03x14 - Cody the Barbarian

[bunniefuu]

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Chef: Cody!

There's a... wizard here to see you.

This episode got weird fast.

- Gosh. Are you a real wizard?

- There's no such thing as wizards.

I'm only dressed like this 'cause my rent

ain't gonna pay itself.

- It would if you were a wizard.

- Which bring us back to,

"there's no such thing as wizards!"

- Sounds like you just need to believe in yourself more.

- Oh, good. A toddler who's a motivational speaker.

Just what the world needs!

Anyhoo, I'm on the clock here, so...

(Smoke poofs)

(reads) "Heed me, oh, Cody!

Your late Uncle hath sent me to giveth you to an epic quest.

Worthy heir, will thy proveth yourself to be?"

- Wow!

I do not understand you.

- (Groans) Okay. Plain English.

- Ow!

- Cody, your Great Uncle, Larry Console, has passed away.

- Larry Console? CEO of the Larry Console Corp,

and the greatest videogame creator of all time?

- Yep. That's Cody's uncle.

And Cody inherits everything

if he can b*at this game Larry left behind for him.

"Consolia Quest."

After entering the Consolia world,

all you need to do is find the crown,

place it on your head, and sit upon the royal throne.

You can take five friends to help you complete this...

dangerous quest.

- Cody, let me help you get to that throne.

I will be your humble servant. Because I am the best!

- Wow. Okay.

- I play all your uncle's games,

so I know the Consolia world.

My knowledge would be invaluable!

- Welcome to Team Cody!

- Can I join too?

This doesn't sound nerdy and boring to me at all!

I read through this scroll.

The first person who sits on the throne

with the crown on their head gets Larry's fortune!

Forget helping Cody!

I'm gonna get rich!

- What? I am so in!

- Ugh. I'll deal with him later.

- You both wanna help Cody?

- Nothing brings me happiness like Cody's happiness.

- Awww! Hug train coming.

Hugga-hugga-hugga-hugga hugga-hugga-choo-choo!

- Keep it in the station, doofus!

- Cody's the best.

I think about being his friend all the time.

- Well, I'm not sure...

that I could be any happier right now!

What a great team!

- I don't know where you're going,

but I just pooped a loaf of bread

that clogged Chef's toilet for life.

I should get outta town for a bit.

- And that makes five. My super team is assembled!

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- (Sniffs, gags) - Okay...

- I'm gonna help my buddy Cody win this inheritance.

With me on his team, it's a guaranteed win!

- Once I activate the game,

you'll be sucked into Console's digital fantasy world.

Good luck.

(Beeps, whirring)

- So they're gone forever, right?

- Nope. - Oh.

Harold: (Gasps) We're inside Consolia!

And we're dressed as different classes to reflect

our abilities inside the game!

- Cody, you're a noble knight,

brave and skilled with a sword.

- At home my mom cuts my meat for me.

- I'm a wizard. Beth's a stealthy thief.

Leshawna's a berserker warrior.

Duncan's a jester who can entertain us all

with his bedazzled hoops!

- I will not be doing that.

- And Lightning is a bard,

capable of brightening a mood with his lute!

- I can't protect Cody with a lute!

Leshawna, give me one of your axes!

- Try that again, and you'll get an axe

in the worst way possible!

- We should move. This is the Dragon Forest!

Beth: Harold? What's up with this guy?

- (Roaring)

(Coins clink) - Run!

(All screaming)

- I like this game.

- Whoa! What just happened?

- If you bite it in the game,

it ejects you back into the real world.

- That is soooo disappointing.

- So what do we do now?

- Uh, head to the village to find the crown, obviously!

- I mean about the dragon!

- Oh. Keep running!

- Ooh! Getting dragged makes my bum hot.

- Hold up!

- That dragon's gonna catch up to us any minute!

- Yes, it will!

And I've got a plan that'll get rid of Harold, Cody,

and Lightning.

- Then it'd just be me against you

for the inheritance? I'm in!

- Okay, here's the plan.

- (Panting)

Quick break to catch our breath,

then we keep moving.

- Oh, I'm good to go.

- Best day ever!

I mean, other than Beth getting roasted like a wiener

by a dragon.

- If I had a w*apon instead of a lute,

I'd show that dragon who's boss.

(Dragon roars) - We should get moving again.

- Gotcha! - Whoa! What're you doing?!

- Making you into a dragon snack!

Leshawna, get Cody and Harold!

Leshawna? Aaaaaah! Oof! Ohhh...

- Nobody messes with my team!

- Nice one, Leshawna!

- Wait! This was her plan.

