03x50 - A Bridgette Too Far

[bunniefuu]

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Chef: It's okay, kids.

Shout 'em out!

- Oh oh! I think Cave Boy was the best.

- Whaaat? The time everyone thought I was a biter

was WAY funnier! Owen: (Stifling laugh)

Or, what about when that squirrel

ate my fudgy lumps! (Laughs)

- That's from Season One, Owen.

We're talking Season Three.

- We've been here for three seasons already?

How OLD are we?!

- Shouldn't we be taller?

- Is that why I have this mustache?

(Blows air horn) Ahh!

- C'mon, guys, focus!

We gotta pick an episode to submit

for the Crazy School Adventure Awards to-day!

- I'm not sure why this is even up for discussion.

My Taffy Math contest story was clearly the best.

- Possibly though episode B

had much bigger stakes.

I mean I almost started an intergalactic w*r in that one.

- Intergalactic w*r?

Taffy contest?

I don't remember any of these.

Or the last story I was in!

- Wait, did you star in any of the episodes this season?

- No. (Sighs)

Oh well, I'm sure the Producers know what they're doing.

They work very hard.

- Oooh. There's an online sale at Vouey Luttin.

Add to CART!

- It's not like I rely on starring in episodes

for my sense of self worth.

I mean... have you seen my hair?

- (Gasp) Oh, what about the episode

with the Fire-Pants guy?!

- Or when I turned into a giraffe!

- Or when Chef locked himself into the school

for the weekend and went banana brains? (Laughs)

(Doorbell rings)

- Ugh. Who could that be?

Hey, uh since you're not contributing at all,

go answer the door, Barbra.

- It's Bridgette.

- Mmmm... is it?

- Hi sorry, but we're actually in the middle of--

(Shocked gasp!)

Guys! Guys! I think a ME episode is starting right now!

- Really?! What's it about?

Well, the person at the door looks exactly like me!

So... maybe it's a clone that spawned from an alien pod

and wants to take over my life!

Or she's a post-apocalyptic Bridgette

that I have to battle in the Bridgette Dome!

Or what if it's my long lost twin

who's a kajillionaire

and she's gonna take me to her mansion

to live happily ever-- - WRONNNNNG!

It was a mirror! Bet you feel pretty silly now! Hahaha!

- My twin was just my reflection?

- Yep. Can't win an award with a story

about a kid and a mirror! Hahaha!

- (Whispers) Who's the new kid?

- That's Bernice.

- Her name is Bridgette.

And she's not new. - Thank you, Owen.

- She's just not popular.

- Not popular.

Since when does that matter in children's television?

Hold on a second.

(Gasps)

GUYS! COME QUICK! MY EPISODE IS STARTING!

FOR REAL THIS TIME!

All: Whoaaaaaaaaaaa...

- Right? I think it's a Martian Egg!

- Wow, Bridgette. I gotta admit,

this sure looks like an episode. So...

maybe someone more experienced should take it from here?

- Good idea, Leshawna.

If it's a nice alien inside,

Izzy should probably take it.

If it's a mean alien,

maybe Duncan could take it.

- NO WAY! I found it!

This is my story.

(Pod bursts, splshes)

- Here it comes! - (Gasps)

- It's happening! - (Gasps)

- Hey class, I fell asleep in my new rejuvenation pod.

- Aww! It's just Chef.

Not a story. - Yep. Let's go play.

- Aww.

There's gotta be something in here to help start my story.

- I thought you didn't care about starring in an episode.

- I don't. Now quit standing around and help me look!

(Gasp) Look!

Some evil scientist must've shrunk our friends

for his creepy human-toy collection!

- Not sure why you'd be happy about that,

and NO, this is called 'merch'.

See? Here's one of me too.

- Awwww, guess this isn't a story either.

But at least I can see what I look like as a doll!

- (Winces) Yeahhh. Awkward.

It's just the "main" cast.

(High-pitched) - Mainnnnn caaasst?!

C'mon, story... come onnnnn...

- Um, we're halfway done this episode.

Maybe someone else should-- - NO! WAIT!

I need more time.

- Okay, but if someone else starts a story

we'll have to let it happen.

(Metallic clunk) - (Gasp) Whoa!

We've never done a Genie episode!

- AWESOME! Izzy!

You should wish for a million cookies!

- SHH-SHH-SHH-SHH! Here he comes!

- The Great KOSTU will grant you three wi-aahhhh...

(Dustbuster whirs)

- NOOO! - WHY?!

- STOP! - HEY!

- No!

THIS IS GONNA BE MY STORY!

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!

- Aw, come on, Bridgette.

It's not our fault if we make better muses for the writers.

