01x10 - Notes/Best Friends

[bunniefuu]

Boy: in a middle school full of bullies,

Insane teachers,

And gross school lunches,

Ned bigby--that's me-- and my two best friends

Try to do the impossible:

Create a guide that will help you survive school.

Man: ♪ turn it up

♪ Looking out

♪ I'll survive with no doubt

♪ Never fear

♪ Bring it on

♪ Breaking down what's in my way ♪

♪ And I'm

♪ Finding my place in this world ♪

♪ And i...

Boy: "ned's declassified school survival guide."

Your results may vary.



Sometimes you have to tell your friend something

And it cannot wait till after class,

So you pass them a note.

Ned, pass this note to suzie.

Here are some tips on the best way to pass a note and not get caught.

Don't physically pass the note.

Use a foot note instead.

If you go paperless and text message your note,

Make sure your ringer is turned off.

[Cell phone rings]

Now, I'm not telling you to pass notes,

But if you do, be careful.

Pass this to suzie.

Hand it over, mr. Bigby.

No notes in my class, mr. Bigby!

Now you owe me a ,-word paper on cell division.

But I didn't write it.

Well, then, who did?

Thanks a lot.

Now I have to write a ,-word report on cell division.

And whose fault is that?

Next time, don't get caught.

I got a love note!i need a late note.

You go first.

Someone wrote me a secret love note.

It's a little sappy, but it's really nice, too.

And it's written in calligraphy.

Yeah, on second thought, you go first.

I was late for gym, and now dirga wants a note.

Why were you late?

Yeah! Oh, yeah! Whoo!

Ha ha ha!

Mop bucket chicken.

If I don't get dirga a note from a teacher

Explaining why I was late,

I'll owe her , push-ups.

What am I going to do?

Have you heard of le forger?

Le forger? Who's that?

He's a mysterious figure who is the best note forger in school.

Nobody knows his true identity.

How do I meet him?

Get a box of coconut macaroons.

That's how he likes to be paid.

Go to the lunchroom bulletin board and leave a note.

Then he'll contact you.

Hey, ned, could you pass this note to yourself?

[Girls laugh]

I can't believe you're going to take the rap for bitsy

And write that report.

I have to write the report.

What else am I going to do? Be a rat?

I got another love note.

Somebody wrote you a love note?

Yeah. I found it today and--

Why am I telling you?

You would never understand.

Anyway, I think seth wrote them.

Orange... Orange...orange!

Yeah, he's clearly a deep thinker.

He's clearly a hottie,

And he's in my history class,

Which is where I found the first note.

It's got to be seth.

[Bell rings]ok, young people.

Please put your projects on the table in the back.

I'll get to them as soon as possible.

Ok. Needs to be subtle.

Work the love note into the conversation

And get him to admit he wrote it.

Did you write this love note?

No. This is so sappy.

I write poems.

Do you want to hear one?

Roses are red, basketballs are orange.

I'm kind of stuck after that.

Do you know a word that rhymes with orange?

Chandra, do you know whose project this is?

I think it's loomer's.

Loomer's?!

Le forger: enter.

I need a note.

Le forger: shh!

The coconut macaroons?

Mmm.

How can I help you?

Ok, cook. Note accepted, so no push-ups.

Hey. How's the ,-word report coming?

Only , words to go.

How's your supersappy secret love note writer search going?

I think it was written by loomer.

Excuse me.

Loomer?!

Do you think there's a romantic deep inside loomer?

No, but there's daisies.

Le forger's note worked!

And for only boxes of coconut macaroons,

He'll give me his personal pager number.

I'll have access /.

I can do anything I want, and no one can stop me.

Yeah, I'm sure that'll go well.

This is k*lling me.

I need to get a sample of loomer's handwriting

And find out if he wrote these love notes.

Yeah, I should get back to work on my project.

Did I mention it has to be , words?

♪ , , ,

[Beeping]

♪ Too much of a good thing can be a great thing ♪

♪ Don't try to stop me now

♪ Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo

♪ Too much of the best

♪ So can you feel me now?

♪ Whoo-hoo

♪ Too much of a good thing can be a great thing ♪

♪ Don't try to stop me now

No!

A ,-word report.

I don't even know , words.

Tell me about it.

I owe a -page report on the pythagorean theorem.

I can't stand bitsy.

Let me guess.

She asked you to pass a note,

And you got nabbed.

That's what happened to me.

Kids: me, too!

I say we give bitsy a taste of her own medicine.

Yeah!

I say we come up with a diabolical plan

To get bitsy in trouble.

