01x25 - From Badge to Worse

[bunniefuu]

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♪♪♪

Duncan: You know the rules: on the count of three

we pop the lids and breathe deep.

Last guy to hurl, wins.

- Let's do this!

Yeeeeah!

- Time to separate the shrimps from the sharks.

Ready... set... - And you're already my friend.

And you're already my friend.

- Free sticker!

- And you're already my friend. - If you say so.

- Wanna play with us? - What're you playing?

- Sniff It 'Til You Barf. - It's fun!

- Um, even if I wasn't on a mission right now,

that'd still be a hard no.

- What's got you so stressed out?

- I need to earn my "make a new friend" badge.

You know, for my Wilderness Girls Badge Sash!

Every achievement earns you a badge.

I've gotten badges for pitching a tent, making fire,

and taking out my own appendix.

So far, I'm the only Wilderness Girl who's gotten that one!

(Machine beeps)

Safety scissors.

Come on, Courtney,

be (slap) more (slap) brave! (Slap)

(Readying exhales)

All: Ewww!

Duncan: Okay, that is kinda cool!

- There are badges in total.

I have three of them.

- Wow! That means...

♪♪♪

- Hey! You tricked me into doing matha-mathics!

- You're almost halfway done!

- So what happens if you get the last badge?

- Not "if", when.

And I don't know,

no-one's ever done it before!

- Maybe you get a lifetime supply

of Wilderness Girl cookies!

Duncan: Or maybe they'll give you a yacht

that we can borrow and party on.

- Those are ridiculous ideas.

If I had to guess,

they'll probably build a massive statue of me

at the Wilderness Girls' World Headquarters.

(Pigeon cooing)

Get out of here, bird!

Nobody poops on me!

I just need to make one new friend,

get them to sign this form, and I make history!

So... later.

- (Chuckles) Huh? - Hmm...

- C'mon, guys, Sniff It 'Til You Barf time.

Ready. Set. Go.

(Smell whooshes, big inhales)

(Gagging sounds)

- Already my friend.

Already my friend. Already my friend.

Ugh! How am I going to make a new friend

if I'm already friends with everyone?

(Door slides open, bat squeaks)

- We're not friends. - Are you sure?

This has to be legit.

- What's the name of my doll? - Um...

(Buzzer buzzes)

What's my favourite natural disaster?

- Tsunami? (Buzzer buzzes)

- Where'd I bury my old iguana?

- Your backyard? (Buzzer buzzes)

- No.

- (Humming happily)

(Screaming)

k*ller lizard!

- That iguana was alive.

- I never said it was dead.

- Ohhhh-kay.

- So you gonna try and make me a friend or what?

- Umm... I'm, I...

I'll think about that and-and g-get back... to you.

- Whatever. (Door ratchets closed)

- (Whimpers) Whew!

There must be somebody else.

(Retching and coughing)

- (Laughs)

Winner and still champion!

- Maybe I can be friends with something other than people?

Can we be friends?

(Liquid sloshes)

Are you sure?

(Liquid sloshes)

(Ding!)

(Sighs)

♪♪♪

(Tree rumbles and growls)

Courtney: (Sad) Oh.

Hello, my new friend.

(Phone rings) Hello.

What? Why can't a fish be my friend?

You're such sticklers for rules!

Darn it, I really respect that.

(Muffled chatter, dial tone) Well, that's it then.

I guess I'm gonna have to make Gwen my new friend.

(Loud thunderclap, lightning strikes)

(Gulp)

Ding-dong!

Hello? I said ding-dong!

Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!

(Banging) I know you're in there, Gwen.

Open your egg! Hatch! (Shaking chair)

- Looking for me? - Ahhhhhh!

(Catches breath)

I've been thinking. We could be great friends.

- I don't think we'd have fun. - What?

I'm totally fun!

See? That's my "party hearty" badge.

Watch this.

Ain't no party like a Courtney party.

That's not even proper grammar -

that is how far off of the hook I can be!

- I had a friend once. She was really cheerful.

We're not friends anymore.

That is all.

(Party favour toots)

- Ugh... I don't know.

- C'mon. Give me a try.

We can play whatever you want.

- Are you sure you want to do this?

- Absolutely.

