03x39 - Van Hogling

[bunniefuu]

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♪ La la la ♪ (Spray spritzes)

♪ La la la ♪ (Cock-a-doodle-doo)

♪ La la la la ♪ - (Owen snoring)

- Why do we have to go on a dumb field trip at : A.M.?

(Effort grunts)

- Because that's when farmers get up!

And wasn't it nice of Sugar's family

to invite us to their farm for a field trip?

- But we don't wanna go to a farm!

- Yeah, we're city kids, Chef!

The only call of nature I answer

is the one with my pants around my ankles

and a mad dash to the toilet.

- Well, that's your problem, Beth!

- Ahh! - It should be 'mad dash'

then pants around your ankles.

- Meh, maybe I'll try that

when you're not around to clean up after me.

- Ooo-eee!

I can't wait to show y'all how Bologna gets made!

All: (Groan)

- Don't you make me shovel you onto that bus!

- Can't we just go back to sleep?

- Have it your way!

All: Ow! Eee! Hey! Sugar: (Effort grunts)

(Snoring)

♪ Old MacDonald had a farm! ♪

♪ E-I-E-IO! ♪

♪ And on that farm he had some pigs ♪

- E-I-E-I-NO!

WRONG! Farming ain't nothin' like that.

It's hard work!

And it stinks real good.

- Is she gonna be like this all day?

- Yeah, I hate stuff that stinks!

- And hard work is not my thing.

Check out my birthmark, even its lazy.

(Snores)

- You should really see a doctor.

- My family has been farmin' Balogna

since my Great Great Grandpappy invented the recipe!

(Machine whirs) All: (Squeamish sounds)

- Ew! (Dolphin cries)

(expl*si*n) (Elephant trumpets)

- I do not wanna know what's going on in there!

- Well, I can't wait to see it!

- Where'd you get them clothes?

- I found 'em!

- Mmm'kay.

Now let's go see meat get sh*t into a tube!

(Vomit sounds)

- Now, who wants to try a bite while it's still warm?

Owen? - (Vomit sounds)

- Never thought I'd say this, Chef,

but can we please go back to school?

- Nuh uh. This is Sugar's field trip.

She's in charge today.

- Mm-hmm! Y'all are on my turf and I'm callin' the sh*ts.

Now let's go a farm chorin'!

Good girl, Steaky.

Now, to milk a cow

ya gotta squeeze 'em just right,

or the cow'll get upset.

(Milk squirting)

Ya'll wanna try?

All: (Laughing) - Ah...

little to your right.

(Gurgling sounds)

- (Giggles) I made a unicow!

- Fly, unicow!

(Snoring)

- Bet I can make this cow moo

by pulling its tail!

(Pained moo)

- Whoa! (Landing thud)

(Pained groan) Worth it...

(Angry growl)

Now the bestest eggs come from the calmest chickens.

And if you're too loud the chickens get scared

and destroy their own eggs.

So I sing to 'em, ain't that right?

♪ My country fried ♪

♪ Little friend ♪

(Plop)

- So chickens like music?

- Uh-huh. They sure do.

- KICK IT!!!

(Heavy metal guitar riff, drumming, screaming)

(Flames roar) Chickens: BAWWWWWK!

BOKEDY BOK BOK BAWWWWWK! - Calm down, chickens.

Calm down. (Eggs splat) Ahhhhhh!

STOP THE MUSIIIIC!

It's a good thing my face skin is unnaturally thick,

ya'll better get this next chore right!

Here's how you make a hay bale.

Put hay in the top of this baler machine,

press these buttons and walla, it makes hay bales.

(Grinds)

(Ding)

Anyone wanna try?

- Oh me! Me! Me! Me!

I'm ready to step up my farming game, Sugar!

This is gonna be so much fun! Kids: Whoa!

Kids: Eugh.

- Um, Chef? I think you accidentally--

- Beep bop bop boop!

- Slow down, you're goin' way too fast!

(Machine grinds)

(sh**t out bales)

- Look what you did!

- Woo hoo! Do it again!

(Farts) - Owen!

- I'm so sorry! It's comin' for you!

Hot air rises!

- (Angry growl)

Ya'll listen up now.

This rule's as serious as sunburn

on a hairless cat.

After ya feed the pigs you gotta close the gate.

"Pigs outside a pen on a full moon,

will surely bring a farm much doom."

- WOOHOO! Ride 'em horse pig!

(SPLAT!)

All: (Laughing)

- That's IT!

I'm done tryin' to teach ya'll how to farm!

Sugar OUT!

(Food thuds, pigs grunt)

- Well, we fed the pigs. Now what?

- Let's go be hay bales, again. That was fun!

