02x26 - Duncan Carving

[bunniefuu]

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- (Howls)

Beth: What a haul this year! I'm going in!

(Munching sounds)

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- MMM... Why do treats taste so much better

after the thr*at of tricks? (Chomp)

(Car rumbles) - (Groans)

- Do you have black licorice?

I'll trade whatever you want for black licorice!

(Loud clank)

- Oh, hey, Chef.

How come you're not eating Halloween candy?

- Oh, I have something better than candy.

Boards and nails. (Nervous giggle)

(Hammering)

Us teachers refer to the day after Halloween

as SUGARGEDDON!

The kids eat all their candy at once and go BERSERK.

It's challenging.

(Deranged laughter, flames crackle)

(Extinguisher whooshes)

- YAY! - WHEEEEEEE!

(Extinguisher whooshes) (Landing thuds) OW!

(Exhales) Those sugar maniacs will never think

to look for me out here.

Huh? (Screaming) (Kids laughing)

- HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? STOP THAT!

AHHHHHHHH!

(Screaming)

WHERE'D THIS HILL COME FROM? (Crash)

So this year I'm finally making Halloween safe!

For me.

By barricading myself in the office!

(Bag rustles) OH NO!

I finished my candy before everyone else

AGAIN this year?

Maybe the others will lend me some of theirs?

(Whistling) Hey,

All: (Hiss and roar) - Ahhhhh!

Apparently, the rest of these animals

are NOT into sharing!

That's it, I need to find something

to take my mind off of candy.

We sure did a good job on the Jack-o'lantern this year.

She is a beaut!

NOW LET'S SMASH IT! - (All gasps)

- NO! We can't smash the jack-o'lantern.

It's like a member of the class.

- Exactly! That we get to smash.

- I didn't spend an hour scooping pumpkin guts

so you could ruin it.

- Seriously?! What is wrong with you people?

Smashing pumpkins the day after Halloween is tradition!

(All yelling)

(Nails on board) All: AHHHHHHHH!

- (Cringes) Oh wow.

Is that the sound nails on a chalkboard make?

Ugh. That's awful.

Anyway, I know none of us WANT to smash a pumpkin.

But sadly... WE HAVE TO.

- Why? - But why?

- Wait. YOU want to smash it, Izzy?

- Sure do. 'Cuz if we don't, it'll turn into...

(echo) CARVIN MARVIN!

All: AHHHHHHHH!

All: Wait! Who?

- Allow me to explain...

'Twas once a little boy who liked candy...

but all he got for Halloween were pumpkin seeds.

Even though he didn't like them,

he ate every last one.

And then a pumpkin grew in his guts

and turned his head into a JACK-O'LANTERN!"

All: (scream)

- Wait! I'm not done!

And now he wants revenge by eating your candy!

And if you don't hand it over?

He'll eat YOU!

Okay, now you can scream. All: (Scream)

He even has a creepy jingle:

♪ Now here's a thing that's fine and dandy ♪

♪ I'll eat you up if you don't gimme your candy ♪

(Deranged cackle)

- Okay, the cackle really sold it.

- SMASH IT! SMASH IT NOW!

- (CHANTING) SMASH-IT! SMASH-IT! SMASH-IT!

- A ridiculous, made-up monster who steals candy!

That's perfect!

And here I thought my day was over

just cuz I finished my stash early.

(Sighs) Thank you, Izzy!

Wait! We can't smash this pumpkin!

- So now you don't wanna smash it?

- A man can change, Owen.

After all, it's a part of the class, remember?

(Crickets chirp)

Okay. Doubtful looks noted.

But we're not gonna destroy a priceless work of art

based on something Izzy said, are we?

She thought ice cream came from frozen cows!

- (Effort grunts)

Can you suck it in a little Bessie?

- (Annoyed groan)

- Technically, I did get five scoops outta that cow.

(Licks) Mmm. All: EWWW!

- That's what I thought.

Now I, Duncan, will heroically hide this

where Izzy won't find it.

- What a good guy. - (Sighs)

- Agh. There!

I'm gonna scare the nougat outta this entire class.

(Sighs)

Nope. Not scary enough. Let's see...

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And the final touch.

Now we're talkin'!

(Evil cackle)

- Toothpaste? Ooh la la!

It's like I'm the King of England--

(Screams)

- (Monster voice) It is I, Carvin Marvin!

- Carvin Marvin?! Please don't eat me!

- Wait a minute...

why do you have another jack-o'lantern on your shirt?

