03x17 - Money/Parties

[bunniefuu]

Ned: in a middle school full of bullies...

Insane teachers...

And gross school lunches...

Ned bigby, that's me, and my best friends

Try to do the impossible:

Create a guide that will help you survive school.

♪ Coming up, looking out

♪ I'll survive it, no doubt

♪ Never fear, bring it on

♪ Breaking down what's in my way ♪

♪ And I'm taking control

♪ And feeling my place in this world ♪

♪ And i...

Ned: "ned's declassified school survival guide."

Your results may vary.

Pop quiz!

What's the greatest concert of the year

That has all our favorite bands together

For one big day of rock, pop, and hip-hop?

The fig valley music festival!

Ding! And my mom said she'd drive us.

But we have to buy our own tickets.

Tickets go on sale friday and they're $ a pop.

Oh! How much money do we have?

I've got bucks.

I've got dimes,

And a moldavian -cent piece.

And I've got...



Come on! If we work together and work hard,

We can totally make the money.

Moze is right.

We'll start our own business.

Ned, moze, and cookie, inc.

All right. Let's get the word out.

You have to be to work in a store,

But you don't have to be to make money.

Jobs like babysitting, pet care, and cleaning services

Are all great ways to make cash fast.

Gee, I'm having a party at my house

This saturday night in my basement,

And I'd like to hire your cleaning service.

$, We don't do windows,

And we expect invites to the party.

Done and done.

[Snorting]

Hey, there's my pig!

Laters.

We need those concert tickets.

Let's do this.

We can't keep doing this.

Must rest weary bones.

But ned, moze, and cookie, inc. Just made $.

We have to increase advertising and get more jobs.

Come on.

Jennifer, I'm taking a hip-hop class tonight,

And I need a babysitter.

Can you do it?

You bet, because nobody better sits a baby

Than ned, moze, and cookie, inc.

Great. I'll see you at .

I've been thinking: work stinks.

It's too much like work.

How else do you expect

To make bucks by friday?

I know. We'll put on our own show.

Moze can direct,

Ned can run sound and lights,

And I'll be the star.

[Applause]

Give me fliers.

You need a job? What for?

Let's just say I need $ by friday

Or I may die of lack of concert.

I'll loan you the money.

Just think of it as a friendly loan.

Pay it back whenever.

Great! Now I can buy the ticket

Without working!

I could kiss you... But I won't.

Ok. Then I'll kiss you.

Aah!

Oh, no. Not baxter bear.

See me and cookie this thursday.

See baxter bear. Ha ha ha!

Lips moved.

I'm perfecting my act.

And now baxter will say the alphabet

While I drink this glass of milk.

Ha?

A...b...c...

[Gurgling]

Great. You stink.

So you'll take the babysitting tonight?

Are you crazy? I need to come up

With a hot new money-making act

By thursday.

The stage is my life!

Missy loaned me the bucks,

So no working for me.

Just concert.

What about our business?

We have a babysitting job tonight.

Uh-huh. And your point is?

Ugh!

Ok. I'll be back at .

Enjoy my little angels.

I'm sure I will.

[Screaming]

Just ask missy for a loan.

You'll get the ticket,

And you won't get punched in the face

By year olds.

You should never borrow money

You can't pay back.

It's like the first rule of money management.

And for your information,

I was kicked.

Missy, thanks again for the loan.

No prob, and remember:

Just pay back the $. Whenever.

But I only borrowed .

You're cute, but if you know

Anything about money, loans charge interest.

That's how they work.

And the longer you don't pay,

The more you owe me.

Then I don't want the money.

Sorry, but the rules of the bank of missy

State all debts must be paid in full.

And if you have a problem,

You can take it up with my collection team.

I don't have the money in full.

Ooh. Well, you could always

Just work off the loan.

More on the pinky toe.

A magic show?

Pick a card. Any card.

I'm the master.

Study the card. Know the card.

Put it back in the deck.

Fire!

This is your card.

No.

Is this your card?

Nope.

What was your card?

The king of dorks.

[Chattering]

Ooh!

Food cooler? That's it!

I'm done working off your loan.

What I meant to say

Was I'm gonna pay you back in full.

So bye.

