03x18 - A Tall Tale

[bunniefuu]

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- Wow! That's a serious growth spurt, Noah!

It'll be nice havin' another tall guy around here.

My man.

- Can you believe it, dude?

You're a giant now,

which means we're gonna have the best year ever!

(Effort grunt) Enh! I can't... quite...

- There ya go, buddy! - Mmmm.

(Ball thumps)

(Wimpy enh) - Alley oop!

(Stomping, roaring)

- NOW, NOAH!

(Falling roar)

- Yeah! WOOOOO!

We're number one!

We're number one!

- We sure are, buddy!

- Whatcha cheering about?

Did you find a box of bald kittens?

- No. I'm cheering about Noah.

Having a tall best friend is gonna be amazing!

- Oh no, it won't!

Oooh right. You guys can't read minds like I can.

Look. You two are totally different species now.

Noah's tall, so he'll get treated like a king.

And you're short,

so you'll get treated like a dog fart.

I give your friendship another week. Tops.

(Humming)

- Noah!? That's not true, is it?

- Of course not. Nothing's gonna change us being BFFs.

Trust me.

- Okay, how about +? - Ooh-ooh-ooh!

I know! Two plus two is four!

- Noah? That track for you, big guy?

- Meh. From up here, I'd say five?

- Nice. Who cares what these dumb flashcards say.

Five it is!

Hey kids! I got a rollercoaster

installed in the yard! Come on!

- (Cheering)

- Hold up! Oh darn!

Looks like everyone but Noah is too short!

You ready to ride, dude?

- Sorry buddy; it's a rollercoaster.

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(Screaming, laughing)

(Screaming, laughing)

(Cheering) WOO!

- (Sad sigh)

- It's not as fun as it looks.

- Go again? - OH, YEAH!!!

(Cheering) Yeah! Woooo!

- Probably less than a week.

- (Whimpers)

- Okay kids!

Today's super fun snack is... ants on a log!

- Gahh!

- I was out of celery, nut butter, and raisins.

Don't worry, buddy. I ordered a pizza for us tall guys.

- (Whimpers)

- Oh, uh, cool.

But hey, maybe Owen could join us?

Y'know, I think he's been getting taller too?

- Buddy, c'mon, Owen's still a little kid.

Pizza at snack would probably just give him a tummy ache.

Here, go pick it up, wouldya?

- I get to drive your car?

WOW! OKAY!

- (Whimpers, sniffles)

Oh Beary, I know Noah said things wouldn't change,

but it's sure starting to feel like...

Izzy was right!

- Darn tootin', short stack!

Izzy spits nuthin' but hard truths!

(Car crashes)

- NOAHHHH!!!

THAT WAS EPIC!

Usually there'd be consequences,

but since it's you...

C'mon. Let's go eat popcorn and watch Kung Fu movies!

- Yeahhhh!

- Okay, that's it.

I need to get taller right now!

- Yeah... way less than a week.

- I wish I was tall.

(Gasps) I need to go see... the genie.

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- Hi. I saw you here last summer,

but I didn't have anything to wish for.

Now I do.

Please, please let me be tall.

(Coin clinks, lever cranks)

- The Great Dollltarrr

grants you one wissshhh...

(Zapping, voice becomes distorted)

- Argh, you rotten genie!

(Hard kick, landing thud)

(Pants) OOF!

Huh?

(Gasp) A bottle of growth serum?!

Aw, darn, I spent my last quarter on that genie.

(Groans)

URGH. Arms not... long enough.

I gotta try something else. I know!

(Laughs) YES!

(Claw snaps) Huh?

- U'm gonna winda head! - What! No!

I'm not a prize! Eeeee! Ah!

- GIMMEEE DA HEAAAD!

- I'M NOT A PRIIIIIIIIIZE!

Oven: Hey, guys.

Notice anything different?

- Whoa! Yowza! - Oh my! (Gags, vomits)

- Ohhhhhhh nooooo.