- Oh yeah. It is kind of a hat-on-a-hat, isn't it?

- And aren't you supposed to have a rhyme?

- A rhyme? Oh, right. Uh...

Gimme your candy, little Cody!

Or I'll eat your brains and hit the roadie!

- That's not how it goes.

- Grrr, how 'bout I eat your ears

so you don't have to hear it anymore.

- Yup. That was terrifying.

AHHHHHHHH!

HELLLP! - Help?

Nice try, sugar fiends!

But ya can't fool ol' Cheffy!

- (Munching sounds) - Help!

Carvin Marvin is real and he stole my candy!

- Cody, are you sure it was him?

- You have a history of getting things wrong.

- Niiiiice kitty! - (Growls)

- (Licks) Ow, too hot!

I love you, Mommy.

(All in agreement) - Yeah. Mhmm-mm.

- (Cackles) (Effort grunts)

(Cackles)This is gonna be like taking candy from...

some valued classmates whose age

has nothing to do with ability.

That's right.

Fight baby-shaming, y'all.

- (Heavy breathing, munching) AHH!

- Before I let you catch your breath,

gimme the candy or I eat Beth!

(Evil cackle)

- AHH!

- Hey, big guy, how's it goin'?!

Gimme the treats or I eat Owen!

- No, not my Halloween candy!

Take me instead!

TAKE ME INSTEAD!

- Um... ew? No?

- (Effort grunts)

CANDYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

- (Whistling)

- Look, nothing rhymes with Courtney,

so just hand it over.

- AHHHHHHHH!

- Wait, did she organize her candy?

Unbelievable.

- Baby want more candy? There you go.

(expl*si*n)

Aww, baby's first Sugar-rush.

(Panicked yelling)

- Izzy! You were right!

Carvin Marvin is here and he took our candy!

- Yeah! You should have tried harder to warn us!

Way to drop the ball, Izzy!

- I saw the Marvin first.

- Sure you did, Cody.

- So is there a way to stop it?!

- Oh, there's a way alright. Hmm...

All: WELL WHAT IS IT?! - Oh. Right.

Marvin is all about getting good Halloween candy.

His weakness is the junk no one wants.

- Of course! Like sunflower seeds,

raisins, candy corn,

and the worst of all...

black licorice!

(Burp, satisfied sigh) - This is the life!

One more big score and I'll head to the Bahamas

to live out my days as a black market candy trader.

- I sure hope Carvin Marvin

doesn't find me with this--

Huge box of delicious candy!

- And there it is!

(Evil cackle)

- What's "stage left"?

- (SCARY YELL) - AHHHHHHHH!

- Huh. That was almost too easy. Oh well...

- Trick or treat, gourd brain!

Eat SUNFLOWER SEEDS!

(MACHINE g*n FIRE)

- OW-OW-OW-OW-OW! QUIT IT!

AHHHHHHHH!

- FIRE... RAISINS!

- OOF! OW! NO STOP!

Ahhh! I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!

(Banging) Chef, help! Help!

- The horror. The horror.

- Help!

- You thought black licorice was bad before,

you're gonna hate it now.

Get ready to taste some PAIN!

- HEY! WHO TOOK ALL MY CANDY?

- Yeah? Well you can't hit what you can't see!

(Clicks off lights) Awwwww, lollipop.

OOOOOUCHIEEEEEEEEE!

WHAT? QUICK SAND?!

- Nope, candy corn!

It's basically quicksand.

Except quicksand doesn't taste like plastic dog barf.

(Shudders)

- Now let's see how scary you are without this!

- NO WAIT! DON'T-

- (All gasp) Duncan! - (Scooby Doo) HRRUHHHH?

- You mean the Carvin Marvin was Duncan all along?!

Wait... of course it was.

- I mean, who else would it be?

- And I would've gotten away with it too

if it wasn't for you meddling classmates!

Now get me outta here!

- First we want our candy back!

- All of it?! Fine!

It's in the tree house. - (All cheer) Yeah!

- I should've just smashed that pumpkin

when I had the chance.

Wait. Where's the pumpkin?

- (Ahem) - AHHHHHHHHHHH!

- 'Tis I, Carvin Marvin,

and thanks for your pumpkin.

Now give me your candy or I'm eating Duncan!

- B-b-but I ate all my candy...

- Oh. Well y'know what that means.

I mean, it's right in the rhyme.

(Roars) - AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

- IT'S CARVIN MARVIN! Help!

- Should we help him? - Sure!

Right after we run out of candy.

(Eating sounds) (Duncan screaming)

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