03x06 - Social Studies/Embarrassment

[bunniefuu]

Ned: in a middle school full of bullies...

Insane teachers...

Aah!

And gross school lunches,

Ned bigby--that's me--

And my two best friends try to do the impossible--

Create a guide that will help

You survive school.

[Bell ringing]

Man: ♪ coming up

♪ Looking out

♪ I'll survive it no doubt

♪ Never fear

♪ Bring it on

♪ Breaking down what's in my way ♪

♪ And I'm

♪ Escaped detention and a bunch of bullies tried to stop me ♪

♪ Finding my place in this world ♪

♪ And i...

Ned: "ned's declassified school survival guide."

Your results may vary.

Woman: ok, class. Who can tell me

Why washington crossed the delaware?

[Crickets chirping]

Nobody? Because I have no idea myself.

Social studies-- it's the talkiest

Of the main subjects

Because there's so much to talk about--

Geography, government, history, and lots and lots of projects.

Social studies will have the most notes,

So have extra everything.

And ask about recording the lectures,

So if you miss something, you can just go back and check.

Teacher: I found it!

Ha!

And if your social studies teacher is like mrs. Knapp,

Find a creative way to keep the class moving.

Double up on your, uh, social studies project

On american history.

The best one will get

An all expenses paid trip

To the state capital

For a student expo.

I'll pick the winner on friday.

Have a flier, a flier!

Ooh! Ho ho!

This trip actually sounds like fun.

Duh! It's more than just a contest.

It's a romantic social studies getaway weekend.

That's a weird way of putting it.

Imagine if lisa and I won.

I'm so glad we won the contest, simon,

And you're so gorgeous.

Stop. You're embarrassing me.

I've got to pair up with lisa

Before one of those vultures does.

If only suzie was in our class.

Then I could be her partner,

And we could go on that trip together.

But she's not, so what are we gonna do our project on?

Oh! Got to go. Meeting suzie

By the water fountain to get a drink

Of water.

Ned, no running in the hall.

Sorry. And shouldn't all of this be

In your principal's office?

Yes, but pal sort of thinks he's still principal,

But when he sees me officeless,

Then he'll realize that he should retire

And give me the keys to that office,

Which should have been mine by now!

I'm off to the bathroom!

[Grunting]

My plan needs a little adjusting.

[Snoring]

Lisa, we should team up and win

That social studies trip.

Yeah. That sounds like fun.

Cook, kwong, you're my smartest students.

Team up, make an amazing project,

And bring us home the gold!

Well, no. That's a bad idea.

I despise him.

I'm the teacher, and what I say goes.

What's with the cookie face?

I think it's stuck.

Oh, ok. Relax. Relax.

Ok. There we go.

Evelyn and I are gonna win

The social studies trip ,

Which means I'll have to spend

The whole weekend with her.

Can you imagine?

Unh! Unh!

Stop it! You're embarrassing me.

[Whimpering]

You're stuck again.

At least you have a social studies partner.

I thought you teamed up with ned.

I did, but look.

It's like I don't exist anymore.

Are you jealous?

I'm not jealous!

Ok, but if you win the contest,

It will be moze and ned together all weekend long

And not me and evelyn.

Right. We'll just make a totally awesome project

And then hang out all weekend like old times.

And I'll simply "delay" my project with evelyn

So we don't get it done by friday.

It's the perfect plan!

It's an interactive history of mt. Rushmore.

You'll put your head where jefferson's is

And then answer questions about the monument.

It's awesome!

And since I got a jump on it,

We can use the free period

To catch up on things.

Absolutely.

So...how are things?

Things are good.

Great! Now I'm off to meet suzie

For another water break.

Actually, now that I think about it, we're way behind.

See that right there?

That needs fixing.

I decided that we're going to do the history of the modern city

And how the development of the municipal infrastructure

Made it possible.

You've done a lot, so, uh...

Let me help!

Simon, no running in the bathroom.

You know, you could just tell pal

He's not principal anymore.

I don't want to hurt his feelings.

He gave me my first teaching job,

And he's taught me a lot.

[Toilet flushes]

Ahem.

Ahem.

Ahem.

This will work.

It's the perfect plan.

Rrrawr! Rrrawr!

[Screaming]

Man: ♪ I want to know more about you ♪

♪ I got to know more about you ♪

♪ Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

[Siren]

That's it! I quit!

I'd rather get an "f" than work with you, cook!

Dunh!

Yo. Check out our project.

It's, uh...

It's the history of the frontier,

Where we prove female domesticity

Settled the west.

If we win the social studies thing,

Lisa and I will go to the state capital together.

Can you imagine?

I'm so glad we won the contest, seth,

And you're way more gorgeous than simon.

Oh, stop. You're embarrassing him.

I cannot let them win this contest,

Which means I have to win it,

Which means I have to win back...

Evelyn.

Mrs. Knapp is picking the winner seventh period.

I think we have a sh*t at that trip together.

I think my face is stuck.