Owen! What did you do?

- Isn't it obvious?

I got tall! Like you!

Now we can be BFFs again!

- We were always gonna be BFFs!

- But Izzy said I was a dog fart.

- Said it, meant it, don't regret it.

- Not to mention all the love and respect you get

for being tall.

(Bridgette crying) - It's not right.

- Make it stop! Make it stop! GAH!

- Uhhhhh, great!

So let's go have some tall buddy guy fun! C'mon!

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- Alley-OOF!

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(Screaming, laughing)

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- (Spits) - (Gags)

Chef: Ugh, what a mess.

I'm surprised everyone is having this

kind of reaction to Owen.

I always thought big necks were sorta cool.

- Yeah. Not so much.

Man: (Clears throat)

- Oh. Can I help you with something?

- Mmyesssss. Horatio Zewman Esquire,

the world's foremost authority on Memandertall,

the missing link between giraffe and man.

And I've recently heard reports of a number

of Memandertall sightings right here at your school!

- Psst, Chef! I think he means Owen!

I don't trust this guy.

- Aaaand what do you intend to do with Owen--

I mean, "the giraffe boy",

if we actually have one?

- I'll put him on display in my Zoo of Oddities, of course!

- I dunno, Owen might actually enjoy living in a zoo.

Horatio: Where I'd feed him only the finest Acacia leaves,

fruits and nuts.

- Owen would hate eating salad!

- Well, I'm afraid we have no idea

which stocky blonde Owen you're even talking about.

- (Laughing)

- Maybe this enormous cheque will change your mind!

- WOW, that's a lot of zeroes.

Noah: Chefff...

- Ugh... not interested.

- Well, if you won't sell the Memandertall,

I'll be on my way,

and certainly not scheming how to snatch the creature

while no one is looking. (Evil laugh)

- Well! You heard him, tallmigo,

nothing to worry about. (Humming)

- Owen, find your best hiding spot

in case Zewman comeback. - On it!

(Pants)

- Okay, I cannot be the only one

that wants to stop some creep

from putting Owen in a Zoo?!

All: Welllll...

- Noah! Relax!

You've got another big necked BFF

right here remember?

- Look, Chef. I don't wanna hurt your feelings,

but we are not BFFs.

Rollercoasters and driving cars through walls is fun?

But Owen, he'll always be my best friend.

- But! But!

(Bawling)

(Plays a sad tune)

- Never took a single lesson!

- Whadda ya say, guys?

Think of all the times Owen risked it all for us!

Like when he defeated those evil snowmen?

(Splat)

(Engines whoosh) (Farts)

Or got rid of aliens who were trying to destroy the planet?

Or when he saved the world from pudding!

(Landing thud)

- That was a lot of pudding.

- Those aliens were mean.

- I don't remember any of that.

- So you'll help me save him? - How?

Zewman will never give up.

Owen's too rare and special.

- Yeah, but what if he wasn't?

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Okay, I know this is a long sh*t,

but it's our only hope.

- I wus borned for dis job!

- (Screams)

(Leaves rustle)

(Farts, Owen giggles)

- AH HAAAAA! I've got you now!

(Rope whooshes) - (Panicked gasps)

Dead end! AHH!

- Yes!

The only Memandertall in the entire world

and you're all mine!

All: Ah-hem. - Huh? What?

But! How? - Gee, sorry, mister,

but it looks like Owen's not quite as rare and special

as you thought he was.

- Yeah. What're you gonna do?

Stick us all in your weird animal-jail?

All: (Laughing)

(Door rumbles shut)

- Great plan, Noah.

- Nice doing business with you.

- That is a lot of zeroes.

- Well, I guess we live in a zoo now.

- Could be worse.

At least I'm with my best friend.

Horatio: Alright, lovelies, feeding time!

All the salad you can eat!

- WHAT?! NOOOO!

Let me outta here! Please! Hellllllllp!

♪ Ta ta ta ♪

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