03x44 - Oozing Talent

[bunniefuu]

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(Shovel rasps)

(Thuds)

(Door bangs, carpet rolls) - Vroom! Huh? Oof!

Help! Help!

(Camera clicks)

- What's going on with Sugar?

(Camera clicks)

- Ugh! Dumb carpet lump!

Messing up my- ugh-- big entrance!

Harold: Oh! Ah! Ah! Oh!

(Bones cr*ck) - There!

- What do you think you're doing?

- Why thank you so much for asking, Gwen!

I'm super excited to be here!

And it's just wonderful to see

so many fans have turned out.

- (Slurping) - Ugh!

I can already tell I'm gonna hate this episode.

- Sugar, am I a cuckoo cocoa-bonk

or are you more famous than usual today?

- Oh poop, I was hopin' you all wouldn't notice.

But, yes, over the weekend,

I starred in a TV commercial.

No big deal!

I'm sure you guys did stuff, too.

- Heck, yeah! I picked up a dead worm with a stick!

- Ew! - Nice!

- Then what happened? - Grrrr!

- I put it in my mom's purse.

Then at the grocery store, when she reached for her--

aaah! - Did I not make myself clear?!

I'm gonna be on TV!

Worship me!

- But Sugar, I thought you said it was no big deal.

- I lied! It's the hugest deal ever!

- I love commercials.

That's how I found my favourite new ice cream flavour,

Uncooked Pork Swirl!

- Can you show us your commercial?

- (Sighs) It's in post-production.

That's industry speak for not ready yet.

But I can sign autographs!

There! Don't wash that off,

and you might actually be worth something some day.

- Why would I wash my face? (Laughs)

Ah, you're funny.

- Good, don't, 'cause I'm gonna be famous!

I can see it now...

first, this commercial goes national,

and makes me a star.

Then I pack up all my clothes,

and take a long journey to Hollywood.

Land a role on a TV series as the beautiful neighbour,

win a wagon full of awards,

(Cameras click)

Release a country ♪ Album! ♪

Take on a social cause I don't actually care about.

(Cameras click)

Then sell out, and do a superhero movie.

- (Roars)

(Whimpers)

And hire all you guys to be servants in my mansion.

Boom!

♪ I'm gonna be famous! ♪

Chef: Okay, guys,

can we all gather in the art area, please?

Guys? Come on, now. Kids? Hello?

- Get your butts over to the art zone now,

so I can brighten your pointless lives!

Without further ado...

Ta-dah! That there's the paycheque from the company

that hired me to be the face of their brand.

- You're not gonna cash the cheque?

- Well, I don't need it, I'll be famous soon.

I am money.

Now Chef can show future classes this display

as proof that not everyone who went here

was a complete fail.

- Aw, isn't that nice of Sugar?

She didn't even point at Cody when she said that!

- Hmm, something about this company's name

sounds familiar... "SquirsheyHertz Incorporated."

- Wait! Don't they make that soda that stops

expl*sive diarrhea?

- The soda that what?

- Sugar's the new face of Diarrhea?

(All laugh)

- But-but it didn't seem like a diarrhea commercial!

Man: Action! - Uh-oh, Trotsie,

(Stomach gurgles) Storm's a brewin'!

Back to the ranch, quick!

(Whinnies, hooves thud)

- Oh no! Now I see it!

I gotta get them to take me out of that commercial

before it's too late! (All laugh)

Man: I'm sorry, Sugar.

I can't take you out of the commercial.

You're the best spokesperson we've ever had!

- Yes, yes yes, I'm very talented, but please!

- Talented and relatable!

Ah, you see, everyone gets diarrhea.

It's a fact of life.

But you, ho-ho!

You look like someone who has diarrhea right now!

- Uh...

- Look, I'm sorry, Sugar, but you're simply irreplaceable.

- But--

- Soon you'll be the most famous little girl

in the whole country!

- For having diarrhea!

- Yes, and then not having diarrhea.

- How'd it go?

Did they agree to cut you out of the commercial?

- (Sighs) No!

Mr. SquirsheyHertz said my acting was too good.

Curse my irrepressible talent!

- Ugh! - (Sobs)

This is horrible.

(Wails, sobs)

- Huddle it up, guys!

- Wow, either Sugar's really torn up about this,

or her acting is great.

- I think those tears are real.

- Can we try to help her?

- Sugar, we were just talking, and...

- Yes?

- despite this being literally the funniest thing ever...

- Yes?!

- (Sighs) we're gonna help you out.

- (Gasps) Thank you! You guys are the best!

