03x50 - Steam Fight at the OK Corral

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[ Theme music plays ]

-♪ Ben ! ♪ -♪ Ben ! ♪

-♪ Ben ! ♪ -♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

-♪ Ben ! ♪ -♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

[ Theme music plays ]

♪♪

My Clocktopus remains a punching bag

for that Tennyson brat and all his confounding aliens.

It's like no one cares about steam power anymore.

Well, perhaps you'd stand a better chance

if you tried a different approach.

Who are you, oily child of the sand dunes,

and what do you know of my struggles

with the Tennyson brat?

And do you like steam? Oily?

The name is Kevin, and I'm the chief authority

on Tennyson whooping, and steam is dumb.

Dumb? Wait. You defeated Tennyson before?

Uh, yeah, loads of times, sure.

Okay, how do you supposed we vanquish our mutual nuisance?

You're going to need a modern makeover,

and to do that, you're going to need this.

I...don't know what that is.

No, doofus. This.

I...still don't know what that is.

Draw!Draw!

Aah!Aah!

Watch yourself, partner!

No one -- But no one can land a hit

on ol' Gorilla Gwen Tennyson.

No one but her old nemesis Bullseye Ben Tennyson!

[ Both laughing ]

Oh, kids.

What's going on in here?

Cleaning the rust bucket.

Ohh! [ Grumbles ]

Kids, we're going outside.

[ Birds cawing ]

Ugh, it's no use. Can't...go...on.

Is that really necessary, Ben?

No, Grandpa. He's right.

We aren't... going to...make it.

We've barely even left the parking lot.

The town is right there.

Please, Gwen!

End my misery!

Oh, then I guess you'll miss the site of the historic showdown,

the deadliest battle between the toughest outlaws

in the Wild West.

Both: Showdown?

[ Chuckles ] Yeah, I thought that might wake you up.

Less talk, more showdown.

[ Both chanting "showdown" ] Hold on, you two.

[ Creak! ]

I feel deliberately misled.

What are you talking about? This is living history.

Living history looks an awful lot

like a parking lot full of mannequins.

Yeah, I'm sure I can find a documentary about it

that's more riveting. Hmm.

If only someone hadn't ruined the tablet in a water fight.

Oh, right.

Well, I guess there's nothing left to do

but lie down in the dirt and shrivel up like a raisin.

Oh, come on.

Lots of exciting things happen in the Wild West.

Prove it.

Both: Aah!

Hey, trying to get my raisin on here.

[ Ticking ]

It's the Clocktopus! All: Ha!

Uh, why isn't it doing anything?

And since when does Steam Smythe use lasers?

Okay, I'm in settings.

No one cares about the clock.

Just sh**t more lasers at them.

Of course people care about the clock!

It's a Clocktopus! Look, just let me --

No! I am the captain of this construct.

So should I go alien and start punching it now, or...?

All: Aah!

♪♪

Oh, man. Steam Smythe really stepped up his game.

Get away from my controls, you ruffian.

Will you just let me -- There.

That's where you change the date and time.

Oh! Splendid.

[ Beeps ] Look at that.

Young Master Tennyson right in our sights.

Whoa! Aah!

♪♪

Watch where you're aiming those things!

My aim was true -- a direct hit on that brat!

Slapback: Hey, Smythe! You in there?

Thanks for the hand, buddy.

Yeah, you have no idea how hard it is

to hit that button on my own.

Ugh!

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

[ Groans ]

Okay, now, how do I deploy the expl*sive carrier pigeons?

Do you even listen to yourself? Just sh**t more lasers.

Bah! Lasers.

We engage in fisticuffs!

[ All gasp ]

[ Laughter ]

Be still and let me crush you!

Whoa. Stop trying to smash them.

All you're doing is multiplying them.

Use the lasers!

[ Zapping ]

Looks like some kind of millennial era octopus robot.

If I was going to build a robot octopus,

I'd make it run on clockwork.

Like some kind of Clocktopus.

Clocktopus -- Thank you. The name is right there.

Sorry about that.

Not at all, good sir.

[ All shout ] Wait.

Oh.

Gwen, help your cousin distract that thing.

I need to get something from the R.V.

Steam Smythe: Where have you scampered off to, you half-pint?

Half size, but double strong!

What?

Double heavy, too.

[ Metal creaking ]

I can do this all day.

[ Beeping ] Ohh!

Aah!

[ Screech ]

Aah!

Ben, look! Looks like there are solar panels on its back.

If you can smash them, you might power the whole machine down.

Solar panels don't seem like Steam Smythe's style.

[ Both shout ]

Let's see how you like Humungousaur.

What?! What happened to the lights?!

He must have messed with the solar panels.