I'm totally open to new experiences with a new friend.

- Fine. But we do everything my way.

- (Worried whimper)

(Dramatic music)

- You can't say I didn't warn her.

- I'm sure it's worth it.

- I know I'm gonna regret this.

It could turn out to be a total disaster.

(Wistfully) Which could be fun.

- Okay, okay. Battle for second place.

- Come on, Harold, one more round.

I'm not gonna let this four week-old curry take me down!

- Ready? Set. Go!

(Smell whooshes, gagging)

Gwen: This is called "Monster Toy".

You take three toys...

(Smash) Mess 'em up bad...

then make an all-new toy out of the parts.

- Oh! - Now you.

- I have to break daycare property?

- Yes, and the more broken, the better.

- (Poof) You don't have to do this, Courtney.

- (Poof) Yes, you do...

if you want that badge.

- Do it for the badge!

(Fake cheerful) Okay. Here goes.

(Light tap) - Seriously?

(Smashing)

That felt wrong, but what a rush.

(Speedy arranging)

Gwen: Um... no.

(Speedy rearranging)

Better. Try again.

(Speedy rearranging)

Hmm. Surprising!

Maybe we actually could be friends.

- Awesome! - (Clears throat)

- I mean...

(Flatly) awesome.

Oh, I know what these are!

I'm supposed to tell you what I see in the ink splotches

so you can tell me how my brain works, right?

- No. They're worms.

I put 'em between the pages and...

(Slams book shut) they stay put

and I don't have to use glue.

- Clever... I guess.

But why do you do that?

- Can you think of a better thing to do with worms?

- Hmm...

(Slurping)

(Sizzling)

♪♪♪

(Thump) - Ow!

- Actually... no.

I can't think of anything better to do with worms.

(Book slams shut)

Gwen: This is my favourite game.

Go ahead. Flip the switch.

- Flipping a light switch is a game?

- Are we playing together or not?

(Switch clicks, loud scream, crashing thuds)

- Gwen?! Courtney?!

Oh no! Did Gwen tell you I'm afraid of the dark?

B-b-because I'm not! (Switch clicks)

(Blood-curdling scream, breathing hard)

- Oops! My finger slipped.

- This was supposed to be our secret!

- (Chuckles)

Who knew exposing other kids' deepest fears

could be so much fun?!

- Pretty good game, huh?

- Awesome game.

Who else can we scare?

(Rolling rasp)

- Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Shark attack!

(Hard thud) Ungh!

(Moaning)

- Ahhhhh! Zombies!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

(Light thump)

(Hissing)

- Ahhhhh!

Good thing I'm still in diapers.

Ahhhhhhhh! - I am loving this!

Who's left?! Who's left?!

- There's Chef, but he's kind of tricky.

- I've got lots of ideas!

We can fill his car with angry cats!

(Cats yowl, Chef screams) Or seal Chef in his office.

Chef: What's going on out there?!

(Screaming, laughing and cheering)

Or even blow up the entire building!

- Whoa. How about we just do the old can prank?

- I'm good with that.

(Door squeaks open)

- Ooh! Pretzels.

Oh, it's empty.

(Tightens rope) - Good to go.

(Hard slap, high-pitched whinny)

(Winding sound) - Ahh-ahh-ahhhh!

Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!

- (Laughing hysterically)

- Hah, hah. (Loud crash)

- Wow. I haven't laughed that hard in like...

ever.

- Are we actual friends now?

- I guess we are. (Light thump)

- Yes! Please sign on the dotted line.

- What is this?

- Verification for my "Make a new friend" badge.

- (Growing angry) So all this time,

you were just using me? - Umm...

Uh, well...

- (Angrier) Gaining my trust? Tricking me?

- (Nervous) Um...

- Assuming that I wouldn't be furious

when I found out the truth?! - (Terrified whimper)

(Non-pulsed) Well played. (Pencil scribbles)

- (Nervous Chuckle) Th-thanks?

(Cheering and clapping)

So when do we unveil the statue of me?

I mean, there has to be some kind of prize

for the being the first one to earn all the badges!

(Light thump) A cookie?

Why is...? (Loud rumbling) Oh no!

(Loud crash)

- I was right! (Eating noisily)