We'll celebrate tonight.

Can't. Going to suzie's tonight for dinner.

What? It's movie, video game, pizza night.

We've been hanging out every friday night

Since were in the playpen!

I know, but I'm gonna meet suzie's mom.

Now, quick, help me out of here.

I got to meet suzie for another...

Water break.

You're thirsty? Here.

Is there a problem?

I just don't want you to be thirsty anymore, ok?!

Wha--wha--

[Door shuts]

Evelyn, I'm sorry I ruined our project.

It's just that I'm so unsure

Of my feelings for you.

Really?

Yes. You make me do crazy things.

Now, tell me what's really going on!

I didn't want to win with you

Because I think you might be crazy,

But I think I might have a crush on lisa,

So I have to stop her from going with seth.

Oh. You're pathetic, cook,

But you are smart,

And I could always use another academic trophy.

It's a high-.

You're supposed to slap me back.

Oh.

[Grunts]

Perhaps there's a bigger problem here

Than being stuck.

Great. And I thought moze was nuts.

She's not nuts. She's hurt.

Yeah!

She's hurt? I'm the one stuck in this thing.

She abandoned me.

Are you sure you haven't abandonedher, hmm?

She's your best friend,

And now it's like she doesn't exist.

Yeah!

Hmm. Maybe you guys are right.

I like moze better than suzie.

What? I always tell the truth.

That's my thing.

Go to her, ned.

Ask her what's wrong.

But I'm stuck.

You guys are smart.

How can I get out of this thing?

Hmm. I have no idea.

No clue whatsoever.

Yeah!

[Scraping]

Hey. I'm sorry for blowing you off.

Going out with suzie doesn't mean I can't hang with you.

I guess I just felt a little left out.

Well, you could have just told me that

Instead of locking me in here.

I'll get you out so you won't miss your date with suzie's mom.

Yes, I will because tonight it's just me and you

And movie, video game, pizza night.

[Squeaking]

Now, get me out of here.

This might hurt a little bit.

Unh!

Hey! You trashed my gym!

Run. Run

Ohh! Ok.

Acting like you did something bad--

That's great.

Mr. Wright, I've noticed something all day

And feel I should say something.

You have something in your teeth.

Bye, boys.

Wait!

You're not the principal anymore!

I'm the principal. Now it hurts me to say this,

But you got to leave your office!

Finally, but I must say you took a lot longer than I hoped.

Say what?

Allistaire, as principal,

You're going to have to say

Some tough things and hurt some feelings,

But that's the job,

And now you're ready.

Yes! I'm the principal!

That's what I have to do.

I'm gonna tell suzie friday is our night.

It may sting. It's what I have to do.

[Cat meows]

So she took it well?

Oh, yeah.

All right. Let's see who's going on that social studies trip.

[Snoring]

Mrs. Knapp, it hurts me to say this,

But it's time for you to retire.

Thank heavens! I'm out of here!

Wait a minute. I don't have

The replacement teacher yet.

I'll do it!

And the winning team for the trip

To the capital is...

Evelyn and simon!

Yes! Yes!

And that means lisa's not going with seth.

But you do realize that means you're going with evelyn.

He's stuck again.

Come on.

Relax, relax.

[Pbbt]

Man: ♪ whoa, whoa, whoa

Nice one, bigby.

I'll catch you later.

Diving in the stands for a volleyball again?

It's called taking one for the team,

And today was the day I was gonna talk to faymen

Without making a complete fool of myself.

Who's faymen?

The new guy in moze's language class,

Who she says is a supercute hunkaloo.

Hi. I'm missy.

Well, I ripped one in front of the entire class

And suzie, and it was loud!

Snuck up without warning.

Total backside sabotage.

Ouch.sorry, buddy.

Missy: and then we can go hot air ballooning.

Hi, frankenstein, fart boy.

And then we can have a picnic.

Guys, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Who cares what people think, smell, or hear?

Ha ha ha!

Aah! Aah!

Timmy toot-toot.

I hear you're trying to steal my thunder.

It was an accident. It will never happen again.

That's right because this is my house,

And there's only one master blaster!

Toot-toot!

[Pbbt]

I can survive this.

I'll just have to avoid being embarrassed

For the rest of the day,

And everyone will forget.

Oh, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop!

[Laughter]

Somebody stuffed the faucet!

No! Ohh!

No. It--it splashed from the--from the thing

And the gum and the--

I am spartacus, a great gladiator,

Who stood up for the little people!

Don't be late for social studies.

And, uh, son, I think your dam burst.

Hi, faymen.

It's faymen, right?

You're new. That's great.

I'm great except for this brace.

Makes my neck kind of sweaty

And stinky.

Call me stink girl!

It's because the dirt gets under here

And, like, sticks to my neck and...

Bye now.

Unh!

Run! Run for your life!

That makes it -.

Can I play?

Everyone can play,

And whoever pantses cook the most

By the end of the day is king of the pants.

[Yelling]

♪ But I can see

Everyone's trying to pants me!