- Okay! Wait, the gate!

Duncan, don't forget to close the gate.

- Yeah yeah...

Leshawna! Chef wants you to close the gate.

- Owen! Be sure to close the gate.

- Izzy, you gotta close the gate.

- No problemo! Hey, Unicow, close the gate, okay? Thanks!

- MOO.

(All chanting) Hay bales! Hay bales!

Hay bales! Hay bales!

- Ugh. Look at them ding-dongs.

Hey Sugar, wasn't there supposed to be dinner

on this field trip? - Nuh-uh.

Only farmhands get fed.

And ya'll are a bunch'a rule breakers!

(Door slams)

(Sinister music)

- AHHHHHH-OINNNNNNNK!

- What's that sound?

(Pitter patter)

- Did you see that?!

- Let's, uh, head back to the bus.

- AHHHHHH-OINNNNNNNK!

- Hurry up!

- Where'd the bus go?

- I left the keys in my teacher pants, but-oh no!

The scarecrow has my pants!

♪♪♪

- What do we do now?

Werehog: AHHHHHH-OINNNNNNNK!

- What is that noise!

(High-pitched) I'm not scared my voice just sounds this way

sometimes for no reason!

- It's a full moon!

Didn't Sugar say something about pigs

and full moons and doom?

- (Gasps) Did you close the gate?!

- Leshawna? - Owen? - Izzy?

- Relax! I told Unicow to close it.

(Farts)

(Gate creaks)

(All gaps) (Werehog grunts)

All: SUUUUGAAARRRR!!!

(Knocking) - Sugar! Open up!

It's us! - Oh hey Sugar.

So what happens if, hypothermically,

we forgot to close the pig gate on a full moon?

- Well, any potato brain knows that would unleash

a heard of ravenous Werehogs onto the farm!

All: WHAT?!

- How do we make it stop?!

- Oh so now you wanna learn about farmin'?!

You're on your own. (Door slams)

Werehog: AHHHHHH-OINNNNNNNK!

- We better hide, kids! Come on!

(Bunch of confusing sounds) (Panicked screaming)

- Man, Bologna is gross! (Gags and vomits)

Quick! Let's hide in here!

(Snorty breathing)

Duncan: Who's snorting?! Chef: SHHH!

You're gonna give us away.

Oh hey, the scarecrow had a match in his pocket...

that seems dangerous.

(Snorty breathing)

(Blows)

Werehog: AHHHHHH-OINNNNNNNK! All: (Panicked screaming)

- I thought the Bologna

would be the scariest part of the day,

but this is way worse!

- Wait! Where's Izzy? (Corn rustles)

- AHHHH-OOOOOO!!!

All: AAAAAAAH!!!

Chef: RUN!!! - AHHHH-OINNNNNK!

- (Panting)

- Lemme guess, the Werehogs are huntin' ya down

and Izzy's turned into a part kid, part Werehog?!

- You say that like it happens a lot.

- Is that your idea of groveling for my help!

'Cause if it is you're not doin' it right!

- Help us! - We're so sorry!

- Please! - We need you!

- Anything to add, Duncan?

- Yes. This field trip rots and you're a--

AHHHHH!

- We'll do everything you say this time, Sugar!

We promise! (Door slams)

- That's just great, now what are we gonna... OOF!

- It's time for a hog hunt!

To take down a Werehog,

you gotta fire an apple into their yappers

just before they bite'cha!

- Um, before they bite... who?

- Yeah, for a plan like that to work

we'd need some kind of bait.

- Here piggy piggy piggy...

Werehogs: (Roar)

♪♪♪

- How 'bout a side of apple sauce?!

(Phut! Phut!)

(Magical poof)

Beth: (Screaming)

Please! Not my bum! I need that for sitting!

- Hey! Looks like bacon's on the menu tonight!

- AHHHH-OINNNNNK!!!

(Phut)

(Magical poof)

- Ahhh! Duncan! Snap out of it!

It's me, Chef! Your favourite teacher!

- AHHHH-OINNNNNK!!!

Sugar: And that's the last one.

- Sugar! You did it! You saved us!

All: (Cheering)

(Pigs squealing)

- And that's how farmer's get food to your table

every day!

(Honking)

- (Gasp) The bus is back!

Hop in, kids!

Beth: I have a question about the scarecrow

in the driver's seat.

- Just get on the bus!

Well, that could've gone much worse.

I'm glad everyone is okay.

- Me too! - You can say that again!

- Uhhhhh...

♪ Ta ta! ♪

Chef: Hey, has anyone seen Cody?

♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪

Werehogs: AHHHHHH-OINNNNNNNK!

(Weakly) ♪ E, I, E, I Ohhhhh ♪

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