I need to make some money fast,

And I don't want to work hard for it.

Oh, you need easy money.

How do I get easy money?

My book, "free easy money" shows you how to get money

Just for hopping!

Man, that is a cool suit.

Did you know the government will pay you $

Just for eating oatmeal?

It's in my book free...

I gotta get that book.

Ok, so I lined up a ton of jobs,

And you can pay off missy and...

What?

The government's paying me

To eat oatmeal.

Now that's easy money.

But I already took all the jobs.

I can't do this by myself.

I'm eating all the oatmeal by myself.

Oh, you know what? You're fired!

I'm taking over the business.

It's moze, inc.

You will be sorry, ned bigby.

Argh!

[Rooster crowing]

Tickets for the music fest go on sale tomorrow.

I'm rich, and you're still eating oatmeal.

Done! Now the government owes me $.

Yeah, but according to this,

The money will be applied to your social security checks,

Which you won't get until you're .

Another money tip:

Make sure you're clear about payday.

And if you need money fast,

Make sure the person paying you knows it, too.

So, do you have my money or not?

Welcome to the greatest show at polk

Where i, super cookie,

Upside down and in a straight jacket,

Will be locked in this air-tight crate

Where I will escape in minutes.

My lovely assistant...

Whoa! Whoa!

Help. I can't do it. Help me.

Get me out. Get me out.

Ta-da!

[Ribbit]

Everyone left.

Oh, and they took their money back.

Now how am I gonna get $ by tomorrow?

I'll do it.

I'll probably hate myself in the morning.

Ok, stop.

You know, if you guys had pulled your weight

In the company before,

You wouldn't be pulling missy's weight now.

We were bad and lazy.

We're sorry!

Out of my way, mosley.

They're working off a little loan.

And I'm paying off their loans, so they no longer work for you.

Uh-oh.

Aah!

I'm ok.

So when it comes to money,

Remember there is no such thing as easy money.

And hard work always pays off.

And tomorrow we can get the music fest tickets.

Moze, how can we ever repay you?

Oh...

Aah! Aah!

Seth's basement bash!

Always the hottest party of the year.

And it's gonna get hotter.

Check it out.

I've attached a powerful neodymium magnet

To the top of this bottle.

And it'll point right to this oversized magnetized paper clip.

Spin the bottle?

Isn't that a little old school?

Like sixth grade?

Not if it'll bring these lips closer to lisa zemo's.

You guys go in.

I'll wait here and make it look like chance

Brought us to the party at the same time.

[Loud music playing]

Hi!

Ned, we're gonna have so much fun tonight.

That shirt you're wearing totally brings out my eyes.

Wait here. I'll grab us some treats.

How did missy get you to ask her to the party?

Ned, want to ask me

To seth's party on saturday?

Ned, want to ask me

To go to seth's party on saturday?

She wore me down.

But hey, this party's all about moving on.

Can't spend my entire life hung up on...

Suzie crabgrass!

Suzie crabgrass is here?

Yeah. I invited her and she came.

I bet you're pretty conflicted right now.

Anyways, laters.

The last time I talked to her,

She dumped me via cell phone.

And now's my chance to win her back.

Were you looking at crabgrass?

No.

Well I'm gonna go over there

And tell her you're at this party with me.

No, no!

Let me do it.

I want to let her down easy.

Fine, make it snappy.

Chop, chop.

Hey, suzie!

Hey, I was hoping I'd see you here.

So, are you here with moze and cookie?

Yep. Just them.

No date or anything like that. Ha ha!

Whoo!

Ok. Ciao.

You made it! My dog got loose again.

I have to help my mom find him,

But when I find him,

I come back to be with you.

Nothing.

[Barking]

Lisa, what a surprise meeting you here.

Yeah. I'm psyched seth invited me.

Well, let's go.

[Alarm sounding]

Sorry, cookie, by my parents banned you

Because of what happened last year.

What did I do?

["Party animal" playing]

[Beeping]

So, I almost b*rned down your house,

But it wasn't my fault.

It's the song that should be banned,

Not me.

Yeah, sorry.

But speaking of fire, did you see lisa?

She is hot!

Laters.

We're not on the list, but seth told us to come by.

