03x36 - Cactus Makes Perfect

[bunniefuu]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

- Oink-oink. I'm a pony.

- Yeah. This is not working;

I think we should play with other people.

- Beth, you forgot your chicken!

- Hey Cody, my best BFF forever friend,

check this out!

- Whoa, what is that?

- It's called a "news paper".

It's what old folks read before the internet was discovered.

The best part is...

the Horoscopes page.

- What's a Horoscope?

- It's the news, but from the future.

Stuff that's GOING to happen to YOU

based on the day you were born.

- Um, Horoscopes aren't real.

- I dunno. Let's read mine.

(reads) You will read your horoscope today.

- WHOA! How did they know?!

Read mine! Read mine! Read mine!

- Cody, they're fake. - Shhh.

My best BFF Cody wants to hear his horoscope.

- Yeah! - Here we go.

(reads) You will find a new BF...F...

- Oh. Wow.

I'm actually gonna butt out of this one.

- I don't understand, Lightning,

you're my BFF.

Can horoscopes be wrong?

- Nope. Horoscopes don't lie.

But maybe your new BFF will be my BFF too.

And then we'll all be BFFs! Together.

- Yes! We'll be the FFs!

Wow. I never thought I'd have TWO friends!

Let's go find 'em! Yeah!!

- WOOHOO!

- That best BFF has gotta be around here somewhere...

Cody?

- AWWW! Lightning, look!

He wants to be my new best friend!

(Barking, snarling)

- Wanna hug?

- No Cody! Stop hugging!

Cody: (Yelps, shrieks)

(Deep inhale, exhale) - Fresh air...

Everyone loves parks.

I'm sure we're gonna find this BFF here.

Cody: BFF forever friend...

(Barking, snarling) Bring it in, big guy.

- Cody!

Cody: Eee! Ooo. That's gonna leave a mark!

- Well, who knows, maybe we'll find our BFF in this hospital.

- We're also a veterinary clinic.

- OW! Ohhh! Ouchie! Eee! Ooo! Ow!

- Shouldn't you be stopping this?

- Yeah, but I need the work.

Cody: Ow! Eee! Eee! Ooo!

I'll never find my new BFF.

- I can't believe the horoscope was wrong.

But hey, you still have me. - Yeah!

(Glass shatters, bike bell rings)

- Kids! Sorry I was gone two weeks.

Did you manage okay without me?

- You were gone?

(Murmurs for help, whip cracks) - Don't worry, Chef, I'm fine.

- (Panicked murmurs for help)

- You weren't around to stop me from picking my nose

and look what happened! LOOK! (Crying)

- I swallowed a x!

- Glad to hear you're all fine.

- Um, where were you, anyway?

- My car broke down in the desert.

But I met some nice people having a big desert party.

It was sick!

- Hey Chef, what's this on your bike?

- Huh. Oh yeah.

Uh, this cactus was hitchhiking in the desert

so I gave it a lift.

♪♪♪

- Buh-buh-BFF forever friend?

- Oh. You... want this, Cody?

- C-C-CODY DOES!

- Now I gotta sleep for a few days. I'll be in my office.

- Cactus! How about a new best friend hug?

- No-no-no-no-no!

(Cactus pierces) - OUCHIE!

Oooh, that's a good name for you.

I'll call you Ouchie.

Let's go play!

- Do you mean all three of us or--

- It's just you and me now, Ouchie!

- Now you're sad. And who's fault is that?

That's right, YOURS!

You and your silly horoscope nonsense.

- I don't think horoscopes are nonsense.

- Well, I don't trust the opinion of someone

who's about to poop a picnic table.

And YOU just lost your BFF to a CACTUS.

- We'll see about that...

Hey Cody, wanna hang out?

Cody: Not right now.

I'm playing Patty Cake with Ouchie.

Patty-OW, patty-OW,

baker's OW, bake OW,

an OW, as OW!

OW! OWWWW!

No, I don't have any foursies.

Go frog. - Here Cody, catch!

- All yours, Ouchie!

(Ball bounces, then hisses)

- Yay! I think that means we win!

Chest bump!

(Cactus pierces) Yaaaaay! AAAAAAAAHHHH!

(Slurping)

Owww!

- I don't like Ouchie. But if I'm being honest,

I don't know if it's cause Ouchie's bad for Cody,

or cause I'm jealous.

(Muffled pained groan)

- It can be two things.