Yeah!

I say we finish our projects first

So we don't get in more trouble.

Yeah.

[Sighs]

This is it. I'm going in.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I know you wrote these.

Did you like them?

Actually, yeah.

I don't get it.

You b*at people up and then you write beautiful love notes?

I'm a complex individual.

What are these?

Ooh, sappy love notes. Who wrote these?

[Gasps]

I don't write love notes.

I eat them.

[Muffled] she's just kidding around.

Right, jennifer?

Tell them you're just kidding around.

Right, I'm just kidding around.

Oh, man!

Man, we were scared for a second. Ha ha!

We knew these notes were forged, cook.

We've been trying to nab le forger all year,

So we followed you.

Your note passing days are over!

And now you've led us right to le forger's lair.

[Teachers laugh]

[Laughter stops]

[Owl hoots]

Your paper, mr. Bigby?

Bitsy, could you pass this note to coconut head?

Bitsy, could you pass this note along?

Uh, i...

Uh, i...i...i...i mean...

But i...but...

Bitsy got busted with so many notes,

She has to write sweeney a ,-word report on chlorophyll.

Loomer wrote me a love note, and then he ate it.

And I have to get a note explaining everything I did signed by my mother.

I'm dead meat.

At least le forger got away.

Mmm.

Ned: best friends.

They keep each other's secrets,

Understand each other's problems,

And sometimes hack into the school's server

And change the lunch menu

Because you hate brussels sprouts.

Done. Today's vegetable: candy corn.

Now for tomorrow's...

Ned: and best friends always look out for each other,

Even though sometimes they do butt heads.

Helmets!

Good morning, losers. Ha ha ha!

And best friends always stand together.

Hey, how would you like to be a k*ller b-e-e?

And get this supercool k. B. J-a-c-k-e-t?

You want cookie and me to be k*ller bees?

Just cookie, not you.

You are so c-o-o-l.

King bee: yeah!

Yearbook survey. Pass them back.

Yearbook survey. Pass them back.

Yearbook survey. Pass them back.

Yearbook survey. Pass them back.

: You're not on the yearbook,

And : what are you up to?

You know how you and cookie

Always come up with these plans

That I say are really crazy,

But then they work out in the end?

I'm familiar with the process.

"Do you like volleyball? Yes or no?

Is math your favorite subject? Yes or no?"

This is just a yes or no quiz on things you like.

Yes, I know.

I pass it out, and the girl who scores the highest

Becomes my new best friend.

It's crazy, right?

Oh, yeah.

But not as crazy as the whole cookie/ k*ller bee thing.

...e-e.[Laughter]

You're the dude, man!

They're up to something.

Don't sweat it.

Cookie is not dumb enough

To get mixed up with those mean spelling jerks.

Yo, ned, what do you t-h-i-n-k?

I think the k*ller bees are evil.

I thought so, too, until they started being really nice to me.

Why would the k*ller bees want you to be with them?

It doesn't make sense.

What, you don't think

I'm tough, cool, or smart enough to be a bee?

No, no, you're...smart.

But not cool or tough enough.

So I'm just some big old digital freak

Not worthy of the k. B. J-a-c-k-e-t.

Don't spell at me.

All I'm saying is they're up to something.

Ned's just jealous he wasn't asked to join,

And now he's l-o-n-e-l-y.

I am not...lonely.

In fact, I'm hanging with the coolest guy in school.

Seth! sh**ting hoops later?

All right, you're the best, dude!

Later.

Aw, yeah, man! You're the coolest! Ha ha!

Do yourself a favor and skip the chopped chuck on mash.

Why?

Try the candy corn.

So, how's your crazy find-a-best-girlfriend plan going?

Grading them as we speak.

Boy. Boy.

Eww, crabgrass.

[k*ller bees laughing]

Don't worry about cookie.

He just wants the jacket.

I'm not worried.

Even if you hate the bees,

You got to love those jackets.

Aah!

Somebody just scored on my survey!

Aah!

Aah!

Doris trembly?

Oh, you're not going over there, are you?

I have to.

She scored .

All right. I'm here if you need me.

But please don't need me.

What do you want?

I swear I found it!

You can't prove a thing! It was her!

No, I just wanted to say hi,

And maybe sometime we could talk.

What's ned like? Will he go out with me?

[Girls talk simultaneously]

You are the m-a-n!

Queen bee: you are so c-o-o-l.

Ah, that was sweet!

And soon you will be a b-e-e.

k*ller bees: oh!

Hey, losers!

Where's the other loser head?

