02x28 - Dude Where's Macaw

[bunniefuu]

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(Video game sounds) - AHH! ALIEN att*ck!

C'MON, BIRD! BAD ALIEN!

DON'T BITE ME! GAH!

- What's going on in there?

- We gotta get outta here, Chef's being eaten by aliens!

- What?! And no one is recording it?!

(Kicking thud)

- You wanna nibble?! NIBBLE ON THIS!

SUPER EGG STORM!

(sh**ting sounds)

- I don't think those are eggs.

- Lock Jaw Macaw is laying down the law!

- (Victory bird call) Ha ha!

Oh. Ugh (clears throat)

Hi kids.

- Whatch'ya dooo'in?

- Brushing up on my gaming skills.

(Laughing)

- That's a video game?! - Did you make it yourself?!

- No. This is Macaw Wash!

It's the greatest game ever made!

And you are looking at the world champion.

- Huh... weird we never noticed that.

- Winning that tournament

was the greatest moment of my life.

To this day I am the greatest gamer alive!

(Victory bird call) Macaw!

- Yeah... no.

You couldn't handle a game made this century.

- Bring it.

- This is the TW, deluxe HDR K edition.

- Oooh, fancy letters and numbers.

TW: Time-Waster. .

(Zapping)

- OOF! That all it got?

- That was just the intro screen.

The hot multi-player right now is Painapple.

It's a fighting game where cyborg pineapples

give each other kid-friendly minor injuries.

- Painapple is rotten to the core!

Beth: I hope you like small injuries!

Because this minor is about to give abrasions!

- What's the big deal?

- Beth is the current champion!

She destroyed Duncan yesterday!

Pounded him like a bongo drum!

b*at him like dough on cookie day! Clobbered--

- You made your point!

- Well-well. If it isn't Duncan.

You ready to get DUNKED-AGAIN?!

- I-Er-...no.

- I'll take you on.

(All gasp)

- I never played before, but I'm sure that won't matter.

I'm a champion.

- Jude, Izzy, Cody

(snaps fingers) hoist me.

(Effort grunts)

Well, you better back your bags.

Cuz you're goin' on a bruise cruise!

- Since when do you talk trash?

- Since the game.

- You're goin' on a bruise cruise!

- That pineapple's a bad influence.

- Enough boring talk.

Let's do this!

- Painapples... fight! (Bell dings)

- PINCH! PINCH!

(Video game sounds) - Whoa! Hey!

This pineapple handles horribly!

- (Pained grunts) - EAR FLICK!

- It ain't no bird!

- PAPER CUT! - Aghhhhhh!

- Beth wins... flawless victory!

- Champ? More like chump.

- UGH! Just once I wanna see Beth lose!

- I-I don't know what happened.

I was the greatest gamer alive.

- Aww, don't feel bad. You had your day.

You're just yesterday's news now.

Like a caveman A washed up old fossil. A--

- Stop trying to cheer me up, you're horrible at it.

- Wait. What if we could turn you back into a champion?

- By helping me train hard so I master the game

and b*at Beth in the greatest comeback of all time?!

- What? No. That'll take too long.

I'm saying we hack the game

to make it look like you got good.

- But... isn't that cheating? - Not if you do it!

It'll be like an old man using a cane.

- Well, when you put it that way... it's hurtful.

Hm. I dunno...

- I found a million different hacks.

Do we want faster ear flicks, wedgier wedgies?

- Just load them all. - No, wait!

(Zapping)

- Whoa... - Uh oh.

- I'm free at last!

- WOW, this is amazing!

- Amazing? I'll show you amazing!

The amazing world of paaaiinnnn!

Ear-flick, ear-flick, minor abrasion!

Nooooogieeeeeeeee!

(Light thud)

- OOF!

- No one controls Painapple!

(Stomping)

- What just happened?

- Let me outta here! You can't contain the pain.

- We gotta get rid of that thing before someone gets hurt!

- No! We gotta get rid of that thing before someone sees it

and finds out that you tried to cheat!

- They'll be so disappointed in you.

- Me? But you two did it!

- We're minors, we can't be held responsible!

You should've stopped us.

- Stopped you from what?

- Uh... - Nothing!

Chef says early recess today!