I mean, cut 'em some slack;

they're barely employable as it is--whoa!

- We're free! We're free!

You've freed the mole people from our underground prison,

which makes YOU our new Ki--

(PANG)-OWWW! - OH, NO YOU DON'T!

- Hey! I was gonna be a Mole King!

- (GRRR, AHHH)

Not on my watch, bub.

All of you need to stop trying to steal my episode!

- I'm not stealing your episode,

I'm just eating chips and (crunch)

waiting for you to find a story idea that

(CLANK) Owwww!

- (Gasp) That's the Golden Chip!

Cody just won us all a tour

of Jimmy Jonka's magical chip factory!

♪ Come and see ♪

♪ And we'll eat ♪

♪ In a land of pure potato dehydration ♪

(Jet roars) - It's okay!

I'm just a potatooooo...

(Engine hums, eject button beeps)

This. Episode. IS. MIIINE!

IF ANYONE ELSE TRIES TO STEAL MY STORY,

I'M GONNA--

(Magical whoosh)

- I... am... Bethinator.

I have come from the future to prevent a w*r

with the machines.

I am here to take Duncan, Izzy,

Leshawna, Cody,

Beth, Owen,

Noah, Courtney,

Harold, Jude, Lightning,

Sugar, Gwen...

you know what? Everyone but Bridgette...

Come with me if you want to-- GAK!

- (Furious scream)

(Animal heaving)

Chef: Okay, kids! Recess is over!

Come on in so we can make our final decision

on what episode to submit!

All: (Cheer)

- Sorry, Bridgette.

- I promise we'll help figure out an episode

for you next season.

- (Disappointed sigh)

Okay, so everyone's in agreement?

We're gonna submit episode number --

- (Clears throat)

Everyone, I just wanted to say

that I'm coming to terms with my status as...

a background character.

- Awe, don't say that, Bahdango, you're--

- No no, it's all right. I know it's true.

I'll never be popular like Izzy or Owen...

or even Harold.

- "Even" Harold? - But it's okay.

With cameras following me around all day,

I remembered how hard it is to drive an episode.

And honestly, that's just not me.

(Stopwatch buzzes)

- Bridgette, it's been minutes!

THIS was your episode!

All: (Cheering)

(Party favour sounds)

- What?! Seriously?!

NO. STOP!

I don't want your pity story!

This is even worse than NOT getting an episode.

- But we just thought... - Save it, old man!

I've had enough!

I'm going to the network to pitch my own series!

I'll show you...

I'LL SHOW ALL OF YOU! HMPH! (Door slams)

- She doesn't stand a chance. - Nooope.

- Never gonna happen. - Not likely.

- Doubtful. Nuh uh, No chance.

♪♪♪

(Owl hoots)

Chef: Goooood morning, kids.

All: Good morning, Chef!

- I got a letter from The Network!

All: Ooooooooooh!

Probably an early renewal for Season Four!

Or raises! Or...

CANCELLED?!

All: WHATTTT?! - It's over.

(reads) "In spite of the incredible popularity...

(Speed read mumbles)

numerous nominations, but... (Speed read mumbles)

We're being replaced by something called

"Burning Bridgettes"?

What the heck is that?

Announcer: This fall, get ready for a brand new,

hard-hitting Crime Drama, Burning Bridgettes.

Starring Bridgette

like you've never seen her before...

...as TWINS!

All: Whaaat?

Announcer: "Burning Bridgettes" has cool cars!

And even cooler Bridgettes.

They kick the bad guys butts...

♪♪♪

All: Whoa!

Announcer: there are speed boat chases...

All: Whoa!

Announcer: nuclear Armageddon's...

All: Whoa!

Announcer: and puppies wrestling each other

while wearing tiny overalls.

All: Awwwwwwwwwww!

Announcer: Tune in this fall for...

"Burning Bridgettes".

- That looks like... amazing.

Good for Bridgette.

- Hey! Whaddya mean ' Good for Bridgette?'

That sounds like an Owen line!

Pfft. Fine.

Then I'm gonna go find some fireworks.

- Well, if Owen gets to play with fireworks,

then I'm gonna eat all his chili cheese chips!

- Wait. Beth loves chili cheese chips?

(Gasp) Then I guess I can finally start working

on this booger that's been driving me nuts all year.

- Guys, stop it!

You know the rules about keeping our characters distinct!

- Oh, so now Izzy is the rule police?

This show is off the rails!

Where's Chef? Somebody has to put a stop to this!

(Big expl*si*n outside)

- (Giggles) I just blew up my own car!

(Crazed laugh)

- Ugh, worst ending ever.

♪ Ta ta da ♪

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