So what's the plan?

- Well, if you don't want to be recognized as the girl

with the poops, maybe you could live the rest of your life

in a Bigfoot disguise. - Actually, that could work.

I mean, if anyone can pull off that kind of acting, it's me.

(Roars)

- There it is!

- Aaaah!

- Unfortunately, some disguises

cause more problems than they solve.

- Okay, who's got another idea?

- What if we gave everyone diarrhea,

so you don't feel singled out?

Circus Burgers here, get your yummy Circus Burgers!

Harold: You'd end up in food jail.

- And?

- Hey, what if we make having diarrhea cool?

(Toilet flushes)

(Stomach gurgles)

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Harold: These are all terrible ideas!

Oh! The only way to really help Sugar

is to storm the TV station to stop them from airing

her commercial during tonight's big game!

- You guys would do that for me?

- I'm in! - Sure!

- Hah! As if I'd miss out on a Class C Felony.

- I'm in, too! I've just gotta hit the bathroom first.

- Sorry, Cody, no time.

- Okey-dokey! I'll hold it.

Harold: So as you see from the blueprint,

Beth, you're in charge of comms.

- -, Rubber Duckie!

- Duncan, we'll need distraction fireworks

here, here and here. - Done.

- Then, while Cody wrestles the Control Room crew

into submission--

- My mom watches "Young and the Wrestling" every day!

- I'll hack the mainframe

so Sugar can grab the tape of her commercial,

and we're out.

- Great plan, Harold! - Thanks.

MacArthur: What about the security guards?

- They're usually way too out of shape

to do anything-- (Gasps)

- You kids probably should've figured out

a better place to go over the plan

for your little heist, huh? - Ruuuuun!

- No! Don't go down that hallway!

Ohhh! This all-donut-diet was a mistake.

(Chomps) Hold up, kids.

Epic chase comin' up.

(Video game beeps and pings)

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Singer: ♪ For... ♪

♪ thee! ♪

- Oh no!

All: (Panting) - We gotta hurry,

the big game is about to start!

Cody, get in there and wrestle that guy

into submission! - Sure thing, Sugar.

I just gotta make a quick pit stop.

That ice cream really didn't hit right.

- Quit fooling around, Cody! This is important!

(Stomach rumbles) - Oh, right. Ooh!

I'm on it. Ohh!

Uh, hey, man.

Be cool, okay?

I'm just here to...

poop!

- Aaah! (Door slams)

- Well that was easy. (Thud)

(Kids scream) - Ooh, boy! That didn't help.

- Okay, come on out of there, kids.

You had your fun,

but the big game is our most important

night of the year!

- We know, and unless Mr. SquirsheyHertz agrees

to take me outta his big halftime commercial,

We're cutting the feed.

(All gasp)

- Um, Sugar, cutting the game would be like,

a really big deal.

Yeah! And so is diarrhea, Harold!

- (Groans) Yup.

Very true. (Stomach gurgles) Ohhh!

- Okay, okay! I'll contact Mr. SquirsheyHertz.

(Helicopter whirs)

- Ugh. Where is he?! It's nearly halftime, and--

- Sugar! - Aaaah!

- Ohh, this is gonna be ugly.

(Stomach rumbles) - What's this all about?

- Now, agree to take me out of your commercial

or we're pulling the plug on your big game!

- But Sugar--

- Mister, we get that you wanna sell your weird new soda,

but isn't it unfair to make Sugar "diarrhea famous"

if she doesn't wanna be?

- Yeah! It's not Sugar's fault that she looks like

she's always gotta poop!

- And sure, she might be a mean, bragging, loudmouth

diva-saurus, but she's our mean,

bragging, loudmouth diva saurus.

Harold and Beth: Yeah!

- Aw! You guys!

- This friendship, it's so beautiful,

you got old SquirsheyHertz all choked up over here.

But there's just no way you know, I could find

a replacement as natural as Sugar.

I mean, she just oozes panic.

- (Stomach gurgles loudly)

- It's the weak, trembling knees!

The pale, clammy face!

- (Stomach gurgles)

- She's a one in a million.

- I can't take it anymore!

I gotta go potty right now!

(Crashes)

- Sugar, you're fired. I need a camera and lights!

And somebody put that boy on a horse!

(Brakes screech) (Paper rustles)

Gwen: Weird how Cody took your spot in that commercial

and nothing bad happened to him, huh?

- Cody is a talentless, wannabe hack!

- Aw, don't be such a party...

pooper.

- (Muffled screams)

(Long shrill scream)

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