02x37 - Simply Perfect

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Total DramaRama". Aired: September 1, 2018 –
April 15, 2023
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

Series re-introduces some of the original "Total Drama" characters in an alternate universe where they are aged down from teenagers to toddlers, being taken care of by Chef Hatchet.
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02x37 - Simply Perfect

Post by bunniefuu »

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Chef: SNACK EMERGENCY!

SNACK EMERGENCY! Everyone eat up!

We got Eggs! We got Walnuts!

We got Omega 's, 's and 's!

And we got KAAALE!

- Kaaale?! (Gulp, spits)

(Chocking)

MMPH! Oooooh! It burns. IT BURNS!

- It's brain food!

We gotta smarten you kids up, pronto!

Chef! These walnuts still have the shells on them!

- They do?

(Crunch, shattering, gulps)

Tastes good to me! - What is going on?!

- Don't be alarmed.

But the school board is coming to perform mandatory testing

that no one is prepared for.

TODAY!

- Testing? Today?!

But why didn't anyone tell me?

- I got an email about it a few months ago,

but I completely forgot until I saw it on the news!

- World-wide school testing begins today.

So remember, if your kids fail, blame the teacher.

♪ Tam ta da! ♪

(Screams)

- You kids gotta pass the tests. I need this job!

- Yeah, but if we fail, nothing will happen to us!

- Wrong. The kids who don't pass the test

get sent to work at...

the cheese factory.

- OOoh. I love cheese!

- Ha! You won't for long.

Every shift is hours long

and there are no days off.

There's cheese everywhere,

But you're not allowed to eat any!

If you try, you'll get ZAPPED by lasers

until you..... EXPLODE!

- (All gasp)

- You guys aren't seriously believing

Harold's fake story about--

- We need to start studying now!

- OR we can just order THIS!

BEHOLD! The BRAIN STRAIN !

It makes you the smartest person in the room.

It says so right in the ad!

(Classical music plays) (Soft slurp)

I could say with some authority, that's true.

(Thud) Ahh!

- (Groans)

- That's cheating! Only studying can make you smart.

Chef, what's going to be on the test?

- No clue! Math! History! Emotions!

Flavor profiles! Who knows?

It was all in the email,

but then there was a terrible administrative error.

♪ Chef and jelly donut time! ♪

♪ Chef and jelly donut time! ♪

(Splat, computer fizzles)

(expl*si*n) Whoa!

What is in this donut?!

- You don't even know what's going to be on the test?!

- Uh oh. Her eye's twitching.

- Yep. Storm's a comin'.

- No. I'm okay. It's okay.

That's okay. We're okay.

We don't know what's on the test. No problem.

We'll just have to study...

everything!

(Screams)

♪ Ta ta! ♪

- Okay. Start with the easy stuff.

Computer voice: Spell antidisestablishmentarianism.

- A-N-T-I-D-EEEEE!!

(Chain saw buzzes)

Ugh! I'm trying to study!

Do you have to do that right now?

- Well, ice melts, Courtney, so...

yeah.

(Chain saws buzz loudly)

- I don't need to study anyway.

I'm brilliant. Watch:

X is....

I-I DON'T KNOW!

(Slapping) FIND A! WAY TO!

PASS THIS TEST!

(Owen whistling, ball thuds)

(Thud) - ARGGGGGH!

- Sorry.

- Why isn't anyone taking this seriously?!

- Well... we can't study everything.

So we decided to study nothing.

- (Yawns) Wake me up when it's time

to go to the cheese factory.

But if we study we could--

(Duncan laughs)

- You're not even going to try?

- Nope.

(Bat cracks, glass shatters)

- (Moans) Where are you going?

- I'm all packed up for the cheese factory.

- Goodbye toy box. (kiss)

Goodbye spinny globe planet. (kiss)

- I'm gonna miss that globe.

I wiped all my boogers on it.

- I have my whole life mapped out.

University. Double PHD in math slash horseback riding.

A summerhouse in Malibu.

I can't just give up;

I have to pass this test!

I guess Harold's silly idea isn't so bad after all.

The Brain Strain You're my last hope.

(Phone ringing)

I could feel you judging me. Stop it.

(Engine roars, tires screech)

(Glass shatters) AAAH!

This better be worth the cents!

(reads) "Place on head before activating Brain Strain ."

Okay... here we go!

(Beep) Whoa. (Zapping) Whoooa-a-a-a.

