02x15 - Total Eclipse of the Fart

[bunniefuu]

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Kids: Ooooh!

- How much d'ya think she can get for it?

- It's a big one, maybe ten bucks!

- Now I just gotta wait for it to fall out.

- I'll get that tooth out for you.

Hiiiiyah! Waaaaa-eeeeeyah! (Battle cries)

(Kick thud) Oof.

- HEY! Watch it around my loose tooth!

Right? My little tooth?

(Wiggling)

- So what're you gonna do with all that cash?

- Well, first... buy a flip sequin purse,

a bubble maker,

and a speedboat for my Miami beach house.

(Engine roars)

(Loud crash)

Uh... I should probably learn how to drive a boat first.

(Laughs, chokes)

- Leshawna, your tooth's gone!

- (Gasp) Oh no, I just swallowed my tooth.

- You just ate your winning lottery ticket?!

Hahaha! (Thud) Gah!

- (Cries) My toooooooth!

(Wailing uncontrollably)

(All groan)

- Okay... what's the problem?

- Leshawna swallowed her tooth

so now the Tooth Fairy won't come.

- Leshawna, it's okay.

Look at it this way:

your tooth is gone.

- And? - And what? That's it.

(Wails even louder) WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

- Don't worry, you have more!

- Cody, what did I tell you about doing math?!

Remember what happened last time?!

♪♪♪

(Poof!)

- Just put a fake tooth under your pillow.

It's dark. The Tooth Fairy won't know the difference

and you'll be rolling in dough.

- Really? - Sure.

Whatever gets you through the night.

♪♪♪

Leshawna: WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!

- Whoa. Did the Tooth Fairy give you a box full of money?

- Not exactly.

- What's in the box? What's in the box?!

- That question requires a flashback.

I made a fake tooth, identical to the real one.

I put it under my pillow

and waited for the Tooth Fairy to show up!

But the fake tooth didn't work!

So I did what I had to do.

I kidnapped the Tooth Fairy,

and I'm not letting it go until it pays up!

So pay up Tooth Fairy! (Grunt)

- (Farts) - (All Gasp)

- Sorry, did... did you say Tooth Fairy or Toot Fairy?

- Tooth Fairy.

- Well, ya know, there's your problem, that's not me.

- Oh really?

You aren't the fairy that collects our teeth

and leaves money under our pillows.

- There's a fairy that pays cash

for human teeth?

Ugh. That's weird.

Come on, I can't be the only one here

who thinks that's really messed up.

- If you're not the Tooth Fairy, what are you?

- I'm Smelliott,

the Fart Fairy!

I travel the world collecting everyone's farts!

(Farts)

- Everyone's farts?

- Yup! Anytime you've ever farted...

I've been there.

(Farts)

(Deep inhale)

(Satisfied sigh)

(Farts)

(Deep inhale)

(Satisfied sigh)

(Farts) - (Giggles)

(Deep inhale)

(Satisfied sigh)

- (Farting) - (Inhaling)

(Huge fart) (All coughing and choking)

(Sheepish giggle)

(Deep inhale)

Oh yeah.

- Well, if you're the Fart Fairy

then what were you doing in my room?

- Oh no. She's one of those.

- One of what?

- A fart denier.

- I don't fart. - Called it.

- What? I don't! Farts are disgusting.

- Farts are delectable.

(Rap) ♪ Farts, farts are what I devour ♪

♪ The farts you make, give me my power ♪

♪ I travel the world to smell your gas ♪

♪ The kind that comes out the crack of your... butt ♪

(Giggles) (Farts)

- Sing all you want, Fart Fairy,

you aren't going anywhere until you pay up!

- Ignore her, she's mad 'cause she swallowed her tooth.

- Bummer.

- Is collecting farts a fun job?

- Oh yes! Let me show you!

(Giggling, farting)

- Cool! - Alright! - Woo-hoo!

- He farts more than I do!

- Whoa! He can juggle!

(Poof) (Woozy moans)

(Farts)

- Ta Da!

- He makes animal balloons!

(Poof) (Woozy moans)

(Farts blast)

He can fart blast!

(Fart blasts)

- (Poof) - My bad!

- (Woozy moans)

- Whoa! - Hang on! - Go faster!