I mean faymen is great and everything,

But when I kiss him, it's just like thbt--nothing!

Maybe it's me.

The only time I ever felt a spark was when I kissed...

Ned! Oh!

So all I have to do is kiss ned again

And compare it with my kiss with faymen

And see if I feel anything.

Thanks!

It really is great to see you again.

Let me add just a little lemon

To my iced tea.

[Gasping]

Oh, ned, my eyes.

Sorry. Let me get you a drink.

I tried to let her down easy.

She took it pretty bad.

I'm not on the list, but you know the rest.

See ya!

I got banned,

But I got to keep seth away from lisa.

He's too hot.

Give me your special spin the bottle bottle

So I can kiss ned.

Oh!

Don't freak. I just have to do

A simple kiss comparison test. That's all.

All right. Who wants to play a little spin the bottle?

We do.

So now that you're all mine

And no longer suzie's,

Let's check out this small dark room,

If you know what I mean.

Ned, what are you doing?

That's not what I meant.

The door is stuck.

Weird.

Suzie can't see me with missy.

Missy can't see me with suzie.

What am I gonna do?

All right. Party tips.

First: dress nicely, but don't go overboard.

Be who you are, and not someone you're not.

Second, if you're planning on spinning the bottle,

You might want to avoid stinky the food.

Hey.

Ned! Ned?

And lastly, if you're at a party with missy,

But you really want to be with suzie,

Get her thrown out.

Missy, the air is thin in here.

Can't breathe.

Don't worry, my sweet. I'll save you.

Ned! Oh, hey.

What a coincidence. It's my turn.

Weird, huh?

Yeah. Good luck with that,

But I'm gonna go rekindle my romance

With suzie.

Spin the bottle is fun!

So, where were we?

Oh, you squirted lemon in my eye.

Ha ha ha!

And that's when I scored the winning basket...

Again.

How dare you!

What did I do?

How dare you not remember what you did!

Who are you?

How dare you not remember who I am!

Stay away from him.

Come on. Let's go shake it on the dance floor

Like good girls do when bad boys are around.

You know, it's funny.

For a second, I actually thought

You might have come to this party with missy.

Ha ha! That's a good one!

Actually, call it a hunch,

But I wouldn't be surprised

If missy got thrown out of here.

Hang on, sweetheart. I'll save you.

Ned? Ned?

That's my parent's favorite door!

You don't understand! I was saving my date's life!

Stop! Stop!

See? Cuckoo.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

[Music resumes]

Let's dance.

Dj, how 'bout we slow it down a bit?

May I have this dance?

Is it me, or is it hot in here?

Let's dance.

Ned! Oh, hey. What a coincidence.

Um, I really need to talk to you.

It's very very--

[Bark]

Oh! Oh!

You know, I was hoping

You'd be here alone tonight.

[Knocking]

What's wrong?

Nothing. Nothing.

Where were we?

[Knocking]

Did I do something wrong?

No. I did.

I came here with missy tonight.

Let me in!

And she tried to rescue me,

And I think I need to rescue her,

And I'm sorry.

I'm really really sorry.

Wait. This whole thing is my fault.

She's with me. I got stuck in the closet,

But I got out.

She was just trying to save me.

Ned is here with me tonight.

Yeah, I heard,

And I'd hang on to him if I were you

And not move away.

[Horn blowing "dixie"]

Well, there's my mom.

Got a long drive back.

Take care, ned.

You, too.

[Horn blowing "dixie"]

Man, I hate that horn!

Play a fast song!

I don't care which one. Just put it on now!

["Party animal" playing]

No! Not that one! Anything but...

I found my dog. He followed me here.

Say hi to jasper.

We've met.

Ooh, lucky paper clip.

Ha!

[Music stops]

Oh.

Simon, is that you?

No. See ya!

Whoo! Whoo!

Moze has to kiss ned.

[Beeping]

Is it me, or is it hot in here?

Maybe.

Greatest concert of the year--

I can't speak.

I need to make some money fast

That I don't want to work hard to earn...

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

I need to make some--

Man: come on!

What?

Man: cut.

Mm-wha!

Aah! Ha ha!

How dare you!

Huh? But...

[Laughing]

Ow!