Oh. Well, let me tell you a story.

It involves a young, dashing future janitor

Who also used to get pantsed.

Pants him!

It's a long story that takes place

During the carter administration ,

But it has a happy ending.

I said, "call me stink girl."

Ooh. What did he say?

Nothing, but it's the way he says nothing

That makes me nervous

And makes me make a complete fool of myself.

Just engage him in some polite conversation

And let him answer.

If you don't get nervous, you wont embarrass yourself.

Coming from the boy who farted and peed himself today.

Big embarrassment tip.

Keep extra clothes in your locker

In case of accidental wetting

And be careful what you eat.

Some foods are high fart-starters.

So watch out for things like...

There he is!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

It worked!

This cookie's cardboard!

And so are these pants.

There's the real cookie!

Get him!

Run.

[Yelling]

After being pantsed for the rd time,

I knew I needed a solution to my pants problem.

That's when I tried...

[Knocks on window]

Hi, ned.

Hey, suzie.

Why don't you come out here and talk?

Oh, I like it here behind the glass.

Nice tooth fungus, bigby.

You have something in your teeth.

There's nothing left to laugh at. See?

Yes, there is.

Your fly's open.

I am spartacus!

If you want to learn what it was like to be a gladiator,

Don't be late for my class.

Ned, your drawbridge is open.

I know!

Faymen, how are things going?

When I saw you from over there,

I thought, "why not come and engage you"...

In conversation,

Not married, like, engage you.

Not that I think you wouldn't make a great fiance.

It's just that I'm too young to be engaged or married.

So are you!

So let's not get married. Agreed?

Bye now.

Cookie: this is what you did as a kid?

Yes, I did.

I wore pairs of pants.

There he is! Pants him!

Aah!

Aah! Please don't! No! Please stop.

Leave the boxers! Please don't take the boxers!

Ohh!

Why didn't you tell me pairs didn't work?

Well, I didn't want to jump ahead of myself in the story.

Now when I figured out that pairs of pants didn't work,

That's when I grew up, became a janitor,

And figured out a way to defeat

Those drawer-dropping desperados.

I thought I'd sit over here today for a change.

But I'm good now. Teeth clean, see?

Oh, come now! Someone here must know

The name of the long tube...

[Stomach rumbles]

That carries food from the back of the throat

Down to the stomach.

Yes, mr. Bigby.

Please tell the class the answer.

Stomach rumbles]

[Belches]

Hey. You've known ned longer than I have.

Is he really gross?

No. He's just having a bad day.

Give him a chance.

Ned is the nicest, most thoughtful guy I know.

Ned: oh, not again!

I got to go.

Suzie thinks I'm gross, doesn't she?

Yep. I discussed marriage with faymen today.

I don't think he's ready.

There he is! Give me tips.

To prevent being embarrassed

In front of someone you like,

Practice what you're gonna say

Before you talk to them.

Thanks!

Oh, no! He's leaving.

Hey, faymen. Ohh!

[Crashing]

I'm sorry.

It's that you're so hip and mysterious,

And I'm just an embarrassing motormouth

Who nearly k*lled you.

I am embarrassed.

You? You're embarrassed?

My english no good.

That's why you didn't speak.

So you're not supercool?

I am cool.

Just english no good.

I no ready for marriage.

Right.

There's cookie!

It's like taking pants

From a baby with candy!

I heard a story about a boy

Who learned that being a janitor stops you from being pantsed.

If you ever get pantsed, try wearing a janitor's outfit

Or just wear a belt and avoid loose-fitting pants.

[Bell ringing]

I am spartacus!

And how are you, ned?

Totally embarrassed.

I think this is the worst day of my life.

You know, the older you get,

The more you learn not to care what other people think

And that being embarrassed only means you're human.

It happens to all of us.

[Pbbt]

Suzie crabgrass farted!

No. I didn't. It wasn't me.

It wasn't suzie.

It was me. I am fartacus!

Oh, like I'm the only one who's ever been embarrassed.

I'm the only one who's ever got caught

Burping in public or picking their nose

Or blasting the pants cannon.

Come on and admit it.

Happens to all of us, and it only makes us human.

I am fartacus!

I am fartacus!

I am fartacus!

I am fartacus!

I am fartacus!

Well, I am not fartacus.

[Pbbt]

Ok. I'm fartacus.

Embarrassment-- it will happen to you,

But when it does, don't let it get to you

Because it happens to everyone, and it's a part of life.

[Whimpering]

[Yelling]

I put a $. Bounty on loomer's pants.

Yeah. It's gonna cost you some allowance,

But--oh, ho--it will be well worth it.

Ooh, my!

[Yelling]

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa

The cows go "moo."

And so do you.

[Laughter]

No!

Eww. That's so gross. Gross

Man: you can pick your friends.

Devon joseph werkhesier.

Why are you linked arms with me?

It's like we're dating.

Now I'm thinking about old you!

Woman: you trashed my gym!