- And why would we believe you?

- Just because I tried to feed you to a dragon

in order to steal Cody's fortune,

doesn't mean I'm a liar! (Loud crash)

- Dragon! - Aaaaaah! - Run!

- I'd love to stay and watch you get eaten,

but I'm off to get rich. (Laughs)

- (Roars) - Aaaaaah!

- (Chomps) - Aah! I'm okay?

- Ugh! Yes. This game rots.

- Is that... Cody?

Harold: Yes! And he's wearing the crown!

- But if that's me, than who am I?

- It's just a statue, Cody.

But we need that crown, and since no one's guarding it...

- Lightning, no!

(Energy hums, alarm blares)

- Aaaaah! (Hard thud)

- Whoa! (Monster growls)

- Aaaah! - That was close!

But it looks like you got away clean.

- Yeah, unless you check my pants.

Hey, he's gone.

Crown time! - Noooo!

- Aaah! Oh! (Hard thuds) (Monster growls)

- Why would you do-- - Coast is clear!

Here I go! - What is wrong with you?!

- Whoa! Aaah!

It's like he appears whenever someone enters the square.

- Yes! That's what he does!

- Well, then, guess you can thank Lightning

for figuring that out. - Way to go, Lightning!

- Harold, you're a wizard!

Use a spell to get rid of him.

- Yes! - Do it, Harold!

- There are no spells for a cyclops!

Check for yourself.

I can't believe I'm the only one who knows that!

- So what will work?

- (Gasps) Music!

Lightning, if you play a lullaby on your lute,

you can put the Cyclops to sleep!

- I don't know how to play a lute!

Who'd pay to hear this noise?! (Beautiful music plays)

Wow! I do know how to play a lute!

- Of course, you're a bard!

(Whirring) - Whoa!

- (Monster roaring) - Ah!

- Sing him a lullaby!

- I don't know any lullabies!

- I love to sing!

♪ I'm singing you a lullaby ♪

♪ So please close your giant eye ♪

♪ Please don't club us and make a mess ♪

♪ your breath smells like human flesh ♪

(Sleepy groan)

♪ All we want is the crown ♪

♪ so please fall face-first to ♪

(Yawns) ♪ The ground ♪

- (Snoring)

- Sweet dreams, my new friend.

(Fanfare plays)

- Nice! We should head to the castle.

- Yes! Throne, here I come!

Want me to carry the crown for you?

- Thanks, Leshawna, but my doctor says

I need to exercise my neck muscles.

She said it's like a bendy straw wrapped in skin.

- There's the throne.

I got you here, just like I said I would!

(Energy hums)

- Hark! Anyone who seeks the throne

must defeat me!

- Challenge accepted! Unhhh!

(Whooshes, clangs)

Challenge rescinded!

- Give me that crown! Kids: Aaaaah!

- I might have a spell to get rid of him!

He wants the crown. You guys play keep away!

- Oh, good, here's your spell book!

(Knight's footsteps thud)

- Ooh! A whole chapter on knight sweats.

- Pass it here, Cody!

(Stopping screech)

- Cody. Catch!

(Whooshes)

- Consolian Knight that we flee,

heed my words, and obey me.

Abra... (Pages rustle)

Oh no! The next page is missing!

- Leshawna, take it!

- Yes! The inheritance is mine!

Sorry I ripped so many pages out of your spell book, Harold.

Byeeee!

- Aaaaaaaah!

Aaaaah! - Oof!

(Fighting grunts) - Huzzah!

- I hope this doesn't hurt. Harold: It's going to.

Harold and Leshawna: Aaaah! - We got the crown.

Now we just need to get past that guy.

- I promised myself I'd get you that inheritance.

Let me distract him. You get to the throne!

- No. I'd never have made it this far without you.

You take the crown, and get to the throne.

I'll stall him. - Cody! No.

You'll never survive. - Go!

- Aaaaah!

(Fire roars)

- Cody, you were going to sacrifice yourself

for your friend.

This makes you worthy of the win!

Congratulations.

(Fanfare plays)

- Yaaaaa...

aaaaaay! - Welcome back.

You won the quest, so the fortune is yours.

Congrats, kid. - Mission accomplished!

- Wait, friendship triumphed?

This ending feels off for me.

- She's not wrong.

- Yeah, that's not really how things work around here.

- Well, I don't know what to tell ya.

This is it. Gwen: (Ding) Finally.

Download complete.

(Energy hums) - Huzzah!

- Oh boy. (All screaming)

- Yeah. Much better.

(All screaming) ♪ Ta ta ta ♪

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