[Laughter]

He's a bee? I hate the bees!

Nice jackets, though.

Orange...

Ha ha ha ha!

That's hilarious, seth!

Oh, and I'll see you at my party tonight.

Ha ha! You're hilarious!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Man, it's great to be buddies.

Ha ha. Gotta go. Bye.

Forget ned.

You're a bee now.

When do I get the jacket?

Soon. S-o-o-n. Soon.

Now as an official member of the crew,

Tell us more about ned!

Does he like to swim?

[Girls talk simultaneously]

Or, or, or...could we do something else?

Well...we could rearrange your face.

Baby inspection!

Remember, this week's assignment was treating diaper rash.

You were supposed to wash and powder your baby.

Oh, tell me you washed the baby!

Ohh!

I am very disappointed in you boys.

Wow, she's going to need some heavy-duty soap to clean her up.

I'll be back in minutes.

Don't give me that look.

I was b-u-s-y.

Don't spell at me.

I hate it when you spell at me.

It was your turn to wash the baby. So wash it!

Why don't you get your new best buddy seth to wash the baby?

"Oh, seth, party at my house.

Great. Love ya. Bye!"

New tip for the guide:

Who needs you, anyway?

Kids: fight! Fight!

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Hello, everybody!

Along with my partner, olympic gold medallist willie gault,

I'm van earl wright welcoming you to

Ned and cookie's first big fight ever.

Kids: fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

New tip for your stupid little guide:

Back off, 'cause I'm a bad man!

You mean you're a digital dork and so not a cyborg, ever!

Kids: ohh!

So, willie, who do you like in this fight?

Nobody.

And I'm not sure if these guys could even b*at up a third-grader.

You do not want some of this!

Oh, you do not want any of this!

Somebody hit somebody!

Willie, what kind of advice would you give to friends who fight?

My advice is don't fight. Talk it out.

Because things could get ugly quick,

And this thing is ugly in all kind of ways.

Oh, I'm waiting!

Me, too!

Kids: us, too!

[Record scratch]

[Crickets chirp]

[Bell rings]

King bee: cookie!

We've been looking for you. Come on.

Uh-oh. It looks like the k*ller bees

Are here to back up cookie.

I think this fight that never really was a fight,

More like a tough pose contest, is over.

Wanna hit the cafeteria?

Let's do it.you're buying.

Excuse me while I buzz o-f-f.

Fine. Leave me here with the baby

While you go hang out with your friends!

We have your jacket.

Oh, but there's one little thing you have to do

Before you can become an official k*ller bee.

What?

You have to hack into the school's computer system

And change our math grades from cs to as.

Change your math grades?

No way! I'll get expelled.

Ned was right about you guys.

Hey, cook.

We tried being nice to you,

And we tried giving you this nice jacket.

But now we're telling you.

No. I won't.

Change our math grades, or you're going d-o-w-n.

The cyborg said no.

Ned, what are you doing here?

I don't know.

I saw it in a movie,

But now it seems really, really wrong.

I'm sorry. This is all my fault.

I should've washed the baby.

No, I'm sorry. I felt left out.

You're totally cool and tough.

Hey! Quit the sweet buddy-buddy talk

And save it for the hospital.

Hey! Do you kids have hall passes?

Ok, great.

Now it's time to kick some b-u-t-t.

Back off, or I'll make you back off.

Both: aah!

King bee: oh, yeah, mosley?

You and what army?

Oh, right, that army.

[Bell rings]

Ha ha ha!

You never really know who your true friends are

Until your back's to the wall.

She helped me save you guys' butts,

But I have nothing in common with doris.

I have no idea how she aced my fake yearbook survey.

Doris: survey?

That wasn't a study hall quiz I cheated on?

Cheated on?

Yeah. I copied all the answers from crabgrass.

Crabgrass?!

Suzie crabgrass scored % on my best friend quiz?!

She's really scared of us.

That's it. I'm out. Sorry.

Fine.

You're all wrong for the crew, anyway.

To wear this jacket, you have to love being tough

And love talking about ned.

[Girls laugh]

So then what did ned do?

Then ned ran into the girls' room...accidentally!

Ned: so, if you hit a best friend rough spot,

Talk it out, 'cause anything is better than fighting.

So things with you and cookie are cool?

Oh, yeah.

He got a nice jacket even though

He didn't join the bees.

So what are you doing tonight?

Oh, I don't know.

Hey, ned.

I'm psyched for your party tonight.

I hope you don't mind, but I invited a few friends.

All: see you tonight, ned!

I think I'm having a party.