02x34 - Me, My Elf, and I

[bunniefuu]

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Courtney: And this is me at the mall

asking Santa for the Junior Executive desktop organizer

for Christmas.

- Cool! I'm gonna ask for a bee hive.

- I'm asking for a remote controlled soccer ball!

- I'm gonna ask the big guy for a rocket

to blow up Chef's car. And then I'm gonna--

- (Bursting into laughter)

Sorry-sorry-sorry.

Please, (ahem) please,

tell us what you're going to ask Santa for.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Bhahahaha! Ooooo. Heh. Ohhhh...

- What's your problem, Courtney?

- I think she finds it funny

that you think you're on Santa's nice list.

- 'Cause kids who aren't nice go on

(hushed) the naughty list.

- Face it, Duncan, ya naughty.

- HA! Me? Naughty? Prove it.

(Snaps fingers)

- (Excited giggling)

Agh! (Splat)

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(Loud expl*si*n) - Ahhhh!

- (Licking)

(Crying)

(Growling) - Ah! Ow!

- Should I keep going?

- No problem.

I'll just be super good today and BOOM,

off the naughty list.

Easy as takin' candy from a baby.

- (Angry growling)

- What's with this baby?!

(Blocks clatter)

- Aw, I'll never finish Castle Cody.

- Allow me!

- Oooooh!

(Straining while he fights temptation)

(Grunts, kicking thud, blocks clatter)

- Being nice is hard! Ugh.

I need a new plan.

(Gasps, snaps fingers)

What if there was no naughty list?

All I gotta do is hack Santa's computer

and delete it.

But how will I get to the North Pole?

Chef: Kids, time for arts and crafts!

- Ooo. That gives me an idea.

- Nice reindeer, Izzy.

Oh, great garland, Courtney.

Cool snowman, Cody.

- It's a spooky ghost.

- Aw. You're a confused little fella.

What're you making, Duncan?

- A nice card for Santa.

- AHHHH! DUNCAN, NO!

You can't send this to Santa,

you'd be in big, BIG trouble.

- (Faking) I would?

- YES! Shred and bury it in the woods. Quick!

You never know when he's watching.

- Okay. I'll get rid of it.

And now for phase two of my plan.

(Evil giggle)

Chef, I think I did something stupid!

- I believe that. Whaddya do?

- Instead of shredding and burying that card,

I accidentally mailed it to Santa.

- WHAT?!

- Whadda we gunna do?!

- We got no choice! Come on!

Kids! Emergency situation!

We gotta head to the North Pole, right now.

- Should we put on winter coats and mittens

thereby changing all of our character designs?

- We don't have the budget for that!

This is gonna be a long and dangerous journey.

LET'S MOVE!

Woo! That was a long and dangerous journey,

but we made it.

Wait... where is Cody?

(Polar bear roars) Cody: AHHH!

- For the last time, the kids are NOT for eating, Tammy!

(Frustrated groan) (Kick thud, Bunny screams)

- There. Now we all blend in.

- Are we gonna see Santa now?!

- No! DO NOT go looking for Santa.

All: Awwwwww.

- This is a stealth mission.

I just need to find the mailroom

and destroy Duncan's letter.

You kids wait right here 'til I get back.

No shenanigans!

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- Whoa. Santa's reindeer must be over that way.

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- (Gasp) Let's go!

- AHEM. Chef said to wait here.

All: (Cheer) Yeah! Let's do this!

- Chef said-WAIIIT!

- Time to delete a naughty list.

♪ Dun dun dundun ♪

♪ Spy Chef ♪

♪ Dun dun--♪

Oh, uh...

(high pitched elf voice) Hi. I'm new.

Just heading to the mail room... which is...?

Thank-ahem- (elf voice) Thank you.

- Oh. Finally!

I called upstairs for a bathroom break

over an hour ago. - That's why I'm here.

- Good. I gotta present to drop off.

- (Shudders)

Ohhh. It's gonna take forever to find Duncan's letter.

Well, better get to it.

- Chef won't be in the mailroom long

so I better get hacking.

(Knuckles cr*ck)

- Hold it right there, pal!

Who are ya and whaddya doin'?!

- I'm here for a systems check.

Holiday police are worried Santa's naughty list

can get hacked.

- Dude. I've been telling Santa

we need a better firewall for years now.

Lemme show you everything.

- Please do.

- Ahhhh!

There they are! All: (Cheer)

- Wait! This is a stealth mission!

