01x50 - Harold Swatter and the Goblet of Flies

[bunniefuu]

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- Oooooooh! I found a rock!

- Yep. That's a rock.

- (Gasp) And here's a giant horned rabbit head!

This is so heavy it's forcing my neck into my body.

That was a pretty big rabbit.

(Gasp of awe) A maaagic wannnd.

- Owen, that's a stick.

- I don't know. I just saw that movie, um,

the one with the kid who goes to that wizard school.

The kid has a magic wand that's a stick.

So you can never be sure if a stick is magic or not

until you try it.

- I'm pretty sure it's not magic.

- Well, I'm trying it anyway.

(Giggles)

- Try with no hands!

- Okay! Wheeeee!

- Cody swingus falloffacus!

- Ah!

- (Gasp) Did you guys see that?!

- Yeah! You made Cody fall off the swing

with your magic wand.

- You really did. I saw it happen!

- Magic wand?! Are you serious?

Cody always falls off'a things.

- Agh!

Ooh!

Ahhh!

- Huh. I never noticed that.

- Me either.

- I don't care. - It was magic.

- Let's go inside and do more magic!!

(Chanting) Ma-gic! Ma-gic! Ma-gic!

Use your magic to make that car drive!

- Um, okay...

Tiny police car starticus!

(Siren wails)

- Ow! I saw Owen make magic!

- Uhmmmm no.

Owen's stick just tapped the on button.

- Owen said magic words. We all saw.

- Are you kidding me?!

- Hey Owen, use your magic to make Cody's castle really tall!

- Okay. Make Cody's castle-us tallicus!

- Not again.

Ooh!

All: (Gasp)

All: Magic!

- Magic broke my spine.

but it made my castle really tall!

- What? No! That was a freak accident!

Owen's wand is just a stick!

- Why do you hate magic so much?

- I don't. And even if I did,

I don't have to tell you why!

Maybe I'm even thinking about it right now

and not telling you!

I'm gonna ask hector the great,

how he does that sawing the woman in half trick.

(Giggle) Then maybe I'll grow up to be a great magician

just like him!

- Good night, Susan. And remember, magic is fake!

- Magic is fake? (Crying)

My dreams are ruined! (Crying)

Ahhh!

- (Chuckle) Magic is fake.

As if!

See you tomorrow!

- If your magic is real, prove it!

Take your wand and make me fly!

- Okay.

Harold fly-acapocus!

- Ahhhh!!!

(Bee buzzes)

- Harold?

- (Gasp) Owen you didn't make Harold fly,

you made him into a fly!

All: Whoa!

- Ohhhhh...

(Horror scream!)

- Close that window so Harold doesn't escape!

- Harold!

- Shush!

- There! Follow that fly!

- Ahhhh! G-guys?

Hello?

- Quick! Catch him, get Harold!

- They chose to mess with the dark arts.

Now, they must pay the consequences.

- There he is!

- Careful!

Watch out!

- Does anyone see him?!

- There he is!

- Ahh! (Sighs)

Agh!

(Groans)

(Sighs)

- We've lost Harold!

- It's all my fault!

Why did I ever tinker with the dark arts?!

- N-n-no... - Wait!

(Flames whoosh)

- You know, that magic wand might have been useful

to change Harold back into himself once we caught him.

- Ohhhhh...

(Horror scream)

- Half-wits.

- Okay. What do you think?

Looks... good?

(Buzzing)

- There's Harold!

- Quick, try to change him back!

- Fly-acapocous Harold!

- Owen, it might be time to tell Chef what happened.

- Okaaaay.

- Yeah, maybe he'll know what to do!

- Of course he will.

I mean that's never happened before

but maybe this time, huh? Sure.

Let's pretend this is a good idea.

- Hello? Can someone let me in?

- Just tell Chef everything that happened this morning.

- Well...um...

(Heavy sigh)

First I woke up and then I ate all the marshmallows

out of my pirate chocolate chunks cereal,

and I gave the rest to my cat.

And then my cat threw up. - Hm.

- Just tell him about the magic wand!

- I was getting to it,

but the cat barf is on my mind cause I stepped in it

and I'm still wearing that sock!

Every time I shift my weight I can feel the squishiness.

- Ew! Just tell him about the wand!

- (Gasp) Okay. I found a magic wand in the sandbox,

and then I--

- Shhhhh.

Owen, I want to hear your completely pointless story,

but first...

I need to k*ll a fly!

Hiii-yaahh!

Waahhhh!

- Who are you?

- You're looking at the tri state fly-swatting champion

of .

- Wow. You're old. Oof!

- Hi-yaaaa!

(Screams) Hah! Tchai! Ka!

Owen: No! That's Harold!

- Waaaaahhh!

Beth: Don't hurt Harold!

- Aaaahhh! Escaped again!

This fly is like a ninja!

Hiii-yaah!

Whhooo-waah!

- Chef, noooo!

C'mon! We gotta stop him!

- Hello? Chef?

Can somebody open the door for me?

- One summer, when I was a kid,

there was a fly that would follow me everywhere.

Watching. Waiting.

That's what made me take up the semi-professional sport

of fly-swatting.

So no child would ever be traumatized by a fly again.

Ha! Wah! Whooo-waaahhh!

Yiyiyiyiyiyiyah!

(Panting)

I respect your skills, fly,

but ol' Chef doesn't give up!

- Bet I can help you catch him.

With. This...

- Aaaahhh!

an empty lunch box?

- Hey. Where did my wolf-spider go?

- I'll just stick to my fly swatters, thanks!

- Where's Chef? We gotta stop him!

- Have you guys seen Snuggles the spider?

- Nope. Sorry. What's he look like?

- Like that.

- Ahh! I'm allergic to spider bites!

Aaahhh -ooh!

I don't like spider bites.

They make my face feel fuzzy.

- Get back here, you overgrown maggot!

- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! - Nooo!

- Hello? I like to come inside now.

- I got you now. Waahhhh!

Waaahhh! Hii-yaahh!

All: Chef stop! Quick, Harold! This way!

Let's catch Harold before Chef realizes he's gone!

- Anyone in there?

I think there's a storm coming...

(Lightning) Ahhhh!

(Heavy breathing) I get shot at out of a window,

hit by lightning,

(Angrily) W-what's next?

An alien invasion?

Aaaaahhaaaa!

- Waaaahhh!

(Slow knocking)

- Ow! Ow!

- We gotta let him out before Chef gets him!

- Waaaahhh! - Aaahhhh!!!

- No! Don't swat the fly!

- Sorry, kids I gotta.

I'm the tri-state champion of '!

- Ow!

All: (Gasp)

- eyes and he still didn't see it coming!

He-ha!

I stiiiill got it!

All: (Bawling)

- Hello?

Guys? Guys?

(Sighs) I guess I'll go around to the front again.

Ahhh!

Great! Now i'm stuck in one of Duncan's tunnels!

Huh! Worst. Day. Ever!

- Even though his life was cut short

in a freak magic squishing accident,

Harold lived a good life,

filled with weird nerdy things and science-y stuff.

So I think it only fitting that he be buried

with my magic wand.

- It's a stick!

- Aaahhh! Zombieeeeee!

- Huh? Zombie? Wait for me!

- Aahhhh! - (Groans)

- Best. Day. Ever.