- Dr. Katz?
- Yeah?
I'm gonna need a few hours
off this afternoon.
Is everything okay?
Because, Laura,
you've really been taking
a lot of time off this week.
I'm sensing that there's
something going on here.
I'm fine.
You know that
I'm always here for you?
You realize that, don't you?
You're not always here,
but I'm always here.
I don't need any...
I just think it's unfair of you
not to offer an explanation.
Well, I need it?
Laura, this is
the third time this week
that you've asked me for time
off in the afternoon.
Are you counting tomorrow?
Well, no, I guess not.
I don't like holidays
with my family.
Why is that, Mark?
I just don't, because you've
gotta be polite to 'em.
It doesn't last very long.
Ever just try to be so polite
you yawn inside your mouth?
Yeah.
You just listen to a story...
"Oh yeah?
Oh, you did what?
Uh-huh?
Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm,
mmm, mmm."
- Dr. Katz's office.
- Man alive, Laura!
Yeah?
What in god's name
were you doing yesterday?
I was out.
What do you mean you were out?
What kind of chop shop
are you running?
Yesterday, I tried for
three hours to get through.
Yeah, so what do you want?
First of all,
where are you going
in the middle of a workday?
We don't live in the tropics.
You can't just do what you want.
We're not in
some Equatorial country,
where you can work
anytime you want,
go to the beach,
have a rum drink.
We're in America, baby.
That means you put in
an eight-hour workday.
Then you have a rum drink.
Oh, this past Thanksgiving,
I just can't...
I can barely get through
things like that.
My aunt was all upset,
because we didn't use
real whipped cream.
We used this Kreme whip
or something like that.
It's really whipped topping
that you keep in the fridge.
I noticed on the bowl
of this Kreme whip,
it says,
"Any questions or comments
about our product,
call this number."
I'm thinking, who's the guy
that answers this phone?
He's the Kreme whip
hot-line guy.
First of all,
how busy can this guy get?
Well...
"Hello, Kreme whip?
Uh-huh, just one sec...
Could you hold please?
Okay, Kreme whip...
can I put you on hold
for just a second?
Kreme whip...
Just one second.
Is John back
from his break yet?!"
You know, this is
important, Laura.
I need to have an open line
with my father at all times.
You know, like the bat phone
or the red phone
in the white house.
I pick up the phone, I say,
"Dad," he says, "What?"
I don't even wanna hear
a dial tone.
What do you want?
What if I fell, hmm?
Or what if I got up,
but then I fell again?
Don't you two talk at home?
Occasionally.
Where did you go yesterday
afternoon anyway?
Oh, to none of your business.
Oh, that's very funny.
I don't think I can go
in traffic anymore.
Why?
I just can't deal
with those drivers.
I don't know why it is,
but when I pass
the slow drivers,
I have to look at 'em.
I don't know
what I'm looking for...
Like their face will
give me the answer.
"Oh, it's Mr. Magoo!"
I don't know why I look
at the slow drivers.
They all have that
same look on their face.
"Oh, I am not confident
behind the wheel.
This is hard!
I usually sit in that chair.
You're doing very well!"
- Hey, dad, pass the dip, will you?
- Yep.
Pass the other dip?
You know, you could get
sick mixing dips, Ben.
That's not true.
That's alcohol that you
get sick when you mix.
Well, I can get sick
watching you mix dips.
I think that's what I meant.
Hey, dad, I spoke
to Laura today.
That's a shocker!
And she seems to be
out of the office.
Yeah.
And you didn't tell me...
I should be filled in.
How did she sound to you
when you spoke to her?
Well, I asked her where she was,
and she was
pretty tight-lipped
about giving me an answer.
Is there something going on?
Is she okay?
I think that she's going through
some kind of personal crisis.
It's clear to me
that she needs to,
and she even used this phrase,
"To sort some things out."
That sounds serious, dad.
Yeah, that's not good...