(Whooshing)

That's funny. I don't feel any smarter.

But I was pretty smart already.

Hmm. Better test myself!

. Seconds?

That's the same time I always get.

Urgh, I just got ripped off!

That dumb BRAIN HAT didn't work!

- Huh? Sorry I was watching my new favorite show.

It's called "Blank Square"

and it. Is. Awesome.

- The tablet's not on.

- Hey, I was watching that!

(Relieved sigh) So good...

- Okay... weird.

- Oh hey, Courtney!

I finally found the perfect place to tunnel!

(Crash)

(inside cabinet) Woohoo! I'm free!

- Umm. Actually...

- Check out my Lumpy dog!

I found it at the animal library.

- You stole a camel from the zoo?!

- Haha! Camels aren't a real thing!

(Knocking) - My tunnel has a door?!

COOOOOOL!

- Something weird is going on.

I better tell Chef!

Chef! Something strange is goi--

- ZIP-TA-BABA!!!

Look I built a little track to race cars on.

Wait here! (Giggling)

(Engine starts, tires screech)

(Crash) - Ahhhhh!

- Winner Winner chicken for supper!

- What happened to everyone?!

- Don't know, but if there's a grade worse than F,

that's what they'll get.

- Gwen? You seem normal. I mean, for you.

- All I know is I was in my egg chair

and there were a weird sound

and now Owen thinks the garbage is Santa Claus.

- Santa, your breath smells kinda funny!

- Weird sound?

(Gasp) Oh no...

it must have something to do with this thing!

- We should call the help line.

Number's on the back of the box.

(Buttons beeps, line rings)

- Brain Strain help line!

- Hi! I used your product and--

- Has anyone poured chocolate sauce on their head

and declared themselves a dessert yet?

- I'M A SUNDAE! (Giggling)

- Does butterscotch count? - Yes!

It is definitely working.

Thank you for purchasing the--

- But it didn't make ME smarter.

It just made everyone else, well...

less smart than they already were.

- That's how it works!

There's no hat that can make people smarter.

This isn't the future.

But you are now the smartest person in that room.

- How do we reverse it?

- Yeah. We haven't figured that out yet.

But our best scientists are working on it!

(Sniffs, splash)

(Glass shatters, button clicks)

I gotta go! If you figure out how to reverse it

please call us back!

- This is really bad.

Owen: WOOOOOHOOOOOOO! (Pins clatter)

(Laughing)

(Landing thud)

- A boot is just a cereal bowl you wear on your feet!

- They're ALL going to fail the test!

Because of me!

- Glad it's not my fault.

I'd feel awful. Guilty.

Mortified. Ashamed.

- OKAY. OKAY.

(Gasp) What if we teach them?! Come on, Gwen!

We can do this! - Whoa!

(Blows whistle) Class is in session!

♪♪♪

(Both gasp)

- Ahhhhhhh!

(Screaming)

- (Gasps) - (Groans)

(Giggling, crash)

Ha ha! All: Yay! (Cheering)

- GRRRR!

(Gasps) - (Giggling)

(Splat, giggling)

(Splat, giggling)

- (Gasp) - (Groans)

(Doorbell rings)

- Oh no... the school tester is here

and no one learned anything.

I'm going to try and fake it,

but in case I have to use my plan B

you should get into your egg chair!

You'll be safe there.

The class is just out here.

Right this way.

All: (Giggling)

- Would you believe they're just, um, learning...

about... mud-camel displacement?

- Are you kidding me?

I am gonna fail every one of you so hard

it'll make your-- - You've left me no choice!

(Button beeps)

(Whooshing)

- WOOOHOOOOOO!

(Splash, giggling)

(Splashing, giggling)

- Did your plan work? - Yup!

No tester means no tests. BOOM.

Another problem solved by Courtney!

- This just in.

People all around the world are acting a little... kooky.

PICTURES!

Now let's surf!

(Thuds)

How do you fit all the people inhere?

So smalllllll. (Static)

- Howwww? - You used it outside,

so now we're the two smartest people left on earth.

- I can't. I can't...

- WHOA! Wait. What are you doing?

- Do you really want to spend the rest of your life,

just you and me, taking care of all of them?!

(Splashing, giggling)

- I hate it when you're right.

- Don't worry. You and I will never be right again.

(Beep)

(Whooshing) (Zaps)

(Splat) - Yeehawww!

(Splashing) (All giggling)

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