duh... Um, bark like a rabbit.

[ Laughs]

Hey, come back, come back!

Whoa...

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