You know what that means
when someone says, "I'm
sorting a few things out?"
You know what that means?
It means they're dying.
No, that's getting
their affairs in order, Ben.
- That's different.
- Oh, right.
Sounds like there's
something serious
going on at the office,
and I would certainly
take a little time
out of my schedule
to maybe investigate
what was going on.
You mean if you were me.
What do you mean?
I'm saying I don't think
it's a good idea
for you to get involved.
It's a very sensitive area.
Well, I mean, if there's anybody
who can find out
what's going on,
it's definitely me.
Oh, that's right...
I forgot who I was talking to.
- Yeah.
- Undercover Ben.
Dad, I'm gonna find out
what our little miss
"Can't be wrong" is up to...
- Huh?
- Do a little investigating.
Ben, I don't want you
to do anything.
Maybe it's
running g*ns to Mexico.
I don't think she can
do that on her lunch hour.
Well, why don't you
start guessing?
Why do I have to
look stupid all the time?
I just really don't have a clue.
Oh my god, she's my sister.
Do, do, do, do, do.
Do you mind?
Oh, hello, Laura.
I, I... oh.
Oh, hey, give me that back.
Please let me have that back.
Give it to me.
Look, I promise not to use
it if you give it back to me.
- Well...
- I promise.
Okay.
I'm sorry, that was an accident.
I really didn't mean to do that.
I just touched it,
I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry... I'm just
not... I don't really mean to...
Oh, boy, I'm really...
Dr. Katz's office.
- Oh, Laura.
- Mmm-hmm.
Is this you?
Yes, it is.
Wow, you're alive...
You're sitting there.
Am I really talking to you
on the phone?
Yes, I am, yes, that's right.
I'm glad I got you
while you were in.
Oh, well, good for you.
What a shock.
Figure these days,
why would you even
go to work, right?
Don't matter, does it...
Let it all hang out, baby.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Huh?
Yeah.
You don't care about
responsibilities, right?
You're all free.
That's right.
So you gonna stay in today
or are you gonna...?
Oh, well, I'll be in,
and then I'll be going out.
Oh, you're gonna be
leaving this afternoon?
Yes, that's right, Ben.
Like sorta like
yesterday afternoon?
Sort of.
Huh, it's a workday,
so why wouldn't you leave?
Mmm-hmm.
That's interesting.
Where would you go,
hypothetically?
To the zoo or...?
Mmm, any number of places.
But do you have
one specific place
you've been going to
in the afternoon?
Yes, actually I do.
- Really?
- Yeah.
That's funny, does
it begin with a "p"?
As in visiting a relative at
the penitentiary?!
Uh, no.
Does it begin with a "d,"
as in doing... things...
That are illegal?
Mmm, no.
Does it begin with a "c-h,"
as in, I'm sorry, a "p-h."
I'm sorry, a "p-s-c-h."
"P-s-c-h"?
I don't know
how to spell this word.
What's going on with you
and your brother now?
- Oh, Alan?
- Yeah.
Uh, nothing much.
Just the fact that he's older
than me still plagues me.
Mmm-hmm.
- I'm hoping to catch up some day.
- Yeah.
How come whenever I mention
your brother,
you start sweating?
Oh, I'm sorry...
Just a second.
You know
I don't like this game, Ron.
I don't think this is...
Hello?
Yeah, I'm at the doctor again.
No, not hair...
I'm at the head thing.
Yeah, okay, mmm-hmm.
All right, I'll tell him.
Okay, bye.
Who was that pretend call from?
That wasn't a pretend call,
that was, uh, um...
Huh, huh, huh...
Oh...
Huh, huh, huh, huh...
Laura, why don't we do this?
Why don't we play a game?
- You like games, don't you?
- No.
Of course, you do,
of course, you love 'em.
Everybody loves games.
That's why
they're called "games."
Let's play a game
that I love to play
called "Guess where I went
this afternoon."