(All cheering, laughing)

- Phew, good thinking. Now back to the monster.

- Hey, the pounding stopped.

- Awwwww, pineapples.

(Playful laughter)

- TEETER-TOTTER! TEETER-SLAUGHTER!

(Pained grunts)

Chef: Over there!

You kids okay?

- Something just played basketball

with my brain bucket. - Well, I don't know

what that has to do with a giant pineapple!

(Nervous chuckle)

Now scoot on inside where it's safe...

from nothing in particular. - Ahh!

- I think we scared it off.

- Uh, Chef? Monkey bars.

(Pained screams)

- Ankle sprain! Ankle sprain! (Laughs)

- HEY!

- I didn't like that game.

- (Chuckles) You kids.

Stop monkeying around and get inside!

I think it's gone.

- (Gasps) Tree house!

- (Sly cackle) - It's slide o'clock!

Wheeeeee...

OWIE-OWIE-OWIE-CARPET?!

- Carpet burn! - Ahhh! OOOF!

- HA HA!

- Whu-was that Painapple?

- HA! That's just a game.

And this is no game! Everyone inside!

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(Hammering)

There. Just some safety features,

nothing to be alarmed about.

All: (Pained grunts)

- I think I have carpet burn on my tongue.

- (Sighs) Children, I have a confession to make. I--

- Tried to cheat at Painapple, used too many hacks

and brought it to life? Yeah. It's pretty obvious!

- How'd you know-- - (Pounding)

PAIN DELIVERY! OPEN UP!

(Banging)

- This is hard to admit, but I'm outta my league.

I'm not the gamer I used to be.

I don't know how to fix this.

- Chef, you can fix this...

by stepping aside and letting me handle it.

I got a craving for roasted pineapple!

(Crash)

- (att*ck yell)

(Pained cries)

- LEAP PULL!

ANKLE BITER!

- AHHHH! - KITTY CAT SCRATCH!

- AGHHHH!

- See. Not so tough.

Uh oh.

But how?!

- It's because of Duncan's hacks.

Painapple is basically invincible!

- Painapple at %.

- Beth couldn't b*at it. Do you know what this means?

She's no longer the champ!

Ha ha! In your face, Beth!

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!

- What do we do now?!

- It's over, man. Game over.

We're done. Toast!

- Wait. In Chef's ancient game from the stone age,

didn't the Macaw eat pineapples?

- Yeah, but so what?

- Ugh, how're you not getting this if I am?

We need to bring your Macaw to life to fight Painapple!

(Crash)

- HA! HA! HA!

PREPARE FOR SUPERFICIAL DOOM!

- AW MAN. The second hole?

Do you know how long it takes to fix those?

- Chef, focus!

- Right. You kids go get the Macaw,

I'll stall the Painapple.

Hey Painapple! Come pink my belly!

(Pants) (Pained cries)

(Punching thuds, pained cries)

OWWW!

- (Laughing) - Hurry, kids!

- This game is actually pretty fun.

- Weren't we supposed to be doing something?

(Both): (Gasp) The hacks!

(Laughing)

- Ah! The agony!

We need a softer carpet!

- RUG BURN! AGH!

(Video game sounds)

- Lock Jaw Macaw is laying down the law!

(Victory bird call)

- (Victory bird call)

Looks like Macaw is Macaw'lin you out!

(Battle caw)

- (Cheering) YEAH!

(att*ck squawks)

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

- Uh... what's the bird doing?

- Macaw has no depth perception!

It's a D game!

Ugh, old games really are lame!

(Pained squawks)

(Pained cries, crash)

(Chef groans) (Game over sounds)

All: CHEF, HELP!

- That does it. I'm through playin'.

- (Cackles, snaps fingers)

(Smashing sounds)

AAAAAAAH!

AHHHHH!

(Smashing sounds)

PAINAPPLE DEFEATED!

(Game over sounds)

- I don't think anyone's ever said this before,

but video games are violent.

- (Sighs) My gamer days were great while they lasted.

But they were over long ago.

- Are you kidding, Chef,

that was the greatest win I've ever seen!

- You really are the world's greatest gamer!

- (Victory bird call)

- Uh, where'd the Macaw go?

(Car alarm blares) - That's m'car!

(Splatting)

- Told you those weren't eggs!

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