Solar?

If we had used coal like a sane person,

this wouldn't have happened.

Chill. I got this.

Sorry, sunshine, but it's lights out.

[ Laughs ] That's kind of funny.

Ah, really? 'Cause, like, you know, halfway --

Aah! Ben!

[ Laughs ] You think I wouldn't have a backup power source?

You expect me to believe there's an entire coal plant

inside this brick thingy?

[ Groans ]

Hey, gasbag.

It's going to take a lot more than that

to put this dino alien back into the grou--

Oh, crud.

Ben! Did you b*at him yet?

I'm out of ideas!

Okay, I think I'm getting the hang of this.

Deploy laser pigeons!

Dude, there are no pigeons!

No, I'm sure there are.

What kind of Clocktopus -- Wait, what's this countdown?

It's going to explode!

[ Both scream ]

[ Shutter clicks ]

How do I --

Hit the trash can button.

[ Beep ] Oh, good. Thank you.

Wait. What did I just do?

[ Phone chimes ]

[ Laughs ]

Come on, Gwen. There must be a way to take that thing down.

I'm going to crush you like a bug, jerk face!

Huh?

Keep your filthy mitts off of my grandson.

Grandpa! Gwen!

Are you okay? Yeah.

Hey, isn't that mine?

No, it's mine. I got a whole chest full of them.

[ Beeping ]

[ Whirring ]

Man: Voice authentication required.

I...love... my...grandkids.

Whatever that machine is made of, it's almost like my tablet.

Which means if we sh**t water at it,

we should be able to destroy it.

Exactly. Here. Gear up, Sheriff.

We got an outlaw to take down.

Oh, man. I so love this idea.

Kevin : Darn it! Where did you go, Tennyson?

Smythe!

I'mma run you out of town, tin can.

I'd like to see you try.

You might want to ready your weapons, oily child.

.........

Draw! [ Whiffle! ]

[ Electricity zapping ]

[ Both shouting ]

[ Laughing ]

Hyah!

Ugh! Water!

This high tech mega monolith isn't waterproof?!

Stop complaining and help me do something!

[ Beeping ] [ Both shouting ]

Forward march!

We're going to need the big g*ns.

Ya hear that, tiny?

Oh, I hear ya.

Ohh, this can't be good.

[ Laughs ]

Herd them towards the water tower!

Let's give this trash can a bath.

Controls are malfunctioning! sh**t a laser at them!

Blow them up with your magic techie stuff!

I can't! Our weapons are down!

I dislike you very, very much.

♪♪

No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

My tablet is gonna get wet!

Quick! Grab a bowl of rice!

Rice? Rice?!

[ Electricity zapping ]

Yes! We did it, Grandpa!

We sure showed Steam Smythe who owns this town.

Yeah! [ Laughs ]

Get out of town and down come...

baaack!

[ Pop! ] [ Both gasping ]

Is that Kevin?

He was working with Steam Smythe this whole time?

Huh. I guess that makes sense.

I thought it was weird that Smythe was calling me jerk face.

Ugh! How did we lose?!

If it wasn't for your whole old-timey schtick,

we would've taken them down.

No, it was you and your ridiculous modern adaptations.

If there is one thing I've learned in all my years

in this business, it's always prepare a plan B.

[ Gears clanking ]

♪♪

Yeah!

Let's crush those nerds.

Let's deploy those boom-boom pigeons you were talking about!

Indeed. Pull that lever over there.

Aaah!!

Don't you dare interfere with my affairs again, oily child!

Ugh!

Yeesh. Touchy, old, curmudgeon-y bag of bolts!

Steam Smythe: Now playtime is over.

I'm fed up with all this buffoonery.

I'm going to show you the superior power of steam!

Both: Ooh!

Did you say steam?

What? Uh, yes. Yes, I did.

This machine is incredible! William, come here!

I want a picture with this genius!

[ Shutter snaps ]

[ Voice breaking ] Finally, some appreciation.

[ Whistle blows ]

Both: Ooh!

Incredible!

[ Chuckles evilly ]

Mister, are you going to be in town next week?

We're having a steampunk festival here

and would love for you to give a lecture

on the convenient truths of coal and steam.

[ Gears clanking ]

Really? That would be stupendous!

[ Siren chirps ] Oh, yes. Of course, gentlemen.

Let's go to the big house.

Worry not, adoring steam enthusiasts!

I will be back!

Bye-bye!

♪♪

Whoo-wee!

That was some nice cowboy work there, kids.

And that was some quick thinking to use water

against the Clocktopus, Grandpa!

[ Laughs ] Yeah.

You kids still owe me a new tablet.

[ Both chuckle nervously ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Chuckles evilly ]