Oh, okay, that sounds fun.
Yeah, it is a lot of fun.
- You go ahead to start.
- Okay.
Nowhere?
Well, I have to ask first.
So guess where I went
this afternoon?
Um, nowhere?
Okay, you win...
Now you ask me.
- Okay, Ben?
- Uh-huh.
Guess where I went
this afternoon.
Guess where I went...
Man, this game sucks.
This is something my colleagues
would probably...
Ron, just let it ring.
At least that would be a step
in the right direction,
you know?
Yeah, but I don't
know who it is.
Just ignore it... see
if you can do that for me.
- Would you do that?
- All right.
Hi, I can't come
to the phone right now.
Please leave a message,
and I'll get back to you
as soon as I can.
Beep!
Oh, they must have
hung up, hmm...
Well, I think you've taken
that game as far as you can.
I don't know, I don't think so.
Hello, is this Dr. Katz?
Hi, Ben.
I disguised my voice so Laura
wouldn't recognize me.
Yeah.
Listen, dad, I'm in a phone
booth outside the building,
and I don't mind telling you,
it reeks.
What I need
to know is Laura's HQ,
not to mention her DOD.
I have no idea what
you're talking about, Ben.
I can't... dad, I can't get
into this right now,
'cause I'm staked out outside.
Yeah, well, that's...
Let's go through this quickly.
I can't get into it either
because I'm an adult.
Why does that prevent you
from getting into it?
'Cause I don't like
spy games the way you do.
Would it help
if I just talked normally?
- It might.
- All right.
Now, how are you, Ben?
I'm fine, how are you, dad...
Let's get down to business.
Okay.
Where is Laura right now,
because I am outside,
so when she goes out
this afternoon,
I will be able to,
what they call in my business,
"tail her."
See, this is not a good idea,
and I'll tell you why.
Dad, I can handle
myself out here.
The streets are my friend.
I mean, this is where I live.
I just meld in, you know?
I'm a melder, dad.
Yeah, I can see you melding.
I'm waving to you
right now, Ben.
Look up...
Higher, to your left.
Yep.
Oh, hey... is that you?
Not only are you melding,
you're also waving now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right... I sort of blew
my cover right there.
Let me see
if Laura wants to wave.
- No, no, no, no, dad, don't do that.
- Yeah.
Okay, so I don't meld well,
but that's not everything.
How many fingers
am I holding up right now?
You're holding up three fingers.
- Damn.
- Yeah.
How many fingers
am I holding up now?
Read between the lines.
- Hmm.
- Hmm?
You want me to turn it up
for you?
- Dad?
- Ben?
Dad, don't use our real names.
All right, now start again.
Dad?
Men?
God, you're dumb.
All right, whatever...
Just a status report.
How's it going?
- Lost her.
- Okay.
Let me tell you what happened.
I followed her to the bank.
She went in the bank,
and I couldn't wait.
What do you mean
you couldn't wait?
I sort of got hungry, and she
was in there for a while.
The line was a mile long.
Do you understand
how this whole tailing
thing works, Ben?
Maybe I messed up this time,
but next time,
I am gonna stick to her like...
Like, um, you know.
Like something that's
a sticky substance?
Yes, yes, like
a very sticky substance.
But I was following Laura,
and I realized a whole 'nother
conspiracy going on.
Mmm-hmm.
You know the bakery?
Lenzio's?
Mmm-hmm.
I get the feeling
they pump out odors.
Right, their exhaust vent.
Well, not quite
their exhaust vent.
They vent out fumes
which make you go in
and buy baked goods.
I never trusted them.
What I'm trying to say is:
I got you a dozen crullers.
Hi, I'm here.
Richard Lewis...
I'm here to see Dr. Katz.
Good... why don't you
take a seat?
Listen, Laura, not that I wanna
move furniture around
or anything,
but I feel like you sit
pretty close to the office,
and not that
you should move the desk...