Do NOT go into the-- (Sighs)

They're in the pen.

- This is so amazing! - Aren'tch you a cutie!

You're like a horsie with head branches!

- Why are you misbehaving?!

You're all gonna be in big trouble with Santa.

Ohhhhh.

They are pretty cute.

Look oats! Let's feed the reindeer!

- Well... I guess there's no harm in feeding them.

- I've found it!

This looks like Duncan's writing!

Better be sure.

Don't wanna rip up some other kid's letter to Santa.

- Yes! This is Dunc-AHH!!

(Blowing)

No-no-no-no!

(Flames roar) No-no-no!

NOOOO!

(Keys clack)

Lloyd the I.T. elf: This is it, the naughty list.

So, you see the security flaw, right?

- Yes, um,

'cause if some naughty kid wanted to delete this list,

forever, he'd just have to...

- Just hit control alt unnaughty!

And POOF! It's gone!

- Totally unacceptable that someone

could delete it by just doing THIS...

(Computer chimes)

- GAHHH! WHY'D YOU DO THAT, MAN?

- 'Cause I AM the naughty kid, sucker!

(Cackling, farting)

- Joke's on you, Bucko!

Santa has a master list he keeps with him at all times.

And YOU... ugh...

are in big trouble.

- Awwww mannnn.

(Fire extinguisher whooshes)

Phew! That did NOT go as planned,

but at least I'm off the hook with Santa.

- Oh-oh-oh, I don't think so.

- Who's a good little reindeer?

You are, that's who! - (BURPS)

- (Gasps) These bags say,

"Feed reindeer these magic oats on Christmas Eve ONLY!"

- Something's happening!

(Whooshing, POOF!)

Izzy: Be free!! (Bells jingle)

- Uh oh. - Yeah, this is bad.

(Alarm blares)

- Okay, I need to find Santa, tell him what happened,

and that I told you not to do it!

- I'm guessing they're with you?!

- Courtney made us do it. - (Shocked gasp)

- Hey, where's Duncan? - Whoa! (Grunts)

- There he is. Hi Duncan!

- Okay. Let me explain what happened.

- Save it for Santa.

My guess is you're all going onto the naughty list.

PERMANENTLY!

- What?! - NOO! - (Horror scream)

- I'm not going down for this!

Ooof!

(Boinging repeatedly)

- Whoa ho-ho-ho! What were you thinking?!

- These kids are bad! - But I never do wrongies.

- I didn't want to. - I told them not to.

- Our teacher made us! - I'm an angel!

- HO-HO-HOLLLD ON.

Actions have consequences.

You're all going on the naughty list.

- (Everyone gasps)

- WHAT? No!

You're-you-you big,

red, bearded tomato!

(Crying)

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said that.

(Muffled delirious sobbing)

- I'll start with Courtney. - WAIT!!

- Something to say, Duncan?

- (Sighs)

I tricked my teacher into bringing us here

so I could hack your computer system

and delete my name from the naughty list.

- Huh. I see.

- So you can blame me...

but they shouldn't miss out on Christmas

because of what I did.

- Duncan, I'm impressed.

You really are a very honest and kind little boy.

- Can we edit out what Santa just said

about me being "kind"? - (Cody screaming)

- It'll totally ruin my street cred!

(Sigh) I just don't want my friends

to have a lousy Christmas because of me. Okay?

- You are going on the nice list...

for the first time... EVER.

- And they get to stay on the nice list too, right?

- Ho Ho No. They started a fire

And let my reindeer go,

and instead of telling the truth,

they tried to blame each other.

That's naughty.

All: (Sigh)

(Sad music)

- Worst. (crunch) Christmas.

(crunch) Ever. (crunch)

Duncan: Oh, you sure about that? Think fast!

- (Thud) OOF!

(Mechanical whirring)

- A remote controlled soccer ball!

- Yup. Ho Ho Ho!

Ugh, I hate acting jolly, so here.

- A bee hive! Awesome! - (Buzzing)

- My Junior Executive Desktop Organizer!

Duncan... how did you get all this stuff?

- I used my Christmas wishes for stuff you wanted.

And don't get sappy.

- You know what, Duncan,

you might belong on the nice list after all.

- You might not feel that way in a second.

- Huh?

- (Beep) - (Fireworks explode)

(expl*si*n) Chef: MY CAR!

Duncan: (Laughs) Merry Christmas, everyone!

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