- There you go, Cody.

I should probably ask how you got hurt.

- Well-- - But I'm pretty tired.

So have a juice box and walk it off.

- Mmm. Purple's my favourite flavour!

(Straw sucks) - Hey, Cody, can we talk?

- Okay! But make it quick, I have a play date with Ouchie.

- That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Do you think Ouchie's good for you?

I mean, you look like a mummy!

(Slurps, juice splashes)

- Whoa.

- Aww, I'm peeing all wrong again.

- Are you still getting b*at out by that cactus?

- Courtney! Don't rub it in.

- Rub it in? I was honestly asking.

- You can be really mean.

- It's clear Cody has fallen in with the wrong crowd.

- It's a cactus.

- We have to help Lightning get Cody back.

- From a cactus.

- And not just rub it in like some people.

- Named Courtney.

- We are talking... about a cactus.

- But this bad BFF thing can't go on forever. Right?

- Um, yes.

The nd F in BFF

means forever.

Did you really not know that?

- For your FYI, I didn't.

- What can we do to help?

- I bet if we get Ouchie away from Cody,

even for just a few minutes, he'll forget all about him.

- Yep. - That checks out.

- So who can we get to cactus-nap Ouchie?

- Uh, let me check my pranking schedule.

I was gonna mess with Cody's cactus,

but not until Thursday.

Today I was gonna prank Chef in his sleep

then do something to Harold.

- (Sighs) Fine,

I'll help clear Duncan's schedule. Gah!

(Wedgie pained grunts)

(Snap)

- Okay then, there's now an opening.

I'll grab the cactus at nap time.

(Snoring)

- Here he comes.

♪♪♪

- Owowow...

All: (Gasp)

- Cody's gonna wake up if he can't find Ouchie.

- Relax, I got this.

- (Snapping, bite)

All: NO!

- OOO!

(Porcupine chatters) All: NO!

(Snarling)

All: DUNCAN! - FINE!

- I hate being micromanaged.

- Everything is gonna be just fine from now on.

- Ouchie? Where are you?

(Paper plane flaps)

Oh, he left a letter.

(reads) I'm a cactus, you're a Cody,

this BFF friendship will never work.

(Bawling)

- That can't be good.

- Sadness is natural after a breakup.

But he'll be fine any second now.

Any second now.

(Cody continues bawling)

(Landing splash)

- I can fix that hole!

(Cat hairball)

(SLUUUURP)

(Barking, snarling)

(Wood chipper whirs) - CODY!

Okay, this is getting out of hand!

- Is it just me or was Cody safer with the cactus?

- It's like the old saying goes.

Better the cactus you know

than the wood chipper you also know.

- That... is not a saying. - Well I just said it, soooo...

(Cody groans)

- Cody, I never should have gotten between you and Ouchie.

- You made Ouchie go away?

Did Ouchie even write that letter?! Or was it you?

- It was me.

I'm sorry. I was jelly of your friendship.

So jelly there was no room for peanut butter.

But you can have Ouchie back now. Duncan...

Cody needs Ouchie back. Where's he at?

(Boom, Harold screams) - Ahhh!

- I buried him in the desert.

All: (Horrified gasps) - Wha-- NO.

I mean I planted him.

You know... like a cactus.

- Ouchie, it's you! - Cody.

Ouchie is that one.

- Ouchie, it's you!

I'll never let Lightning get between us ever again!

(Cactus pierces) AAAAAAHHH...

I missed you so much!

- O-kay, I just can't anymore.

Cody, you and Lightning were BFFs.

And he's a real person!

So why are you picking a cactus?

- Because the horoscope said so.

(Dog snarling)

- Ouchie, save me!

- No! I'm gonna save you!

Because that's what BFF friends do!

(Growling)

- On second thought, that's a lot of teeth.

(Cactus pierces) (YELPING!)

- I can't believe it. Ouchie... you saved us.

Does this mean you and I are friends too?

- It sure does!

- This is bonkers! The cactus didn't do anything!

And it isn't anyone's friend!

- You're just jealous cause you'll never know

what it's like to be friends with a cactus!

- Sure. Let's pretend that's the problem here.

I give up.

And hey, if you love your cactus so much,

why don't you marry it?!

- If anyone feels this union should not take place,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

- Just do it already!

- Cody, you may kiss the cactus.

(Cactus pierces) - OWWWWWWW!

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