Are you afraid that
I'm gonna hear
about your problem?
Well, if it was just one,
I'd be a lucky man.
We haven't started
our session yet, have we?
Well, technically, the minute
you walk in here,
you're on the clock.
- Oh.
I mean, if something happens
that makes you feel better
on your way into the room,
that's part of the session too.
I can tell you anything,
can't I?
As long as it's not personal.
I have a feeling
you're gonna want me
as a regular patient.
Well, you are
a regular patient, Richard.
Do you know something
I don't know?
Yeah, I do.
What is that?
- Trust me.
- Mmm-hmm.
I guess I'm screwed up, man.
My uncle Phil, who passed away,
used to make home movies
and edit out the joy.
Those are our family movies,
and I have them.
Well, that's...
I don't let you talk much,
because I'm always afraid
to hear what
you're gonna say to me.
You know, you're sort of
an intellectual,
aren't you, Dr. Katz?
No, I'm more of
a pseudointellectual.
Maybe that's the problem
I have with you.
I miss my other therapist,
'cause I used to get
a hug a lot, you know?
Yeah, that's
not gonna happen here.
God, you're in a bad mood today,
Dr. Katz, aren't you?
No, I'm not in a bad mood.
I think maybe you're
projecting your mood onto me.
'Cause you're not...
Like you're cutting me off.
Isn't that weird?
Well, remember what you
said to me last time.
I've said so many things to you.
You don't like to confide in me.
That's true... you know,
but here's the problem
that I have, Dr. Katz.
I don't know whether
I'm being truthful with you
or trying to get you to laugh.
Well, jeez, I hope
it's not the latter.
Wait, which was the latter?
You know, you have
all the classic symptoms
of a hypochondriac.
I am a hypochondriac.
I mean, I got it
from my grandparents,
really, basically.
My grandmother,
she knitted her su1c1de note.
I doubt it.
Which was really a tragic thing.
We didn't know what
she was doing.
She also used
to collect antique dolls
with colitis.
Well, those are gonna be
worth something someday.
Young polar bear
comes home from school.
True story.
I have to tell you this joke.
Young polar bear
comes home from school,
and he says, "Mother, am I
really a polar bear?"
She says, "Of course, you're a
polar bear... now go to bed."
He comes home the next day,
he says,
"Dad, are you and mom really,
really polar bears?"
The father says,
"What are you talking about?
Good night."
This goes on for weeks,
for months.
"Were your parents polar bears?
Were their parents polar bears?
Am I, in fact,
a purebred polar bear?"
The father finally says,
"Enough!
Why do you keep asking us
these questions?"
He says,
"Because I am freezing!"
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's a great joke.
He was cold!
The bear, he was cold!
Yeah, right, that was the...
- Laura, can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
Are you planning on leaving?
Yeah, two hours early.
No, no, no, no,
that's not what I mean.
I mean, are you planning
on leaving this job,
on quitting this job?
- Would you still pay me?
- No.
Then, no.
Why do you think I'm leaving?
I don't know... it seems like
there's something going on
that you're clearly
not comfortable
talking to me about.
Dr. Katz, I'm not
gonna leave this job
until I find a better one.
Well, that's sweet of you
to say that, Laura,
'cause I really was worried.
So what are you doing out there?
I mean, I'm sure
there's an explanation.
Maybe it's none of my business,
but I feel like I'm entitled
to an explanation.
Well, I'll tell
you, Dr. Katz.
I've been going
to traffic school.
Well, why didn't you
say something?
Well, 'cause it's embarrassing!
Why is it embarrassing?
I was sentenced to traffic
school just for going fast!
- Yeah.
- Er.
Well, Laura,
I'm glad you're staying.
I'm going to need all the
afternoons off next week too.
More tickets?
No, I just sort of
have come to like
having my afternoons off.
That's a good one, Laura.
Okay.
Well, the last time I went there
was to get my license renewed,
and what they're doing now
is group photos.