(Farts sputter)

- Oh, we ran out of gas!

- I gotta say... I don't feel so good.

- Hey! What did you guys do to my Fart Fairy!

FIX HIM!

- So weak.

Fading. Need farts...

- You heard him. He needs farts!

- Farts is what I do!

Clear a path!

(Farts)

(Deep inhale) - Not enough.

- Hit him again!

- Tag me, I'm going in.

(Farts) (Deep inhale)

- (Groans) - He needs more!

Who's next?!

- Why don't you take a turn?

- Because I don't fart.

I'm the Fart Director.

- Fiiiine.

I got this.

(Quiet farts) (Sigh of relief)

- Beth, did you just... (gags)

- That's the worst thing I have ever (gasp) smelled.

- Boo ya!

- What smells like my uncle's attic?

- Cody, fart on Smelliott.

- Seems impolite... but okay.

C'mon, you can do this Cody.

C'mon Cody.

(Small farts) C'mon.

- (Groans) Cody!

- That sounded like an old door opening!

- I'm...not...going to... make it. (Groans)

- All of you, try again!

(All straining)

- We've got nothing left!

- It's okay... you...tried.

- He's not gonna survive!

- Leshawna,

you're the only one who can save him now!

Please!

- I told you, I do not fart!

- Wait! I can save him.

I just need some chili cheese chips

and minutes and seconds!

- Uh, guys, something weird is happening outside?

(Ominous music)

- I'm here beneath an unprecedented weather event.

This is a Fartnado of global proportions.

Is the planet and everyone doomed?!

Perhaps.

Up next, a water-skiing squirrel! HaHa!

(Motor whirs)

- I gotta tell the kids about this.

Kids! You gotta see this squirrel on TV.

He's water-sk--

Ahhhh! Kids! Look out!

What is that thing?!

- That's Smelliott!

The Fart Fairy Leshawna caught in her bedroom.

- But we don't know why he was there.

- I was there collecting your farts.

- I. DON'T. FART!

- Hello? Military? It's Chef.

You gotta get over here, stat!

- Dude, why do you always call the military?

- Because the animators already drew them

for a previous episode.

Now I'm going to hide in my office,

call me when this is over. (Door slams, lock clicks)

(Birds chirp)

(Birds choke, thud)

- It's getting worse out there.

- That cloud is all of the world's farts building up.

If I don't get up there,

that methane gas will block out the sun

and the Earth will freeze over.

It'll be Fartageddon!

- So if you can't get up there none of us will survive?!

- True story!

- We have to save Smelliott!

- Owen, where are we on those farts?

(Readying music)

- Farts don't fail me now!

- Let 'er rip! - Cut the cheese, Owen!

- Crack wind! - Or fart.

- I'm trying!

- Just do it already!

- I'm given' her all I got!

- C'mon, Owen. The future of the world depends on you!

- Here it comes... here it comes...

(Weak moans)

(Straining) - Here it-- I got nothin'.

- Way to go, Owen.

The one time we need you to fart

you can't get it out.

- Leshawna, this whole thing is your fault

and you didn't help at all!

- For the last time, I DO NOT FART!

- (weak) Please...

- I can't do it Smelliott, I'm sorry!

- That's okay.

It's been great knowing you.

(Door thuds)

- What's going on here?!

- Oh no! They're gonna capture the fart fairy!

- NO THEY WON'T.

Smelliott, this is for you.

And Planet Earth!

- Retreat!

(Huge fart)

(All coughing)

- Wow Leshawna.

- (Deep inhales)

♪♪♪

(Heroic music)

- Whoa. Look at him go.

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(All Cheer) Woo-hooo! - Yeah!

- It's so beautiful.

- Sorry I fairy-napped you.

You're sure you have to go? - I do,

but you keep farting and I'll keep coming back.

Oh, and sorry about that tooth, kiddo.

Keep the change.

- BUCKS?! Thanks!

All: Bye, Smelliott!

(Farts) - Smell ya later!!!

(Rumbling) - Uh oh, guys!

My tummy feels weird!

I think the chili chips are working.

- Right on schedule.

(Rumbling)

- Uh-oh.

(Rumbling)

- He's gonna blow!

- TAKE COVER!

(Fart blows up the earth)

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