- Dad?
- Yeah.
Take a look at Ben... huh?
Yeah, I don't have
to look at you.
This is what
it's all about, baby!
Why don't you leave...
Whoo, I stink!
Why don't you leave
your clothes in the hall
and get in the shower
immediately, Ben.
Dad, you know what?
No, no, I don't do that.
I wait... I wanna
relish this moment.
Were you in a food fight
or something?
No, dad, I was in a dumpster.
I was on a job.
I was investigating
in a dumpster.
I mean, that's...
I was in Laura's dumpster.
Ah-ha.
Going through some of her trash.
I wasn't quite sure it was hers,
'cause it was her building's,
and I didn't really find
something specific to Laura.
Mmm-hmm.
Except for some skim milk,
which I assume she does drink.
- Yeah.
So I was in there
for about a half hour,
and about 30 minutes went by,
and then I realized,
"I'm in a bunch of garbage,
and I gotta get
the hell outta here."
I'm not saying that all
this investigative work
was for nothing.
What do you mean?
Turns out she's been going
to traffic school.
She's had a bunch of tickets,
and she's required to go...
I thought she had to sort
a few things out.
Well, she was embarrassed.
She didn't want me to think
that she was a bad driver.
You're kidding...
Why did she say
she had to sort
a few things out?
Why didn't she just say,
"I was going
to traffic school?"
Like I said,
she was embarrassed.
- Well, how did you find out?
- I asked her.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
God, I suck at this!
I was with my high school
friends the other day,
and it kinda made me sad
that we can't do
what we did in high school.
Like, now you have to be
really polite to people.
As an adult, you're expected to.
"How was your weekend?
Like I care.
Uh-huh?
Well, that's good.
Yeah, that's nice."
Yeah.
You know, when you were
in high school,
you saw someone in the hallway.
You didn't have to stop
and chitchat.
All you had to do was this.
That's it... a little nod,
that was the whole greeting.
You were done with that person.
You know, two people walk by...
You know, they say men
aren't supposed to cry.
I mean, I saw
"Bridges of Madison county,".
And they fell in love,
and everything was good,
and then they realized they
shouldn't be together,
and they break up,
and then the real
husband comes back,
and he's way behind
Clint Eastwood in the truck,
and it's raining,
'cause everything bad
happens in the rain,
and the light turns green,
but Clint doesn't move,
and the guy's like,
"Boop, boop, today,
boop, boop, today."
You know?
And the husband says,
"What's he waiting for?"
He's waiting for her!
Hey, you want a tissue?
Can I have a minute, please?
- Hello, Dr. Katz?
- Yeah?
How are you doing today?
I'm good... is this Ron?
Yes, it is.
Where's Laura?
Um, she's not here.
What are you doing there?
Nothing much... I'm out here
in the waiting room.
Why don't you come on in?
I don't have to come in...
This is okay.
Yeah, I think it would be
better if you came in.
Can we talk on this
for just a little while?
- I rushed over here.
- Yeah.
And I thought, "I feel
so much better.
Now I'm at Dr. Katz's office,
and he'll help me out."
See, I think that's the problem.
I don't think you feel
safe in here at all.
You need to bring
all this stuff.
Really?
In fact, I'm tempted to hang on
to those things, Ron,
until we're done
with the session.
Just let me hold on
to some of these things
until the end of the session.
Uh...
And I'll give them
back to you, Ron,
and let's just be me and you
and whatever you're thinking.
Zoom!
It's kinda hard to think
without the stuff, though.
Blink, blink, blink!
I'm sorry, it's not going
that well, is it?
Yep, come on,
that one, too, Ron.
Really?
Whoops, you know
what the music means.
- Our time is up.
- Wow.
04x45 - Undercover
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A therapist struggles with problems of his patients, while dealing with the ones in his personal life.
A therapist struggles with problems of his patients, while dealing with the ones in his personal life.